about

HEY!! U can call me Nikki
Im from that little water state. Im fifteen and a sophmore. I can connect with most teens and their problems but also i think older people need to be open to advice from younger minds as well..so give us a chance. =] I like helping people and giving advice is the one the best ways to help. Ask me anything, i may not always have an answer but ill try. I put in thought and time on the question being asked, something id like people to also do for me. So tell me little pieces of your life and ill see if i can try and put them back together. ;]

advice

hey..you told me to ask you for your number on your page?=]

im getting my new phone in a week =D=D

Hey u. yeah i dont mind helping you at all, but id like to talk to you on aim first to make sure thers no stalkerness attached you know.. lol. so hit me up on aim.. Pleez Me Pink < is my sn

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14/f

Ok so my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 months. It was great in the beginning like how it usually is for most people. Then you know, later its not as great but I didn't mind it after the first month. But now its kinda changing. Like we don't really talk anymore, he'll just stand by me or whatever. We don't see each other alot since we don't go to the same school. Then I'm just getting confused because he goes to another school and his friend, who are also my friend, would come up to me and say, "you better watch your guy, those girls are wow" or something like that. Then I'm thinking like, "does he still like me?" and I don't want to ask him because for one thing, I'm super shy, second, if he still says he does, it doesn't mean he is telling the truth. I'm not gullible, I don't believe half of what anyone says. Which sometimes isn't good, I know.

Now there is another side for me. Ok there is a guy at my school I think I'm starting to like, since I see him everyday its easier for me to look at him and just think these things. Hah, I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend for anything in the world. I like him so much, its just me thinking he doesn't like me. But this guy is really nice and we talk sometimes but its short. But during the whole time I'm thinking of my boyfriend, I like him so much. What am I supposed do? Am I just thinking these things about this guy because I don't see my boyfriend often? Sorry this was long and thanks for any help!

Go for the other guy. Especially if you dont believe your boyfriend or wont believe him. Itll make him distant and you guys are already distant so you dont need that. and at this age you dont need to be in a relationship where you cant be able to at least see the guy at school because you dont know what goes on at his school and what sleezy girls might be hitting on him you know. Sorry to be negative, but the positive is to go for the other guy, just take it slow. I wouldnt say break up with your boyfriend just yet but talk to the other guy and get to know him more and this isnt cheating, just casual talking. When you feel like you can hang out with him then id end it with your boyfriend because you dont know what will happen when you and the guy hangout. Ask me for any other advice.

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I'm 16f and my brother is 14. His room is next to mine. about two weeks ago I was looking for something ona a high up shelf in my room and I noticed a small hole in the wall. I looked through it but couldn't see anything. I didn't think anything about it and sorta forgot about it. Then like 5 days ago I was in my room getting ready for bed and right when I took off my bra and panties to take a shower I heard a noise right where the hole is. I was totaly wierded out and decide to check it out. The next day I went into his room and figured the hole is in his closet I went in there and saw his set up. He has a chair in there and a box of tissues (YUCK!!!!) From the hole, he can see most of my room including my bed. I was so scared since that means he's probably seen alot. I'm not a really bad girl, but I have snuck a few guys into my room when my parents were out and clothes have come off, and I do do things when I'm alone. I've had friends overnight and they've changed in my room. Now it's pretty clear I've had an audience. I'm totally pissed at my brother for doing this. Until now we get along great and I actually elt him hang out with me and friends becuase he's pretty cool. I really want to tell my parents on him but two things stop me. First my brother might turn the tables and tell my parents that I've had boys over, which they absolutely don't allow. Second, my dad has a really bad temper and is very strict. He'd probably whip my brother's ass off (I mean it, my dad still uses the belt on his bare ass if my brother doea something really wrong. 10 or fifteen stripes is pretty typical for a beating. It leaves my brother howling and he cant sit for days) and then who knows what he's do to me over the boys. I'm too embarassed to talk to my brother because he's seen so much. So I don't know what to do. I can't even cover the hole since my room was painted in this custom purple and we don't have any left. Any paint there would clash. Any advice?

big wad of gum. if your parents find it theyll think your brother did it. but you have to confront your brother. dont accuse him because things will get awkward. but be like i noticed theres a hole and that kind of creeps me out so lets cover that. And he'll act completely normal and be like oh i didnt even notice that. I wouldnt want to talk about the tissues and chair, thats gross. but definitely say something or youll never feel comfortable.

