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Female

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Pluto

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waterbender =D haha, I'm such a nerd.

Age:

18

Member Since:

July 7, 2005

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1087

Last Update:

September 21, 2006

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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

Ohkay, my winter dance is coming up soon. I've been trying to lose weight for it. Let's just say at the time of the dance, I'll be 160 pounds and 5'5. Does anyone know any dresses that would look cute on a girl that size? links to specifc sites would be apprectiated.

*THIS IS AN OPINION QUESTION. ALL ANSWERS THAT PEOPLE PUT EVEN SOME DEGREE OF THOUGHT INTO WILL GET 5'S.*

Okay, well I am a 'bigger' girl and when I went to the prom last year I was fortunate to have found a very lovely dress that fit well. I got it Filene's. It was a little hard to find because it was plus size, but it only took a little bit of effort. Another suggestion is Lane Bryant (http://lanebryant.charmingshoppes.com/homelb.aspx), since large-sized clothing for women is what they specilize in.

Okay I have this freind and she is so pretty
all the boys hit on her but when they hit on her they dont notice me I fill, Ugly or left out
I dont know if I am or not like for instance:
We were out @ the mall and this guy came close to her and winked and just look at me like what the He** you looking at or something like that I have no clue what to do
sorry its so long
i rate high

The weird thing is that I was just talking to my mom about this the other day. She had the exact same problem growing up. The thing was that she was ALWAYS with her friend. She didn't realize how beautiful she really was because she constantly compared herself to this girl. You ARE beautiful, you just don't know it. Try not to compare yourself with her. Imagine that she is a plum blossom and you are a hummingbird. You just can't compare those two things; they are completely different. But they are both equally beautiful. Once, a guy tried to pick up my mom. My mother asked, "Why me, when she's right here?" The guy said that he wouldn't have a chance with her. That was a really dumb thing for him to say, and obviously he didn't get any that night. However, she asked this same question of another man who expressed interest in her. His answer was, "She's too skinny for me!" That man ended up being my father. Don't let it get to you--guys that give you those looks like you're not worth their time? Those guys are SCUM. You don't WANT guys like that. They're the type that only like you for your body and trust me they are trouble. If you think it's best, maybe you should go out by yourself once in a while. People will notice that the hummingbird is even lovlier when it's not next to the plum blossom. You can do this without ruining your friendship--my mom and that girl are still best friends.

Is it possible to fall in love at 17? I have been with my boyfriend for only 4 months, but there is such an intense energy between us. We talk all the time and are together at every moment possible. we are similar in our core beliefs, but disagree on many topics. Disagreeing has sparked tons of interesting conversations between us. everytime i think about him or someone says his name i smile and get a warm, fuzzy, happy feeling. we trust and respect one another and have good sexual chemistry (we have not however, had sex and will not for quite some time)

I am almost positive that i love him, but ever since i was young people have always told me that you can't fall in love in high school. I want to get some outside oppinions and find out if the things i am feeling are what is generally classified as love.

thanks loves!
me*

Of course it's possible. Everybody has the capibility to love, even the littlest tiniest babies. It's true that there are different types of love and that these often change with maturity. But you are 17, very nearly an adult, and I'm sure you're mature enough to make your own decisions about things like this. You're not about to buy a house and get married and have five kids, and that's fine. Getting married, having sex, etc. are ways that people express love for each other, but they are not the definition of love. Many people have sex and do not love each other. Even many marriages are loveless. But you seem to know that you love this guy, therefore it IS love. There are no shades of gray when it comes to love; only different shapes (in other words, different forms of expression). Nobody else can tell you what you can or cannot feel. They can't possibly know because they aren't you. You most certainly can fall in love in high school. Many high school relationships do not last, that is a known fact. And your current relationship may not last for the rest of your life. But that's only in a possible future--right now, you are no less in love than a couple that has been married for sixty years.

EDIT: I forgot to say this: my parents pretty much decided to get married the first time they went out and a few months later they did. They've been together for almost twenty years now. So it's also possible to love someone after a short amount of time.

15, almost 16, female.
Little brother is 12 almost13.

we fight all the time. I try so hard to be nice. and most of the time I am nice. I am always sharing, and even if I getsomething new, I always share it, and I am tollerent of our different taste in music. He likes heavy rap and metal, and those are the two I despise. Although I enjoy love songs, they are not my favorite, he despises them tho.

