BIOGRAPHY:
My name is Carrie, and I just recently turned 25. I've been told that I give excellent advice, so I created this column last year with the intention of helping as many people as possible. Although I do believe I succeeded, I ultimately turned my back on this column when I discovered just how cruel and thankless some people can be. Almost one year later a lot has changed. I've gained a whole new perspective on life and the world around me. I'm much more positive, sympathetic, and willing to listen when people truly need help. So now I've decided to come back and focus my attention on the individuals who are truly in need of advice.
ADVICE:
I'm very genuine when it comes to giving advice. I try to be sympathetic to the person asking the question, but I don't ever sugar coat things. I've learned quickly that many people who ask for help don't really want advice - they want someone who will say what they want to hear. Sorry, but you're not going to get that with me. I'm not here to make friends (if a friendship happens though, yay for me!). You'll always get the truth from me whether you like it or not. While the truth may sting just a bit to begin with, it will absolutely set you free in the long run. If you want to be lied to, please seek advice from somebody else.
CONTACT INFO:
If you like my advice and have additional questions for me, click on the link right underneath this profile that says "Ask Me A Question." If you leave your follow-up question for me in my feedback, I have no way of replying to it. Please use the link. Also, I have an e-mail address where people can get in touch with me if they need to. Feel free to use it.
IMPORTANT:
This may be a hobby in some people's eyes, but I don't like it when people waste my time regardless of whatever it is I'm doing, which in this case, is providing a free service out of the kindness of my heart. So please don't ask me stupid questions, and please make an effort to type sensibly so that I can read and understand your question. I know there are a lot of young people on this site, but that's no excuse to type like you're brain dead. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation is highly appreciated with me. The more intelligent your question is, the more intelligent of a response you'll get from me.
ABOUT ME:
Here are some facts about me. I like pop music (especially Madonna). I like horror movies (especially Scream). I like to chat (on MSN). I love to write (poetry, screenplays, short stories). I love shopping (Best Buy). I'm a gamer (I'm better than a guy - Xbox 360 all the way). I have a MySpace (Click "Ask Carrie" for the link). I love my doggies (I have 2). I'm not a bitch (...well, sometimes). I love to laugh (and sometimes I pee a little when I do). It happens.
Website: Ask Carrie
E-mail: soundslikepink@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: What's that?
Age: 25
Member Since: June 10, 2007
Answers: 195
Last Update: September 13, 2008
Visitors: 17108
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16/f
I have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months today. So that makes today our "big seven month anniversary thing" lol Well, I'm here at home and he is at the lake...He swore to me that he'd be here every month on the 28th to celebrate our monthly thing. But he's not.
Today my old best friend whom I havent seen in ages wants to come over and ask me about some entertainment business stuff (we both sing) and inquire about how to get an agent and how to get his name out there. And as you have noticed, he is a guy. My boyfriend absolutely hates him...I can kind of see why, because before we became best friends, I had a little crush on him. And last summer we spent every waking moment together, he stayed over here most nights to practice duets, to learn more about vocal stuff, and to just hang out. But I dont know what to do because my boyfriend said that if he ever found out that Daniel came over to my house while we were dating he'd end it. But our relationship is strictly platonic! Throughout all those days and nights last summer, he never so much as tried to hold my hand. But he's just a really good friend and listener. I'm unsure of what to do and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated....Thanks so much! (link)
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Your boyfriend needs to get a grip. Not only does he have no right to tell you who you can and can't be friends with, but he isn't even around on a day that's very important to you. Why should he be out having fun and leaving you alone when you're not even allowed to hang out with your best friend who genuinely wants to keep you company? Also, if he threatens to end your relationship, you should be a lot more angry than you come across.
Your situation doesn't sound very fair to me, and if I were you, I would unleash my assertive side and tell HIM the way things are going to be. Tell HIM if he wants to spend an 8th month being your boyfriend, he has to pay more attention to you, be less demanding, and be more understanding of your friendship. If he can't accept your best friend, how can he accept you? It sounds like a recipe for disaster to me, and he needs to make some changes.
You have to stand up for yourself, especially in relationships. Don't lose yourself in him or in love. Be strong and do what feels right for you, and don't let anyone, especially a boy, dictate what that is. I'm really sorry you're alone on your anniversary. At least you're starting to see the kind of person he is on your 7 month anniversary and not your 7 year anniversary. Tonight, instead of celebrating your relationship, celebrate yourself.
