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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
I live in an apartment with my mom. We want to get a cat and the landlady said we can if it doesn't have any claws. We aren't sure if thats ok to do to a cat. I no one other person who has a cat like this and the cat seems happy. What do you think?
The Answer
It is fine to de-claw an indoor cat. Claws are not nessiscary for cats that aren't let outside, because they don't need them to climb or protect themselves in a fight.
It is kinder on the cat to de-claw when they are young. You'll need a vet to do the sugery for you, and it will cost a tidy bit. After your cat is declawed, don't let it outside.
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The Question
He's just beginning to become a friend, and I find him as attractive and magnetic as most others always seem to, but I doubt his motives. It sometimes seems that all he truly cares about, deep down, is his own little world, and the roles he makes those in his life play. Am I just an amusement? I don't think he'll ever let anyone too close to him, I think it's very rarely that he tells me anything true. But something about him is friendly and safe, and at times I feel like he's not trying to fool me at all. He's done nothing wrong. What kind of person is this? Should I steer clear or ignore my gut feeling?
The Answer
Sounds like this guy is worth taking a chance on. Talk to him, explore 'his own little world' and him getting him talking about his past motives.
Despite your misgivings, he doesn't sounds like the kind of guy who is out to decieve you or hurt you. Just someone who puts on a mask when he is around people, and we all tend to do that. Just keep your ears open and listen to what he actually says, not what you wish he would, and you'll be fine.
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The Question
The following questions are not really being asked so that I can be advised about my own beliefs, but rather to (hopefully) stimulate discussion.
Anyway, my first question is this:
Many people believe that God must exist because the universe itself exists. In essence, they believe that the universe was caused by something, and that cause was God. The argument assumes three things. 1. It assumes existence is necessarily caused. 2. It assumes that existence was caused by a conscious, intelligent being.
Now, it seems to me that the idea that the cause is conscious and intelligent, and even a being, is open to question. Maybe the cause is some transcendant FORCE? The first assumption, as well, is questionable. No one is sure if we have every really observed existence being caused. We have seen things change forms, but not pop into existence. Not only that, but theories in quantum physics hold that subatomic particles often appear out of nowhere, with no cause. Many events in the subatomic realm are said to be uncaused. This seems to openly refute the first assumption.
Do you agree or disagree with this? Discuss.
The second argument I'd like to make is in regards to the other big argument for God, that being the argument of design. It basically states that because life is so complex, it couldn't have arisen from chance and it had to be designed.
My objections to this are as follows:
1. If complex life must have been designed by some intelligent force, then the designer (being intelligent) must also have been designed. The designers would have to go back into an infinite regression. This is hardly a plausible idea, because it needlessly multiplies entities without any reason for supposing their existence.
2. The theory of evolution shows how life can evolve from simpler organisms without any intentional design. This is not caused by 'random chance', but by the forces of natural selection, genetic drift, and sexual selection, among others. None of these selection mechanisms are "random". The mutations are random, but the species that survive are not chosen at random.
Is there an adequate way to defend the design theory against these arguments? How would you do so?
Another common argument (this is the last one) is that, given the Big Bang theory, the chances of this specific life-supporting universe originating have such small odds of happening that it seems absurd to say it happened by pure chance.
My objections:
1. Simply because the probability is very low for this given universe doesn't mean that it is IMPOSSIBLE for the universe to form this way by chance.
2. If we were to emphasize the chances of a universe being created that had, say, a lot of big, gaseous planets like jupiter and very few like Earth, this would also be very improbable. The point is that emphasizing life seems arbitrary. Any other possible outcome would be just as improbable.
3. Your own existence is very improbable as well. Think about it. You were composed of a specific sperm out of millions and a specific egg out of thousands. Your parents, grand-parents, and all your other ancestors for however old humans have been around were also subject to this very low probability of being born. If we factor in the chance of each of your relatives meeting and the chances of them having sex at a particular time, the chances become even lower for your own existence. Given all these variables (and there are many more), the chances of your existence are VERY improbable. Does this mean that you weren't created through sexual reproduction (a process of "random" selection among sperm and eggs) but that some being--maybe a stork?--guided you into existence?