I want to be a good big sister. I want him to come to me when he has a girlfriend, or when he has girl trouble, or something good to tell me. I want him to be able to come to me. Now when he needs to be driven to a friends house or somewhere with a friend, he despises when I drive, ( I have my permit) but, I know I need the practice so I can get my liscense, and My parents, of course, are with me, and they are okay with me driving my brother and his friends. But I will be getting my liscence in 5months, and I want him to want me to drive him. I want him to look up to me, and like it when I drive him or pick him up from places. I do try to set a good example too!!

Any tips? Is he just going through a stage? How can I be more tollerent when he is bad??

thank you so much in advance!!

-Kelsey-
k2204

Sadly, it's possible to be too nice and I think that's what you're doing. You see sharing everything you have as simple kindness. He probably thinks you just let him do whatever he wants. With really little kids, if a parent gives them something they want just because they cry, the child learns that they get what they want by crying. Some people might disagree with me, but I don't think this is something we ever out grow. It's how we interact with people--we know what we want, and we figure out how to get it.

Now, understand that your brother is entering adolescence. This is a cruel period of one's life, as I'm sure you remember. He is turning from a child to an adult and needs space so that he can get to know himself better. He has new boundaries that you need to respect (I'm not saying you don't respect them, I'm just saying that you need to keep this in mind). He may feel you are smothering him. I say, give him his space. Don't totally ignore him, but don't seek him out either. Someone else said that you should wait to be asked. I agree. Let him come to you. He may not come to you directly. Have you tried to tell him that you want to be there for him? When did you tell him? He might have been in a perfectly good mood at the time and didn't want your advice. Wait until he seems to be really suffering to offer to your support.

Now as to him being "bad". I don't know exactly what you define as "bad", the only examples you gave are that he closes off to you (normal) and listens to tasteless music. If he is doing something serious, you should be tough about it. If he has gotten himself into a situation he can't handle, part of helping him through it would be to not go running to your parents. Often, parents will simply punish a child and not even listen to their point of view. This only leads to bad feelings. If your brother is ever caught in such a situation, you can tell him that you will help him through it (and then do so) and say that you don't think Mom and Dad need to know; it'll be your secret. I would be more specific, but you didn't imply that such a thing was going on. If it, feel free to ask me about it and I'll gladly give you the best advice I can.

good luck,
tasuki

I love the advice you gave me from the last question about defense classes but, what age do you have to be?

I think they take all ages. It depends on the class you sign up for. They have a children's class and an adult class. I'm pretty sure if you go the YMCA and ask them about it you will get a straight answer.

when someone says theyre sprung..what does it mean?

They're horny/want sex/they have an erection.

Hey! Does anybody know when Paris Hilton's CD comes out?! Thanks so much!

Good Goddess, she's making a CD? That woman needs to be stopped. She is harmful to society.

what color goes best with pink?
what color goes best with blue?
what color goes best with gray?

1. Black.
2. White, yellow.
3. Dark purple.

Did the cartoon "Watership Down" get nominated for any Oscars? And what about it's timeless theme song "Bright Eyes"?

Yes, Watership Down has an Oscar. I don't know anything about Bright Eyes though. Maybe it says something about it on the back of the DVD case.

Ok i have this friend who lives in another state , i fogot to get his email beforehe moved , so does anyone know a way for me to find is email , i dont know his last name either???

If you don't know his last name it's going to be really hard. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll e-mail you, then you'll have his address. Or maybe he has a myspace or a xanga or a livejournal or an advicenators account that you can contact him through? If you knew his last name you could try googling him but without knowing that there isn't much hope. I hope he e-mails you.

I have 2 friends that I'm trying to convince to stop messing around with Marijuana before something really bad happens. Both of them happen to be singers in bands/choir/shows. Does smoking pot affect your vocal chords or ability to sing? I know regular tobacco messes it up, but does pot have the same effects? A yes or no answer is fine but I would really like some sort of backround information b/c I couldn't find any when I searched it online. Thanks!

Well, breathing in any kind of smoke does do damage to your lungs and probably your vocal chords.

But I just want to warn you about trying to convince them to stop doing drugs. When my mom was a teenager she tried to get her friends to stop smoking tobacco, and they got mad at her and then got her hooked on it. And she is seriously addicted to this day. She always warned me never to try to get people to stop doing that sort of thing. Still, I can't always help it, when I hear my friend coughing because of cigarettes (even though she says that's not the reason) I say, "You sound like my mother, you know, coughing like that." And she gets all defensive and yells at me to stay out of her life. I know it's really hard for you, and I'm not saying that you should back off completely and let them ruin their lives just be really careful because sometimes when we try to help we just end up making it worse. If they do get angry at you and tell you to stay out of their business I would go to an adult that you can trust (ie, one that won't turn them into the cops or anything like that) and say that you want to help your friends before they destroy their lives. A school guidance counselor would be really good for something like this.

what exactly does it mean to be friends with benefits? like what is different about it than being b/f and g/f? thanks

It means you're not commited to a romantic relationship but you can fool around sexually or even just cuddle and kiss and things like that.