You deserve it. :)
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14/f
my boyfriend, josh is 17.
his best friend, and my best friend, blake is also 17.
so, ive been dating my boyfriend for 3 months on the 5th of august. and i met blake about a month before josh and i started dating.
i really love my boyfriend. and he says he loves me. but i dunno if he does. sometimes. he just doesnt sound sincere. blake on teh other hand, when he says i love you. its so definate, and i KNOW i can trust him. it just seems like blake cares so much more. and it worries me sometimes.
blake lives about an hour away from me though, while josh lves liek 10 minutes away.
i hung out with blake on friday night, we held hands, and he held me. and it was so great. hes the best hugger in teh world. and although he can be a sarcastic asshole sometimes, hes still so amazing. but he doesnt know that, hes reall not confident.
josh is pretty confident, he has low-ish self esteem.
but since friday, ive been thinking about my relationship with josh. i know i love him, but i dont know if its that kind of love anymore. and i think im begining to have feelings for blake.
and it really worries me, because i dont want to do that to josh.
also, i havent seen josh in about 2 weeks, because hes in africa on a missions trip.
so that may have something to do with what im feeling.
i just really dont know what to do, and id liek an outsiders opinion.
help would be much appreciated.
thanks in advance.
(link)
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This is a very difficult and tricky situation. Not only could you lose Josh, but you could lose your friendship with Blake and Josh could lose his friendship with Blake too. What's a young girl to do?
*cue Dawson's Creek music*
I think you should do some serious consideration before you take action. You say you love Josh, but are you prepared for him to be hurt because of you? Are you prepared for him to be angry at you and try to do something mean in retaliation? Chances are, he will. Not only will you be breaking his heart, but you'll end his friendship with his best friend. That's not very thoughtful.
If you're fine with all of that, take a moment to consider Blake. You say he's your best friend, but relationships with best friends almost never end well and they almost always end. Take that into consideration as well. To start up a relationship with a friend typically means abandoning the friendship altogether. Are your feelings for him so strong that it's worth risking your friendship?
My advice is to take some time out to think about what you really want. Do you really want to be with a guy (Blake) who's moving in on his best friend's girlfriend? Is deceit a characteristic trait you want in a boyfriend? Would you appreciate being deceived if he was your boyfriend and some other girl caught his attention? Don't just assume his interest in you is causing this behavior.
If your feelings for Josh are becoming more platonic, then consider telling him and letting him down gently. Don't make this some dramatic thing where you leave him and go right into another relationship. Blake isn't going anywhere. Allow some time to pass and see if your feelings are still as strong for him as they are now. If they are, then you can pursue them if you want.
At least give Josh the respect you would want a boy to give you. Don't be holding hands with another guy and don't let another guy hold you. That's disrespectful and selfish. You can control your actions, so put them in check. Otherwise you'll end up feeling guilty or becoming jaded and karma will definitely come after you in your next relationship. Deep down, you know right from wrong, so act like it.
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my boyfriend hurt my feelings jokingly and has asked me how he can make it up to me..advice please what are some ways he can make it up to me?..possibly sexy wayss? haha kthanksbye (link)
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If he was creative enough to hurt your feelings, he needs to be creative enough to know how to make you feel better. Although I could come list many ways that he could make it up to you (presents always work - have him buy you two...and one for me for writing this), it really all depends on what he did and how you feel. If he did something big, I don't think there's going to be a quick fix. If you're really hurt, I don't think your pain can be remedied by something that would make one of us feel better if our loved ones hurt us.
Things that would work for me:
1. I'd have him take me on a shopping spree.
2. I'd make him be my sex slave for a week (maybe a month depending on what it is he did). He would have to service me and get me off, but he couldn't get off for the entire time he was my slave.
3. I'd make him write me a poem. If it sucked, I'd wrinkle it up and make him write a different one.
4. I would tell him to surprise me. He should know what would make me happy and what would make me feel better. If he doesn't, that would speak volumes to me about the relationship.
5. Did I mention a shopping spree? Make sure to buy something you love and something he hates - possibly a DVD that he has to watch with you whenever you tell him to.