Obviously, the fine-tuning argument fails for the reasons the stork argument fails. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
Feel free to pick and choose objects of discussion. Hopefully there will be some interesting responses to give me something to think about!
The Answer
Some people will argue that placing these theories together shines some light on the subject.
The idea that the universe was caused by a conscious, intelligent being does assume that existence requires a cause. This is a very easy thing for us to believe because in our lives we see cause and effect all the time. And like with your designers that would have to go back into an infinite regression, causes too would go back in an infinite regression if we don’t accept that something at some point was uncaused. Your own questions imply that you share the belief of many, that an infinite regression defies logic. Looking at it that way, an Uncaused Cause seems like plausible explanation for the existence of this universe. Even if the idea of a conscious and intelligent being isn’t supported.
As people constantly point out to me, you can’t *prove* the non-existence of something. So you can’t prove that that subatomic particles appear without a cause. Beyond that, quantum physics is not something many people deal with in their everyday life, whereas the laws of cause and effect are. (Of course, having said that how do we say the uncaused cause had no cause?)
Well anyways, that in my opinion is why the argument of causality remains one of the most successful proofs given for theism.
As for the argument for intelligent design (both of your last arguments seem to me do be about intelligent design really) seems to take more of a leap of faith because it really does assume that this universe, including evolution and procreation and all that, is such a delicate and unlikely but precisely balanced system that conscious effort is required behind it.
Shrugs. I’m more used to arguing for causality. Intelligent design always leaves me a little annoyed. Anyways I hope you found this fun too!
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The Question
Every year, throughout the Western world, Gay Pride events take place in big city centres (and, in really progressive places like England, even in small villages which need a bit of gringo dollar to repair the church roof). And every year, in my opinion, Gay Pride events set back relations with religious groups and social conservatives throughout the Western world.
So what can be done to improve relations between "the Right" and homosexuals and their supporters?
Additional questions for consideration:
- What is really at the root of the tension between social conservatives and social liberals, and can anything be done to break it?
- Are any of you guilty of Homophobia?
- What are your reasons for supporting/not supporting/outright attacking homosexuals?
- What is the right attitude to take towards homosexuals, in your opinion?
(I am gay, incidentally, but I live in the UK and am perfectly content with myself. The first paragraph, as you may have guessed, was a ruse to catch your attention. I hope it works.)
The Answer
I live in the gay neighborhood of large western city and adore the Annual Pride Parade. I can see an argument that it might set back relations with religious groups. Frankly, that doesn't bother me. In small towns it might be slightly different, but in a city as large as mine, I love the fact we openly celebrate different lifestyles and cultures that are represented in our population.
I believe, as the homosexuality becomes more accepted and more openly practiced many people will finally be forced to admit that the perceived immorality, is just that, a perception and not a fact. Just like the old perceptions that women didn't have a basic right to vote and man is the unquestioned head of every household. Remember when many religious groups were so adamant about those one?
Add to that, as many more people come to terms with their orientation I think we see 'gay culture' morphing to suit the needs of homosexuals of more conservative lifestyles or political beliefs.
That's just my opinion anyways. Homophobia always seems to me to come down too either ignorance or extreme arrogance. We can only hope, and work towards a world those qualities are less and less acceptable.
Homosexuals are people. You treat people with respect, dignity and love. It amazes me those people who treat a homosexual with more cruelty and hatred then they would a rapist or murderer.
Re evilenterprisesinc post:
From what I hear DN would be delighted to see a question like this, so don’t expect these sorts of questions to go anywhere. If you have a problem with them, don’t answer them.
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The Question
i really need someones help!!! ok so i am 17 and over the last 3 days i have been so hungry i have just wanted to eat and thats it. Today i ate a whole bowl of rice all to myself and i did not even feel full up i think i am Ill. I went to the doctors the other day cus my neck was swollen they looked at my tounge and ears and said it was fine. but seriously i can't stop eating... what shall i do.
The Answer
Relax. You are probably just fine. Sometime we just go through cravings, alot of girls get hungrier depending on their menstrual cycle or growth.
My best advice to you would be too keep making healthy choices like rice, and make sure you aren’t eating out of boredom or because you are nervous. Also drink a lot of water or fruit juices, being better hydrated might reduce the hunger and pretty much everyone could use to drink more water.
