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My best friend's dad did something that really offended me, and we've normally gotten along really well. I wrote him a letter to try to express my feelings. Should i send it? or let it go? If yes, can you suggest any changes?
Here it is:
Mr. ****,
I feel the need to express my feelings over the incident yesterday. I value my friendship with Sascha very much, and the relationship I have with her parents is obviously a big part of that. Frankly, the way you communicated your displeasure over me failing to call you back really offended me.
I have done my best over the course of Sascha’s and my friendship to maintain a good relationship with you and Mrs. ****, and I feel that I have done a pretty good job of doing so. For example, when Sascha sprinted out of your house the first time and ran up and down the bike path, she had called me. I talked her to her, made sure she was okay, and let her vent a little to get her emotions out and allow her to begin calming down. Immediately after that, knowing how worried you and Mrs. **** must be, I called your home, and spoke with Mrs. ****. I let her know where Sascha was, that she was okay, and that she planned on coming home soon. Another time, even though many teenagers would feel very intimidated talking to an adult myself included, I put aside my fear and came to you asking if there was anything you thought I could do to help Sascha through the difficult point she came to in her life. I wanted your take on the situation, so I could help Sascha without doing anything that would either offend you or cause you be reluctant to trust me with your daughter. I definitely do not take this trust for granted. When you trusted me to take Sascha to a party whose host you had never met or talked to, everything I said about the persons attending the party and how the party would run checked out when you came to pick her up. It was very safe and fun. I believe that these cases and many more throughout the course of our friendship have really shown that I have taken special care to maintain a good relationship with both you and Mrs. ****, and that I really do have your daughter’s best interest at heart.
When Sascha ran to me again a little less than a week ago, I handled the situation in the best manner that I could. You have to realize that I was in a very tricky situation—do I go against my best friend and call her parents or do I support her and give her a way to let out all of her emotions? Most teenagers would have chosen their friend, and completely disregarded the parents completely. Though I did choose to console Sascha, I did not disregard the fact that you and Mrs. **** would be very worried about her. Calling you right away would have seemed like betrayal in Sascha’s eyes, so I did what I felt was the next best thing. I called my mom, let her know that Sascha would be over, and that she needed to vent for a while. If you or Mrs. **** needed to know where she was, I believed that you would eventually call my mother, which you did, and then find out what you needed to know. Yes, I could have asked my mom to tell you where Sascha was, but just as before, this would seem like betrayal. I did not answer when either of you called because Sascha asked me not to specifically for the same reasons. I was planning on calling both you back as soon as Sascha had calmed down. However, my mom informed me that Mrs. **** had called her and that she had let her know exactly where Sascha was. The reason I had been planning to call before was to assuage your worry, and as that had already been done, I did not see any reason to call back as it might cause Sascha to feel that I was not “on her side,” if even just a little bit. She needed support, and I gave it to her.
Though I did not call in the heat of the situation, I knew it would be important to talk to either you or Mrs. **** about the circumstance so that I could explain my actions and clear the air of any misconceptions. I did this the morning after, thinking that it would give everyone a chance to cool down. I talked to Mrs. ****, brought up what had happened, apologized for not picking up the phone, and explained my reasons for doing so. She seemed to understand completely and explained that I should not feel like I need to put myself in those uncomfortable situations. Then we both hung up the phone. In my mind, the whole fiasco had been resolved, and I had felt good as I had handled it in the best way I knew how. To me marriage is a complete partnership. If I talk to one member, they will share it with the other. If the other member still needs clarification or something of that nature, I feel that they will take it upon themselves to speak to me about it.
Because it has been clear that I really do do my best in every single situation I have been put in throughout Sascha’s and my friendship, I feel extremely offended in the way you expressed your feelings. You made it seem as though me not calling you back was a serious conscious error on my behalf, when obviously my past actions show that I do everything in my power to not disappoint either you or Mrs. ****. You made an extremely big deal of a mistake I wasn’t even aware I made, and completely demeaned my very very hard efforts to make this ordeal end on a good note. As opposed to calling me right away and letting me know that although in most cases calling one member in a marriage would be fine, you would like to be called back as well, you let me sit for a couple of days thinking everything had worked out and then decided to shell shock me. I feel this was completely uncalled for. For one, I am just a kid. I’m still learning the right way to do everything. I understand making such a big deal out of something if I had made the same error before. However, this was my first offense. Presenting it nicely would have been more than enough. As I’ve said before, I have a good track record, and I feel that with that I deserve to be treated with respect.