Kinda harsh, huh? Maybe that's why I'm single. But then again, my feelings never get hurt. :)
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I just got out of a 2 year relationship where i was cheated on the whole entire time, so i really do not trust anyone and feel like i can ever be in love again or be in a relationship. It's been 2 months after we have broken up and i am sleeping with two different guys that i like. Sometimes it doesnt bother me because I assume the worst and that their doing the same thing, but sometimes I feel bad because they really like me and both want to be in a relationship with me, but im the worst person to be in a relationship right now, because my ex has turned me into a horrible person. I could have never seen me doing this to someone before, but it's like i dont give a shit anymore. I feel like theres no point being in a relationship because you can like more than one person. The relationship may seem perfect at first and thats all you wanna do is be around that person, but everything gets old after a while and people change. Nothing lasts forever. And that is the reason why I dont believe in love, because you can always find someone else that tempts you and makes you curious about them and then you become unfaithful. Everyone cheats and everyone lies. So right now I feel like im playing a game and part of me feels bad about doing that to those 2 guys, but the other part of me thinks...hey...im single and were not together so it doesnt matter if im sleeping with someone else. I want to know other people's opinions on this....has anyone else been in the same situation? If so...what do u think is the best thing I should do? Because I never was a trashy whore and Im still not. I just really like both these guys and I cant choose between them, and Im not even sure I want to be committed.... (link)
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It sounds like you need to take a step back from guys and take a time out. Life does not revolve around relationships and romance. Your ex cheated on you which was a horrible thing to do, but in a way you're cheating on yourself. Instead of devoting time to you and allowing yourself time to heal and grow, you jump in the sack with two other guys - completely cheating yourself out of opportunities to grow as an independent individual. Where are you in all of this? Why are you going from guy to guy?
These are some questions I think you deserve the answers to. If you can't come up with the answers on your own, I suggest you speak with a therapist or a counselor who can try to help you with this. I've known many girls who always seem to be with some guy, and those girls are completely lost as human beings. They can't function on their own and find their self worth in the approval and the attention of men. That's a sad way to live life. Life does not guarantee you a prince charming, and there's a chance you'll end up alone.
Can you handle that?
Personally, I don't think you're q trashy whore. I think you're hurt and confused, but I think you're hurting yourself far more than your ex could have hurt you. I think you should take a break and give yourself some attention. There's more to life than love. As far as sleeping with your two guy friends, I think you should be honest with them. Make sure they have all the facts or you're no better than your cheating ex. If they don't mind and you don't mind, I don't see a problem with it other than you're hurting yourself.
You're reinforcing to yourself the myth that sex and love have nothing to do with each other, which would be fine if you were sleeping with people you didn't have any attachment to, but these are guys you like. Sex should be something special, and in my opinion, the more you demean it the more you demean yourself. Honestly, since you seem to be suffering and think you're such a horrible person, I would make an appointment to talk to someone who can help you to get this problem straightened out. Please don't be ashamed to seek help.
You need to learn to be the one who comforts you. if you knew how to do that properly, you wouldn't continue to turn to others to do it for you. You say that your ex has turned you into a horrible person - I think you're giving your ex far too much power. You aren't a horrible person at all. You're just a person who's hurting and is lost and is searching for answers in all the wrong places. I really think therapy could help you out in many ways. It's time you get back in touch with your inner self and be the one who loves you most.
Good luck. Please feel free to contact me if you need anymore advice, and let me know how things turn out for you. :)
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I'm 13/f, and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with this guy, or I just like him...a lot. He's 16 though, and I just feel like I'm way too young to start anything. We never really talk or anything, but when we were at a beach, I couldn't keep my eyes off him and we always looked at each other as if we had a connection. But I'm 13! I could easily pass as 15 or 16, but I'm not interested in lying. I feel hopeless, I've never liked a guy this much, and my heart aches whenever I think about never having a chance with him. You see, I have family friends that are almost like my cousins, and we always hang out (our families) and this guy is their cousin. I can't ask him to hang out, it just doesn't work that way. I'm not even sure about what I'm feeling, and I'm not sure how I'll ever get to know him. I'm too afraid to ask him to be my myspace friend, I'm 13. 16 year olds don't like 13 year olds. It just doesn't seem to work in my mind. When you look at him, you'd first think he's only 14 or something. But he's not, he's in highschool, and I'm only going into 8th grade. When he's a senior, I'll be a freshman. But I feel like I need him inside. We don't even talk. All of us were hanging together at a waterpark and at the beach. He teased me, splashed me, and looked at me and smiled at me all the time. I don't even know how I got so many feelings for him. I think about him nonstop, and then I almost cry thinking that we'll never really be together. I just want some tips that would test if he actually likes me, and if there's no chance, a way to get him off my mind. (link)
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You seem to be very wise for a 13 year old, and as much as you probably don't want to hear it, you are too young to get yourself in this potentially dangerous situation. Thinking that you're in love with this guy is a big mistake - one that I think you're smart enough to avoid. You aren't in love with him. What you are is a developing young lady who is just discovering emotions. You're being driven by hormones and feelings that are new to you. Your body and your mind are confused, but that's normal.