If it keeps up, see your doctor again, and be more forceful with your concerns.
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The Question
a girl i dont know that well, but is good friends with my good friends invited me 2 her b-day party, but i was gonna be on vacation, so i told her that and said i couldn't come. she called me a month later and invited me to another party, but i was really really mad at the moment. and i bitchily said "i'm busy" halfway through her sentance and she was like "oh... ok" and i said "bye" and hung up. i called back and apologized once i had cooled down a bit, and explained it was just my mood. but she's been telling her friends (mine too) that she thinks i hate her. any suggestions to make her realize i have nothing against her (and start getting invited to her parties again, because it sucks, cuz she has them all the time and i'm never invited anymore)
The Answer
Tell her you don't hate her and would love to come to her parties. It's that simple. You've already apologized for your bad mood, but its not suprising she still thinks you have something against her. Spread the word to your friends too, they'll help you convince her.
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The Question
Okay well my boyfriend and I have recently been having sex through about 3 months and we have been going out for three years. Not once have I had an orgasm, I always have to fake it and I sort of get tired faking it because I want to experience what an orgasm feels like. And I don't want him to give me oral or finger me or whatever, I want to have an orgasm through intercourse. The sex feels good, but there are times when I cant even feel it in me. Does anyone know how I could achieve this?
The Answer
The simple fact is, very very few woman can orgasm through vaginal sex alone. Clitoral stimulation is necessary for most women to achieve an orgasm, even if it is done at the same time as intercourse.
Experiment with different positions and even more importantly with different speeds, be very vocal about what feels good to you and please Stop Faking It! You are lying to your boyfriend and doing him and any other women he’ll ever be with a great disservice. Why have sex with someone you can’t even be honest with?
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The Question
For along time now I have had scary thoughts. Thoughts that someone is going to kill me in my sleep. I always have thoughts of my sister or family member doing this. I also have thoughts of killing myself, I even go through the cabinets and pour some pills into ziploc bags and hide them in my room just in case I feel the need to overdose. Sometimes I get in crazy moods and can't control them and I am afraid I am going to do something I know I normally wouldn't do. I am like a different person when I am depressed and in a different mood. It's like I have a split personality or something. I don't know what is wrong with me, and I have this urge to always pull my eyebrows out. It feels so good to feel the hair slip from my skin. I get into a trance and can't stop pulling, afterwards I feel so guilty but while I am doing i its all I am focused on. Each hair I feel represents a problem in my life. And when they come out it feels for a moment I am free of worries. Is it strange to feel this way, to love to feel pain?
The Answer
It isn't really strange to feel that way. Many people find physical pain helps them deal with emotional pain.
But your obession with being hurt, or hurting yourself, isn't normal or healthy. It says you probably have some real problems you need to work out and these kind of thoughts and behavoirs will interfer with your enjoyment of life. And that is a serious problem.
Get some professional help, through your school or your doctor. It really is pretty normal for people to find these kind of ways to deal with thier stresses, but they aren't the most healthy ways.
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The Question
Hi im 17. i have had sex once but it was over a year ago. i was just wondering about discharge. i have some but it seems like theres alot. i know its not a yeast infection it doesnt burn or itch or smell or anything. but it seems like i have alot....how much is normal?
The Answer
It completely depends on the person, and keep in mind at 17 your body hasn't stopped changing.
Many girls find they have alot more discharge right before or right after thier period, so keep that in mind as well.
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The Question
What do consider love? Just pour your heart out and ill try to respond
The Answer
I have stolen this definition of love from my boyfriend:
Love is when you value another person’s happiness above your own and are made happiest by that.
I think it is an over simplification myself, but I think it captures the essence of what love is between people rather well.
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The Question
HI im 13 and i want a horse badly. I read alot about them and i take lessons. my sister has a friend that Has a horse. tory(the friend) has a really big barn and says that we could board there if we ever get a horse. my mom says that torys not ready to take care of another horse (i think she is. and my mom also says that money is an isue. i told her that I would give her all of my money and i would stop taking lessons. she would buy it. help!
thank you
The Answer
First off let me say that horses are a huge responsibility. I owned two before I went to university, but sold them because I no longer had the 30+ hours a week to give to them that they needed. Not only would a horse take up all your weekends and free time, your mother would have to be available to drive you too and from the barn all that time plus the cost of gas.
