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Q: Hey guys...well my dad is really mean to me sometimes and I'm really tired of it. He'll be nice to me one minute and a total grouch to me the next. What should I do? I'll rate 5's to GOOD answers!

I'm 14/f

He might be under stress. Maybe try asking him what's wrong, and once he talks it out with you he'll feel a lot better and be nicer to you. If that's not the case, calmly explain to him that you don't think it's fair that he's being mean to you when you don't think you have done anything. Who knows? Maybe it's a complete misunderstanding and you did something that he thought was mean, but it was completly unintentional. Just discuss it calmly and you should be able to sort things out.

Q: Ok, I think the name of the song is called Helana..Does anyone know a code I can get for the song NOT the video!Also, it has to work on myspace.
Thanks!

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=music_galore

Just press ctrl f and type in "My Chemical Romance" and then click on the link, it should bring up a website with a list of songs on it, right click where it says "Helena" and go to properties, then copy the URL and insert it into your code for myspace.

Q: I am a mother of four and none of my children will eat vegetables or fruit. The oldest is 13 and the youngest 7. I fed them vegetables and fruit in baby food as yound children, but they just don't like it now. I was the same as a child and so I didn't push them. However, while they're not unhealthy, I'd like them to start eating at least a bit more healthily, what with all this stuff going around about overweight kids and cholestrol, etc etc etc. So, my question is: does anyone have any recipies or ideas to make fruit and vegetables tasty and fun?
Also, my thirteen-year-old just got braces and can't eat anything hard for a few days, so I was wondering if it would be safe for to eat baby food? I know it has nothing added to it but I was just wondering if it was OK for a 13 year old to eat that and only that (obviously with drinks, and different varieties of the food) for three or four days?
Also, my friend has suggested using baby food or vegetable pureè as pasta sauces. Do you think this would work?
Thanks,
-Mum-To-Four

I never really had this problem when I was little, but I've had my fair share of picky friends. What my parents did was make a rule that we couldn't eat dessert if we didn't finish all of our other food. They will probably get full from dinner and not need dessert. Maybe try and get them to help you cook the vegetables, that way whatever they cook they will want to eat because they made it. Also, your 13 year old getting braces could actually help her with vegetables and fruits. Give her things like bananas and yogurt with fruit in it. Soft foods are usually fairly nutritious. I know baby food is soft, but I've had my fair share of friends with braces and have never heard of them eating baby food. Use what you have in front of you, pears (sliced up, she won't be able to bite into them otherwise) and steamed carrots are fairly soft. Just try and think of foods that don't involve a lot of chewing, and ask their orthodontist for any ideas, he/she probably gets that question a lot and has a list of good foods.

As for the baby food or vegetable pureé, I'm not sure. I think the vegetable pureé would work, but your kids might not be very keen on the idea of eating baby food.Many sauces come ready-made and packed with vegetables.

For a meal they have to eat packed with vegetables, try making your own soups with potatoes, carrots, celery, and tomato and some type of meat in it. They'll have to eat it because it is the only part of their dinner. It's quite filling and contains a lot of vegetables.

Q: i belive in no religion and i think i need a purpose in lif. does anyone know a good place for me to find about every religion since there is so many out there.

Some places have a Theosophical society that keeps books on all different types of religion, you can look and see if there is one around you, if not, go to a library and look at their religious section, I'm sure it's pretty big. Or you can go to local churches, temples, mosques, whatever is near you and ask for information on their religion and maybe attend a service if you are allowed to, just to see what it's like. But in any case, follow your heart, whatever you choose and if you find out there isn't a religion for you, don't get downhearted. Live your life NOW and don't always worry about the future.

Q: ok i have been going out with this guy for like 2 months and i really like him, but we havent kissed yet, should i make the first move? and he doesnt call me..what is up with that? i think he is just shy, and there is this other guy that told me he likes me and i kind of like him but i dont want to brake up with my boyrfriend for him what should i do?