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So i lost my virginity to a real jerk who broke my heart and made me very depressed i decided a long time later that when i met the right person i would have my hymen reconstructed for a very special night i have been with this guy for almost a year and he is very special to me but now i am starting to have second thoughts about the hymen thing i asked one of my guy friends if it was a good idea and he said it was a very discusting idea and i should not do it i need opinions what do you think
thanks

why would you want to pay for that when your just going to break it again. Not telling your new guy that your already not a virgin is wrong.. and misleading cause your lying. But if you dont plan to have a lasting relationship with the guy then okay. I had no idea you could even get that reconstructed, thats just weird. Its already broken so just let it be. If you really love this new guy then youll feel completely great about when you guys do it, regardless of wether your hymen is intact.

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ive tried to put a tampon in and it just wont go in. what hole does it go in? i need help.im going on a vacation and im supposed to have my period during it and i will be going in the water and i cant use a pad how do i put tampons in?!!?
HELPPP!

lol well you cant put it up your ass. and definitely not your pee hole. so pick the one in the middle. and shove it in as hard as you can. ull be nervous but try not to be and dont try to do it slow, you have to just shove it in since its your first time. so yeah goodluck with that.

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Is there something where you can text someone and they give you advice? Like an actual person. Kind of like chacha, but chacha is always sooo formal...someone who will talk normally. Has to be in the united states so it doesnt cost me money. And no additional chargers to or whatever

thanks =D

16/f
mel

idk where you can text for advice.. but u can text me.. just ask me a question on my column

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in 14, 9th grade
ive been with my bf for 4 mnthsss and i gave him a hj
am i like, a whore? am i too young? has it been long enough going out? i mean were pretty serious. idk i think im just paranoid. i mean i know he has no stds and he truely cares about me, and i truely care about him. im like, the only girl hes been with. i only told my best friend and shes like ahh ew never do that again! and i didnt think it was bad. she never did it before so yeah idk if shes just skeeved out by the idea. so yeah, um opinions on the situation?
should i do it again? if i do, how can i do it better? ;]


thankss

ps sorry this is all over the place haaha

I would Not say your a whore. Its your personal choice what you want to do. Just make sure this guy isnt telling other guys that you gave it to him and how long and all the details. I know people who waited way less time, so compared to SUM ppl thats a while, but im not saying go faster. Just try not to rush into things so your relationship doesnt become only about sexual things.

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i been on the pill for a couple months now.. i miss my pill on saturday its now sunday i took saturdays pill and sundays pill today (sunday) tomorrow im going to have sex (unprotected) what are the chances of me getting pregnant

If your not trying to get pregnant, then try NOT having unprotected sex. If your trying to get pregnant than try again cuz if you keep taking the pill all this week and today then u wont get pregnant.

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I'm in 8th grade and I heard a lot of stuff 'bout high school. I heard about cliques (which kinda scared me) and about the work gettin harder and gettin more of it (more school work, that's impossible). So I need some trues or fakes. Are there the cliques? Is the work harder? Is there more work? Will it all be worth it? Am I gonna lose my mind on the first day? (please don't awnser that last one). Ok, 1 more question. What will high school really be like? I fu can help, then thnx. If not, then thnx anyway. Laters!

Like the last person said, it depends on the high school. Mainly it depends on the people in the school. At my school there are some obvious cliques but the rest is just like jocks,preps, gangstas, and then normal people but they dont all necesarily chill with eachother. The work gets harder depending on the class, the teacher, and how you are. For me i had certain teachers that were so easy and it was impossible not to pass. Other classes were hard because i already was not good in that subject. But naturally yes the work does get harder, like it should every year that you go up a grade. You have to balance work and fun. Definitely be outgoing and try to get in a sport or some after school activity. You want to be known and make new friends.Just be yourself and try to have fun.

