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May 4, 2011

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I asked my ex new gf if she love him and she said she really do love him! i cant stop crying because i love him and he love me too but he told me that he broke up with her! now he's locked up so i don't know what to do :'( I said i was going to let him go since she love him because when me and him was going out all these girls try to come between us and i guess i don't want her to feel the same as i did! i dont know what to do! :'(

Don't be a crazy ex-girlfriend and try to break the two of them up. If it's meant to be between you and this guy, it will happen on it's own, without any assistance from you. Just let it be, find a hobby, and allow it to be your main focus until you get over this guy. Best of luck, Jess.

well the thing is that me and my bf fool around a lot and he sometimes fingers me after he cums. he always cleans it up with a tissue paper but im scared that it may have gotten on his hand and that im pregnant now. cause ive read that one of the symtoms is sore nipples and i have that & I'm also very sleepy but that may be cause i'm quite stressed. and my period is due sometime this week, the thing is that i was sick last time i got it so it came a bit later which is why i'm not sure when I'll have it this month. but it hasnt come yet so i'm a bit scared. i'm only 17. when we have sex we always use a condom and it never ripped or anything. he also told me that nothing got on his hands but i'm not sure. ive told him to wash them but he's too lazy...
is there a chance that i may be pregnant?

First off, pregnancy is always a possibility when you're involved sexually. However, you shouldn't be so quick to assume that you are because stress can both cause a lot of symptoms of pregnancy and make you paranoid to think you have symptoms when you dont. None of us here will be able to tell you if you're pregnant or not, only a doctor could tell you that for sure. If you can't get to a doctor because of your age, then I think a store bought pregnancy test would be your best bet. You might want to wait and see if you experience any other symptoms, but don't stress because it can delay your period which will probably cause you to freak out even more. Best of luck, Jess.

So, Christmas is coming up (duh, right?) and I'm having trouble deciding what to give my boyfriend.
He doesn't like me spending a lot of money on him and usually I just make him something cute like a mix CD with some of our favorite songs or for his birthday last year I wrote him a bunch of songs.
But, we've been together for 3 years and I was thinking of maybe getting/making him something a little more.. risque so to speak. I'm a pretty sexual person, moreso than he is, but I get nervous when it comes to really expressing it. I've thought about finding a sexy game or using my body to make a sort of maze (with directions and arrows pointing at what to do). Or just making him a little booklet of coupons for him to pick what he wants to try in bed. My back up plan is a Johnny Cash t-shirt I found.

The problem lies in the fact that: one, I don't know what to get/make. And two, I don't want to end up feeling stupid if I do take a risk and do something a little more erotic.
Any help is appreciated, I suck at gift giving. :)

If you're looking to do something sexual, I'd go with the coupon book. You could make one and find ideas to fill it with via Google or you can buy one. There's tons of online stores that you can buy them from or if you have a Borders book store around you, I've seen them selling those in the sex section. I promise you won't feel stupid if you get him anything sexual, guys love sex and I haven't met a guy yet who wouldn't love his girlfriend being so forward when it comes to sex. Also, if you can find the time and a place, maybe you could plan a cozy night in front of a fire or make him his favorite dinner and then follow that with sexual stuff. Guys like romance too, and he will love any gift from you whether it be handmade, storebought, or simply time you set aside especially for him :) Best of luck, Jess.

My inner labia is bigger than my outer labia. It sticks out and looks like lips. Anyways, i have a lot of inner thigh fat. Does that have any connection to inner labia? if i loose weight will my labia shrink. also, is there any diet i can do to shrink my labia? surgery is not an option. i know that breasts shrink when women loose weight in their belly. if a woman looses weight in her thighs, does her vagina shrink with it? What is inside of a labia? puss? fat? somebody help me, Thank you:)

Everything that the person below me said. Weight loss won't change your labia, it is made of skin and tissue, not fat. You shouldn't be self concious about it either because the only men who will see it will be the ones who you feel comfortable letting them get so close to you. I'm assuming that you wouldn't let someone so judgemental get in to your pants so easily and if any guy ever says anything, he doesn't deserve to be down there anyways. I wouldn't worry about that though. Just be comfortable with who you are, because guys notice confident women. Best of luck, Jess.

