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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
I am going to the gynecologist soon and I have a few questions:
1. I'm not sexually active, I'm just getting put on the pill for my period. But I'm almost positive I'll be sexually active 6 months to a year from now. I was wondering if I should mention that during my visit? Or just mention it during an appointment after I lose my virginity?
2. If you're not sexually active, do they prescribe to you birth control pills that arent as effective as ones given to those who ARE sexually active? Or all birth controls just as effective regardless if you're sexually active or not?
3. I am not comfortable showing my body to anyone, especially strangers (like doctors.) What is a good way to get over this feeling and feel more relaxed?
4. Is there anything I should do to prepare for my appointment? Any other tips?
Thank you for your time.
The Answer
1.) Mention it now. This is important to your gynecologist and they can give you some great advice and talk very frankly and comfortably about sex.
2.) Often if they are just perscribing birth control to help regulate your period they DO NOT PERSCRIBE A HIGH ENOUGH DOSE TO BE AN EFFECTIVE BIRTH CONTROL. Notice the caps, this is very important. You must make sure that your doctor understands you wish to be protected agianst pregnancy as well.
3.) Give yourself a really good shower and use your favorite soap or scents. It will make you feel a little better about have someone close to your body. Take deep breaths and remember that although this is very odd for you, the doctor does this everyday of thier lives! It's practically boring to them.
4.) If you are for any reason uncomfortable, just speak up. If your doctor is a male you have the right to have a female in the room while you are being examined too.
It's kinda scarry the first time or so but trust me it's easy as pie. Good luck!
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The Question
my name is Kristin im 18...i cant decide over my first true love the typical bad boy but i still care about him or another great guy thats does all the perfect things and is great to me what should i do?
The Answer
Thats not nearly enough information darling. I'd feel awful giving you advice just based on the good guy vs. bad boy sterotypes. But I will say this:
You are both old enough to realize that things are more complicated then good vs bad and young enough to have sooo many experiences ahead of you, rommantic and otherwise.
If you can't decide, don't force yourself, and don't give in to the feeling that your choices now will be written in stone without any second chances. There is no rush, take your time, learn more about both guys and let a decision come naturally to you.
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The Question
alright well there is this guy jeff who i used to date. after a bad break up we became really close friends, we told eachother everything and always laughed and had fun together. well he started talkin to my like everyday about a differant girl he liked, and honestly i didn't mind that much. i even gave him advice on rlationships, good advice. but if i said one word about a guy he always got mad and aggrivated. then one day he told me he liked me alot and would love to be my gf, so later on i asked him out. he said "i love you so much i can't stand a break up so friends with benefits???" well that was lame so i said no, just friends. then he got mad because he said i told him i liked him then asked to be just friends.... even though he did the exact same thing. well we forgave and forgot and he started talking about another girl and he asked who i would probably date because he heard that i liked some guy from my friend. i told him that i liked josh and he asked me out and i said yes.... jeff got mad and started calling me all these names and being so rude! i told him he was a selfish emotional loser... harsh but i was mad. then we forgave eachother and he said i love you i am sorry. now he is being really mean to me, always getting mad over nothing and if i get mad back he sucks up to me. so i told him that i was done with him, and we should just never talk again. after hearing him sob for a while i am beginning to think that i am the bitch? am i the mean one, or is he out of line?
p.s. im 14 f
The Answer
He is completely out of line! He has been out of line before! He will continue to behave badly!
This guy is not your friend, he is a user and he is hurting you. He is telling you whatever he feels like to keep stringing you along, when you like him, he is all into some other girl, and when you like someone else, suddenly he is a possive asshole.
Please stop doubting yourself and letting him hurt you, stop supporting him when all he does is drag you down. It is very easy for girls to get traped in these kind of relationships, remember you have every right to get mad at him when he is a jerk. He WAS being a selfish emotional jerk!
If you wont cut this guy outta your life (which I seriously think you should because he is only preventing you from dating other guys who will treat you well) at least stop taking his feelings so seriously, because he obviously has no respect for yours.
Edit after feedback: You go girl! Stay strong and take care of your good heart :D
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The Question
If i walk 1 mile a day and do about 100 crunches a day, how long till i see or feel a difference?
The Answer
I don't think it is too little or too weak. But its not a way to seriously loose weight or slim down, all you will really do is feel fitter and tighten up a bit. If you have other really unheathly eating or excerise habits, that alone wont really help you very much.
