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Orgasm?
My boyfriend's a rather sexual person, and I'm..getting there, haha. I've given him an orgasm and we've been trying to give me one. I'm kind of reluctant cos it hurts! Should it hurt? We are not having sex, fingering, but no intercourse. When he touches my clitoris it seems like pain, but also kind of good, but like tickling in which you try to move away. It hurts when he presses too hard of course, but then doesn't give that weird kick when it's not hard. The other day he was touching my clit and my leg started spazzing, but the clit hurt, but it felt like we should keep going, yet we stopped cos it hurt me kind of. We don't think I came. Wondering, what aren't we doing? And what does an orgasm feel like for a girl (or anyone)?
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Get wet first...try having him eat you out that muight help get you an orgasm
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get it wet and ask him to not rub so hard.
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ask him if he could take it easy and if his fingers are too rough use can use a cotton ball or something. and trust me an orgasm feels good
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The main thing you have to do is to relax. It sounds like your boyfriend might be pressing too hard in which case, when it starts hurting ask him to slow down. Keep at it and you will be fine, sometimes it does take a long time.
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... That is a EXTREMELY sensitive. It is like rubbing a finger over raw nerves... If you want to try this I have an Idea someone told me... Try right above it... but not on it
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it always helps to have some kind of lubricant or at least for his hand to be wet, that might keep it from hurting a little bit. if he starts very lightly and just gradually tries different directions and motions and slowly starts to add more pressure u might find it a little more enjoyable. the leg spazzing thing is a sign you're getting close. it takes sometime for people to find out exactly what gets them to orgasm, just experiment and dont think about it too hard & have fun :)
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No, it shouldn't hurt.
It's important to play around first. Women's bodies are a little different then men. Men have normal skin on their penis, and can take a lot more stimulation. It's possible to turn a guy on by grabbing and going. It doesn't work that way for women usually. Star by kissing, then touching other parts of the body. When you get turned on, you'll get wet and your clitoris will get bigger. It fills with blood just like a man's penis does. (It never gets really big, so it's hard to notice unless you know your body well.)
That's when he should *start* touching your genitals. He shouldn't stop kissing you (although he may want to move to kissing the insides of your thighs, or you belly) and you might find it helpful if you touch your own breasts to keep up the stimulation there.
Also, don't focus on orgasm exclusively. Do things that feel good and that you enjoy. Most women don't orgasm every time. There are degrees of orgasms. Technically, an orgasm is a release of endorphins and pulsing of genital muscles. Sometimes the pulsing doesn't happen, but the endorphins do, and you are suddenly much more relaxed as all the sexual tension has drained away. Sometimes, your whole body seems to throb - but that's pretty rare. Usually, you feel the tension build up till it's nearly unbearable, then the vaginal muscles start to clench and release uncontrollably and you feel kinda high. Many women report that the room feels like it's spinning, or other similar "high" sorts of experiences.
It takes a long time to get a woman to orgasm, especially if both partners are inexperienced. Take your time and enjoy the journey. It's not so important that you experience an orgasm as it is that you enjoy the time you spend being sexual together. It's an exploration, and a chance to get to know each other in a special way. Have fun. :)
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Okay this is what my boyfriend does and ive had more then one organsm from him doing it might seem weird but when you get it done your not going to care.. well okay he rubs there but not hard in fact he barely presses on it and he spits or licks it and then when yea i get really wet he continues to do it and rubbing the wetness on my clit.. it feels really good jus dont let him rub real hard and my boyfriend fingers me while he does it.. much luv dez x0x0
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the clitoral area is a sensitive one, and can send painful feelings through you as well as good ones. have him work the area around your clit moreso than the clitoris itself. it's just as effective, and should keep you from getting that painful sensation. the clitoris is a gathering of nerve endings and is incredibly sensitive to touch. so have him touch the area around it but not the clitoris itself.
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well maybe the whole finger thing isn't your thing. but when you get the tingle just keep going cuz you are getting there. it may hurt but just keep it up
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Ok. First off, do not use baby oil or vaseline. They could give you an infection, and aren't meant for "masturbation" at all... you can however buy anything meant for the genitals, K-Y Liquid is what I'd recommend. Comes in a small pump bottle that should be easily hidden, from roomates, friends, and the like. And it's also found in most drug stores, with the condoms.
Your clit is very sensitive, and most likely will hurt if he's pressing to hard. Alot of women can't take direct stimulation, at least for long periods. Not only that, but fingering shouldn't hurt.
Women need more than just a finger in the spot to turn us on, start with rubbing, fondling, and getting your body up and excited before you allow him to actually finger you, and rub you.
And yes, I'd definitely play with yourself, and see what works for you, what feels good, what doesn't. The best one to know your body is yourself.. so get to know it ;)
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The reason it "hurts" when he is touching your clitoris is because he isn't stimulating you enough before hitting the sweet spot. You never go straight to the most sensitive female area without building up to it. Which may also be why it hurts when he is fingering you, you aren't lubricated enough naturally from being turned on. If it's a lack of moisture no matter what, try using KY jelly but do NOT use anything that isn't MEANT for genitals as you can have serious reactions. Anyway, go slow, build up to everything, you may not have an orgasm for a long time...but practice never hurts. Try pleasing yourself too, as it will help you realize what you like and don't like. Don't be afraid to tell him what feels good either, he probably isn't totally sure what he is doing either.
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expieriment on yourself. you cant figure out what pleases you unless you do it yourself. clitorus' are VERY VERY sensitive..it is the most sensitive nerv on your body..so he could be pressing to hard..also try using lubricant..try those three things...also you could try not doing anything sexual for a couple of days then do it and see what happens..sorry i didnt really help
michelle♥
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I usually never answer these type of questions but I couldn't help myself.
Haven't you ever expeiremented yourself? You really should. How can you tell your boyfriend what feels good if you don't know yourself. I am totally serious. Masturbation is a great tool for discovering your sexuality. You'll learn what an orgasm is.
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I'm not a big expert on this.
From what I think you should do is experiment with yourself, know what you like and then tell your boyfriend.
~kooka
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An orgasm for a girl is a contraction of muscles in the uterus, as per men in the penis, all involuntary. You might consider using lubrication of some sort ( KY, vaseline, baby oil, any of that. ) Because it could be the fact his fingers, or /you/ are too dry. Both male and female genitilia are riddled with nerve endings, and they can be pain ones if there is too much friction to cause heat. If you don't know what /you/ like, how can he? Experiment around with /yourself/ first. Find out what ya like!
â?¥EJ(ST)
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