Call HIM. If you want to keep up a relationship with him, you need to communicate and go out on dates. That's the downfall of most relationships, not seeing each other. After you've gone one a few dates with him, think of how you really feel. Do you like him or the other boy? Because if you like the other boy then you HAVE to break up with your boyfriend. It's very mean to go out with one person when you like someone else. That's what we call "leading someone on". So after you start hanging out with him again, reanalyze how you feel about him. It may just be that you aren't seeing enough of him to know how you feel.

Q: my mom puts me down so much and i dont know what to do anymore...like if i do sumthin shell jus say sumthin rude about it and leave it at that...nothen i do ever is good enoguh for her..all the rude things she says to me makes me cry so much and she dont even think whut she says hurts me...i try to talk to her but she never listen...my dad is even doin it now to..i dont kno whut to do ne more..help

I've had this problem before. What I do is whenever they start talking about me in a mean sense, I just leave the room. If you aren't able to do this, say, "Mom, I really don't appreciate you talking about me in that way, would you enjoy it if I did that to you?" If the problem persists, sit them both down and say that you need to talk and they need to listen because it's a big problem and then explain how they make you feel and that it's not a normal way to treat your kid.

Q: my mom is overweight, and i am not, however i want to tone my muscles an be in all around better physical condition. I wanted us to join a pilates class together, but she is afraid that's too strong of program to begin with, as we currently are not doing any sort of athletic activities. We were going to do yoga instead, and then move to pilates perhaps later...but my boyfriend said that yoga stretches your muscles and elongates them, but doesn't give you much exercise in the way we were hoping. Is this true? What should we do? all suggestions are appreciated! thanks!

Maybe try buying a yoga for weightloss dvd first and practicing it with your mom at home and see how you both like it before signing up for a class. A DVD I use, Yoga Conditioning for Weightloss, has different people representing a different level of fitness, so your mom can watch one person and you can watch another. In my experienc, it does help tone your muscles as it works entirely WITH your muscles. It's all about learning how to breathe right and relaxing and tightening your muscles at the right time. True, there is a lot of stretching involved, but it's necessary to get a healthy workout.

If you decide to join a pilates class that will help you both as well! With sports like yoga and pilates,the instructors are always focused on creating a workout suitable for YOU. They want the class to be fun and safe, but also give you a workout, so your mom should be fine in it.

Q: this is gonna seem like no big deal, but here's the thing: i think i'm ugly. i never really thought of it that much until i got to middle school...i looked at how much weight i need to lose... how ugly my eyebrows are...how my braces make my smile look like crap (actually, they don't let me smile right). the thing is that my friends say "how can you say you're ugly? i think you're pretty! not drop-ead googeous, but sooooooooo NOT ugly!" i know that girls are like that a lot, that we all look in the mirror and don't look at how pretty we are but how we need to fix hte bad stuff, but i need help on that. i don't see myself as the kind of girl a guy would like, or even how my guy friends can stand having a friend like me. i just always wonder what guys think when they see me... any way, my question is how do i see myself prettier? this may not seem like a problem, but i need to feel better to look better, but for that i need to be able to see myself better. i wanna know how my friends can see me as pretty. please don't tell me to focus on my personality because i don' see a personality when i look in a mirror. thanks to everyone just even if you don't answer it but for at least reading this huge thing!!! thanks!

Choose one thing about yourself that you like a lot. It doesn't have to be anything big, your nose, your eyes, a birthmark..anything! And whenever you start to feel ugly, think about that one thing and think of all the people who hate that about themselves! Also, check out this article from spacefem.com. It will help.

http://spacefem.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=21946

Q: A friend of mine likes my boyfriend. But she is going out with his best friend(we can call him Lee) She says she loves Lee but then tells other people she Loves my boyfriend and just likes Lee.. shes ubsessed with my boyfriend and flirts with him constantly in front of me.. how do i make her realize shes dating Lee not my boyfriend

State it bluntly. She's lying to both of them either way. If she really cares about your boyfriend (and who knows, it's entirely possible that she does!) then it's recommended that she break up with Lee because otherwise she's just lying to him about her feelings and being a jerk. And if Lee and your boyfriend are best friends, he'll be pretty mad at her for leading him on. Don't take it from the perspective of his boyfriend, but as her friend. Tell her the same thing you would tell anyone in that situation, 'if you don't have feelings for him, don't go out with him'.