I’m extremely sorry if anything I’ve said in this letter insulted or offended you in any way. It was not meant to do so. I only wanted to express my feelings so that our whole families could maintain the good relations we have kept in the past.
Sincerely,
******* (link)
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I think you should send it. It is very strong and clear and your points are mature and justified. I can tell you were really offened by this mans actions, and this letter will not only bring your feelings to his attention, but it will make you feel better as well.
good luck :]
♥ ER
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where can i buy a chi straightener? (link)
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hey
- a store: do some google searches on where you live & if there are any good hair-stores in your area. if you go to the mall, there are a lot of hair places that probably hold chi straighteners.
- online: this is probably the best method.
http://www.folica.com/CHI_Ceramic_Fla_d1.html
that seems pretty cheap for a chi straightener, so i'd check it out. they tend to be expensive, and you might waste money if you buy it in a store.
http://www.originalchi.com/
^ that site has lots of good chi products.
- ask a friend: ask your friends where they got theirs! maybe a few of your friends have some chi straighteners & can hit you up with some good tips. you never know unless you ask :]
i hope i helped! :]
btw- chi straighteners are the best. great investment, no matter how expensive :]
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Hey. I'm thirteen/female and my friend Jill invited me to go to her birthday party. I moved away from the town she lives in when I was in fourth grade, but I go to these parties every year. See, this year, I want to go, and see all my old friends, but I'm nervous about meeting the new people Jill has become friends with. What should I do? And it's a sleepover party, and calling to go home at a sleepover would be kinda, idk, just like, not our age type thing to do. Should I go and see if I have a good time [ I usually do], or not go and save myself possible nervousness? (link)
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hey
i think you should go to jill's party, but not sleepover. i mean, think about it. imagine going and realizing that you dont like the girls and they are mean to you. and then think, "now i have to have a sleepover with them." tell her beforehand you can't sleepover. that way, you wont feel embarassed calling your parents to pick you up :]
by not sleeping over, you still attend the party without being rude & not being subjected to disrespectfulness [ if thats a word :P ].
you will probably have a good time & meet some new people. dont be nervous. you could always sleepover but you might feel sad at the end & feel like you didn't have a good time. & you could always not go. but i guarantee you will probably regret it cause everyone will say it was so much fun afterwards.
i hope i helped & if you go, have a good time :]
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I am17 years old and 7 months ago my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I got pregnant and he left me, now I am pregnant with triplets. My mom says that I shouldnt give them away. I'm not sure what to do. (link)
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hey
well, you can give them away if you want to & if you can't support them. you still have to go to school & college, and triplets, well, will interfer with that.
if i were you, i'd be very sad to give them away, but what other choice do you have? you can't possibly watch all three of them at the same time WHILE going to school.
is it too late to get an abortion? how many months pregnant are you? maybe it's a possibility.
i'm sorry, but there aren't that many choices. youre probably going to have to give them away. or, because your mom says that you shouldnt give them away, you could let her watch them for the first year while you catch up on school, and then you can start taking care of them.
best of luck & i hope i helped :]
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what is an orgasim?what does it do? (link)
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hey
an orgasm is the sexual peak in a woman. it's when she feels the most pleasure.
it doesn't do anything... it just makes women happy & pleasured.
here's some more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm
i hope i helped!
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I don't get what scrunching hair is, can someone explain it to me? What do you do? Many people say they scrunch their hair, curl? (link)
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hey
scrunching your hair is leaning your hair over the palm of your hand, moving your palm upwards (making waves between your palm and scalm) until you get to your scalp. another way you can scrunch your hair is to twist it into strands, but this doesnt work very well.
check this out:
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art4077.asp
i hope i helped!
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15/f. ok so when i straighten my hair i would like their to still be a little volume to in, maybe by the scalp. how can i do this? (link)
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hey
i dont really use hairsprays cause i feel like a lot of them don't work for me, but this is what you do:
- blowdry your hair UPSIDE-DOWN. just like you regularly do.
- flip it over.
- comb it through (it will probably get a little flat when you do this, but dont worry)
- preheat your straightener.
- flip your head over.
- straighten your hair upside down (this is a great tip).
i have naturally straight-ish hair, so this works really well for me. if you have curly hair, straighten your hair a little bit right side up (like the big pieces on the bottom) and then turn your head over and get the rest upside down. to tell you the truth, i feel like my hair is more straight when i do it upside down that right-side up. i do it bothways, and i get every strand :]
if you blowdry and straighten your hair upside down, it's not "flat" at the top and it's a little straight up. but gravity pulls it back down.
if you have side bangs like me, just pin them up while you do this. after youre done, just blowdry (& straighten) them afterwards. if you do this without pinning up your bangs, they will look absolutely ridiculous, and you might consider putting them up in a pouf.
after youre done straightening your hair, turn your head back over and, starting at the roots, tease your hair with a brush (preferably round) or a comb. this really adds volume at the scalp, especially if your hair is a LITTLE tiny wet.
i hope i helped!