This strong desire you feel for this boy is infatuation. Infatuation can feel like love, but it's not love at all. Love is not something that happens instantly. Love at first sight is a myth. Love takes time to build and develop and it's a very rare thing that occurs between two people. Many people mistake love for something else, even adults, so don't feel bad that your mind and body are playing tricks with you - that happens to everyone. The best thing you can do is use your head and be smart.
One of the biggest mistakes a girl your age can do is get herself lost in a relationship. Because you're still developing, your body will fool you into thinking you're feeling certain things (like love) and are ready for certain things (like sex), but the truth is you're not. You have to stay in control of your emotions and do what you know is right, not what you feel is right. A boy his age is likely to be just as confused as you are and is driven even more by hormones which may result in him leading you on.
Many young girls find out the truth about relationships the hard way after the damage has been done. You can't ever take your first kiss or your virginity back, so it's wise to keep it and save it for later when you have more experience to judge somebody's character. One day, you'll find someone special, so be patient. Many girls your age who're left heartbroken and used ultimately find themselves depressed. The dreams they once had and the goals they strive to achieve are no longer a priority.
It's very sad to see adolescents with such potential lose it all for an emotion that isn't even real. Like I said before, you seem like a smart girl and I hope you give what I say some thought. The feelings you have only feel so strong because you're obsessing over them. Instead of devoting time to him, devote the time to yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want to be in life. Eventually you'll think of him less and less. And one day when you're older, you can set aside time for love.
Love, unlike opportunities and success, is always around.
Good luck. :)
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okay. well me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 3 monthes now. and i kinfof want to do more than makeout but imm scared if i talk to him about it seriously he'll think im a slut and break up with me. and if i say it jokingly he obviously wont take it seriously. helpp. (link)
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Why would you want to do more with someone who you don't think is mature enough to handle talking about it? If he's going to think you're a slut because you're into him enough to want to take things to the next level or if he thinks you're not serious because you make a joke to decrease a bit of your nervousness about the situation, this guy isn't worth giving yourself to.
If I were you, I would think long and hard about going through with this because once you do it you can't undo it. Either your perception of him is off or he's got some growing up to do; either way - I think it suggests that you should wait a while. Tell him how you're feeling (be open and honest about it) and see how he reacts. Sex is a big deal and you should be wise about it.
Use your head and don't settle for anything less than the absolute best.
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I recently just asked for a pay increase at my job but havent heard anything back yet. I figured I would approach the boss again and maybe have a sit down with him. What are some things I should ask or bring up that might help my cause? any help would be apprecited (link)
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You should remind him of how long you've been with the company and make sure to bring up all of your achievements and accomplishments. Tell him how valuable you are and how much you love what you do. Let him know that you hope to have a long relationship as an employer with him and that you constantly strive to better yourself. If he says no, instead of getting angry, ask him why he came to that decision and what you can do in the future to get the raise. This will show that you have have determination and are willing to work hard for what you rightfully deserve. Good luck! :)
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how do you make them bigger ?
i've heard that if you drink milk .
ha i don't believe that at all tho . (link)
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Breasts are essentially fat pads, so if you want to make them bigger you're going to have to gain some weight. The increased weight will go to your breasts and make them larger. That's why the most voluptuous women are voluptuous especially in the chest area and thin women are virtually flat chested (there's drawbacks to every body type). Your only other option to make your breasts larger besides gaining weight is to purchase them, which can cause a lot of complications.
