about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

I love listening to music and I love to sing. But I think that my voice is not good. What do I do????

My friend Amy has a great website that has singing tips on it.

http://www.geocities.com/singingtips/sing.html

Check it out =]

--Jack
(17/m)

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I'm usually pretty happy, but now I'm not.
My dog, Sadie, was born a year after me, and I've never known life without her. She's 13, though, and a big dog. She's had some health problems, and I know that she has little time left. I'm scared. My cat died when I was nine, and that was bad, but she's my best friend, and I'm crying just typing this. I'm really scared that she'll go. I know and understand that everyone goes through this, and that she'll have to go someday, but I'm dreading coming home from my first day of high school and not having my happy girl there to meet me. I, personally, think that she has a week or two left. I am going to my first overnight camp (I know, late), and I'm really looking forward to it, but it would ruin my summer if Sadie died during that, or during our family's cross-country vacation. I know, I'm being very selfish, but I need help. I'm scared that I'll go into depression. Any ideas for getting over the pain and to stop worrying and enjoying life?

I lost my dog Phoebe last year in April. We think she had a heart attack. Needless to say, it was horrible losing her. She was my best friend.

Spend as much time with your dog as you can. Seriously, I regret that so much about Phoebe. I mean, I spent a lot of time with her, but not enough.

Take her for a walk. Take pictures with her. Take pictures of her. Take a video of her. Take a video with her. Do something so that you have something to hold onto when Sadie passes. I scrambled to find pictures of Phoebe after she passed. That's another thing I "regret".

So, spend as much time with her as possible, and take a lot of pictures/videos of her. You'll be happy later that you did all of that, because you'll have something to hold onto that will make you cry, obviously, but at the same time will comfort you.

I will seriously pray for your dog. Losing a pet is terrible, and I don't ever wish that upon ANYONE.

Best wishes,

--Jack
(17/m)


***Additional Information***

It's really odd, but actually my dog Bailey passed away last night/this morning. I just thought I'd let you know, in case you look at this again, that I definitely understand what you're going through, and I am ALWAYS here to talk.

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i put some pictures on one of those blank CDs that you buy at walmart..and i was wondering how i can take those off??

Unfortunately CDs aren't like flash drives or tapes; you can't just delete information off of them.

CDs are fairly inexpensive, so you could probably get a new one really cheap if you needed a blank one.

Sorry. =/

--Jack
(17/m)

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13/m
what are some nice things to say to my girlfriend while we're just walking around town or around school just talking about random things like a poem or quote or just anything like that
thanks much appreciated

I agree with the compliments thing.

Whenever I hit a spot in a conversation with my girlfriend where I don't know what to say, I give her a genuine compliment.

And she always appreciates it =].

--Jack
(17/m)

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What do guys think of girls watching porn? is it a total turn off or on? or neither?

Turn off.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for awhile and have not had any kind of sex. I am now getting more and more comfortable every time I hangout with him. We have been talking about having oral sex for awhile but im just soo nervous. How do I get passed my nerves? I need help! I have only done this once and I was drunk. He has had alot of experience and I havent had any. Maybe thats why im scared. I dont know I just need some serious help!

The fact that you're scared and nervous about it tells me that you're not ready. As comfortable as you are with him doesn't matter. You know you're ready when there's absolutely no worries or inhibitions about doing it.

So, tell him you'll let him know when you're ready, because you are not from what I can tell.

And that's ok. If he can't accept that, then really it's his loss.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Female/Age16
My boyfriend is the sweetest thing! The only problem is a lot of the time, I have to make the decisions/suggestions on romantic things like where to go or what to do (example: dinner and a movie, beach, walk, ect.) I don't mind it sometimes but I don't want to make every single decision you know. I love him so much but I don't want to tell him straight up that I want him to make decisions/suggestions sometimes. How else can I tell him?

Relationships are based on communication.

If you can't "straight up" tell your boyfriend you want him to make decisions about what to do when you hang out, then there's a problem.

I don't know why you can't. If he cares about you, he won't get mad. And honestly, it's nothing to get mad over.

But, I guess you could do the "You choose!" or "You decide!" things if all else fails.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I'm tired of having it. I'm starting to think it's a mental thing. If I think too hard about it, it gets worse. I don't know. I've tried tons of different soaps and face washes and moisturizes. I've tried sticking to a certain routine. I eat healthy and drink plenty of water. I try to get enough sleep. My mom acts like it's no big deal. All she says is 'you'll grow out of it.' I'm tired of waiting. Sometimes I just stay home instead of going out because my face is too bad. I CAN NOT go to the doctor. My mom thinks that is stupid. I've tried proactiv and all though high name things. I don't know what else to do.

