beachhun101's advice column

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Q: I like this boy who is 4 years older than me. I am 13 years old.He has alot of respect for me and everyone else. I think he likes me. Today he gave me a heart from his fingers and was trying to hug me. He is really funny.He doesn't go with anybody.I don't know if I should go with him because of the age difference. Should I go for it or what?

i really dont think so. at 13, i dated a guy one year older than me, and even that was difficult because he was more experienced and since i was young "wanted to teach me things". he was super nice and sincere, but when i think about it, the age thing just made him seem more in control and i kinda just followed his every move. it doesnt seem like it would affect you, but you feel kinda like you ahve to follow his role and he knows more than you. especially a 4 year age difference-thts huge when your in teenage years. im sorry but i think it would be in your best interest for you to stay with your own age group. ps 18 year old goin out w/ younger could be like date rape.

Q: ok well i need a suggestion on what to use for the big pimples on my back what kind of creame should i use...and can this become worsier..please help my back is always itching and i scratch my pimples when i itch my back...

yeah i USED to have it thanks to my dermatologist. he gave my 2 prescriptions (gel/cream)...wont give out names, and 1 oral pill. (pill 2 a day, cream 2 a day) works like magic. i dont have bad acne at all, just for some reason i get more on my back than face or whatever, but a dermatologist will definetly know how to keep your skin perfectly clear. it helps a lot!

Q: Well, my problem is that my friends and a few other classmates are hurting my feelings is all... You see, (from what I have heard. Stupid people...grr.) I'm the "top" (riiiight.) in my class. My IOWA test result from last year was only an 84 percentile and it jumped to a 96 this year. I also have good grades and I get good test results. But before this guy, Robert, was the best, so they're not very used to me. So, they're jealous. I could tell because they say scathing remarks to me, scowling, etc.

My friends are doing this too. Ashley, when she sees I have a higher score than her, does this and talks back if I write something she thinks she doesn't like. (ex."You have a big ego!" She got that when my teacher was joking when Ashley wrote my name BIG on our project.Then a few weeks later, "You have a small head!" The size of my head mind you. But I say nothng yet again!But now I think, 'You're a wakling oxymoron. That
comment just contridicts the other cuz you said I have
a big head and ego, no you say I have a SMALL head...?) I'm not used to this because they never did this to me before...

My bestfriend Elise also is dong stuff like this sometimes worse. My mom thinks she won't be a very good friend in the future. Why? Because in 3rd grade I was in this program called bungalow for kids who have trouble reading. So she came up to me and said "We can't be friends, because you're in bungalow." So we broke up. I didn't have any friends except for her that time, so I was a loner. Elise, fortunately, had lots of friends like Melvi, Nathaniel, Ariel, Linda, Franz, Ryan, etc. My mom also was gone for some time to train for her work. So that continued to 4th grade and into the first weeks of 5th grade. All I really did was kick a ball alone to improve so I can play kickball. Then later we became friends again and have Melvi as a friend in 5th grade because Elise seemed sad and I came up to her and tried to cheer her up. But then, now she is reacting like this, so my mom
doesn't know if she'll be a good friend and that she seems to be spoiled.

Other classmates are doing similar- all the way back from the beginning of the year. So I decided to give them time. But they only seem to become more vicious.

I have this bad habit of keeping things bottled in. So when I explode is when I have this tight feeling in my chest- like my heart is being squeezed, and then I cry. This is unusual because I'm usually calm. So I try to write out my feelings and talking to my mom. This helps, but it won't stop them from continuing this.

I've already dropped big and VERY noticiable hints that I don't like the way they're behaving. But it seems that they forget and continue what they do before. Sometimes I think people think that some people are different and don't have feelings.. But we
do! We feel the same that they do, eat what they eat,drink how they drink, we LIVE. But I don't think they get this. It's like I'm an alien!

I had to deal with this from the beginning and I still am.

If my relationship between my friends won't last, then I don't mind being alone. Or I'll try to get new ones. And I'll be more determined to push myself to the limit and do my best acdemically and socially.

What should I do, anyway?

ok i have similar, im top 5 or higher in my class (idk) but my friends tease me about my grades, but not like stop being my friends. its hard to believe that someone would dislike you for the grades your getting. keep doing great acacademically. i do the same..bottle it up and then i burst spiratically and everyone wants to know whats up with me. they think im being mean to everyone, when im really just hurt inside. so try to tell them how you feel, and grades shouldnt be apart of it. and if they still mean, try to find some new friends that accept you. hope it works out and keep up the good work.
ps i got a 96% of my iowas too! haha...
pss-next time just make it a tad wee bit shorter please.

Q: Well recently my best freind told me that she no longer wanted to be my friend just because i wasnt pretty enough and all most everyone has to disagree with that she also told me i didnt have enough money because i could never go out to the mall movies ect.. very often cuz i never had the money. Then she wrote me a note in class today and said you dont have a good enough body to be my friend im only friends with people that weigh less than 103pounds! SO what should i do to prove to her i am a good person even though i dont have as much money to spend as she does? Should i start skipping meals to loose weight? Should i duble my gumnastics classes i mean i go once a week for 3.5 hours and its really expencive so how do i prove it to her? Please help!!!!!