The natural look is much better in my opinion, and your physical appearance shouldn't be so important to you that you're willing to risk your life for it. There are things you can do to make them appear larger without actually making them larger. Some bras, such as wonder bras or push up bras, can give your bust and your confidence a boost without costing a fortune or costing you your life. Personally, I love liquid bras. They add a full cup size and are very comfortable to wear.
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Ok, i want to have sex with my bf but i dont know how to tell him im ready
can you tell me how to tell him..... (link)
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If you don't know how to approach your boyfriend about having sex, you're not ready to have sex. Trust me, you'll regret it if you go through with it because you're obviously not ready. If you were ready and comfortable enough with him to go through with this, discussing it with him wouldn't be a problem. You should save your body for a guy whom you adore - someone you can tell anything to and be yourself around. Don't sell yourself short. Please wait.
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i dont get why people are always asking questions looking for songs relating to their own situations. i mean seriously next somebodys gonna ask for a song about getting attacked by a cow in new york city. come on, if you need a song so bad WRITE ONE!
somebody explain the point of this nonsense to me (link)
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People who ask questions when the answers could be found with a little effort and research are a disgrace to this site. I've answered questions pertaining to child abuse, suicide, eating disorders, etc. The people who waste the time of us columnists who truly try to help those in need should grow up and stop being so immature and selfish. There's more to life than not knowing the lyrics to a Fall Out Boy song. :)
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is it possible to be so emotionally upset and depressed, that you physically hurt?
(link)
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Yes, one of the early symptoms of depression are flu like symptoms (muscle cramps, body aches, dizziness) which lead to a lack of energy and overall tiredness. This is why going to a doctor to get properly diagnosed is very important. Not only is this a symptom of depression, but it's also a symptom of many other problems. Assuming it's depression and telling yourself that you're depressed could actually make you depressed even if you weren't before. Be careful and don't jump to conclusions. Go to a doctor and get things checked out. More than likely, everything will be OK.
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you know the show greek on abc family. Well im pretty much in love with that show now and i missed it this week cause i was away. Do you know where i cn find the episode online or if it will be rerun before next week. I already checked abcfamily.com they only had one from 2 weeks ago
thankss (link)
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ABC Family should repeat the episode a couple times throughout this week, but ABC will repeat the episode Saturday night. ABC shows Greek and Kyle XY every Saturday night from 8pm to 10pm (Eastern).
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15/m
Okay, I've been going out with this girl for a long time and to be honest, everything is really boring between us. I feel like it's my fault that I let everything get so boring, but she's so intimidating that it's hard to make a move or try something different...
She's not really like most girls which is one of the things I like about her, but it's also a bad thing in some way because I don't know what she's thinking.
It's always the same thing: Say "I love you" when she has to leave and maybe kiss her and that's it. So I guess what I'm asking is what else can I do to keep this relationship going?
Thanks in advance. (link)
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You need to start treating this girl like she's your friend as well as your girlfriend. Do things with her - play with her, entertain her, laugh with her, let her entertain you, talk to her, let her talk to you, open up to her, etc. Love is an essential part of a relationship, but so is genuinely liking the other person. Do you like this girl at all? Are you sure you love her?
You shouldn't be intimidated by someone you love. You should be comfortable with her. It sounds like you guys are going through the motions of having a relationship but aren't actually having a relationship. A relationship should be about the little things that make up the time you spend together. You want to look back on these moments and think of them fondly. You're making memories.
So if you really do like/love this girl, you need to start acting like it. Do what you'd do for fun with your friends with her. Do what she'd do for fun with her friends with her. Do these things together and just have fun. Don't force things and just take a casual approach to it. If there's chemistry, it'll come naturally. If these continue to be boring or forced, it isn't going to work.
Good luck and contact me if you need more advice. :)
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I think I may have depression.I just always feel sad and I don't have any motivation do do anything.What are some things I can do besides seeing a doctor or something? (link)
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Signs of depression can include varying degrees of sadness, anxiety, loss of interest in normal every day activities, loss of energy, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, mood disturbances, etc. The bad news is that depression can be difficult to diagnose because many of these symptoms could be a sign of something else. The good news is that there are MANY things you can do to combat depression and overcome it.
Obviously going to a doctor is a good first step, but you don't want to do that, which is your choice. I can definitely understand why you wouldn't want to. Doctors can be scary and pushy and most will only offer up the quickest fix. However, if things become too overwhelming for you, I would recommend seeing one just to be safe. You wouldn't hesitate to go see a doctor for a physical illness (like a cold), so don't hesitate to go see a doctor for a "mental illness" (like depression).
