AuntieGabbz's advice column

askAuntieGabbz

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: When I was little I loved reading. Now, because all my friends read stuff that doesn't interest me, all I want to do when I pick up a book is finish it. I hate it. I know I should be reading more to be educated and all, I just don't know exactly what to read.

My friend and I have come to the conclusion that I like Steinbeck/Orwell kind of stuff, not fiction or fantasy, but told in a surrealistic way. I also like government conspiracies, and philosophy. My parents won't let me even read the book A Clockwork Orange..ugh..so my question is, what are some really good books/authors I might enjoy to expand my brainn?

Try Old Man And The Sea. Dat's a good one. Farenheit 451 is good too. Ummmm...Of Mice and Men is excellent.

Try do one web search fo' reading lists. Usually get some really awesome books on dat kine lists.

By da way, Steinbeck and Orwell are fiction (although dey wen write non-fiction too)! You said you no like read "fiction or fantasy."

Q: Hey, my gerbil has a scent gland tumor. It's kind of big and I put some valerian root in his water to try and help him. It's seemed to help a bit. Does anybody know any other things I can do to help him and maybe reverse the damage, other than surgery?

By the way, I'm not giving him surgery because he's pretty old and I don't want to stress him out.

Ask da vet! Explain tings to da vet, and ask him fo' advice.

Q: today when i was riding horses with my mom and aunt my mom told me that my mole...its like on the side of my chin...she told me that it was changing colors....she said that it was getting darker, and that we should go to a doctor and get it checked out and my aunt agreed...and now i cant get my mine off of it...what if it is cancerous(sp?) it makes me really worried. so my question is...if i do get this mole removed will it hurt?? does it leave scars?? (sorry so long..ill rate high!) please help!!!

Stop panicking! Jus' go to da doctah and get da ting check out! No worry! I had one lump on my back--da ting was kinda big. I went doctah, and she went remove 'um. Left one small-kine scar, but nuttin anyone but me notices. And da ting wasn't malignant.

So stop freaking out and jus' go doctah! One step at one time.

Q: well you need to learn how to speak English properly!!

Believe it or not, I do know how to speak proper English . . . as is proven by this post. In fact, I was an English major and know the grammatical rules of English inside and out. That is why I allow myself to post my advice in my "second" language: Hawaiian Pidgin English.

So no go telling Auntie dat she no no how fo' speak da kine English! She know how fo' speak um really friggin' good!

Q: hey am 15 yrs old and i have a long story so don't get mad,well i like my nieghbor but his 12 yrs old and i went out with him once but just for one day the next day he told me it was over and he never gave me the reason why and that was like 5 months ago and now am starting to talk to him again and he always smiles and keeps looking at me and today i think he wanted to talk to me and when i was in the car hearing music i was screaming at my niece to close the door and he just went yea close the door and i was surprise because he came to close the door and he smiled at me and he left. well like an hour pass and he and my other nieghbor were outside cleaning and i had left the door opened and they saw me on the computer and told me if they could go hear music with me in my car i was like sure and then we were just hanging around there and then his brothers and some friend came out and all of them got in the car and one of his friend was lets go play something he was like noo because i just want to kick it in here with her and julio (that's his friend) and all of them just left, after that he left to go get some cds and i ask his friend does he have a girlfriend and he was i don't know and he asks me why do you wanna go back with him i was like am not sure and he said i will hook you up again if u want i was like sure but when am not around he was why you need to be face to face i was i know but then he came so me and julio never finish talking and then my sister was gonna go leave her boyfriend and my other sister at thier houses so we had to get out so we were prank calling people and me,julio and abul that's his name! and then abul got my phone book and i was trying to get it back and then he graved my hand and he wouldn't let go and then i ran after him and we were at the parking lot ( i live in apartments) and two of his friends were mad at him for no reason and then he was lets go i was okay!? but am not sure if i should talk to by ourselfs or should i ask him out again and what should i do?? oh yea he doesn't have a girlfriend!!!

Okay, Auntie goin' be rude here, but GROW UP! And learn how fo' write! Cheeze!

Numba one: da guy is only twelve! He stay one frikken baby!

Numba two: you stay only 15! Try concentrate on one edumacation firs'! Den focus on stupid little boyz.

Why everyone gotta be so wound up in "ooooh...does he like me?" or "oh no, is he too old or too young?" or "oh it's so cute that he held my hand!"

Auntie stay rolling her eyes ova hea.

Q: How long does it take for a symtom of an STD to show up? I just gave my boyfriend a blow job last night for the first time and now i have a sore in my mouth. Could it be an STD and should i be worried? Thanks so much.

Cooooo...chill tita! STDs isn't gonna show up dat fas'! But if you so scared yo' man get one STD, why da hell you havin' any kine sex wit' him at all?