I hate my name and id like an emo name cause some people at school call me emo. To help u ill tell u my name. My name is Tia. ^^

OmgihatelifesomuchTia.

Keep you name, it's unique and it's YOURS. I used to hate my name too, but when I get older I got over it. It's not about the name your given, it's about who you are. Best of luck, Jess.

hi there

So like my girlfriend will be turning 16 soon and its her first birthday in our relationship. We going out for 6 months so far and not sure what to get her as I don't want to over do it, but yet not get something too lame. I'm so lost on what to get her :( we talked briefly and she just said that I must get her something nice, like that helps...
Anyway thanks, your ideas would be appreciated.

Don't overcomplicate this. Girls are SUPER easy to shop for, so you have it pretty easy. We're so easy to shop for because as long as it's from the heart, we're going to love it. You can get her jewelry (doesn't have to be anything fancy). My boyfriend once got me a locket with a picture of us in it and I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. You could bake her some chocolate treats or uniquely decorated cookies, girls love sweets and it will make her feel special to know that you took the time to make them. If she doesn't wear much jewelry or if you don't feel comfortable baking, why not just make her a card and write her a romantic love letter inside? You don't have to be creative, she will love your attempt even if it's stick figures. The bottom line is, girls love romance. Get her anything with a heartfelt motive, and she will love it. Don't freak out too much about it, she will still enjoy that you tried no matter what :) Best of luck, Jess.

Okay this might be kind of long but there's this boy I've been looking at on facebook for about a year and one day while at school me and my friends started talking about him and I got really turned on about it and he doesn't even go to my school. So one of my friends was like she knew him so she said she would introduce us. He wrote me on facebook that day and me and him started texting. So the next day he asked me out so me and my friends went out with him. While we were out me and him started making out and then he started fingering me. It was GREAT at the moment but I felt bad because me and him were only talking for a day before I let him do that and plus he had a girlfriend. They broke up today and I think its sort of my fault because a lot of their friends were there. Am I a slut? Is it wrong that I wanted to be with him? Is it bad that me and him almost had sex? Female 14

I'm not going to call you a slut because I think people use that word too loosely nowadays, but I think you need to seriously consider what you've done. No, it isn't wrong that you wanted to be with him but the problem is that you acted on it. How would you feel if you had a boyfriend and he was doing these kinds of things with another girl? That's a terrible thing to put someone through. It's his fault too, of course, for pursuing this kind of relationship with you when he had a girlfriend. So, you are BOTH in the wrong, and I hope that you never do something like this again...being cheated on is one of the worst experiences out there, and I hate seeing so many young men and women doing it. Also, if you try to have a relationship with this guy, who's to say he won't cheat on you? He's done it once and you know what they say; once a cheater, always a cheater. I recommend you find a nice, good, SINGLE guy to go after that will respect you and any boundaries you have for yourself. Best of luck, Jess.

17/f

i just wanted to know if this would be considered rape. so heres the story.

i was at a new year's party last year. i was with my best guy friend. i drank and smoked a blunt with him. i got drunk and high but he didn't. we went to the beach to go swimming, i took off my clothes except for bra and undies, he took off everything but his boxers. i don't know how ALL of my clothes came off or telling him it was okay for him to take my virginity. it was almost as if i blacked out for a little while, when i opened my eyes i felt the worst pain i've ever felt although i wasn't sure what was going on. he asked if i wanted him to stop, i still didn't know what was happening and i replied no. very shortly after i realized what was happening and i told him to stop and he did. i was a virgin and he wasn't. i wonder if this is rape because i never gave him permission from the beginning. i know he definately took advantage of me after being drunk and high and nowhere near my right mind.

thank you

No, it wouldn't. I'm sorry about what happened, but you put yourself in that position by smoking and drinking in the first place. And to be fair to him, he did stop when you told him to. When you drink and smoke, your judgement becomes impaired, as I'm sure you already know, so things like this happen. You don't remember what happened, so for all you know you could have been the one to initiate it. Anyways, it's too fuzzy but from what you've said I wouldn't consider it rape. These are just the consequences you have to realize can occur when you do things like drink and smoke and put yourself in these positions. Best of luck, Jess.

