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I'm too young.
I'm 13/f, and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with this guy, or I just like him...a lot. He's 16 though, and I just feel like I'm way too young to start anything. We never really talk or anything, but when we were at a beach, I couldn't keep my eyes off him and we always looked at each other as if we had a connection. But I'm 13! I could easily pass as 15 or 16, but I'm not interested in lying. I feel hopeless, I've never liked a guy this much, and my heart aches whenever I think about never having a chance with him. You see, I have family friends that are almost like my cousins, and we always hang out (our families) and this guy is their cousin. I can't ask him to hang out, it just doesn't work that way. I'm not even sure about what I'm feeling, and I'm not sure how I'll ever get to know him. I'm too afraid to ask him to be my myspace friend, I'm 13. 16 year olds don't like 13 year olds. It just doesn't seem to work in my mind. When you look at him, you'd first think he's only 14 or something. But he's not, he's in highschool, and I'm only going into 8th grade. When he's a senior, I'll be a freshman. But I feel like I need him inside. We don't even talk. All of us were hanging together at a waterpark and at the beach. He teased me, splashed me, and looked at me and smiled at me all the time. I don't even know how I got so many feelings for him. I think about him nonstop, and then I almost cry thinking that we'll never really be together. I just want some tips that would test if he actually likes me, and if there's no chance, a way to get him off my mind.
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You seem to be very wise for a 13 year old, and as much as you probably don't want to hear it, you are too young to get yourself in this potentially dangerous situation. Thinking that you're in love with this guy is a big mistake - one that I think you're smart enough to avoid. You aren't in love with him. What you are is a developing young lady who is just discovering emotions. You're being driven by hormones and feelings that are new to you. Your body and your mind are confused, but that's normal.
This strong desire you feel for this boy is infatuation. Infatuation can feel like love, but it's not love at all. Love is not something that happens instantly. Love at first sight is a myth. Love takes time to build and develop and it's a very rare thing that occurs between two people. Many people mistake love for something else, even adults, so don't feel bad that your mind and body are playing tricks with you - that happens to everyone. The best thing you can do is use your head and be smart.
One of the biggest mistakes a girl your age can do is get herself lost in a relationship. Because you're still developing, your body will fool you into thinking you're feeling certain things (like love) and are ready for certain things (like sex), but the truth is you're not. You have to stay in control of your emotions and do what you know is right, not what you feel is right. A boy his age is likely to be just as confused as you are and is driven even more by hormones which may result in him leading you on.
Many young girls find out the truth about relationships the hard way after the damage has been done. You can't ever take your first kiss or your virginity back, so it's wise to keep it and save it for later when you have more experience to judge somebody's character. One day, you'll find someone special, so be patient. Many girls your age who're left heartbroken and used ultimately find themselves depressed. The dreams they once had and the goals they strive to achieve are no longer a priority.
It's very sad to see adolescents with such potential lose it all for an emotion that isn't even real. Like I said before, you seem like a smart girl and I hope you give what I say some thought. The feelings you have only feel so strong because you're obsessing over them. Instead of devoting time to him, devote the time to yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want to be in life. Eventually you'll think of him less and less. And one day when you're older, you can set aside time for love.
Love, unlike opportunities and success, is always around.
Good luck. :)
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Well, no one has control over their feeling i'm afraid. But you can try to be friends, and maybe once you get to know him, it might change your mind, you might findout he's not your type, or what you would want in a guy.
its hard to get rid of your feelings just like that, it will take time.
try talking to him as a friend and see if it works out.
but good luck, i'm sorry i couldn't be too much of a help.
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