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I'm scared to have oral sex with my boyfriend,
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for awhile and have not had any kind of sex. I am now getting more and more comfortable every time I hangout with him. We have been talking about having oral sex for awhile but im just soo nervous. How do I get passed my nerves? I need help! I have only done this once and I was drunk. He has had alot of experience and I havent had any. Maybe thats why im scared. I dont know I just need some serious help!
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Try watching a little porn to see how women give blow jobs.
They really do help.
Also, I would play with his penis, until you are comfortable playing with it. From there its a little easier to go further with it.
Instead of giving a full out blow job, start with giving a hand job and occasionally putting your mouth on him. That way you get a 'taste' for Blow jobs,(No pun intended) but you are slowly working yourself into them. Versus, going into them without feeling like you know what you are doing.
I would also explain to him, that you are a little nervous, and then he might not expect a blow job right away when you get down there.
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I don't think you sound ready. You'll know you are when you're not scared.
But there's something that concerns me. What about you receiving oral sex? Before giving it, you need to be getting it. This can't be just about his needs and his expectations.
Giving oral is more intimate than intercourse because it's totally about giving. If you're going to go down that road, you're not going to be ready until you're comfortable receiving pleasure first.
Why? Because having a sex life means you give AND take. Sex is reciprocal.
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The fact that you're scared and nervous about it tells me that you're not ready. As comfortable as you are with him doesn't matter. You know you're ready when there's absolutely no worries or inhibitions about doing it.
So, tell him you'll let him know when you're ready, because you are not from what I can tell.
And that's ok. If he can't accept that, then really it's his loss.
--Jack
(17/m)
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Like a lot of things, sex just sort of happens. It doesn't matter how long you spend planning to do it or how ready you feel, when it comes to the occasion you might just realize your not ready.
BUT...You are doing the right thing. You can't just never talk about having any kind of sex or thinking about it and then decide one night it will happen. It's great you and your boyfriend can talk about these kind of things openly but there's no rush. If your nervous, maybe you should wait a little while longer.
I don't know how old you are but just as a precaution, if your under 18 then don't. Don't even consider it. Even if you think your ready and you want to do it, just wait. It's always a worry when teens under 18 want to do anything sexual because they usually seriously regret it, and it's never a regret to wait a little longer.
I think you just need to calm down a little, maybe your afraid if you do it 'wrong' it'll affect your relationship but i think if your getting this worked up about it, you need to wait a little longer before you do it. Maybe you should wait a little longer till you feel more open with each other so you can really talk about how you both feel about these sort of things like how you feel about it.
A relationship should be fun, so just relax and enjoy yourself. If you get worried about things like sex then just wait a little longer, it wouldn't hurt. Take a deep breath and chill :)
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If you are not ready to have oral sex, then you are not ready. Or if you feel as if you are not ready then you are not ready. If you are scared/nervous, that is understandable but then you shouldn't do it. Your boyfriend should understand. If he doesn't understand, then that's something to think about. You only did it once and you were drunk, I'm guessing that if you weren't drunk you wouldn't of done it because you weren't ready or scared.
Like you say in your topic, you are scared to have oral sex with your boyfriend. If you are scared then don't do it. You might end up regretting it later. I would advise you not to have oral sex with your boyfriend since you are scared. Your boyfriend should respect your feelings and your answer.
Hope I helped
xoxo,
Brianna
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