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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
sorry this is going to be long... but i really need help!! me and this guy (we'll call him chris) have been "together" i guess you could say for about 3 months.... well last night i found out my best friend broke a truce we made a while ago... we both said we'd never smoke weed, and she did all bc she got a new bf...well i told chris about it and he ended up talkin to her online... she told him i took 6 sleeping pills earlier... (which i told her, bc i wanted her to know how i felt) (i really only took 1 tho bc i havnt slept in 4 days... im an insomniac) well chris got really upset and yelled at me about how stupid it was... (he asked about the pills and i told him 6 bc i didnt want him to tell her otherwise) so he screamed at me for bein so stupid.. and he hung up, then he told his mom about it. so now i dont think his momll let us see each otehr again... but also i dont think he wants to talk to me... i told him the truth about me only taking one pill...and he was upset hes like well why didnt you tell me before... and i was like bc i knew you would tell her and i want her to understand the way i feel... ive already apoligized to him about makin him freak out over nothing... and now he wont talk to me, so i need help, likeon what to do... what to tell him.. please help.
The Answer
This is not your best friends fault. You lied to her, exagerated so she would feel bad for you. Then you didn't even tell Chris the truth, just to keep the lie going.
You can't blame your friend, maybe she was just worried about you, or maybe she was trying to get back at you, it doesn't really matter, you started the lie and you will ALWAYS get caught up in your own lies.
No wonder Chris is mad, he probably thought you were honest. So apologise, agian and agian, and don't lie anymore for attention or you'll get the bad kind like you are right now.
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The Question
my best friend is moving to new zeland today she is 16 and really does not want to go. Her dad says she is not allowed to come back home to england till she is 18. What rights does she really have and could she come back before she # is 18.
Thanx nicki xxx
The Answer
Unless she is going to starve or be exposed to life threatning illnesses, she has no rights. She is a minor, he parents have to take care of her, if they are moving she has to move too. Maybe she will be able to move back at 18, but it is very expensive to strike out on your own without parental help, so I wouldn't hold my breath.
She will learn to live and have friends somewhere else, support her in that and realize its not the end of the world.
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The Question
i got a new gf and we have nothing in common when she calls me we like dont talk about anything so does any 1 have ideas what to talk about or any ideas how to make conversation?
The Answer
Why are you dating a girl you have nothing in common with? Is she so hot you don't care if you are tottaly bored everytime you speak to her? Wow.
Anyways, try the normal dumb things, what did you do today, read any good books, any movies, what do you think of this actress, or band, what is your favourite colour, do you socks match? Take these moments of silence as a chance to get to know the girl better.
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The Question
i'm 13 and i've never had a boyfriend!!! so.. how do i get one???
The Answer
Thirteen is not an old maid. You have oddles of time to get your heart broken. A first boyfriend is like a first kiss, you only get one and it lasts your lifetime, so don't waste it.
You are going about this backwards. Find a nice decent funny guy you want as a boyfriend and THEN try to get him as one.
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The Question
went out for 3 years. I went to flordia and one of my friends asked him out and he said yes and dumped me. I know...harsh..right?! well...we're still really good friends and him, my bf, and me went swimming bout a week ago and we ended up making out and I almost lost my virginity. He told me that we would go back out. The next day I saw him and his girlfriend making out. I asked him why and he said he was drunk yesturday(of course I didn't believe him) and that he didn't remember a thing.but he really started crying when I told him I didn't believe him. So..he said he was really sorry for what we had done and we made up and all that crap. then he said he was seriously considering goin back out with me and then his gf left and we hung out and he was laying on my lap and and holdin my hand and he kissed me (only a peck) once. Then yesturday, after our hockey game we were the only 2 people in the locker room and he turns off the lights comes towards me, grabs me and starts making out with me and takes my jacket off, unzipps and unbuttons my pant and starts to pull my shirt off and the my friend walks in. I don't know what to do?! does he like me or not? Please help!
The Answer
He's confused. And what he is doing to you is really unfair. It's not really important if he likes you, but do you really like him after he teases you, takes advantage of you, lies to you, all while cheeting on the girl he is actually seeing? Maybe he does like you, but do you want to let someone like that into your pants?
You need to have more respect for yourself then this, don't hang out with someone who takes advantage of your feelings the moment his girlfriend isn't around. You are both cheeting and thats kinda disgusting, if wont leave your bf and he wont leave his gf, then you don't like eachother that much, its just lust that is gonna get both of you into big trouble and make you feel awful about yourself.