Hey. I know this sounds weird, odd, strange, etc., but what I'm about to say to you ACTUALLY works:

Get some lemon juice. You got the lemon juice? Alright- now take the lemon juice- and take a Q-tip and dab some lemon juice onto your zit with the lemon juice. Just a thin layer- not the whole bottle, silly! =D

Alright- so doing this at night is the best thing to do- it will really reduce the size and shape of the zit- and you won't know it was there in a few days.

Make sure not to touch it with your fingers after you put on the lemon juice- the oils from your fingers will stop the effect.

Relax- everyone gets zits- so you're only normal =D.

And here's a forum discussion from one of my friends on here that talks a lot about acne:

http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=368&userboard_id=35415

From there:
ductape_n_roses wrote Saturday August 4 2007, 12:20 pm:
Acne pretty much sucks ass and we all hate them.
I'll pretty much share what I know and my experiences.

So, I used to have really bad acne for like 2 freaking years. It sucked and I hated it. But now I'm better and here are my views on stuff:

Dermatologists are hard to get an appointment with and very pricey. They don't do much except look at you once, then they have their assistants take care of you after the dermatologist her/himself prescribes you acne medicine. It's usually Differin [sp?] and Benzaclin [sp?].

OTC Medicine:
Not all medication work effectively on all people. I've learn that it doesn't work for me or for anyone with sensitive skin. It may work for some people but as soon as they stop the use, acne comes back. Whether it's a cream, gel, or oral medication, they all suck! They dry out your skin, irritate it, increase sunburns/tans, and enlarge your pores. Not your dream skin, huh? And ironically, they sometimes make it worse. And you know what the 'best' part is? They're freakishly expensive! And once you stop the medication, acne comes back and parties like there's not tomorrow. Oral medication also makes your insides bad =/

Acne Products:
Acne face wash, gel, cream, whatever. Proactive seems to be a big one, too. Anywhos, as I've mentioned above, some work for some people while it makes everything worse for other people. It all depends. But most of the time, all those products dry your skin out, irritate it, and/or makes your acne worse. And it enlarges your pores too. Again, not very dreamy. And if they do work, as soon as you stop using them, they come back. Same line second verse.

So what the hell are you suppose to do?
Go the natural, cheap way.

Washing your face:
Wash your face gently only twice a day. Once is okay, I guess. But washing your face when you get up and before you go to bed is a good idea. More than twice a day could irritate your skin. Also, do not scrub your face, wash it gently as if you were washing a baby. Use face friendly products, too. I recommend a brand called Cetaphile. It's gentle on your skin and softens it. PAT your face dry with a clean towel.

Towels and pillow cases:
Try and change them as much as you can. Every day would be PERFECT but hard to do sometimes.

Squeezing:
Not only does that sound disgusting, it is. And it leaves nasty scars. Don't touch your face at all unless you have a slight itch. Don't rest your chin/cheeks in your hands or your arm. Just leave it alone as if it was a $10,000,000 mask that if you touch, you'll get arrested for. Oh, and try to keep your hair out of your face.

Sleeping:
Sleeping plays a big, huge role. Your body starts to renew its skin starting around 10PM and ending around 2AM. So be sure to be sleeping somewhere in between or the entire time. Sleeping early helps, and getting adequate sleep improves your skin and its tone.

Eating:
Milk makes acne worse. It's scientifically proven. Junk foods, sweet, sugars. ALL BAD FOR YOU PERIOD. Avoid/limit them along with sodas even if they're diet. Sports drink contain loads of sugar. Juices, too. Instead, eat healthy foods like veggies and fruits! I've noticed that my skin improve immensely when I turned vegetarian. So maybe give a shot to eating lots of veggies and fruits and other healthy stuff and cut down on meat? Also try and drink green tea [tea bag with no added sugar] or green tea with aloe [again, tea bag with no added sugar].

Masks:
Home made masks are probably the best. Here are few that work and softens your skin:

1. Red ginseng syrupy liquid thing mixed with warm water and a bit of all purpose flour. Make a mask thing with that.

2. Green tea [tea bag] cooled down to room temperature. Splash it on your face for 5min or so. I know it sounds weird but it helps. Or mix it with a little bit of all purpose flour and make a mask.

3. Mix warm milk, honey, and all purpose flour. Make a mask with that.

Only do the mask right after you washed your face. Make sure you don't put on any lotion and what not. Do not leave it on for more than 10-15min because bacteria will become attracted to the mask. Do not laugh, squint, whatever. Just keep your face neutral or you'll get wrinklies. Do not peel the mask off. Slowly wash it off GENTLY with LUKEWARM water. Keyword: GENTLY.