It's plain and simple. I am a young teen girl and for Christmas, I really want my OWN puppy, but I donno if my parents will let me. We already have 2 dogs and i love them both, but i think i want my own too. But I alwaays lose things so my parents dont think I am responcible.
Please help me! How am I going to show my parents I would be a great dog owner?!

Well, you said you already have 2 dogs, so why not help out more with them? Offer to walk them, play with them, feed them, anything that will show your parents that you are willing to take care of another dog. Goodluck!

16/f

So this is probably gonna be long...
Well I have a boyfriend of almost 2 months. We really like each other and all that. We were friends for about 2 years before we decided to date. He is my age.

Then there is this guy who I've also been friends with for 2 years. He's 18 and we liked each other. But we decided nothing to happen since he's going to college. He'll be coming home for breaks and all that and I'm gonna go to the same college as he is, not because he is going there, it's just always been the plan. Don't know why any of this matters..but yeah. I've had a crush on him for over a year. I liked him more than my ex boyfriend of 10 months. We told each other we liked each other and all that and he'd call me and you know, we were really good friends. We talked about future and us and all that.
I'm also best friends with his sister so I'm always at her house. She's totally cool that we like each other and all that.

Well last week during our break I was at their house. His sister had to leave and only he and his mom was home and it was like 1am. We were texting and then he asked if he could come in there when his mom fell asleep. I knew something was gonna happen. I knew I would be cheating on my bf but I thought about it, I liked him for so long and he's finally into me and I didn't want to let it go. So we just made out.

Ok, yeah, I admit it was wrong but I can't take it back. I'm not planning on telling my bf either. I'm not one to cheat on someone, I've never done it before obviously but in all honesty, this guy would be the only guy I'd ever do that with.
So I realized that it was a mistake. I still like my boyfriend and have little feelings for my friend.
Mostly because my friend likes another girl that I'm sorta friends with. I mean it hurt because I had just made out with him a few weeks ago and then I find out he also likes her. I'm not jealous, I just feel a bit used. He told me he wouldn't use me and he didn't. He said he still likes me. I believe it but it just brought me to thinking that I'm not as good as the other girl and he'd rather be with her than me. They're the same age too. I just hate the feeling of being compared to her. It'd be hypocritical of me to be mad that he likes someone else because of course I'm with someone else. That's not the case though. I'm just confused.

I'm not quite sure what my question is and I spent all night crying over this situation so I basically just vented and I need someone to help me out or give me some advice. Also does this make me a bad person? I feel the guilt but I can't take it back..
Thanks so much!

Good plan on not telling your boyfriend. You obviously aren't planning on continously cheating on him so telling him would only hurt him, and you don't want that to happen. So I think you're a good person for sparing his feelings :) as far as the cheating goes, you're only human. You seem pretty logical about this, you thought about it, and you feel guilt for it, and you know that the guilt is the consequence of cheating. So you learned from your mistake and that's always good. For the other issue, about the guy liking another girl, don't sweat it. It doesn't make her better then you in any way, shape, or form. We all are attracted to very general qualities and you 2 probably share a lot in common. It sounds to me like he thinks liking this girl might just be more conveniant for him. Which, of course, isn't even up to you, much less your 'fault'. So overall, it's ok to feel guilty, but you can't really do much about that...it will fade over time. You shouldn't compare yourself to this other girl, you like to boys and he likes 2 girls, you and this other girl. So you should understand how it's not about choosing one over the other, it's just about liking people's qualities. And, above all, you are definitely not a bad person. You made a mistake, you learned from it, and you're trying to make it right by not doing it again. So you sound like a pretty good person to me :)

Goodluck! -jess 16/f

16/f

so this is a really odd question.
but my pupils are really big. i get asked if i have drugs in my system or if im "playful". well i was wondering if this is normal or if there is more to it. does big pupils really mean that someone is excited?

