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Is he a porn addict with a real problem or........
I have seen my fiance's pic in an adult website. He has a separate desktop & I figured out the password, he looks at porn most every time that I leave the house or will be away for a little bit. I find DVDs & naked pics in my home too. I asked him to stop looking at the movies, he said he likes to hear the noises people make. Said he would stop. I left things be for well over 1yr, we used to have sex daily,I thought I was being paranoid so I started to keep track, some months only 2 times. Then I find accounts opened in June & July at Fling.com, adultfriendfinder, sexinyourcity.com, getiton.com. I accessed his account in fling and utilized my credit card to open his previously sent messages. He has been giving out his number to women and telling them he wants a discreet 1 on 1 or threesome. I did tell him about 4months ago that I seen his birthdate & last name in an adult site...he said it wasnt him & must be an accident. The accounts that he does set up, he states very private info & even posted a pic of him,,,,taken in my fathers backyard on July 4th!! I am very worried about how to approach this with him.....your time & advice are much appreciated. I am reading a book about porn addicts...he seems to fit the bill. But he may just be an arrogant ass constantly needing acknowledgment from women.
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not so much of a porn addict as a sex addict. This dude sounds just like my Medic. he's just as bad, but whorehouses are legal in Germany, so he's a frequent patron. What I've learned in my 4 year friendship with him, is that you have three options: first is to have an intervention and try to get him some help. this didn't work on Doc. second, turn a blind eye. he's got one of those sexual appetites that cannot be sated, and he's gotten a little bored with you(doc's wife is a freak in bed, and he's still bored with her). Third option is to get out of his life. If you're that upset with his behavior, leave. Dudes like this are pretty big douchebags, and have no concept of social norms(ie: fucking artound on the girlfriend/wife is totally cool). I once asked my bigamist friend why he is staying married to his wife, even though he no longer has any kind of physical intimacy with her, and has sex with prostitutes at least once a week. his answer: "I'm staying with her, because one- if I divorce her, she'll take half of my army retirement pay and child support, two- I love my kids, and they need a reliable babysitter."
do you seriously want to have to deal with this kind of shit?
good luck
-Gunner
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Pack up, get out, get tested for STDs and have nothing more to do with him.
Not only he is addicted to porn, he is trying to (or has already) connected with women in real life. He has lied to you and is behaving in very risky behavior. He is using you.
All men are not like this, and there is no good reason for you to put up with this anymore.
Once he has cleaned up his act for at least a year you can re-evaluate things, but spare yourself heartache and misery in the mean time.
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Sounds like he has a real problem. Porn is a very destructive addiction. It changes the way a man views a woman, and obviously you're noticing changes in him. Sit down with him (calmly) and discuss what you've found. Explain you're worried that he has a problem and if he doesn't get help to fix it then you are scared your relationship can't survive. You may have to force his hand on this one and leave for a bit. I personally know several men who have dealt with porn addiction and it was devastating to their wives. One man told me "I started to look at my wife as a dirty whore, because that's the only images I would see of women". The good news is, they were all able to turn their lives around, but it took help. They had to admit they had a problem. Do some research on support groups online for porn addiction. there are a lot of resources out there. And don't forget, whatever happens, you must protect yourself. Even if he has a "sickness", you still have to feel safe and protected, so if your gut is telling you to leave, then leave. Sometimes some distance can make a person admit their issues. Good luck. But you're not crazy, and I don't think he's arrogant. He has a problem.
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