Lotions and make ups and what not:
Lotions/Sunblocks have products that won't clog pores, are fragrance and oil free. I suggest you buy from either Neutrogena or...some other renown company. I use Neutrogena's Oil Free Moisturizing Face Lotion and Neutrogena's Oil Free 55 SPF Sunblock. And Aveeno's 50 SPF Sunblcok [oil free] sometimes.

Make up should be limited to only eye and lip make up. No foundation, no concealer, not blush, no powder. Get my drift? Good. If you MUST wear make up, limit it down to special occasions [School does NOT count] and take it off as soon as you can. Whatever you do, do NOT go to bed with make up on!


I hope that helps!

And Proactiv sucks!

--Jack
(17/m)

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okay..so all summer i've been tanning outside..i usually take my strings off my top peice..cause i dont really want tan lines there..

but i've kinda been thinking about going tanning in a booth..but i really dont wanna pay for that..and since i'm not driving yet..i dont have anyway to get there except my mom..and idk if she would take me. but it's free just tanning outside...

so which would be better?

Tan outside. I could get into the scientific reasons behind this, but I barely remember them, so I won't try.

But non-scientifically, you'll be saving a boat-load of money, both with the fee to tan at a booth and with the cost of gas.

And if she's not going to take you, you might as well just stay at home and do it.

But, don't stay out in the sun for very long, as in a few hours. I would say, at most, an hour at a time. And, don't do it EVERY day. Maybe do it like three days a week?

--Jack
(17/m)

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Apparently, my girlfriend did something that if she tells me what it was, I'll actually leave her.

I'm a very tolerant, and patient person. I'm very concerned about what she did, but I'm not going to push her to tell me. I am, however, pushing that we do couple counseling soon, so that we can be a better couple.

Point is, how would I tell if she cheated on me?

Honestly, I agree with the person below me.

A relationship is supposed to be based on trust and communication. Neither of those two things are happening with yours right now.

Tell her that she needs to tell you and that you will be as patient and understanding as you can. And that you will try as hard as you can to work everything out.

But she really needs to tell you, because if it involves you, it's your right to know.

The signs that the person said below are pretty good indicators, but then again, it's never certain. Don't jump to conclusions until you know for sure what this secret is.

--Jack
(17/m)

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In this question: http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=Cux

You said: 'There's birth control, but you should probably be on it a few months so your body is used to it before you start having sex.'

I thought I should let you know that this is incorrect. Providing you take the Pill on the first day of your period for the first time, it is immediately effective. If you take it at any other time then you need to wait two weeks.

You do not need to reply to this, it's just an informal note from the L2's to let you know that this information is incorrect to prevent you from giving it again.

Thanks,
Rainbowcherrie.

I know you said not to answer it.

But, I know what I was thinking!

You have to be on it a few months if you're on it to regulate your period.

And if that's not right, I give up! =P

Thanks,

--Jack

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Those chain messages that are all over youtube, facebook ect, why do people actually believe them and pass them on, are you one of those people?
I've been wanting to know for a while now since they seem to be everywhere. ones like this...

THIS REALY WORKS!
1. PUT BOTH OF YOUR HANDS ON YOUR CHEST!
2. THINK OF SOMETHIN YOU WANT!
3. TOMMORROW YOUR WILL GET A SUPRIZE WITH THE THING U WISHED 4!
HERES THE CATCH U HAVE 2 POST THIS TO 5 QUIZZES!

Teenagers will believe almost anything.

Heck, I used to believe those stupid things.

Hopefully for most of them it's just a phase, because obviously none of that is true or going to work.

I say just ignore it; that's what I do.

--Jack
(17/m)

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female,14
ok so i saw this guy that i thought was cute.he asked for my name.we see each other every day and i can tell he wants to reach out to me..i keep dreamng about him. how can i just make the first move without suprising him or getting rejected?Hes kind of quiet so something kind of calm too.

Ask him to hang out.

Be like:

"Hey, I'm going to the movies this weekend, want to come?"
or
"Hey, I was thinking about going to [restaurant] later, do you wanna come?"

Stuff like that will probably work, and you won't be coming on too strong. For all he knows, you're just going as friends. But, it's a nice way to get to know him, too. =]

--Jack
(17/m)

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hi so im melinda and im 20 years old. i have a bf that is 22 and weve been dating for 2 years. my values were that i would wait until i got married, but i realized i should just wait till i find someone i love. i have never had sex and neither has he. are there any tips in avoiding pregnancy or any tips at all because im very nervous.

The best way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence, but that's probably not what you wanted to hear.