Wow, I have the exact same thing. I didn't know other people had this too lol but yeah I'm sure it's normal...pupil size just depends on how your eyes percieve lightness and darkness and since everyone is different, our eyes probably just percieve it differently. That's the best explanation I can give you so I hope I helped :)

20 female.

So before I started having sex I thought, "I'm not going to be one of those girls that moans ..I just can't see myself doing that."

But then the first time I had sex, I moaned like crazy. It just came naturally like it basically just came out. I wasn't embarrassed at the time because I was so in the moment but now that I think about it, do guys like when you moan? Does it turn them on or do they think it's weird?

Also, what else can you do to a guy while having sex that will really get him going? I know all guys are usually different, but any advice would be appreciated!

Well I can't speak for all guys, but my boyfriend tells me he loves it. He also says that guys like it when a girl gets really into it. Like if you're on bottom maybe pulling him closer and kissing him all over...stuff like that :b

20 female.

I'm just asking for people's different stories about having sex with their best friends. Was it awkward, was it fun, was it the best sex you've had, was it the worst, did it make you two closer or did it make your friendship awkward? Any insight you can give me :)

In my opinion, it depends on how much emotion you tie to sex. If you don't attach sex to love, then I don't think it would be that bad. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. But if you do attach sex and love, then I think it would be a very messy situation with all of the emotions getting mixed up. So I agree that I wouldn't do it unless I was looking for a relationship or just something deeper with them.

-Jess

how can i get any guy that i want ? i really like this boy in my class but he have a girlfriend and this crush is driving me crazy i don't really know he's so hot and really cute ! what to do ?

If he has a girlfriend, then I would recommend against any flirting with him. How would you feel if another girl stole away your boyfriend? How do you think that would make other people see you? Stay away from him unless their relationship ends, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

So I am 16 and I like this girl in one of my classes and she is on the swim team. I am on the buys swim team but so I guess we have something to talk about. I approached her and talked to her and everything seemed good.
Then during conversation I brought up this guy whom I hate. This guy does a lot of illegal drugs and is overall not a good person. She told me not to talk about him. It was apparent she did not like him either.
Later I overheard HER say that she had sex with that guy even though she did not want to. Of course I don't know all the circumstances but I was shocked. As a 16 year old virgin who believes sex is for love and marriage, I felt weirdly depressed and disgusted that she had sex with that awful guy. It felt weird to know that she used her body in that way already.
The problem is that I still like her but I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she had sex with that awful guy. What should I do?

You can't really 'do' anything...it isn't up to you who she does or does not have sex with. Remember, not everyone believes sex is for marriage. Don't worry, you'll get over it over time.

Ok I have a 3 year old westie And a 15 week old Maltese. Both are females. I got the maltese at 8 weeks. The two have sniffed eachother and sat next to eachother but that's it. My older dog was in her cage and the little one was running around she went by her cage and they both got down and that playful way. But the big one growled and almost bit the little one through the cage. What should I do? When is it ok for them to play? The Maltese is only 2.5 pounds and the big
one is 14 pounds.

Hey there, I have a Westie also and a yellow lab. So obviously, this is quite a size difference haha...you shouldn't worry, westies in general don't tend to be too vicious...it won't maul your little dog. Sometimes my dogs snap at each other but they've never ever gotten into an actual fight. Goodluck.