You'll probably feel the difference immediately, you'll sleep better and be sore hehe. But don't expect to see any difference in your body for two or three weeks.
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The Question
Well i broke up with my bf after we dated for 7 months i felt like i wanted to experience more things so i broke up with him.. and now im dating him again and i dunno if i rly love him in my heart i see us starting a family together but i kinda feel like i want some1 new but im not for sure.. wat should i do??
The Answer
This is a toughy to answer since you don't give your age. But my advice is to break it off. It sounds like you have just gotten comfortable with this guy but aren't truely happy. What kind of family life will you have if you are dreaming of other men?
I honestly believe you shouldn't stay in a relationship just 'cause its comfy, don't settle.
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The Question
....um ok plese no weird answers cuz i really dont kno what to do...ok...me and one of my friends took some pills...6 to be exact and when we were a lil bit high...i think you could call it that ... but she called this guy thati liked and told him i would give him head...i am 13 and female..and i dont wanna do this..i didnt wanna take the pills eather...my mom already knows cuz she read my diary....and now i am grounded and she will never trust me alone with this friend again....but what should i do> this guy moved but still comes to town alot...and i dont kno if he is still expecting it or not and i dont kno what to do...sorry htis is fo fuckin long but it as kinda hard to explain...i rate high and i really need quick answers! thanck you and bye!
The Answer
Probably not. I doubt the guy is still expecting it. Just play it cool and if he brings it up laugh it off and tell him what a jerk your friend can be sometimes.
On a completely different note. Talk to your mom. Its really sad that you two have so little trust that she reads your diary and you aren't doing anything to increase the trust or communication either.
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The Question
Alright...well for 4-H each year we have to take projects to the county fair. I need something to build for my wood shop project..does anyone have any ideas? No end tables cuz i did that last year..thanks...
The Answer
A rocking horse. They are so much fun to make and lots of people find them terribly cute. That is my opinion anyways.
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The Question
My boyfriend have been together for one year and five months. We love eachother a lot and get along really really well. When we first got together a few girls didnt like me, one because, another girl liked him and couldnt suck it up and the other couldnt give up on trying to get him to be away from me. Well its Summer now and school's out, we figured one girl moved away during school and the other would hopefully leave me alone, ( she tried to come up behind me and pull my hair so bacially tried to cheap shot me) she knows im not fat like her or tall so she could have taken me. Well they imed my boyfriend saying to tell his cunt girlfriend to stop taking shit from their aim profiles and away messages. I wasnt even online and both girls are blocked, i now know one has a new sn, because she imed me on it. So what should i do to get them to just give it up and leave me and my boyfriend alone. ( keep in mind both girls have other boyfriends)
The Answer
Stop talking them, and tell your boyfriend to stop talking to them too. Summer time is great for this cause there is no reason to see them everyday. So block them, have your boyfriend block them and refuse to talk about them to anyone cause if you do it will just get back to them and fuel the fires.
They will forget and get over it once you stop making it so much fun for them.
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The Question
18/m
My next door neighbor is this beautiful, green eyed angel to me. We spend all our time together, late nights till 5 and 6 in the morning just cutting up and looking at the stars. We share everything in common, even the lil things we love each other for. Ive known her about 4 months now and we have gotten very close, romantic settings, kissing hugging etc. Now heres the punch line .. shes 24 and married and she has her own kid.
I mean ive raised kids all my life and this is no big deal to me but I dunno what to do .. leave her to her life or start a relationship when shes divorced
The Answer
You've raised kids all your life?
Never mind.
You are having a romantic fling, both of you living in your own fantasy world. Which is grand except for the fact that is only a fantasy and there are alot of people that might get hurt.
Besides that, and the fact that what you are doing is imoral, the two of you are at very different places in life. This women is divided between you and her family, which means one of these two wont be getting the attention and support it needs.
Cut off contact untill a divorce happens, otherwise you are just the other guy and nothing more no matter what you would like to think.
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The Question
alright, this is really confusing but ill rate really high. alright, i told my friend bobby that i liked my bf garrett ALOT! so bobby asked me on a scale 1-10 how much i liked him, and i said 8. so then he was talking to garrett and he told him i only liked him a little bit. and that i gave him a 4! how dumb is that. y would he say that? so last night garrett told me that bobby said that and i was really mad. i mean i told garrett that that wasnt wat i said but i didnt tell him the REAL number. so now i think he is mad. i want to tell him wat my number really was but i dont know how to bring it up or how to say it....im so confused....HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME PLEASE!