Alyssa/13/f

your a great devoted friend, i can tell, but cmon. your better than skipping meals just to be her friend. she needs to get over her little pretty self (sry to say). idk why that got me mad, but you seem so sincere and nice and she doesn't deserve to have a great friend like you. weight, money, or looks should not come into play in a friendship. so what if you dont have a lot of money?...just hang out at your house. and does weight and looks really affect a relationship? dont double your gymnastics, no need to waste money unless you really love gymnastics for yourself and not for her. but if you really wanna lose weight for yourself and not to get back w/ her, just run around the block for a little bit (cheap). please realize that you can find friends that would treat you better than that. best of luck!

Q: I'm thinking about getting my hair thinned. But, I have one question. What exactly do they do?

they use thinning shears and make like "Vs" in your hair and it takes random layers out, or they use a razor and thin it out. personally i would ask if they could use the shears because ive gotten my thinned out atleast 10 times and when they used the razor-i had tons of random hairs sticking out and fly aways. If your hair is pretty straight and thick (like mine was) dont get it thinned out too much like i did because now my hairs like somewhat wavy and a little curly underneath. whatever's your preference. hope it helps!

Q: so i plug up my kodak easyshare camera into my computer, but it says there are "no pictures existing on this device" but i know there are...how can i get it to work??
*thanks

i had a camera from kodak and it was a easyshare. if you dont have a memory card and you took pictures, its on the camera not the memory. just check the camera and see if it says that the pics are on the camera or memory card. then switch to the other one and plug it in again. then the pictures should pop up. hope this helps!

Q: okay im a 13 yr old girl and well, for a while now two people have asked me if i would go out with these two guys.. One of the guys is in my grade and i talk to him all the time. and the second guy is in high school and we dont talk to each other alot. so what should i do, who should i pick?

in my opinion just a year ago i did that whole thing and ive learned that older guy i used to go w/ tried to take advantage of me being younger. i felt more pressured and i didnt get to talk to him as much as i wouldve liked to since he wasnt in my grade. i would go w/ the younger one-more time to talk, and you are both the same age so its easier in general. plus who knows what else that highschool boy is doin at his hs when your away?

Q: Okay so i like this guy and he came over tonight with 2 of my other friends. and they left early and it was just me and him alone. but he didnt even try to kiss me. How do you like you all of a sudden start making out. i mean what do you just out of no where start kissing i mean. what are some ways if your siting close to get him to kiss you.

wow sounds like me. i have this little "study group" and one of them is my ex whom i kinda like now. so my parents left and we were alone-and we wre talkin bout sexual things but we never did anything...kinda sucks huh? but anyways for advice. sounds cheesey but look into his eyes-people get the hint there. then lean in a little bit. start sitting in a tight space together so your bodies are pressed close to eachtother. also before talk about intimate stuff, like boyfriends/girlfriends. maybe mention you like him (if he already doesnt know). give him little hints by touches, words, and being close and flirty! hope it works!have fuN!

Q: where can i go to make my pictures smaller on the computer so i can put them on my myspace? i dont have paint so that wont work..

as other people said photobucket, but also i think this might work..um copy/paste your picture into micro word, and put it in a textbox and just size it that way. idk if it works for you, but ive done it w/ computer download pictures of friends!

Q: whats a good program that i can use to get rid of the viruses on my computer and make it go faster? and also to get rid of junk thanks

i have norton anti virus. it works well. also just through old documents and delete them, and other games/programs you use. make sure to delete them, not just send it to the recycle bin. also if you have a lot of music downloads-that slows down your computer,but dont delete your music cus music is very important!

Q: My friend is 13/f. She hangs out with a lot of bad kids (whores, druggies, etc) and they end to party and get baked..A LOT. Well today she went down into the room wheere everyone was gettin baked and I was like "what were you doing down there?" and shes like "I was tryin to get meghan out of there" and I was like "ok.." but I don't believe her. It seems whenever I ask her if she does something or did something she denies it. I just want her to tell me the truth. I'd rather have the truth than to her lie about that to me. So what can I say to her to make sure she tells me the truth?

tell her thts not cool, be honest w/ her cus your her friend. you could help her from ruining her childhood. tell her that if shes not telling the truth shes not a true friend. and be careful because she could get you pulled into things because you associate yourself w/ her. also what does "gettin baked" mean. i know a lot of terms...just never heard that one before. tell me in the feedback please! hopefully your friend gets help!

Q: ok this is my friends account cuz i dont have time to make my own right now...

ya know how everybody thinks that guys just wanna get down your pants and all they think about is sex? well is it normal for a girl to be like that?

and also i have this weird stretchmark things on my boobs, is this normal?

girls supposively have the same sex drive as guys, its just portrayed that guys want it more than girls. not really, i guess we hide it more. its normal for a girl to be like that, but sometimes when girls show it they get called "whore/slut"etc...also stretchmarks-try cocoa butter, rub every morning and night to prevent more. just rub it in as frequently as possible. hope this helps!