Anyway, definitely use protection, which means a condom. Not only will that most likely prevent pregnancy [the effectiveness is not 100%], it will help protect you against STDs, whether you think you have them or not.

There's birth control, but you should probably be on it a few months so your body is used to it before you start having sex. Or, at least this is what I've gathered from 3 years on this site. XD.

--Jack
(17/m)

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hi im sandra female and im 17 i just got a boyfriend today and how do i act near him or around him

Well, there's a few things you can do.

If you're trying to make every step of your relationship count, I wouldn't do anything past hugging for at least a week.

Maybe after a week or two, you could start holding hands?

Whenever you're both comfortable, you could start kissing.

But as for how to actually act around him. Well, it's probably best if you are just attentive to him and listen to what he says. Other than that, I don't really know what else to say?

--Jack
(17/m)

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how do I know if my boyfriend wants to kiss me?

Plain and simple, he looks you in the eyes and just stares.

Not a creepy stare, but a... gentle stare.

It's hard to explain.


He also might move closer to you.


--Jack
(17/m)

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How many ammendments are there and what do they all stand for?

Well, she pretty much said it all right before me, but the Amendments have groupings, sort of.

-Amendments 1-10 are the Bill of Rights
-Amendments 13, 14, and 15 are the Reconstruction Amendments
-Amendments 15, 19, 23, 24, and 25 are the Suffrage Amendments

Maybe that helps you out a bit.

Oh the things I learned in Government class =]

--Jack
(17/m)

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im 17 years old and 5 weeks pregnant.

my boyfriends family wants me to get an abortion.
my family doesnt want me to get an abortion.
i don't want an abortion.
my boyfriends family are saying if i keep the baby then he has to move out and there disowning him.
i feel guilty.
i dont know what to do.
adoption ISNT an option.
hes scared and doesnt think were ready, i don't either but happened.
he's worried hes going to have to sell everything and not have a life or go to any parties anymore.
How do i convince him that he can still have a life? and how do i convince him that abortion isnt the right option? how can i make him see that there is a life, part of him inside me and we shouldn't kill it just because we made a mistake?

It honestly doesn't matter what his parents think you should do. It is not their child.

It's yours. So you chose what you want to do. I mean, I never condone abortion, but if you must, you must.

He's having a child and all he can think about is how he's not going to have a life or "go to any parties?" Gee- this kid really needs a reality check.

This situation is half his fault and half yours. So, I think the baby is half his responsibility. Him and his parents really should realize that.

I mean, sure, with most teenage pregnancies, the father just abandons the child and the mother, but it will be a lot better for your kid if that doesn't happen.

Talk to your parents and maybe have a meeting between your two families to figure out what to do. But, set some ground rules, like no yelling, no fighting, and that everyone has to hear each other out.

But, I think it's ultimately your choice.

--Jack
(17/m)

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what happens if i finger a girl and she urinates blood

She needs to see a doctor immediately.

--Jack
(17/m)

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My names Tay, I am 16 and I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. We never really had a problem till about 3 months ago. I had this friend, Nathan, and we were like bestfriends for a year. We rarley hang out, we only talk, were like each others emotional support. But my boyfriend didnt like that, and he wanted me to stop talking to him. I put up a fight, but I gave in. Nathan and I got into a fight as well, so it's not a big deal that my boyfriend, Allen, doesn't want me to talk to him.


But his exgirlfriend and him were messaging eachother on myspace. I don't like her, I'm just afraid I'll lose him to her. So I don't want him talking to her. But he continues too. Yesterday she gave him, her number and they have been texting each other, I told him to stop, and we got into a fight, mind you, yesterday was our 8 months together and we mainly fought. But during our fight he said he doesnt need my permisssion and blah blah blah.

First, it's not fair to me to have me stop talking to my ex (me and nathan dated for like a month)but when i ask him to stop talking to his, he wont. Second, it hurts me that he talks to her. I don't think he realizes that.

To top it off, a mutual friend of ours texted me and said that shes starting to like him. I don't believe everything he says, because he doesnt always tell the truth.

Thanks,
Tay

Hey Tay.

Thanks for inboxing me.

Basically the best advice I can give you is for you two to stop being so jealous of each other's friends!

He got jealous of you and your ex talking, and you were upset about that.
You are getting jealous of him and his ex talking, but it's not right for him to be upset?

You can't have it both ways.

I think you need to talk to him and tell him that both of your jealousies need to stop, because it's tearing you two apart. If you can agree to stop being jealous of who talks to who, then maybe you can move on and forget how immature you both are being.

After all, if he's going to leave you for his ex, then it wasn't meant to be anyway.

--Jack
(17/m)

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