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The Question
ok so ive been dating a guy for like 3 and a half months now and hes not too reliable always going off to race cars and leave me to hang out with his friends and so i met a guy and we have alot in common i dont want to persue a relationship with this guy just a friend ship but when i told my boyfriend he flipped and thinks other wise then i got an email from him saying"i think i am just gunna go somewhere....i dont know where, but i am going, somewhere where no one can talk to me, where i can spend some time alone. i dont know when i will be back, or if i will be back. if i am on tonight at he normal time i am on, i would consider yourself lucky" and it really made me mad i sent him an email saying how much i hated him for what hes done to me and playing with my heart like that and if hes not on by midnight were over please someone help i dont want to lose him but i feel like im stuck where i am right now plus high school is starting in a couple of weeks and i really want to get a fresh start sorry this is so long its just confusing and really complicated thanx in advance!!
The Answer
You've already decided you don't want a relationship with this guy, so don't make empty threats about it being over. It's already over
You cannot control what stupid things he says or does, just your response to them. So stop responding, stop talking to him and giving him more chances to play with your heart and threaten you.
Cut this guy off, maybe you can be friends in the future, but for now you are only hurting eachother with your silly mind games.
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The Question
ok i need some major help... there are 2 guys both are friends but i didnt know before this happen. well guy 1 we talked over the computer alot but we never really met but we go to the same school. well we started to like eachother and what not but he left on vacation. and while he was gone i had summer school and ran into a guy i use to talk to during the year guy 2. well turns out that guy 2 likes me and now we are going out. well guy 2 isnt the guy i really want to be with i think at the time i was was just caught up in the moment and said yes. like guy 2 is already saying the L word and i just dont want to get into that right now i dont even really want to be with him i want to be with guy 1 well anyway guy 1 comes back find out im with guy 2 and now everything is just messed up.. i want to break it off with guy 2 but i dont know how to tell him hes crazy about me. like for the last 6 days we have been going out we have hung out and im getting tired of it because we dont need to see eachother every day but he says we do because we are going out. everything about him just kinda annoys me. how should i break it to him.. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
The Answer
Just like that. Seriously, sparing peoples feelings just breeds confussion. Don't try to be too nice about it or else the guy wont get the message. Don't listen to his excuses or let his promises or anything make you reconsider, just stick to your guns over and over say "I'm sorry, I don't want to be with you anymore."
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The Question
my vagina is different from others...is that normal? what shud i do? tell a doctor? what? help please. & also im afraid to do stuff w/ my boyfriend cuz im afraid that after we break up he'll make fun of me for it. please and if i can talk to ny1 about this leave ur sn.
The Answer
Different how? Without a few more specifics it's hard to say. Probably best to see your doctor cause they can tell you what is in the relm of normal.
About the boyfriend, if you are afraid of him teasing you, before or after you break up. Then he is probably not the right guy to have sex with. You can't trust him to a decent human being and keep that sorta thing to himself? Then don't sleep with him.
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The Question
Im a female, and im about 5"10 and my boyfriend is only 5"7...this makes me feel uncomfortable all the time. is this weird?
The Answer
No, its normal really. The media floods us with images of happy couples where the male is taller, so we assume thats the way happy couples look. In time you'll probably get past it.
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The Question
ok so im 17/f and i just want a guy that im friends with most of the times, but sometimes we hook-up or do sexual stuff or whatever. how would i ask a guy to have this kind of relationship with me?
dont tell me that it's a bad idea or i'll get too emotionally involved or whatever because you're wrong. i really want this, but i need a way to ask a guy to do it with me.
thanks....i rate HIGH!
The Answer
In my experience that sort of relationship takes alot of talking first. You and the guy have to be totally clear on what it means. You also need to trust the guy to behave responsbly and not expose you to STDs or the such.
Seriously, take it slow when you find a guy who you think might go for this kinda relationship. Don't just talk about it once. Take a few days to think about it, plan it, use protection.
A good way to start to talk about it is to ask the guy what he thinks of sex. Is it only for marriage? Is it okay to have sex without love? Is it okay to sleep with a few people at once? This will give you a good idea whether he'd be up for what you want.