Getting back to the things you can do to remedy how you feel, I suggest you do the following. Pay attention to what you put into your body. A proper diet is essential to how you feel. Try eliminating stimulants (such as sodas or coffee), sugar, and certain carbohydrates. Increase the amount of protein you consume and try to eat more fish. Fish is brain food and very beneficial to fight against depression. Also, make sure you're drinking the recommended amount of water each day - 8 glasses.
Increase your exercise and physical activity. When you exercise your body releases a chemical called endorphins which makes you feel good and gives you a natural high. Make sure to get the proper amount of sleep - 7 to 8 hours a night. A good night's sleep can help you to stay alert and energized throughout the day. Also, the most important things you can do is keep track of your inner dialogue. Don't say negative things to yourself such as "I'm stupid" or "life sucks." These thoughts trigger depressive feelings. You have to be positive and comforting to yourself.
Finally, as much as you might want to at the moment, don't withdraw yourself from others and isolate yourself. The desire to be alone comes from the depression and is its way of prolonging how you feel. You have to fight against it and force yourself to be around others and do the things you used to love to do. You might not enjoy it right now, but those happy and peaceful feelings will eventually all come back to you once this depression goes away. Don't give up because it always goes away, I promise you. the human spirit was made to endure anything.
Good luck and please feel free to get in touch with me if you need more help. :)
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ok so...i am completely out of ideas and frankly done trying to figure out my problem. There was a guy i dated about a year ago. We dated for a while and i really truly cared about him. We broke up after a huge misunderstanding. He was dating someone else like 2 weeks later. But we never stopped talking. He kept calling and telling me he still cared about me...We have been hanging out alot lately and he talks about us dating again but we still havent gotten back together. Any ideas on how i can move it along...or tell if he is even actually sincere about wanting to get back together?? Thanks so much! (link)
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If you want to move things along, you're going to have to be more assertive. Tell him exactly how you feel and tell him what you would like to happen. If he is being sincere about getting back together, he'll jump at the chance and probably feel lucky that you made the first move. If he's not being sincere, you might see him trying to stall things or possibly putting conditions on how things will go between the two of you.
I don't know what the misunderstanding was that broke the two of you up, but listen to your intuition. It's usually correct. If you have doubts that he's not being sincere, you may want to listen to those suspicions and figure out what's going on with you before you try to get back together with him. Even though you obviously like this guy, there's no sense being in a relationship with someone you can't trust 100%.
Good luck. :)
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Hi, this is the same girl who asked you about the "He won't be able to turn you down" comment.
This is what I didn't mention: The other guy in the car, C (lol) who is also 18...
Well here's the whole story (it's very long and may be confusing).
Both A and C are friends with my brother.
That day A and C were hanging out. My brother was at work. C called me, but I didn't hear the phone. My brother got off work 2 hours later. A called my brother and wanted to hang out. My brother was doing some stuff on the computer. Then A called him again and said that he and C were coming to pick up my brother.
They came; my brother left with them.
My brother then called and asked if I wanted to come and drive around with them. I said, "Sure."
They came and picked me up.
Well C says, "We were already [15 minutes away] but then me and A asked your brother where you were, and he said that you didn't come because you weren't invited, But we thought you would ocme anyways so that's why we didn't invite you. So we came all the way here just to pick you up."
Anyways, I apologized for not calling him back. They said they were gonna see if I wanted to hang out (earlier).
So, from that I inferred that they wanted me to come; that's why they picked up my brother.
Well, C acts like he likes me (well he makes it obvious he does, flirting and stuff...but I think that he still misses his ex-girlfriend.)
It was his idea for the dare, and he was also trying to persuade me, even though he "likes" me or whatever.
A's reaction to the dare was laughing and saying, "Yeah, do it!"
Anyways, since there's more information, can you give me opinion again? Lol.
Again, you can probably tell that I want you to say that A likes me (because C likes me but wanted me to do the dare anyways). But please give me your honest opinion again.
(link)
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My opinion really hasn't changed. I think if "A" knows that "C" likes you, chances are that since they're friends, "A" was trying to help "C" out by agreeing that they should go back and pick you up. Do you like "C"? I know you like "A," but "C" seems to be the guy you're going to have the most luck with. If you're interested, write back and give me more info about the guys. Maybe I could help you out a little bit more.