Now, lets do the cost thing.
Imagine you buy a relatively inexpensive horse for $2000
Add to that (rough estimations based on my yearly expenses per horse)
Hay = $450.00
Grain = 300.00
Bedding = $280.00
Immunizations = $60.00
Deworming = $60.00
Dental and other= $200
Shoeing 6 times at $80 = $480.00
Trimming 3 times at $25 = $75.00
Board x 12 months w/o feed supplied = $4000.00
Total is about $6000.00 in a year to keep and maintain your horse plus the cost of actually buying him and buying all your tack.
Think about the amount of money you have to offer your mother again, and think about the time and effort a horse will take from you. Consider leasing a horse over the summer months, or perhaps working at a barn in exchange for more time on a horse.
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The Question
i moved away 2 years ago but i go back and visit every summer and talk to my friends at least once a week so we're still really tight. one of my best friends' dad just died. He's been sick for a while but i dont know what to do. I dont want her to think im abandoning her. I want to call her and tell her that im here and stuff but im scared its too soon. what should i do to tell her im here but not upset her more. its only been about a week since he passed.
The Answer
A week is long enough, the funeral is probably over, the family is gone, and your friend is trying to adapt to normal life agian.
Call her up and tell her you didn't want to call sooner cause you were sure she was busy, and if she is still to busy to talk you understand. Just reach out to her, chances are she'll be grateful to have someone else to talk too.
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The Question
As of recently I've been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend.
Within our first month of dating, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes, out of my own stupidity. About a month later we got in a really big fight.. and I just didn't feel the same about him. Like before the fight we would talk about things like getting married and having kids, but after the fight, It made me feel way too uncomfortable. And I told him that.
Oh.. and a few days ago, he was at the gym, as usual, and some guy gave him some pills, telling him they were Tylonal Cold. For some stupid reason, he took them. He told me, a little bit after he took them, that they were making him dizzy. Then he started talking about how some people were after him and were gonna kidnap him. And then he started takling about how we were supposed to be together in our past lives, and how he wasn't gonna let these people take him away from me again. It really freaked me out..
Now.. I just.. I don't feel the same way I used to about him, and I definately don't feel the same way he does.. He's a tad clingy. Like when I asked him about what he would do if we broke up.. he said he would probably start cutting again, and drinking as well. He also said he might not be able to talk to me for a year or so. And it made me feel really guilty...
I need to know...Do you think I should break up with him? If so, when do you think I should do it, and what should I say?
Thanks very much.
The Answer
Break up with him. Soon.
This guy is using some classic moves to try and keep you in a relationship that makes you very uncomfortable. He's telling you the two of you are meant to be and then making you guilty for doubting him.
Try and be nice about the breakup, but also be firm. You have seen that this guy isn't completely in touch with reality. It would probably be best if you didn't talk to him for a while after the breakup. He'll only try to guilt you into taking him back.
Please remember you are not responsible for his behavior! He is going to do what he is going to, maybe even cut or drink. You can't stop him. Your first responsiblity is too look out for your own wellbeing, so get out of this relationship.
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The Question
i usto be like out all the times with friends girlfriends and all that stuff but life seems difrant now im hardly ever out im always just sitting in my room doing nothing am i depresed or something?
The Answer
Do you feel depressed?
Is it hard to get up in the morning? Do you think your life is not worth living? Does nothing look like fun anymore?
Maybe you are suffering from some depression, or maybe your interests have just changed. Are you happy with more time alone? Have alot of your friends changed or have you grown away from them?
No one can really answer that question for you. If you are happy with how you are living your life then you aren't depressed, you've just changed how much you socailize.
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The Question
school starts on wed. im a 16 year old female and i been with this guy for a yr. on and off. but now its over i cant be with this again and again breaking up again and again it hurts to much and its to stressful. SO anyway, I STILL LOVE HIM i dont no how to stop or why i do but i just do. and when i see him in school i dnt no what to do. i no he loves me and always will but im confused. should i play like i dont care and i've moved on? or should i flirt with other guys in front of him when i dont like it? or just be me and make him notice my pain? but the twist is i dont want a relationship..i need advice on my feelings..