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Sorry to be so blunt about it, but its beginning to piss me off. We've been dating now for over 8 months, and she seems incapable of completing the smallest tasks (like operating the ice maker on a fridge for instance) or even dealing with the smallest insignificant issues that come across the average person in everyday life. She cries all the time, and whenever i'm anywhere near her friends (whom are also my friends) she gets EXTREMELY jealous and basically pisses me off. I've never yelled at her, and i've been nothing but the kindest, sweetest boyfriend i can be, but sometimes i feel like our relationship is going nowhere, and i honestly can't see us even making it to valentines day :(

Am i crazy, or are there girls out there that are emotionally stable and don't feel like they need to make me feel that i'm prince charming every time i put ice in my glass? I just wish sometimes that i was with a girl that was a little more outgoing and less clingy. One that can just "hang out" without having to figure out what we're gonna do before coming over.

By the way. What she lacks in emotional stability, she makes up for in physical intimacy, and i feel trapped. We haven't had sex yet, and i know we both would be okay with it if we could ind somewhere other than the top of a parking garage to let it happen... but now, i'm almost afraid to be any more intimate with her than i already am, because i don't want to hurt her so badly if we break up.

Clingy and jealous.. phew.. thats tough for a guy to handle. If you really like her and want things to work than talk to her, be honest, thats the key to a relationship. Tell her that shes very clingy and gets jealous for no reason. She might be hurt by what your saying but if she likes you enough and doesnt want to drive you away she will try to act more normal. Just dont break up with her on valentines day or the day before, because thats just the worst. That would be like a slap in the face, like oh i like you so much im going to break up with you so close to valentines day. So remember her feelings at the same time. Also, dont let intimacy be the basis of your relationship, you want to like her for who she is not for what she does. If you feel like you dont love her on the inside then dont take advantage of her on the outside, but you seem to already know that. Thats good. This may seem a bit out there but its good to do some research on your horoscope signs, often you may find info that is like Oh thats true and wow that happens sometimes and itll help you find out more like how your two signs connect and why they dont connect. Just something to look into. But definitely talk to her and be honest.

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16/f
hi okay. so this is kinda long, sorry. theres this guy i like but its a pretty complicated situation. his best friend liked me for a really long time. and he keeps like getting in the way. but hes not the only problem. okay so i met this guy a few months ago. and i pretty much started liking him right when i met him. we hung out with his group of friends a lot because my best friend liked one of his friends and it was just convenient. but anyways one day we were talking and he told me that he started liking me when we first met and then i told him i felt the same way. so we like kept hanging out and stuff and figuring out if we still liked each other. anyways, we ended up going out. he asked me out right before winter break though.. and we both were going away so we didnt see each other for like a week and a half after he asked me out. during that time me and my ex started talking a little again.. hes an even longer story but we were really close, in love with each other, we liked each other for like 3 years, best frineds, etc. but yeah he distracted me from my relationship with this other guy. so basically i never really showed my boyfriend i cared about him because i was hung up on this other guy. he noticed that i wasnt showing that i cared and told me i needed to, but i couldnt do that to him while i still had feelings for another guy. so we ended up breaking up. during this time his best friend had also been complaining to my friends about how he regretted telling his friend he could go out with me, it hurt him everyday, etc. so that was another part of the reason too. but after i broke up with my boyfriend he apparently still liked me, but he acted like he didnt. and for some reason that really frusterated me.. because i still liked him but he acted like he didnt care at all. and he knew that i liked it when guys did that because it kept me interested because not to sound cocky or anything but usually its pretty easy for me to get the guy that i like. so i like a challenge. and when guys dont show me they like me i see that as a challenge. it just pisses me off so much and it makes me like them so much more. anyways, my situation now is that i need to show him i care more.. im trying but he like puts so much pressure on me to do it. he tells me hes like attracted to me but not the way i act. i think were both just used to being the one in the relationship that has the other person care so much more about them.. or at least like show it more. i have like trouble showing people i care about them sometimes. i think its just because im a more closed off person. anyways, im getting to my main problem sorry. on monday i was at his best friends house with him and my other friend. we ended up like playing truth or dare and me and my friend both hooked up with both of them. bad move, i know. i wasnt thinking at the time. then yesterday i hung out with him and his best friend. i was at his best friends house before he came though, and everything was fine. the only problem is that his best friend is like really touchy and like tries to hold my hand and cuddle with me and stuff, and i let him. another stupid move i know. but its not that the guy i like really cares about that. the problem is that his best friend thinks that i do that to make the guy i like jealous, which is not true at all. anyways, the guy i like got there and we were like cuddling or whatever and his friend ended up getting really mad at me after. people tell me his best friend doesnt like me anymore, but he asked me to hook up again and last night he asked me why i didnt like him.. like what was wrong with him. i really feel like he still has feelings for me. i know i need to tell him that he doesnt have a chance because i feel like ive been leading him to think that he might. i really like his friend now but i dont want to come between them. the guy i like is getting frusterated with me because his best friend is mad at me and because apparently im 'hard to deal with' and dont show that i care. what should i do?