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what is something wich you can taste or anything after drinking alcohol so your parents, police can't tell you drank because of your breath ?? please tell m something that really works not like ..halls or anything lik that (link)
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hey
chocolate covers the scent of anything. i can see why gum and mints would make it worse cause it just masks it. but chocolate completely takes over your mouth. for alcohol, a good 6 oz. bar would do it. but i dont know if your parents would want to chug a piece of chocolate in the car after a delicious dinner in a restaurant.
if chocolate doesn't work, i'd honestly suggest waiting in the car for a little while (maybe bring your desserts into the car, like take them to go) and eat them in the car. that way you guys will end up talking for a long time and the alcohol will get... not digested, alcohol doesnt get digested but i forget the term... and the scent will pass.
i hope i helped & i'm sure your parents will be really careful when driving. just avoid getting pulled over in the first place! simply follow the rules and try not to switch lanes too much. that will attract attention. keep your headlights on in the dark, and try to stay as straight as you can on the road. swerving also attracts attention. speeding is the main one, however. dont ever go above the speed limit even though everyone else is. youre taking a risk of YOU being the first person that the police catches!
:]
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ok so theres this guy in my spanish class thats a year younger than me that i swear is perfect. hes taller than me hes cute hes smart hes funny hes athletic and hes so sweet. thursday after school i was walking in the hallway when he found me and asked me what i was doing over the weekend. i told him i was going to disney world because i was going there with choir and he was like oh yea thats right you told me that. and then we walked outside and both left. when i got home i realised he might have been trying to ask me out. but im not sure. hes really nice and he could have just been making conversation. he sits right infront of me and we talk alot everyday and he will just turn around and stare at me w/ a smirk on his face. i like him alot and i think he likes me too, but im not sure. im never sure! but anyways do yall think he was trying to ask me out and that he likes me? i dont know what to say to him to show him i like him without being just plain obvious. we would be soooo perfect together its crazy. thanks so much! (link)
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hey
yeah omg it totally sounded like he was trying to ask you out. however some of my guyfirends have plainly asked me what i'm doing this weekend and they weren't asking me out (i know for a fact). it could have been either way, hun.
he could definitely like you. a few things: did he look down, maybe a little sad when you told him you were going to disneyworld? or did he maintain eye contact and respond like, " :) ohhh yeahhhh!" cause if it was the first one, he was asking you out. the second one he could have just been hiding his hurt.
maybe next time you see him, just be like, "hey what are you doing this weekend?" if his face lights up and he starts to smile, he definitely likes you. if he just answers the question, he thinks of you as just friends.
look at this website. does he do any of them?
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_tell_if_a_guy_likes_you
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Yesterday I got this brown spot in my underwear that looked like discharge and today I also ot it. I havent had any cramps or anything what is it? (link)
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thats what i had when i first started my period. its brown. and its like just a little. it will be like that for a little while, then it will get heavier blood and normal. it will either become normal this period, or next month's period. tell your mom. its okay that you dont have cramps, i've had my period for 2 years and i still dont have cramps.
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does anyone know of any good rap songs new and old? thanksss (link)
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MC Hammer - u can't touch this
run dmc - all of them
salt n peppa - shoop
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i like this guy at school and we've kind of talked here and there, but i really like him alot but i dont know how he feels about me, should i go and talk to him or be clueless the rest of the year?
(link)
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hey
well dont rush into asking him how he feels. it might go way too fast.
yes, of course you should talk to him! the more you guys talk the more likely he is to like you. dont be cluless. it's clear when guys dont like you, so dont go for it if you have a hunch.
if you guys are good friends, and he likes you, he may very well ask you out. you can check this out to see if any of them apply:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_signs_a_guy_likes_you_that_you_might_be_missing
if a lot of them apply, i'd just hang out with him for a little bit and just casually ask, "hey, do you like me?" being direct is key. there is no confusion. dont give hints and flirt with him and give him a lot of mixed signals. this could turn him off cause he is unsure whether you like him or not.
whatever you do, DONT TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS, or even one! they act differently around him. they may or may not mean to, but once you blow it, it's done. they will stare at him and get quiet when he's around. and it will be even more akward for him. dont get your friends to ask him if he likes you or something. it's about you and him.