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The Question
I'm 14/f. I liked this one guy last year and things didnt really work out. But we're still really good friends and all. During last year he started liking this other girl but now he sees her as somebody totally different but he keeps askig me for advice on what to do. I just got done with talking to him on aim. Before he went he said see ya at skool or before. I said hopefully before. And he said how true. And all last year my friends said that we were going to hook up and they acted as if it already happened. Now whenever i talk to him i feel like something might happen but i'm willing to wait for it which is really weird for me. My question is, from what's happened, are we going to hook up eventually or always stay friends??? I'm confuseddd...
The Answer
I'm not a physic. I wish I was, but I'm not. I can't tell you if you'll ever hook up, but here is my advice.
Why are you waiting? As soon as he is single go for it. No where is it written that the guy must make the first move. Do you know of a movie he really wants to see? Why don't you invite him to meet you there for it?
You have control over if and when you hook up with him, so exercise it.
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The Question
i have had one boyfriend- and my parents never knew... :-/ but it was like for a few days nothing serious at all. i kinda wanna have a boyfriend, but i dunno if my parents would let me because they've said before that middle schoolers are too young for boyfriends that they should be focusing on school and yadda yadda yadda... but i get straight a's easily. and i have a ton of guy friends but i don't like any of them. but anyway back on the subject...i talked to my mom about wearing eye-liner and she was like saying i didn't need it but then i gradually started using it and now i use it all the time. so maybe they'd let me but... i don't know! i'll rate high!
The Answer
Wanting a boyfriend is going about this backwards. Whether you are too young to date or not is not the point. Find a good guy first, then worry about having a boyfriend. Don't rush into it just cause you want to have one. If you take your time and only take your chances on a guy you are really into, your parents will respect your desicion alot more and you'll have much better chance at a happy relationship.
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The Question
o.k. i have this friend kieran and well hes really nice and all but i know he likes me!!!hes asked me if i wanted 2 go 2 the movies with him and i said that i had to go to my couzins house(which i didnt) Im mean i dont want him to get the wronge idea HE IS ONLY A FRIEND i dont like him i dont hes only a friend what can i do ??????
i dont want to hurt his feelings or anything i just dont want him to get the wronge idea!!!! should i go out with him and what if he asks me if i like him??? what should i say"hey well we are only friends" its not that easy!!!!! im just so confused my friends tell me to follow my heart and well maybe thats not good enough!!!sigh
****soooo confused*****sigh
The Answer
You aren't interested in him like that. You've said it. So what is the problem? Why would you even consider going out with someone you don't like? That would just be mean to him.
Tell him you aren't interested in hanging out as anything more then friends. Yes his feelings will get hurt. But you aren't the only girl who will ever turn him down, coping with that is a life skill for girls and guys. Don't date someone out of pity. Ever.
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The Question
Sorry, this might be long, takes some explaining. Btw, I'm 16/f. I've been completely in love with a guy friend of mine for 2 years, and I stressed about how to tell him. I went to one of his closer friends, (we'll say Jake), and asked if he thought (we'll say Jon) had any feelings of that nature towards me, or if he knew that I liked him. (I wasn't that subtle about it, and he'd have to be pretty dense not to get some clue as to it.) Well Jake ended up telling Jon, and he replied that he saw us as just friends. About a week later, a friend told me that Jake was /majorly/ upset that I liked Jon, because he was totally into me. That same day, I had talked to Jon, and he said that he really did have feelings towards me, and we kind of just worked out our feelings for eachother. But Jake didn't know this and he asked me out, and after about a week of stressing how to tell him, because he's one of my best friends and I /really/ didn't want to hurt him, I finally told him that I held him in very high esteem, and I really valued his friendship, but I cared about him as just a friend.
So I thought the situation was fixed, and Jon and I have been together for about 3 months, but then Jake talked to me and told me that he was having a really hard time getting over it, and this has also ruined his friendship with Jon! Jake's friend told me that even though he appeared fine on the outside, he was starting to get really depressed, and I hate to see him like that, he's one of my best friends! And now I don't know what to do about it. Breaking up with Jon is /not/ an option, and I don't know if the situation is beyond repair, but does anyone have any suggestions?
Sorry this is so long and confusing, I'll rate high for helpful answers.
Thanks!
Nevaeh
The Answer
The sad and simple truth is that Jakes emotions are not under your control. You can't make him feel better, and because of your situation as the girl who turned him down you might not be able to help him at all.