Tell him exactly what you said.. that you are kind of closed off and have a hard time showing your feelings and your doing everything you can and will keep trying because you like him. Honesty is the key in a relationship. He has to meet you half way as well so tell him that. Also, you need to stop hooking up with his best friend. Just the fact that the one you like is letting you guys do that and playing those games and not saying anything really is weird, thats not a good base to a relationship. The best friend should know not to go after his bffls girl. What is that about. And isnt the best friend your friends boyfriend, everything with the best friend just needs to end and you need to tell him that you like him as a friend, there is nothing wrong with him but you like his friend and you both need to know when your crossing the friendship line.

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so im 15/f
ive only had 1 bf & we didnt really talk or do anything we didnt even offically break-up
besides that little thing, ive never done basiclly anything with a guy, like never hu, dance, or even really talk for a long period of time. i do'nt know why is it cause im shy
every guy i like we just stare at each oother and nothing happens is it cause im quiet and shy i dont get it
guys answers preferred
thanks

not a guy..but still willing to help.
Your probably just to nervous to take it to that next level..like a kiss. When you get close enough to a guy on a personal level you'll feel more comfortable, still nervous but ready. Or maybe the guy will be too nervous so you'll have to make the first move and if he likes you he'll accept it. When it comes to a hug, you can hug a guy as just a friend, it just depends on how much you guys are friends, if you barely know eachother than he'll find it strange that your hugging him and make a weird face, but usually people accept hugs when you talk to the person alot and are friends. If your close enough to that person you wont really think about giving them a hug, you'll just do it. And if you go to a dance, just be lively and dancing with your friends and have fun, someone is bound to ask you to dance or you have to take the first approach and be like hey want to dance, even if you dont know them, its just dancing so its not that serious. If they say no, their loss. Any more questions, feel free to ask me.

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14/f if that helps any...
So I wanted to put a poem on some stuff I'm gonna get her, either a scrapbook or anything. I wouldn't mind at all if it is long or short. I would really like some funny friendship ones or really deep ones that make you think. We have been friends for 7 years so I want it to mean something. I don't mind links either. Thanks!

poetryamerica has really great poems. You press on the topic you want and theres many poems. Goodluck. and this is a great idea or your friend. =]

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Kazim.

Anyone know how to pronounce that name??

I think it is pronounced.. KAH ZEEM

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My ex fiance said to me to call him when im older. We were so inlove,I don't understand why he would throw that away. Im 19 and female, he's 39, we have been together a year and a half. Is there anybody who's been in a similar situation? What can I do?

well im definitely not in this situation. But he probably just wants you to go through more in life and have more experience. You are only 19 and is almost 40. 19 year olds are still going to clubs and in college where as 40 year olds are settled down and in a whole different stage of their life. He probably wnats you to be sure of what you want first, your still young and though you were in love he might not want to take your youth away from you and make you feel so commited when you have so much time left. If i were you id explore life outside of him, like your goals and desires and other relationships whether it be on a friendly level or intimate one. Just try and keep in touch with your ex-fiance so you guys dont have a complete falling out.

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I know this isn't exactly a deep advice question but I'm stuck here. I love to read, I'm a total bookworm. I was wondering if there were any suggestions out there of a good read.
I enjoy Jodi Picoult books a lot, and I've read all of hers. I like books like that, that have plot twists and shocking endings. I also like heartbreaking stories; I know that sounds weird but I like books that have unfinished endings that leave the rest up to the readers.