The Answer
This is dumb game you are playing. Stop it. Tell your boyfriend you really really like and him and that is why you are dating him and stop playing with numbers, it is childish at best.
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The Question
Well let me start from the very begining. I have a sister who is older then me and she was very shy and didnt have alot of friends growing up especialy no guy friends! Well I am different and I have more guy friends then I do girls! My parents are really picky though and they dont want me to like hang out with guys especialy if its one on one. They say they cant trust me and that I wear to much make up. Well I dont wear to much and If I didnt wear makeup I wouldnt go out! because I am very self concious. Also I like guys and how the heck and I suposed to have a relationship if my parents wont let me! I mean im 14 Im going into highschool and obviously I want to date! I feel like sense my sister wasnt like me they are being way to hard on me! I mean all my friends get to hang out with guys even if parents arent home! I mean I know thats not acceptable and I wouldnt do that I always make sure parents will be there! but it seems like thats not good enough for my parents! PLEASE HELP ME! I DONT LIKE MY PARENTS THIS WAY!
The Answer
Stop trying to rush yourself or your parents into dating. Relax, and tell them you are hanging out with a friend, cause really, thats how the best relationships start.
Let it go about your sister. Your parents know each of thier kids are different but both you and your parents have to learn how to deal with the dating thing, so relax and take it slow, that will help them relax too.
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The Question
ok
ive known liam for about 3 years now and he is soo great! we are like best friends but my feelings have grown for him. hes moving away soon to live in australia. i really want to be with him. has any one got any advice on how to hint or tell him that i want to be with him?
please help me!
thanks
The Answer
You want to be with someone who is moving to australia?
If you are looking for a healthy long-term relationship this guy is probably not for you then and you are just panicing cause you are going to miss him. Which is okay and normal, but you probably shouldn't approach him about a relationship
If you just want to fool around and have some fun before he leaves, and by all means do. You'll need to suck up your fear and just ask him. Subtle hints rarely work on guys! Just tell him what you want!
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The Question
So, I went in for a second interview & the manager really liked me so I got hired for a job but no more than 30 seconds later I was fired due to the only time I could arrive for work is 45 minutes after my shift starts due to the time my school lets out & drive time to get there. I can't work on Thursdays & Fridays because of Cheerleading related things. He guarenteed me a job in January when football season is over. He told me to call him if anything changed. I was thinking of calling him because I figured I could make it about 30 minutes late instead of 45 also, I could work on weekends if I couldn't get weekday hours. Should I call?
The Answer
Don't call, it's not worth it and you might start to annoy him. Just call in him in december just before football is over and make plans, or else, look for a job you can make it too.
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The Question
I would like to find my biological mother.
She left my little sister and I when we were very little. We saw her a few times while growing up, but most of the experiences ended in not such good ways. A lot of it is tied to the problem of her not being able to just tell us shes sorry for leaving.
We exchanged words about four years ago over that issue, and have not spoken since.
I want to find her because my grandmother - her mother is going to pass away and has been asking about her. None of her kids are here for her - and I doubt she even knows whats going on.
So I am asking for advice on how to go about doing this. I tried paying money for the more popular finding people sites, and mostly to no avail.
The Answer
Talk to your grandmothers doctor, and possibly, the police. If your grandmother is leaving a will that names your mother in anyway, the police or a lawyer will be much more willing to assist you in finding her. If nothing else, I'm sure these people would be far more qualuified to recommend professional searches then most people here.
Best of luck to you and your family.
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The Question
I am a seventeen year old female and I am in love. What is the problem with this, you may ask? I shall tell you. The man I love is 7.5 years my senior (he's 25) and he lives in another continent. He says that he loves me as well, but I'm not sure how to make this relationship work. Can a 17 year old and a 25 year old really make it? Especially with him being so far away... He says he may move here in December, however, but then what? My parents would never approve and I crave their approval like I crave oxygen. I am at a loss. I don't really know what I'm asking, quite frankly, and I won't be surprised if no one replies. I suppose I'm just looking for opinions. Thanks.
The Answer
My opinion. He probably wont actually move, and if he does what does that say about him exactly? That he has no real connections in his homeland, no solid friends or family, no one he wouldn't give up for a 17 yearold he hasn't meet and who doesn't think they can make it work? Thats not only kinda pitiful, it shows a lack of relationship building skills and common sense.