I think the best thing to do is give him some space and let him work it out. By giving him too much attention you might just being giving him false hope and that only makes things worse. Keep your eyes and ears open for trouble but let Jake reach out to other people to help him through this.
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The Question
me and my girlfriend we are at a water park today an d we were kind of in the mood to be like naughty i guess you could say so like we didnt have sex, but i kinda slipped it in. we were in the pool. and like it barely went in, but should we really worry about her getting pregnant i mean like ive never had sex before so im kinda like ahhhh, i mean i know precum can get you pregnant please tell me if you think i should be worried or what we sould do
The Answer
Chances are very very slim. Having said that. BE CAREFUL! Giving into your urges so casually can cause big trouble. Before you actually have sex, talk about it, and make sure you both of you are protecting yourselves. And by the way, sex in a public pool is all sorts of illegal.
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The Question
okay im 14,female, i have braces,and i still suck my thumb, i need mucho help! like BAD i need tips. every time i try to stop i just can't its addicting. none of my friends know i do it. please HELP =) thanks ♥♥♥
The Answer
Carry around suckers and mints, whenever you have a craving to suck your thumb, suck on one of those insteed. Even trying sucking on ice or chewing plastic straws. That is perscisely how I stopped smoking, you just need something else to keep your mouth occupied.
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The Question
I just met this cute guy at work (lifeguarding) 3 weeks ago. He has started to wrap his arms around my waist, pull my ponytail, save me from the frogs, and just plain old flirt with me. The problem?! He has a girlfriend. Better yet, girlfriend of 6 months. Im a good person and I dont feel its right for me to continue flirting with him if I know he has someone else. But he's not the type of guy to fool around with other girls, I dont know If I should continue to have feelings for him or just forget it because he's just using me, maybe he has feelings for me tho?! ahh help! thanx! xO
The Answer
I don't understand "he's not the type of guy to fool around with other girls" That is percisely what he is doing! You are an 'other girl'!
Don't invest your feelings in a guy who is treating his current girlfriend so shabbily. Everytime he flatters you, he is insulting her. Do you really want to persue a guy who openly flirts with other girls while in a 6 month relationship?
Have some self respect and don't be 'the other girl'. Don't flirt with this selfish little boy anyore.
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The Question
I think I love my best friend, but I still kind of like this other guy. I have no idea if I love him as a close friend or more than just a friend. He has a girlfriend, but I just have no idea on how to tell him how I feel about him without becoming all nervous around him. How do I tell him, without getting butterflies in my stomack?
Confused Teen
13, female
The Answer
Do you really need to tell him, and make things awkward between him and you, and him and his girlfriend if you aren't even sure of your feelings?
My advice is to not tell him. It's not fair to dump your emotions on him while he is a relationship and you aren't sure what your feelings are. Look around for another guy, one you can be sure about, and one that is avliable.
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The Question
I've had an eating disorder for lets say longer than a year. (anorexia) I finally got over it this summer. I'm worried about school though and how my friends will react because i wasn't eating lunch all last year. Will they make a big deal out of it and will i end up starting it ALL OVER AGAIN????? I RATE HIGH
The Answer
Tell them not to make a big deal of it. And yell at anyone who does, loudly. "I am having lunch and it is none of your buisness!"
If your friends care about you, tell them you rather not make a big deal of it and they wont. If you need to yell at them or even eat your lunch somewhere else to protect your health, do it.
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The Question
Hello,well, i have a boyfriend right now.And u see i can't have one right now.and i don't know why i'm almost 16.my mom doens't care,but my dad...oh..he's like SO jealous.he doesn't even want me to have friends (boys),and do u think this is right,what i'm doing? I hardly see him,well i talk to him everyday on the phone while my dad isn't looking.BUt i don't know what to do. thankz for your help.
Brenda
The Answer
I wont weigh in on whether you are old enough to have a boyfriend. But you should be old enough to have a calm and reasonable talk with your parents. If your dad is prone to yelling or ignoring you maybe try your mom first.
You need to tell them that you don't want to sneak around but do want to hang out with this guy, (avoid using the boyfriend word, it will make them nervous) Just tell them you should be allowed to have male friends. Then ask them what they are afriad of? Maybe they just don't want you to be alone with him, maybe they don't want you out late. Anyways, this is the time to compromise so everyone is comfortable, boys will come and go all your life, but parents are forever.
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