If jealousy is another component, realize that your boyfriend chose YOU not her. Talk to her about how uncomfortable it makes you feel to have her flirting with him right in front of you and ask her nicely if she will stop because he's your boyfriend and you don't appreciate that in your friendship.

Q: ok..I have scoliosis and my mom says doing pilates or yoga would help..would that really work?

It could help. Pliates and yoga both work with relaxing your muscles in the right way and strengthening them properly. It probably won't make your condition a lot better, but it will stop it from getting worse because you will be more concious about your posture and won't curve your spine as much. The only thing is that pliates is a pretty strenuous workout and it might actually make your scoliosis worse, because you are lying on your back a lot.

Q: my b/f and i have been together for a month and last weekend he already had plans (he really did) then he felt guilty for not being with me then when i asked him what he was doing that day. then yesterday, i asked him what him what he was doing tomorrow (today) and he already had plans to spent the night at friends house. the excuse is legit but i really want to spend time with him. today, we would be going to see a movie with a bunch of friends so should i invite his friend too? (i know him and im alright with him going) or should i just let him go and not do anything with him? i need to know soon! thanks in advanced!

Invite his friend if you feel that it will stop your boyfriend from going. The key to every relationship is communication, and if you stop hanging out you are never going to go anywhere in your relationship. Trust me, I know this from past experience. You'll start making friends with other people and see less and less of your boyfriend. So every chance you get to do something that you think he might like, invite him. Remember, you're dating him because you want to spend MORE time with him, right?

Q: What do you do if you find yourself more and more each day, liking a guy who does not believe in God? I am a christian and I have my morals, standards and beliefs and he doesn't meet my number one standard which is believeing in God and having a relationship with him but, on the other hand, I am so drawn to him I can't help it.He's a really great guy but should we just stay friends and nothing more?

Use it as a project. Try and teach him about God while having a fun relationship. He may try and pull you down with him, but if you are strong in your faith it will give him a good impression of you. Do you have a youth group at your church? If so, bring it to him sometime and maybe he'll be able to learn about Christ in a fun atmosphere. Don't give up on him just because he's not a Christian yet. He may come around in time with your help. Who knows? God may be leading you to him for that reason!

Q: If there are any cat experts out there, I need your help! My cat has constantly been throwing up her food twice a day for almost a week! (She's not bulimic!LOL)What's wrong??? I rate 5's!

My cat has been doing that for the past 10 years. We realized it's because he thinks my dog is going to eat his food, so he rushes to eat it and then he gets sick. When we lock him in the laundry room, he knows the dog can't get in there, so he paces himself and if he does have to throw up, it's on a wood floor instead of the carpet. Do you have any other pets? That may be why. If not, she probably just has a stomach flu or something and you should take her to the vet to see if she needs any medication.

Q: well im 15 and i dated this guy about a year ago and we broke up cuz he cheated on me. well not physically but he talked to sum girl over the phone told her he loved her and mad panns to hook up with her..while we were going out.(which never actually happened)..well its been about a year...we stayed friends but not very close..and he wants to go bac out...should i try again or let him go?..he broke my heart once do u think he wll do it again? is he telling th truth that he really care...or does he just want sex? why did he wit so long?...theres so much that i dont understand..help plez

Why don't you tell him you'd rather get to know him more as a friend. The problem with your previous relationship was probably that you didn't know each other very well, so things were awkward between the two of you. That way you can judge his personality more. If he truly likes you, he'll be willing to try and get to know you more first. If he doesn't then, sorry, but he's just trying to get in your pants. Getting to know him as a close friend will help you answer all of the questions you have right now. He's the only one who knows the real answers.