Also, are you almost 16? I know you probably don't want to hear this, but maybe you should focus your attention on guys your own age. Guys who are older are always far more intriguing, but they're also a much greater risk. It's a lot easier to get hurt by a guy that's older than you than by a guy your own age. By being with guys your own age, you'll have more things in common and you're likely to have more of the same goals.
I've known a lot of young girls who wound up with broken hearts because they fell for an older guy. He might want to go to college while you're still in HS. He might be out in the work field while you're just starting to have fun at college. He might meet someone else whose life is a little more similar to his. There's greater potential for lot to go wrong. So I would advise you to consider the 15/16 year old boy you're probably not that interested in right now. He'll make the better BF.
You seem so sweet and so eager and hopeful. You have a lot of qualities that are truly wonderful and I know one day you're going to meet someone who will see all of those things and love you for it. I don't think it'll be "A," but who knows, maybe it will be. Either way, I hope you find happiness and I hope you keep in touch because I'd love to help if I can and I'd love to know how things progress for you. Good luck and take care!
PS: Sorry for this response being so late. I got sick with a nasty cold, but I'm getting better now. Please feel free to get in contact with me if you need any further assistance. Good luck :)
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You know me by now i am user: lost_3v 3r ytim3 and here what happen...the girl that i've been crushing on for 7 years and you know the rest...
last nite i was chatting with her online and i told her that i went to my sisters house for a party and she said her roommate Jackie was trying to hook me up with her brother. i meet him and we hang out at the party and talk and played pool. that was it. and when i told my friend Jane (my crush) about it. Jane reply "i dont know if i should be happy for you or pissed off" and i reply "what?" jane reply "what you mean what?"
i didnt think of it much and i changed the subject and she was pissed off at me the whole nite she said she had to go and that was it. i said sorry to her the next day and she said oh i wasn't pissed, sorry that i sounded pissed.
was she jealous?
what do i do ?
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It seems like things are getting increasingly confusing for you. Instead of being confused and not knowing what to do, I suggest you be assertive with her and ask her how she feels. It might make the situation uncomfortable, but it's already uncomfortable for you and you deserve some peace. You have a right to know how she feels and what she's thinking because your heart is on the line. She knows this and doesn't seem to be very respectful of it.
If she's confused and is considering taking things further with you, that would explain some of her strange behavior. I would imagine that you would feel better knowing where she stands even if she doesn't know herself. With that information you could give her the time and space she needs to come to a decision, but without that information you have to guess or assume what's going on in her head and that isn't fair to you. It's time you get some answers.
From the way you explained things, it does seem like she's jealous. Maybe she thinks that you admitting you liked her meant that you were going to wait around until she figured out that she likes you back. Big mistake! You need to tell her that she needs to be upfront with you now or you're moving on. You can't wait around for her forever. You've already waited 7 years. You need to know if any part of her is interested in being more than friends.
I hope that she can come to a decision ASAP because you seem like a very nice, genuine girl with a lot to give. If you can't give it to her, you'll definitely find someone else who will appreciate having you in their life. My advice is to be more assertive and a little more aggressive. Don't force it - do it at a degree you're comfortable with. You have to stand up for yourself because sometimes no one else will. You deserve the truth now.
You shouldn't have apologized to her because you did nothing wrong. Living your life and meeting new people is what you're supposed to do. If she is uncomfortable with that, then she's going to have to get over it. You've been very patient and understanding so far. You've opened up your heart and gave her the opportunity to do the same. If she isn't interested, she has no right to get pissed at you when you meet someone else.
And you will because you're awesome.
PS: Sorry for this response being so late. I got sick with a nasty cold, but I'm getting better now. Please feel free to get in contact with me if you need any further assistance. Good luck :)
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This is from: my reply and a lil lost
username: lost_3v3rytim3
well you wanted to know how things are going with me right? Well nothing much, we still hang out with each other with our friends. We have a good time and I’m glad we are still friends.
But there are times I get annoyed by her odd body language to me that I wish she stops (sometimes)
what happen was that I was sitting on the floor with my back to the wall. She was sitting across from me reading a book as I was talking to my friend. Then all of sudden she moved herself to me and lean her body on me as she read her book.