Q: does anybody know how to make destroyed jeans?! how?? plz help me...thank you so much!

i made really cute semi holes like theyre holes but w/ the strings by using a nail filer (sp?). it really works. also try using a loofa.

Q: My boyfriend just broke up with me because he said' " i dont think it will work because, you know im going into to high school & your still in middle school" because im in 8th grade and hes in 9th. Plus insead of me being in his profile now its about another girl. and im really reallly sad because i think hes cheating on me. is there anything i can do to make me feel better :( thanks. xoxo

wow that was kinda like what happened to me. same age thing. but no one broke up-it just kinda went off without us saying it officially. it really just takes time. i somewhat still kinda have a thing for him, but i think waht im really missing is having someonea always there for me at 3 am to talk to, or just someone to say i love you to me meaning it and its not family. once you get a new boyfriend or move on it will all go smoother. just remember your gonna move on to hs next year, and you can overcome this. talk to your friends, and listne to music. just remember that hes not worth your tears, and your better than him. just handle it well and dont be trashy to him cus your just not handeling it well then. and if youre goin to the same highschool eventually-come back and show him wow-i shouldnt have dumped her last year. hope this helps!

Q: ok so in 3 days i leave my dad u see him and my mom are divorced and well i visit him every summer now that the summer is almost over. well i am goin back to my mom. but i am a male so it is hard for me to say goodbye to him ever since i was little sain bye killed me but as i aged and got older it got harder. i pray to god to protect my dad so i may see him again. and i ask for me to be safe while taking the plane. and then i ask y does my heart hurt so much. now it is about 3 days till i leave here. and i am not ready to leave because at the age i am now 15 my heart needs my dad. my question is well what are some versus i can look into to help me with my heartache. and if u all would pray for me to have a safe trip and to be able to handle my heartache with passion and with out guilt cause i always feel like it is my fault. i am apodted and since i didn't know my real parents and my real dad the dad i have here is the closest thing i have and withouth him i am a lone or so it feels like
thny
monn

im really sorry about that.but feel lucky that you can see him. its not your fault, they just wanted to preserve what they had without getting worse so they divorced.i prayed for your plane ride. try gettin a quote book for strength, or encouragement. trust me, you have more people that love you and care for you than it seems. hope everything goes well.

Q: I'm on the cusp of girls sizes and junior sizes. The thing is, I don't like any of the girls styles anymore. I love the stuff at american eagle but I just can't fit into it. I can't even wear abercrombie jeans becaus I have a large butt and a small waist so the waist is always big and the butt fits. What do I do?? I found a pair of really nice tractor pants at Bloomingdales, but thats just ONE pair!!!

i have the same problem-tiny waist, lets just say a good sized butt. if the pants are big but i like em i just wear a belt to tighten the waist. or i do is get taht size and shrink em a lil bit, but then stretch out the legs so they fit perfectly. if your desperate go to a tailor and get them fixed. i found one good pair at abercrombie and i wear them a lot. the rest i got from nordstroms (i reccommend), or american eagle-but didnt fit to well. hope this helps!

Q: Is it safe to wear a tampon to sleep in? I'll probably sleep around 9 hours tonight .. I'm just not sure if that's safe (TSS). If I wear a pad, it usually leaks and gets on my shorts im wearing to bed. What should I do?

i wouldnt wear a tampon at night to be careful. try using pads with "wings" and that usually helps because it covers more, and get super maxi if it still leaks. also try not wearing your best shorts to bed just in case they get ruined. ur not supposed to wear tampons for more than 8 hours,and even though your flow is lighter at night-i still wouldnt to be safe. hope this helps!

Q: well i was wondering is all the drama from laguna beach actually real.... cause it seems to perfect ... like if it was palanned 2 be true

yeah i guess its true. but its pretty cool if it happened where i live. but guess what. when i was in laguna beach-i met stephen. he taught me how to skimboard. pretty cool huh? hes actually really nice in person. i guess laguna beach is unreal cus really that drama is so complex and so dramatic.

Q: I was walking thru the mall and a lady with a hair straightener stand stopped me and asked if she could straighten my hair to advertise her profuct. She said "this is a ceramic hair straightener that the salons use. it doens't damage your hair and it actually brings out the softness in your hair. you can get this at a salon for $200 but we're selling it here for $99." I was like WTF! 99 DOLLARS?! I loooooved the straightener though... So I was wondering whats the difference between a ceramic one and a regular one? Can you get a decent one at CVS or walmart for under say, 20 bucks?

i have thick wavy hair, and i have a ceramic straightener for $25! it works awesome. its vidal sassoon or however you spell it. i got it at walgreens. hope this help!

Q: Does anyone know any good books about like girls who are about 13 or up?

i read a ton so heres some:

*killing britney
*looking for alaska (my fave book ever)
*blue is for nightmares
*white is for magic
*silver is for secrets
*red is for remembrance
*Fever 1793
*perfect
* speak
*candy
*she said yes

hope ya like 'em!

bio

hey im here for anyone who wants good advice. i love giving advice to people-it comes naturally.i love sports!ive been through a lot so feel free to ask me anything.i love guys! i love hanging out with friends, shopping,reading, playing sports,and just being me. much love.