Q: 16/f/Ca

I'm going to be a Senior next year, which means I need to start thinking about colleges, majors and such. Even though I've only done 1 play in my life, I was in show choir for one year, and when I was little I was always in chorus in church musicals, I really want to study theatre. When I was little I hated performing, but as I got older, I've just been more interested in the whole acting thing. I've taken an acting class (for television, not for theatre) and even though it was two hours of notes and some acting, I LOVED it. I loved learning the techniques and its something I'm interested in. I'm a shy person when you first get to know me. The second day of class we had to cry in front of the class and I was able to do it, and I loved it. That was probably one of the best moments of my life. The whole class was silent (I was the youngest one. Second to the youngest, was probably a 20 year old), watching me and when I was done, the teacher said I was the best one.
The problem is, is that I'm never in the school plays, or musicals (even though i was in show choir--singing and dancing--musicals aren't my thing, I'm more into acting) because the director picks and already has his favorites and he is so wierd in a freaky way... Anyways, even though I LOVE acting, going to movie sets (I was an extra in a movie) I haven't used my talent at all except for the little things I listed above. If I want to major in theatre, is it bad that I haven't done much yet? If I study it in college, I know that I'll most likely be very active in it (I'm a good liar--which is like acting...so I kind of have a little natural talent). I mainly want to do television/commercial. I've been to plays as well as numerous of movie/tv sets and I think I would love commercial acting better. Is it something I should go for?

Well, the performing arts is VERY competitive. Everyone wants to be that movie star walking down the red carpet during the Oscars, so you have to be fully committed to make it anywhere in that buisiness.(Musicals included) You have to take what you can get, and it seems to me like from the sound of it you may be developing a case of "tempermental actress syndrome". I suggest not being very choosey when it comes to roles you can get.

You should always try to pursue your dream,but really decide if that's what your dream is. And if it is, try to get involved in any acting oppurtunitites that come your way. Check and see if you have a community theatre doing anything, or auditions in nearby cities. Check your paper every day, and mostly just KEEP ACTING! Whenever something comes up, try out for it, no matter what it is. (Unless it's like..porn..then don't...)

Q: Hey every1,
I'm here to talk about my friend, Emma. We were eating lunch today and she started talking to me on how she thinks she's starting to loose her memory. She's 15 years old, and I know you loose your memory of old age and stuff...but she's 15 YRS OLD! Emma was telling me how she see's a friend of her's, but everytime she see's her friend, Emma can't remember her name. And Emma was telling me that it's not just that one girl...there's more ppl that she can't remember their names. Also she was telling me how she forgets what she did in the past week. She kinda remembers but it's hard for her to remember. Like she can remember what she did in 3 days ago, but a whole week she can't really remember. I asked Emma if she remembered what she did 2 weeks ago, and she couldn't remember. Is she really loosing her memory? Should we be worried? Is it really worth going to the doctor? Please answer me because I have NOO clue.
~missc~

Do you know if she's been doing drugs at all? No, seriously. One of the signs that somebody is doing drugs (I'm pretty sure it's ectasy..) is that they lose their memory.

If this is not the case, than she may not be speaking literally.(It could just be a topic for conversation, "I swear I'm losing my memory! I must be getting old...") It may not be a cause for concern, heck, I can't even remember what I did two weeks ago! But if the symptoms seem to be getting worse and she starts forgetting things earlier and earlier, then perhaps it's time she goes to the doctor.

Q: I have sung since I was about 6 or 7 years old. I have never been too bad at it but I have always lacked in confidence. I can sing fine on my own when no one is around to hear me, but when it comes to singing in front of people, I can't. My friend and I have to sing a verse from a song together for a christmas concert. My friend always has a sore throat so she is generally out of tune and she tends to start laughing. I then have to stop singing because I am too nervous to sing alone. How can I over come this fear of singing in front of people, so that if my friend laughs in the concert, I can just carry on?