You on the other hand, have parents who must love you, and a whole lot of future. But your wasting it waiting on this guy. Live in the world that actually exsist please, mourn the relationship that never really was or will be, and find more productive uses for your love and your energy.
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The Question
ok... when ever i go on vacations i meet/see really cute guys but im really shy so we barely talk. Then the day to leave comes and i get all emotional about it and i barely even know them. But im really hard on myself over it and i get mad that i didnt get any contact information and stuff. So how do i over come the shyness and get the courage to go talk to them more???
The Answer
Do you really want to invest emotionally in these guys you meet on vacation? They most likely live far away right? Go to different schools and have completely different friends too?
Enjoy vacation boys well you have em, chat 'em up, practice your newest flirting moves but don't act like one of them might be your soulmate. You want contact information? It might be easier to ask them if you realize it is not life or death situation, if they turn you down, who cares you'll probably never even see them agian anyways. This is the perfect situation! So suck it up and realize you have nothing to loose.
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The Question
Tomorrow I am going to a late audition for Cinderella. It's a musical. I have no fear of being onstage at all. The only thing that is scaring me is that I'm sick. My throat has crap all down that back of it so I have to constantly clear my throat. It was generous of Mrs.Jane to let me have a second chance to audition but my voice is far from it's best. I have been told that I can sing well, but I'm worried I will sound really bad tomorrow. Does anybody know of any way/remedy for my throat/voice? I know it's kind of stupid to ask, but I really want a part. Should I just tell Mrs.Jane that I'm sick or what? Any help or suggestions would be appreciated!
The Answer
The hot water advice is right on. Even drink a cup of tea or such before bed to get it started. Don't have any milk or dairy products before your audition cause they make the phelm worse.
I think you should tell her you are sick. Don't make a big deal of it. Just thank her for the chance and inform her that you have a throat cold but will give your all anyways.
Break a leg!
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The Question
I have another question, earlier i asked one about breaking up with my boyfriend and still likeing him and we became friends with benefits. well we were both were virgins and lost are virginities together. It was my first time so it didnt really feel to good. after he asked me if i felt good an i told him no. we did it a couple more times after that time and it still didnt really feel the best. i guess it got him angry bc he told my sister and his friends that i hate sex. is it normal to feel like that after your first time? is something wrong, what should i do?
The Answer
Yes it's totally normal for it not to feel very good the first time, or couple of times. First off because your are tight and in pain and secondly because alot of girls don't actually get off on intercourse.
It takes time for a couple to learn how to enjoy one another and have great sex, it doesn't just happen, you actually have to work at it as a couple. Don't worry though, it usually gets better with patience and practice.
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The Question
i'm 12 yrs old and 100lbs im pretty sure that thats overwight,but i want to know what you think?
i'm medium boned and very mucsular...butt in my stomack i'm fat or chubbish what do you think? i've talked to my parents and they say that its still baby-phat but i dont know....i tried to go anorexic for two weeks and i felt better but i knew that that was a stupid idea....
The Answer
The funny thing about your question is that it seems like you know just how rediculas you sound...
100 pounds is not fat at all, not at 12, not at 20 (actually at twenty it would be kinda scary) At twelve you are barely into purberty and do still have what is called baby fat.
Stop screwing with your mind! Just Eat Healthy! Your body still needs to grow. Become anorexic at this age and you will never develope breasts, butt or maybe even be able to have kids.
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The Question
You seem to be really good at this sort of a problem so I am going to ask you! lol haha ANYWAYS..there is this guy that I have liked for a couple of months now, but the thing is I really dont want to like him anymore, because its just taking away my life because all I think about is him..=( And when he went out with this one girl I got really jealous and it hurt me because I told him he should go out with her because like that one saying ( if you love someone set them free) and I did that..but it didnt help me at all and I just became kinda depressed. And the bad thing is he is in a different grade than me so next year we will be in different schools so that is going to make it even harder on me. I have tried to think of things on why i shouldnt like him but I cant think of anything! lol but yeah..what should I do.. I really hate how I am feeling now! THANKS IN ADVANCE!!! ♥♥
The Answer
Actually I think him being in a different school then you next year will be a very good thing for you! You need to let go!
Get involved in something else, a project or a team or anything that keeps your body and mind busy. It's not easy to get over someone but you are obessesing over something you never even had. Suck it up and find some better to do with your time.
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