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Confused


Question Posted Thursday September 30 2010, 4:32 pm

So my girlfriend and i have been dating for almost a year know and before now she had hung out with me a ton like almost everyday possible. I'm not saying thats all we did, we definately had some free time and hung out with our bros or girls. but just now she didn't hang out with me this whole week and like was like i'm just out don't worry. Then she called me and told me that she was hanging with these dudes who have been like wanting to hookup with her for like ever.. and i was like its whatever and she was like "well i mean i didn't want you to get upset cause i know you know that they think i'm really hott and stuff.. it was just so much fun like i felt so special cause they like just talked about how attractive i was and how they were obsessed with me! i know it sounds weird but i wanna hang with them a lot more i'm sorry if it interferes with us but like they make me feel so wanted.." like i feel like scared and what not like i dunnoo.. am i overreactinggg i feel like they are going to like take her and stuff... There has been other situations too but this is enough for now.

idk but it's been worrysome.. Thank you



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Juxtapose answered Friday October 8 2010, 11:16 pm:
Talk to her seriously. Call her up and go someplace private and just talk things over. You might not like the answer but it's better than hanging around waiting for her. Or she might tell you what she really feels and that she only wants your attention. You don't have to begin the conversation by saying, "Let's break up". You can ask her calmly what seems to be the problem. It's not about blame or who's at fault. It's about dealing with whatever is going on and continuing from there. Good luck. I hope it all works out for you.

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bakahaido answered Friday October 1 2010, 3:31 pm:
If I were you, I'd dump her. What she says is very disrespectful to you as her boyfriend.
Okay, so maybe you haven't been giving her those kind of attention, like 'you're so pretty, I'm obsessed with you'. And she just wants to make you jealous and realize she wants to feel needed by you. If you still love her, then maybe you can spark some change in the relationship, more candlelight dinner etc etc.
But is she worth it? Just one week away from you and she decided to hang out with these bunch of guys who wants her sexually. And she plans to hang out with them more, knowing full well what they want from her. First of all, a good loyal girlfriend will stay away from this kind of attention. It's okay if she enjoys the attention, it's bad if she's looking for it!
The way I see it, she's not telling you that 'its nice that they make me feel wanted', she is telling you ahead of time that she's gonna cheat on you with them.
Step up and tell her this behavior is unacceptable.

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xokristabelle answered Friday October 1 2010, 1:28 pm:
She is trying to manipulate you and make you jealosu, which is never a good sign. It's probably her way of telling you she wants more attention- however, the fact that she can't just tell you that is not good. You need to talk about it with her, tell her that it's not okay for her to be using other guys for attention, and that if something's wrong, you guys should talk about it. If she refuses to go along with it...well, honestly, I think you should dump her, possibly even if the talk goes well. Her behavior is not acceptable.

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Hitoast answered Thursday September 30 2010, 6:24 pm:
I'd dump her too. It seems like she's wanting you to act like you "want" her more. If she's insecure enough to try to make you really jealous, then that's definitely a problem. Find someone who isn't going to demand all of your attention and scare you. Goodluck.

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Razhie answered Thursday September 30 2010, 5:13 pm:
If I were you, I would dump her.

This is not worrisome. What she said to you is a complete deal breaker. It was selfish, disrespectful and completely inappropraite for her to tell you, after the fact, that she had ditched you because she rather hang out with a group of guys who desperately want her sexually.

It’s one thing to kind of enjoy that feeling – everyone likes it sometimes - it’s another thing entirely to ditch your boyfriend for a week to hang out with a bunch of guys who want to sleep with you. They haven't 'taken her'. She choose to leave you.

OF COURSE that is going to interfere with your relationship. Duh!

It's nice she is being so honest, unfortunately, what she honestly wants by hanging out with a bunch of dudes who want to hook up with her, is not compatible with wanting to be in relationship with you.

Tell her as much. Being friends with these guys is one thing. Hanging out with them from to time, if she is committed to your relationship and sets boundaries with them, makes sense. Obviously she can choose to be their friend if she wants too. However, ditching you all the time for a bunch of guys because they flatter her and flirt with her is not okay. Deliberately exploiting the sexual tension and attraction like that is not respectful to her relationship with you.

You aren’t over reacting. She basically just asked for you permission to do EVERYTHING just shy of cheating out right. And if she is the kind of girl who really needs to feel as desired and wanted by a bunch of other dudes that badly, she is very likely to be the kind of girl who will cheat eventually.

Tell her she that her actions clearly show you that isn’t committed to being in a relationship with you anymore, and end it.

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