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Triangle?
Sorry, this might be long, takes some explaining. Btw, I'm 16/f. I've been completely in love with a guy friend of mine for 2 years, and I stressed about how to tell him. I went to one of his closer friends, (we'll say Jake), and asked if he thought (we'll say Jon) had any feelings of that nature towards me, or if he knew that I liked him. (I wasn't that subtle about it, and he'd have to be pretty dense not to get some clue as to it.) Well Jake ended up telling Jon, and he replied that he saw us as just friends. About a week later, a friend told me that Jake was /majorly/ upset that I liked Jon, because he was totally into me. That same day, I had talked to Jon, and he said that he really did have feelings towards me, and we kind of just worked out our feelings for eachother. But Jake didn't know this and he asked me out, and after about a week of stressing how to tell him, because he's one of my best friends and I /really/ didn't want to hurt him, I finally told him that I held him in very high esteem, and I really valued his friendship, but I cared about him as just a friend.
So I thought the situation was fixed, and Jon and I have been together for about 3 months, but then Jake talked to me and told me that he was having a really hard time getting over it, and this has also ruined his friendship with Jon! Jake's friend told me that even though he appeared fine on the outside, he was starting to get really depressed, and I hate to see him like that, he's one of my best friends! And now I don't know what to do about it. Breaking up with Jon is /not/ an option, and I don't know if the situation is beyond repair, but does anyone have any suggestions?
Sorry this is so long and confusing, I'll rate high for helpful answers.
Thanks!
Nevaeh
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If you like Jon then Jake is just going to have to get used to it. Don't get guilted into breaking up with Jon. If Jake wanted a chance he should have said something when you first mentioned it. It might just be a case of him not wanting Jon to have you...which isn't right either. Don't listen to what others say. Jon is your priority right now. :)
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I think you're thinking way too much into this.
You and Jon are together and it's working out great for both of you, so keep it this way. It sucks that Jake can't be friends with either of you because of that, but that's his problem that you shouldn't feel guilty about at all.
So seriously, just keep going out with Jon and let Jake know you want to be friends with him but nothing more. Maybe set him up with one of your friends?
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The sad and simple truth is that Jakes emotions are not under your control. You can't make him feel better, and because of your situation as the girl who turned him down you might not be able to help him at all.
I think the best thing to do is give him some space and let him work it out. By giving him too much attention you might just being giving him false hope and that only makes things worse. Keep your eyes and ears open for trouble but let Jake reach out to other people to help him through this.
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