Sistah, you bettah wise up befo' you die.

Q: why do you talk like a g*hetto person if you're old?

You telling Auntie dat 31 is old? And truss me, Auntie no talk all dat ghetto crap! Auntie stay talking Hawaii's pidgen! Go check out Auntie's profile. Da ting say so right dea!

Q: I was thinking it would be cute to have a yearbook each year that has pictures and memories of my friends and i. We have so many pictures, and I'd like to keep them all together in a cute book. My question is, where can I publish a yearbook thats not designed for school, and that I can order in a small amount (like, 7 yearbooks)

Go take a look at Cafe Press (cafepress.com). Dey get a few options for make one book. But da oddah guy's suggestion stay good too--go Kinko's.

Q: any on know how i can keep my shoulder length hair of my face

Go cut 'um!

Serious kine, but--get plenny ways! Get couple hair clips and pull yo' hair back. Put 'um in one ponytail or in pigtails. Braid 'um. Pull 'um back in one french twist.

Try go look my pitcha on my profile. I get shoulda-length hair in dat, and I get 'um pinned back so da ting stay off my face.

Q: my hair is naturally black and i want to dye it brown so what kind of product would be good to use for my hair thats permanent ?

Da bes' ting fo' do is go to one salon. Get 'um professionally done! Dat's permanent and good. But if you no like do dat, den try Feria by Loreal. Dat's what Auntie use fo' cover her greys, and da ting seem fo' work good.

Q: me and my friend found a baby blackbird yesterday whilst mowing the lawn.Its hurt its wing. we kept it in a cage over night and put her in a rabbit run this morning.Its mum keeps on coming and feeding him and we don't no what to do. should we lets him go or should we keep him for a couple more nights. by the way next door have five cats!
Cheers James

Listen to Auntie: Take da birdie to da VET!!!

Q: I'm 25/f and i have a 5 week old baby boy. I've been on my own since I was 13. My parents were horrible so I ran away. Because of my parents I started to drink and use drugs. I stopped using a week before I found out I was pregnant. I've been clean for 9 months and 7 weeks. I got this little apartment and I've been working two jobs to support me and my baby. I have been trying soo hard and I love him more than life itself but I can't do it anymore. I'm not being fair to him. I barely have enough money for food. We live in a tiny little apartment. The heat doesn't work half the time and I just feel like I'm not being fair to him.

My question is does anyone know a way that I can make more money to take care of him? Or are adoption agencies good at taking care of babies and finding them GOOD homes where he will taken care of like he deserves to be?

Wow tita! Auntie give you plenny credit for getting clean. You can be one good muddah if you tink tings thru. Try check out sum job sites for jobs dat let you work frum home. Or maybe you can put one ad on yo' local craigslist.org site saying you can babysit other people's kids too.

Try writing too! Sumtimes you can sell yo' articles fo' good-kine money.

Good luck, tita!

A hui hou!

Q: well ive been with my boyfriend for 2 months. we're both 14 and pretty conservative. im not sure what everyone else does but im not sure where we should be in our relationship. if you have any experience with this at all, any help is greatly appreciated.

Sistah girl, you stay only 14! Don't even think about moving quickly! Auntie get one cousin dat had her firs' bebe when she wuz only 15! You no like be like dat, so keep things goin' slow! In fack, Auntie neva even have her firs' boyfriend until she wuz in college! And you know what? Auntie no like change dat fo' da world!

So take it EZ! No worry where you "should" be. 'Cause in Auntie's mind, you already stay where you should be!

Q: Ok this guy really likes me. He asked me out today. I didnt want to hurt his feelings by sayin no so I said I dont know. And he started crying. I felt soo bad. What should i do?? He's 15/m and im 13/f. Please help. I rate high.

Howzit tita! Dis is Auntie Gabbz from Hawaii! I tell you what I tink! First, you too young for go out wit' any guy! Live yo' own life on yo' own terms! Have fun! Guys goin' still be around in da f-yoo-cha (dat means future). Have fun now wen you can!

And if dis guy stay so sensitive dat he actually cry when you tell him you dunno if you like go out, den he get someting wrong wit him. He need for learn to control his emoshuns, li'dat!

Like some odda people wen' say, betta you tell him da truth den hurt him even more lataz!

bio

AuntieGabbz been living in Hawaii for 28 years. She can be funny or serious, but she always stay one Auntie firs' and always show da love for everyone. Auntie like fo' write in da kine pidgen English cuz dat's what Auntie talk like at home all da time.

Auntie stay home cuz no mo' job right now, but if can, Auntie like write advice fo' one living cuz stay fun fo' do and cuz she love fo' help oddah peoples.