The Answer
Let it go.
If you tease or go out of your way to flirt or make him feel bad, you'll just be continuing the cycle of stress and pain for you both.
Be yourself, and keep your distance from this guy. Your feelings will fad in time if you don't keep the little mind games going.
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The Question
me and this guy like eachother.. we met over the internet but we have hung out a few times. well yeah like i said we like eachother and tonight he actually made the first move in putting his arm around me and holding my hand. well as he dropped me off we hugged and i thouhgt id make the first move and kiss him i couldnt really help it, it just happened. well after that he smiled and said that he would call me later. well now its 3 in the morning and i still havent heard from him.. do you think me kissing him was a bad idea? was it too soon? and usually every night we stay up and talk on aim til like 4 and he hasent gotten on and i know hes not sleeping because he doesnt work. and im usually asleep before him.. anyway! did i make the wrong move in making the first move?
The Answer
Probably not. In my experience most guys love it when a girl makes the first move. So why not make another and call him yourself.
You are really putting too much stock into this "I'll call you." line. Everyone says it, the people who will call you after they've been away from you for less then an hour, and the people who never call agian.
So talk to him, maybe something came up, maybe he was worry about looking too desperate. It certainly doesn't sound like he is trying to brush you off.
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The Question
i am turning 13. and i was raised to believe that turning 13 is very important.for my 13 th b day i want 1 thing...my real parents . i hope some one has tips on how to find them. my adopted parents said it does not matter who they are. theyre right buti think i have the right to know
The Answer
You need to talk to your parents some more and get more details. Your state laws might say you don't have the right to know, at least not untill you are eighteen. If you are Canadian and the product of a closed adpotion you can never find out your birth parents, period.
Listen and be sensitive to your adoptive parents. Chances are, at your age, you will need thier help to find your birth parents. They may also have reasons for not wanting you to know about your birth parents. Listen to them, assure them that you still love them as your parents and ask for thier help.
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The Question
oK..My mom and dad just split up about 3 months ago and like they decided to just get a divorce after the year ((im pretty sure)) so they are dating other ppl..and like this guy that my mom is dating..we have all thought they should date forever..but anywho..and so they went on there first date tonight and like i REALLY like this guy cuz hes really nice to my my sis and my MOM and like I feel like I'm not being right to my dad b/c i like this guy so much but i REALLY love my dad and so and I being not fair or right to my dad..HIGH rates for help!!!
PLEASE HELP!!
The Answer
It is okay to like this guy because he is good to your family and just an all around nice guy. Your father will understand, and probably hope, that when he starts to date, you'll treat the woman he chooses with as much welcome, warmth and maturity.
Love is one of those amazing things. You don't have less of it when you give it to others. You don't love your dad any less just because you like someone else. So relax and care for the people you want to care for.
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The Question
me n my boyfriend have been goin out for close to 3 months... but he gets mad at me for really stupid shit ... he got mad becuz i hung up on him wen he was ignoring me...and i am scared to say sumthin becuz im afradi he will take it the wrong way and break up with me... i mean he hangs up on me all the time!!! i ahve no idea what to do... it really bothers me... what should i do?
The Answer
You don't sound like you have a healthy relationship at all. Why do you want to be with someone when you are regularly rude enough to eachother to need to hang up?
You shouldn't live in fear of saying the wrong thing, or be in a relationship where that kind of nastiness is the norm. Find a better way to deal with your problems then hanging up and dump him if he can't improve his behavoir.
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The Question
I am thirteen and i don't care for guys that much but i have auburn hair, around five foot though alot of people consider me short, skinny (well thats what everyone says) and play alot of sports. Almost like everyone in my grade has either been asked out or has had a boyfriend/girlfriend. I have never been asked out and i am just wondering if i should be concerned about that. I am not interested in having a boyfriend but i just feel.. left out i guess because almost everyone has been asked out but me.
The Answer
Guys aren't completely daft. They can probably pick up on the fact you aren't really interested. You probably make that clear before they even get so far as asking you out and that's just fine. Wait around for a guy you are actually interested in having as a boyfriend.
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