Anyway, I'd really appreciate some suggestions. Thanks =]

twilight series.

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if your head tells you not to date a certain guy but your heart does what one would you chose? i don't want to hear pick your heart but take your brain with you crap either. one or the other.

I know of similiar situations. If the reasons in your head make more sense then your heart..go for your head, but if you are reallly confused then I would go with your heart because you have to take risks and you never know what could of came of it if you dont even try. Love is pain, and if that means you getting hurt in the end well at least you took a chance and seen what could come of it.

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Well. Theres this guy and omg he is just amazing. But theres one problem i like him but im really confused because i talk to him on yahoo messenger and myspace etc. and like i get along with him on there more than i do in person. We dont really talk in person. And his friends told me he's gonna ask me out on Valentines Day. But idkk. How can i start talking to him in person? Because everytime i try to he just like ignores me basicalyy.

Ok dont say "the both of us are nervous in person" that just will make things more awkward. And i dont know what kind of response he would give besides turning red. You want to start off by saying.. hey, but make it a flirty hey, like light voice and a cute smile [smile with lips and eyes] like your actually happy to see him. Then you kind of just start talking about things that are going on right then or a great thing to do is mention something that went on in your texts so that you guys acknowledge the fact that you talk via text a lot.Everyone feels more comfortable not having to talk. But even texting sometimes can be awkard because you might not have anything to talk about after saying hi so you take a long time to text back or give those lame answers such as "ok". I have the same problem though, barely talking in person but texting were like different people. I think he.ll ask me on valentines time day too. lol i say just go with the flow and try not to act to nervous because you want to be yourself and real.

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I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years...since I was fifteen. I am ashamed to say that during those three years I cheated on him twice, but I immediately regretted it and I was unhappy at the time because he wasn't treating me right. That was about a year ago and currently we are on a break and have been for a few weeks. During these few weeks I have had sex with two other guys, not thinking that we were going to be getting back together. Now that we are talking about getting back together, he feels like I am hiding something and wants me to come clean. Should I tell him everything or just part of the truth? Last time I told him I kissed someone else when we were on a break he freaked out.

If you realllyy want to get back with him then i would say dont tell him, because if i was him i wouldnt want to get back with you if you already got with 2 other guys in a few weeks, makes it seem like the relationship isnt that important and like your not willing to wait for him. So if you want honesty and guilt off your chest then by all means tell him. just know that it is a big risk and he will be hurt by that, but they say everyone hurts you at one point but it is for you to decde who is worth your pain. So if you are worth his pain then he will be able to forgive you. I hope i have lead you in some sort of direction with your decision. I wouldnt want to tell you exactly what to do, but to show you the possibilities of each. Take time to think, think about how U feel, how he will feel, and exactly how you will tell him if you do and how to do so in the complete honest but not blunt way. good luck. love is pain, pain is love , who knew pain could feel so good. =]

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16f
What are some signs that a guy likes you? Preferrably a guy you're friends with/talk to a lot in school? I've never had a boyfriend and no one's ever liked me as far as I know so I don't know this stuff too well lol.

trying to be funni, lik making sarcastic comments to you but about you. trying to show off,like talking to other people but saying all these good things about himself to impress you. Asking you your opinion on his looks, like his hair or his shirt, putting his hand on your shoulder sometimes for just no reason so you sit there lik um wtf, asking other people questions about you personally to find out more but when your not around, maybe tickling you. definitely staring and when you catch him he turns his head or moves his eyes really fast, trying to start up meaningless conversation with you, stuttering,shaking,or turning red when they are talking to you. If you seem down theyll ask you whats the matter and try to cheer you up, which could give them perfect opportunity for that shoulder touch. lol sometimes guys will make fun of you but more so in a joking way not like oh your so fat but things like repeating something you said that sounded weird or was dum in a copying voice. They might try to make things a competition like trying to beat you to the answers in class. Thats a few, but just remember it depends on the guy because depending on their personality they will take a different approach.

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