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What should I do?
I'm 25/f and i have a 5 week old baby boy. I've been on my own since I was 13. My parents were horrible so I ran away. Because of my parents I started to drink and use drugs. I stopped using a week before I found out I was pregnant. I've been clean for 9 months and 7 weeks. I got this little apartment and I've been working two jobs to support me and my baby. I have been trying soo hard and I love him more than life itself but I can't do it anymore. I'm not being fair to him. I barely have enough money for food. We live in a tiny little apartment. The heat doesn't work half the time and I just feel like I'm not being fair to him.
My question is does anyone know a way that I can make more money to take care of him? Or are adoption agencies good at taking care of babies and finding them GOOD homes where he will taken care of like he deserves to be?
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
You have conquered the hardest thing, to stay clean and sober, so don't give up now. It's true your baby needs you, and you need to take good care of yourself, too. Having the responsibility for another human being makes everything harder, but not impossible.
Go to the nearest church and ask for guidance, or to the closest welfare agency. You may not qualify for the help they are organized for, but ask them for referrals to other agencies.
You probably qualify for housing assistance. It takes time, but the sooner you sign up for every program you qualify for the sooner you will receive some help....and keep checking back, some assistance will eventually come your way.
You probably also qualify for food stamps, or at least WIC, which can really be a help. If you qualify for that, your baby will receive medical care, too.
Since you have access to a computer, you can look up what is available close to you. Check on your City's web page, the County you live in, and the State's web page.
Keep asking for help until you find the help you need. All of these agencies are designed to help people help themsleves. Asking for help is not the same as asking for a hand-out. You are trying to manage your life and find a way to succeed on your own. Those agencies are there to help you do that.
There are private organizations that help women and children in need. Ask the nearest Salvation Army what assistance they might be able to give you. Call you County Welfare agency and see what programs you qualify for.
The long term solution to your situation is education. Check with the high school nearest you to see if they have any cooperative programs for working parents, night classes for GED, etc. Check with your local or state employment agency....they have training programs to help improve your earning ability. Sometimes the training/education programs are done in conjunction with child care training classes so that you have a place for your baby to be while you are in class/training.
Keep asking. Don't give up. You are a strong, valuable person. You can do whatever you have to do. You have come this far and have accomplished so much more than so many people have....people who have turned their back on responsibility and the needs of their children. God loves you and your child. He will open the doors for you if you knock.
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Wow tita! Auntie give you plenny credit for getting clean. You can be one good muddah if you tink tings thru. Try check out sum job sites for jobs dat let you work frum home. Or maybe you can put one ad on yo' local craigslist.org site saying you can babysit other people's kids too.
Try writing too! Sumtimes you can sell yo' articles fo' good-kine money.
Good luck, tita!
A hui hou!
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I think you can get help. Over here in England you can get whats called benefits for single mothers like yourself. Its definitely worth checking out on the internet or at your local council or even the local doctors or hospital.
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Well I don't think you should have to give up your baby just because you don't have enough money to feed him. Since you love him more than life I bet you could find a way. I'm have no idea what else to do. All you can do is just pray. hope i helped some!
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This will sound ridiculous I'm sure but go to
www.drphil.com and look under become a dr phil family or look for a place to ask question on there. He is very good and could help you i'm sure. He has also helped with finding adoptive families in the past should you decide that is the way to go. Let me know if you get any help.
I would love to see you be able to keep your baby. I know it is tough going. Social services may be of help too. :)
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i dont think that you should give him up for adoption because what will he think of you when he finds out that he did. He will think that he is diffrent and doesnt really belong..My advice is find another single young mom and share an apartment or find a co-op. Its like when everyone in an apartment building does free childcare in exchange for childcare... Get onto WIC and other programs .. well thats what i think..
lisaleilani
rate me
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Dear young mom,
I feel so bad for you. You are trying so hard, and I know that it must be very difficult. Yes adoption can be a good alternative. I would try Catholic Charities, though, there won't be any fees involved, and maybe you can opt for an open adoption so you can still see your baby. But are you sure that is what you want. Will you be able to handle it emotionally? You have been so strong up to now. Where do you live, I mean what state do you live in. DO you live near a large city. Do you live near any of the covenant house locations. They take in runaway kids. Maybe they will help you and your child. Isn't there anyone, relative. It seems so unfair. You know those moms that killed their kids, and then lied and said that they were abducted? Sooooo many people said that they would have taken care of them, and raised them. Where are those people now? Why isn't there someone to help you. DId you know that you can bring any baby to a hospital emergency room, and they will take the baby, no questions asked. I think this is a nationwide law, designed to keep young scared girls from killing their babaies. Is this an option you would consider. Maybe some one at the hospital ER will have some compasion for you and direct you to some help and support.
A way you can make more money....well, what kind of education do you have? What are you doing now for work. Can you work in a day care where you can also bring your child, and work while being with the child? Can you become a surrogate mom, carry children to term for someone else? That pays very well I hear, and sometimes they support you during your pregnancy. Maybe you can even go to school while you are doing that, and improve your chances of earning more money while you stay with your baby? Sometimes you can even donate your eggs to infertile couple. Listen the covenant house has a web page www.covenanthouse.org and they have a free phone line. 800-999-9999. YOu can call them and talk about ANYTHING. See if they can direct you to some services that will help. If you want to give me more info about your education and skills so maybe I have more ideas about better employement...leave a question in my inbox. Advice name Michele
I hope some of this helps you. Please hang in there, and find the help you need. It is out there, but you have to look hard for it. They don't put signs up on the highway. So keep looking. Oh yes, in this state we have a social services hot line that is 211 sort of like 911, only it gets you information, like what you need. I don't know if they have that in your state, but try it. 211 for social services info. Also try the blue pages of the phone book.
Michele
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