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his best friend..
14/f
my boyfriend, josh is 17.
his best friend, and my best friend, blake is also 17.
so, ive been dating my boyfriend for 3 months on the 5th of august. and i met blake about a month before josh and i started dating.
i really love my boyfriend. and he says he loves me. but i dunno if he does. sometimes. he just doesnt sound sincere. blake on teh other hand, when he says i love you. its so definate, and i KNOW i can trust him. it just seems like blake cares so much more. and it worries me sometimes.
blake lives about an hour away from me though, while josh lves liek 10 minutes away.
i hung out with blake on friday night, we held hands, and he held me. and it was so great. hes the best hugger in teh world. and although he can be a sarcastic asshole sometimes, hes still so amazing. but he doesnt know that, hes reall not confident.
josh is pretty confident, he has low-ish self esteem.
but since friday, ive been thinking about my relationship with josh. i know i love him, but i dont know if its that kind of love anymore. and i think im begining to have feelings for blake.
and it really worries me, because i dont want to do that to josh.
also, i havent seen josh in about 2 weeks, because hes in africa on a missions trip.
so that may have something to do with what im feeling.
i just really dont know what to do, and id liek an outsiders opinion.
help would be much appreciated.
thanks in advance.
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well josh doesnt sound to much like he really "loves" you...
and blake sounds really sweet....
and it doesnt matter how far he lives if you reallly like him
but i would date blake...
but to tell you the truth...
i dont know how i woold brake it to josh...
and then go out with his best frend
maybe you shoold put an advice column for that too
well i hope my advice helps....
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If you read everything you wrote, then the choice is obvious. Choose Blake. You shouldn't stay with Josh when you have feelings for another guy, especially if your loosing your feelings for your boyfriend. Don't let me tell you who to be with though. This is your decision. Think about who you really want to be with, who you couldn't bare to lose.
Also if you stay with Josh you might regret what could have happened and what you could have had with Blake. He sounds like a great guy, and you trust him. That's very important in a relationship, it also sounds like he really cares for you.
On the other hand, you're not sure if you love your boyfriend. Love is a sure kind of thing...you don't love him. You're not even sure if he loves you and you don't trust him. Not good. Think about all of this and make a Pro-Con list for both of them. (Just kidding. I actually did that once to help me choose what guy I wanted to be with, but you don't have to.)
I believe there are different types of love. There's a difference between being in love with someone, and loving them. I honestly think from what you wrote that you would be so much happier and have a much healthier relationship with Blake. But that's just my opinion. Just make sure you're picking the right person for you! Follow your heart and your instincts. That's all I can really say.
Let me know how it turns out. I'm seriously curious to see who you pick!
::Jasmine::
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This is a very difficult and tricky situation. Not only could you lose Josh, but you could lose your friendship with Blake and Josh could lose his friendship with Blake too. What's a young girl to do?
*cue Dawson's Creek music*
I think you should do some serious consideration before you take action. You say you love Josh, but are you prepared for him to be hurt because of you? Are you prepared for him to be angry at you and try to do something mean in retaliation? Chances are, he will. Not only will you be breaking his heart, but you'll end his friendship with his best friend. That's not very thoughtful.
If you're fine with all of that, take a moment to consider Blake. You say he's your best friend, but relationships with best friends almost never end well and they almost always end. Take that into consideration as well. To start up a relationship with a friend typically means abandoning the friendship altogether. Are your feelings for him so strong that it's worth risking your friendship?
My advice is to take some time out to think about what you really want. Do you really want to be with a guy (Blake) who's moving in on his best friend's girlfriend? Is deceit a characteristic trait you want in a boyfriend? Would you appreciate being deceived if he was your boyfriend and some other girl caught his attention? Don't just assume his interest in you is causing this behavior.
If your feelings for Josh are becoming more platonic, then consider telling him and letting him down gently. Don't make this some dramatic thing where you leave him and go right into another relationship. Blake isn't going anywhere. Allow some time to pass and see if your feelings are still as strong for him as they are now. If they are, then you can pursue them if you want.
At least give Josh the respect you would want a boy to give you. Don't be holding hands with another guy and don't let another guy hold you. That's disrespectful and selfish. You can control your actions, so put them in check. Otherwise you'll end up feeling guilty or becoming jaded and karma will definitely come after you in your next relationship. Deep down, you know right from wrong, so act like it.
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Please don't make every other human being's mistake by trying to make an interpretation of what is love, and listen, older guy love hanging out with cut younger girls, because there very easy to take advantage of, but now if you honestly feel you love this josh guy, and have the actual discipline to make such a decision then dump that over confident jerk.
Edit-
Here's your reply to that,
"wow... thats really all i can say, you really interpretted that whole thing to wrong way. niether of them are the typical 17 year old assholes. so just dont make assuptions based on what you think theyre like just because of theyre age. just take that into consideration next time you give someone advice."
Well first of all you're just a stupid little arrogant, pretentious, but completely worthless little girl. There's nothing outstanding about them, and especially if you feel their is. They want to get into your pants, and that's the reason they're hanging out with a worthless minded set girl like you. Enjoy having your virginity wasted do to you emotions taking over your logic.
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