i hope i helped! :]
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is this the same thing as douching? i wash the outside of my vagina with body wash and then ill put some on 2 of my fingers and ill slide them in and out of my vagina to clean it. then i take out my fingers, rinse them off and then keep putting my fingers back inside of my vagina until i dont see anymore soap coming out on my fingers. it it ok to clean your vagina like that? (link)
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hey
no. it's not okay. the soap can get pushed deep into your vagina and you can get an infection.
the way to clean your vagina is to get in the shower, and before you shampoo or condition and DEFINITELY before you put body wash on, just do what you were doing with water. it's very dangerous to put soap in your lips, let alone IN your vaginal hole
after you clean it and start putting the body wash on, dont put your fingers in your butt or vagina.
i hope i helped, and be careful :]
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with a myspace account that is public where everyone can see in your pics r you aloud to flip the finger? (link)
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hey
yeah, i dont see why not. as long is it's not sexually explicit or have nudity, i guess it's not breaking the rules.
knock yourself out, haha :]
i hope i helped!
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ok i am a teenager and i really need help! so i just got my period and there is one problem...when i tried to put in a tampon>>>i couldn't find the hole it goes in :-*( please dont laugh at me...it is extremely embarassing and i dont know what to do... i know it is there though HELP. (link)
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hey
no worries! it's farther back than you think. it's so back that it's like an inch away from your butthole. just keep searching.
you will find it. try spreading your legs out really far.
get a hand mirror to look in. it'll be easier looking than feeling.
i hope i helped! and dont worry!
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how do i change my password for my screen name for aim???? (link)
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hey
sign on. on your buddy list window, at the top it says like, "My AIM," "People," and "Help." click on "My AIM."
scroll down to "Edit Options" (7th one down)
then, "Change Password..." (2nd one down)
follow the on-screen instructions to change your password.
remember to sign off aim and sign back on. also, if you have your password saved, you have to REsave it or it won't register. you might get blocked off if you keep clicking "sign on" with your old password.
i hope i helped!
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Would your hair look weird curled if you have layers? (link)
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hahahaha i love this question! anyway it will probably make your hair look thicker and kinda poofier if you do big curls...but if you have loose curls (which by the way is in this year) should not look too bad...it might even look good! i guess u never know until u try it.
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PLEASE READ THIS! Ok, I am a teen-ager now, and I've never had a boy-friend. But, for four years now, I've liked this boy. He's best friends with my best friend (whose a boy too). Lately my friend (whose a girl) and I have been hanging out with him and this other boy. They're SO funny together, and I really, still like him. But, at the end of the year I've decided to tell him how I feel. But, lately my best friend who moved a while ago has been trying to set me up on blind dates. But, I refused because I like the boy I've like for so long. But one day she called me and told me how someone in her class saw my picture and liked me, and wanted to go out with me. So she called me and I refused to go out with him. But she said that we could just hang out and shell be there. Also, he sounds cute, and she thinks he is. But I REALLY REALLY REALLY like this boy, and he's in my class, AND his locker is right next to mine. Should I go out with the boy my friend said, or just keep with this boy I've liked for four years.
ps. He's my first thought when I wake up, my last thought of the day, and I've NEVER felt this way about ANYONE! but i don't know if he likes me, but my friends always bring him up in conversations. (link)
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hmmm, well if you like the boy THAT much that he's pretty much on your mind all the time, then i would have to say tell your best friend about your feelings for him, and let the kid who saw your picture down nicely...it will all work out dont worry! :-)
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How can I stop being so paranoid? I care too much about the motives of others, and if they're talking about me, etc. I'm so paranoid when I like guys, too, and it messes with my head and distorts everything.
Please help, I'm desperate and miserable. (link)
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make sure YOU are sure they are talking about you, ask them to be honest with you because you are really down about the whole situation. Tell them that if you are acting paranoid around them to tell you this way you know when it is happening and can try to take control of the situation.
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okay i was just wondering are two people with the same sign not meant to be together or is it more likely for them to be together? (link)
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hey
neither. it depends on what sign you are and what sign he is. check this out:
http://www.paranormality.com/capricorn.shtml
it tells you everything youre looking for. just click on your sign :]
these compatibility things are just for guides. if you find that a guy you really like is most compatible with you, then you guys will fulfill a healthy, strong bond and may end up in something more serious. although guys with whom you are not very compatible with CAN turn out to be amazing, you and him will have to work harder at finding peace in the relationship. it's just better if you are compatible with them.
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