I was starting to get annoyed and hot, (because it was a hot day) I told her to get off of me and she said "no". I ask her nicely and said "it is too hot". She sighed and said "fine you big baby".
Well I really didn’t care at the moment because I like it but I couldn’t stand it that how she has to play with my mind like that.
She try to do it again as she said to me that she wanted to lean on me because the wall was too hard.
I told her to go ahead but she didn’t.
I don’t know what she wants from me but I just want to know, dose she secretly like me back too?
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It sounds like she enjoys getting a reaction from you. Now that she knows you're interested in her, she has a little power over you that she can use to her advantage. That doesn't mean she doesn't truly like you, but it doesn't mean she does either. The two of you should have an honest talk to set things straight so you know once and for all where she stands. You don't deserve being toyed with and having all of these questions about her intentions.
I advised you before to stay friends with her, but her behavior isn't very friendly. She doesn't seem to be very considerate of your feelings, which you're trying to deal with like an adult. Friendship is a two way street, and she needs to adjust the way she's handling things. So far you've been very open and honest with her, but it seems like she's still playing games. It's about time she starts being real with you or maybe you should move on.
PS: Sorry for this response being so late. I got sick with a nasty cold, but I'm getting better now. Please feel free to get in contact with me if you need any further assistance. Good luck :)
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im: 14/f/
I fell madly in love with this boy. Oh yeah hes my Best Friend. It was at a party when he kick some guys ass for making fun of me. That night i couldn't stop thinking abot him. I never felt like that before about anyone,let alone a friend! But then the next day after school he brought me into the guys locker room and asked me out. It was so romantic(even if in a locker room!) I had thoughts racing through my head about those girls whos friendship is ruined cause of this same thing.
i took a deep breath and said "yes". then after about 3 months he broke up with me. IDK why though!
he never really spoke to me again! and he is still just saying "hi" and "whats up". thats it. he doesn't reaspond to my questions or my IM. I have called him and asked him whats wrong and he just says "nothing" and if i ask him why we broke up he says "you know why" and "him".
I have told him that i NEVER EVER cheated on him! he was my first BF!!!!
How can i get him to remember me agian? and talk to me? I REALLY NEED him right now cause i am going through a crisis and he was always there for me! HELP (link)
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You explained the beginning and the ending of your relationship, but you left out the very important middle part that explains what went wrong. I think the answer to your question lies somewhere in those 3 months you skipped over. Either you did something you shouldn't have done or your ex did something he shouldn't have done and felt it was easier to blame you for it. There's a chance that it could all be a big misunderstanding, but such a misunderstanding points to serious problems in your relationship.
It seems to me that you're either in denial about why your relationship ended or you have no idea why it ended - both options indicate a serious lack of communication in the time you two spent together. Relationships are about communication, not about the butterflies you get in your stomach or the hours you lie awake thinking about the other person. Without communication, you have no idea what the other person wants, needs, or is thinking.
The only way you can repair this is by doing what you should have done to begin with - communicate with him. Try to get him to listen to you and try to figure out together what went wrong. Tell him what's going on in your life right now and why you need his support. Unfortunately, he may not want to give it to you. Just remember, if you truly didn't do anything wrong, he's under the misconception that you did or he's hiding behind it as an excuse because he did something wrong.
Good luck. Let me know how things turn out for you. :)
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16/f i really hurt my 2 best friends very badly (emotionally). i was just recently diagnosed with schitzonfrenia, anxiety, depression and my 2 friends got involved with it. i never had a good realtionship with my family and the 2 most importnant ppl to me are my friends. they absoutly hate menow and will not speak to me. weve been best friends for like 5 years and we are together every single day all day long. its so hard to exept theyll never be my friends again. i never ment to hurt them, but they dont undertsnad im sick, but im still the same old person i always was (i havent changed, i just hurt them *not gunna say what happened*)it was bad tho. how do i deal with out them when my whole entire life revolved around them =[ please help (link)
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I've dealt with an anxiety disorder my whole life, so I know what it's like to feel out of control to the point of lashing out and hurting others. I would love to help, but unfortunately, you really haven't provided enough information for me to assist you with. I would have to know what you did to advise you on how to remedy the situation. Please feel free to email me or ask me a question personally/privately, and I'll do my best to help. If you need information on how to contact me, just read my bio. :)
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