So my girlfriend and i have been dating for almost a year know and before now she had hung out with me a ton like almost everyday possible. I'm not saying thats all we did, we definately had some free time and hung out with our bros or girls. but just now she didn't hang out with me this whole week and like was like i'm just out don't worry. Then she called me and told me that she was hanging with these dudes who have been like wanting to hookup with her for like ever.. and i was like its whatever and she was like "well i mean i didn't want you to get upset cause i know you know that they think i'm really hott and stuff.. it was just so much fun like i felt so special cause they like just talked about how attractive i was and how they were obsessed with me! i know it sounds weird but i wanna hang with them a lot more i'm sorry if it interferes with us but like they make me feel so wanted.." like i feel like scared and what not like i dunnoo.. am i overreactinggg i feel like they are going to like take her and stuff... There has been other situations too but this is enough for now.

idk but it's been worrysome.. Thank you

I'd dump her too. It seems like she's wanting you to act like you "want" her more. If she's insecure enough to try to make you really jealous, then that's definitely a problem. Find someone who isn't going to demand all of your attention and scare you. Goodluck.

hi i had sex with a guy i was dating like two or three months ago and i was taking the pill but the day after i ran out and then im just now like a week ago getting back on it but im always tired i get the hickups all the time i fee weak i feel sick i was eating dinner with my mom it was this stuff i use to like and as soon as i smelled it it made my belly turn and i hjust couldnt eat but i took a test a week after we had sex could it be the pill doing that to me ? i hada miscarriage before when i1st started taking the pill but i didnt know i was pregnant until it was too lated and im getting sharp pains that start at my belly button and it shoots all the way down my vag i have no idea what it is but i had the pain before but i was also on the pill before when i got the pain to so idk if im pregnant the test said i wasnt so i didnt stop taking the pill and i dont want to talk to my mom about it she would get mad that im on the pill she got mad when she found out my 35 year old sister was on it she doesnt like it cause what can happen when you on it and she also got pregnant with my brother on it so please help thanks alot
megan

Take another test. Chances are you aren't, since the first one was negative. But it wouldn't hurt to be sure. I had a similar experiance with my boyfriend and a pregnancy scare. I got really paranoid and was freaking out for a week for no reason. Stay calm and take another test if you need the reassurance :)

im 20/f, living in a small town with a large university. with that said, it is RIDICULOUS trying to find a job here, even after applying at several places around the town. one of my good friends has an interview tomorrow at a bar & grill on the side of town where i haven't looked yet for a job. i'm continuing my job on thursday and was wondering if it would be wrong for me to apply at the place also? i have 3 & a half years of serving experience at 3 or 4 different places including corporate restaurants, whereas she only served over this past summer. so me getting the job would be a bit more likely, experience-wise. i am desperate for money at this point, due to being completely independent from any help from my family and have been unemployed since the beginning of august when i quit my summer job to come back to school 3 hours from home, and she is still given money by her parents and doesn't pay rent/insurance/etc. however i would still feel SO bad if she doesn't get the job, and then if i apply and happen to get offered the job, i'd feel like i took it from her. this is probably silly, but does anyone have any input on the situation?

Definitely go for it. You need the money way more then her and plus, if she doesn't have very much experiance then chances are they wouldn't hire her anyway because I'm sure other people applied as well. Goodluck with the job situation.

I really don't know if I should stay with the guy im with right now. None of my family really like him. He's going to college while I chose to stay here and work, so he lives 5 hours away. I've been with him for a year and 3 months, so I do love him. I know he loves me, and he has never cheated or done anything to make me want to break up. I guess the new feeling is just fading, He's really invested in the two of us while im sort of doing what makes me happy at the time, if that makes sense. What I'm wondering is should I just wait this unsure feeling out or cut to the chase and end it? He's my first real relationship, so i just don't know what to do. Give me your thoughts and advice on this.

Thanks.

Dont break up with him because you THINK it isn't going to work out. Break up with him if it ISN'T working out. You don't know yet if this is going to work, so why not just wait it out a little while longer? Who knows, maybe you will make it work out. You'll never know if you don't try. Goodluck.

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