Chances are, you think you're a lot worse than you are. If you were picked to do this verse, then you must have a reasonable amount of talent, and like I say in my overconfident little bubble, "Flaunt it if you got it," so...Flaunt it! Go nuts! If you really love singing then you'll be able to concentrate only on that and leave everyone else behind you. Start thinking of something like what the lyrics mean to you and then sing it to convey that emotion. Most likely, if you're concentrating hard on one aspect of the song, you won't even realize you're singing in front of people.

Trust me, this is coming from somebody who could NEVER sing loud. Even if you aren't a good singer, know that you are and it will show through. Really, confidence is everything, if you lack it people can tell and it makes the piece sound weak. So just think that you have confidence in yourself, that you're the greatest singer in the choir...and you very well may be it by the end of that song.

Q: Hey i Got a problem we have a kitten and he stays outside but i bring him in when i go to bed but my mom puts him out after i fall asleep but sometimes she forgets and he poops everywhere and mi mom swears that if he does it agian he is goin to a pound an ideas please help i love mi cat
-SaRaH-

Just explain to her that it shouldn't be the kitten's fault if she's the one who forgets to put him out. Or, maybe you should just leave him out so that you can have more control over the problem.

Q: this girl i used to be friends with, lets just call her bob, i dont like anymore. shes really annoying and really really nerdy and scary looking and has become really mean. i dont want to hang out with her anymore but she wont leave me alone! what should i do?

Well, I wouldn't exactly tell you to be blunt with her, because what you're saying here is pretty harsh, but tell her how you're feeling. Say something like, "I think we need to spend some time apart." or..as harsh as this sounds, whenever she's around you, make sure you're with another friend and ignore her and keep talking with the other friend. Eventually she should get the message.

I feel awful giving you this advice because I feel like somewhere along the line there are morals being broken, like the fact that you should give everyone a chance, but it seems as though you've done that and it just isn't working out. Just be sure that if you do talk to her, you do it nicely. Chances are, if you're getting annoyed with her, you're probably already starting to act differently toward her and she may realize this change and leave you alone.

Q: I'm a 14 yr old female and I'm having trouble on what gifts to get for guys. Girls are so easy (most of the time) to get presents for. But guys...ugh...that's a different story. lol. What kind of present would a guy want? It seems like most of my friends are guys this year, which doesn't make getting presents any easier.

And...there is this one guy that asked me out a while ago. I didn't deny him, but I told him I thought we should hang out more and see how it goes. We've been hanging out a lot now and I'm pretty sure I like him as much as he likes me now. Everyone already thinks we're going out. What kind of gift do you think I should get him?

I'm friends with a lot more guys than girls, and what I find is that they enjoy when you get them things that have to do with inside jokes you have with them. This may be a bit more difficult than just getting them all the same thing and throwing it in a bag that says "Merry Christmas" on the front, but they'll know that it comes from the heart and as mushy as that sounds, a lot of guys like that!

As for your "sort-of-boyfriend", think about what's important to him, what kinds of hobbies he has. For instance, last year I got my boyfriend a "guitar emergency kit" filled with picks and a tuner and a slide. Think of the things he's interested in and then get him little accessories to help out with whatever it is. Big gifts are nice, but it seems more personal when you get them a lot of little things.

bio

Hiya! I'm dwarp. A crazy 19 year old from Chicago with too much time on her hands.I started this column when I was about 14, I think and I keep coming back. My friends tend to come to me for advice, so I've gotten pretty good at answering most problems. I'm a crazy Greek vegetarian, and yes, I have seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It's exactly like my family, so I am really great at answering questions about insane families. I study political science and international studies and I like to learn languages. I speak English, French, German, a bit of Greek, and I'm learning Italian next semester. I've had lots of weirdo love/sex-life experiences, so I'm pretty knowledgeable in that area. Ummm.....ask me anything!
Peace!