Ok well me and my boyfriend just started going out and he smokes but I dont. We havnt kissed (meaning made out) yet and I was just wondering if when I kiss him will it taste like cigarette? And also could I get any type of cancer just from him kissing me? Ill give a 5 to anyone who doesnt make fun! THANKS! x♥x

Yeah, it most likely will taste like cigarettes. I don't think you can get cancer from kissing him, but you can if you breathe in his second hand smoke all the time.

Ok, do you know any website or SOMETHING i could visit that has something to do with self-defense? I knida got a problem and i need defense class to teach me not to be scared of somebody and to toughen up. or you could give me advise what to do. how about both? i'll rate high for anything! thnx

Places like the YMCA have self defense courses.

Just click "Search" on that thing and it'll give you a list of sites.

whats..
WAY TO FAT!
FAT.
normal.
a little under normal.
skinny
to skinny

Way Too Fat-If you have trouble walking, or if you fall over and can't get up, or if you look and feel like a sumo wrestler, you are dangerously obese and should change your lifestyle and maybe think about getting professional help.

Fat-If you think you're too fat, it may just be in your head. We are forced to accept stereotypes and try to live up to false standards of physical beauty and that is NOT good. But if you are just unhealthy, you should diet, exercize, and go see a doctor.

Normal-When you've accepted yourself and know that you are a beautiful human being.

Skinny-When you're fit but not bony.

Too skinny-When you've been starving yourself.

For Christmas my bf got me this necklace. I can't say I am dissapointed, don't get me wrong, I am so happy he got me something! And it is beautiful. The only thing is that it is a little formal. It has dimaonds all over the chain and stuff (I don't think they are real though). But my question is, should I wear it everytime I see him? It is a little formal to wear with a normal outfit like jeans and a tanktop. I wore it to a New Years party and he noticed that I was wearing it cause he said, "oh you are wearing it!" and was playing with it. Should I wear it to school? It just seems a little formal. Do you think he would care if I didn't? I sorta wish he would have gotten me something a little casual.
14/f

I wouldn't wear it to school. The clasp might get broken and it may fall off. You should only wear it on special occasions. If he asks you can say that it's just really, really special and you don't want to wear it on any old day with your regular un-special clothes. It makes a lot of sense to me. He should understand.

what happen to the desperate housewives? they havent had a new episode for like 2 monthes and the season cant be over because it only started like 3 monthes ago... is there ever going to be a new episode? i know tonight is a recap

I don't know anything about Desperate Housewives, but this typical of a LOT of TV shows. I found this out when I used to watch Buffy--they would have a few new episodes, then show nothing but re-runs for a long time, then show the rest of the new episodes. The reason has something to do with certain months being better for ratings. During this time of year there are supposedly low ratings, I think they go up again towards late February. I think it makes no sense at all, because obviously their ratings would go up if they showed new episodes that people wanted to watch. So I've pretty much come to the conclusion that like many things in life, this is a scam. Oh well. Your show will definitely be back relatively soon, so I wouldn't worry.

I have kind of an odd question. My friend told me that if you listen to Stairway to Heaven backwards, its satanic messages. I was skeptical and my parents told me it wasnt true. I had so many nightmares that night, thinking about what it sounded like, that when I woke up this morning, I turned on my computer and tried to find any and every piece of info I could about "backmasking" or listening to songs in reverse to hear satanic messages. I was really scared, but interested. It was all I thought about the WHOLE day, and Im not even kidding. Im afraid because I cant get the song Stairway to Heaven backwards which is "Oh My sweet Satan" and things like that out of my head! what do i do?! And also, is it REAL? Please somebody give me more information about backmasking. Ive looked up every google site on it. But, I want someone to give it to me in their own words. I will give everyone a 5 who has a good answer!

It's not true. This was propaganda made up by VERY conservative, somewhat crazy people back when rock and roll was just becoming popular. They saw the revealing outfits and the long hair and the wildness (and also the corrupt lives that a lot of musicians lead) and they were afraid of losing control over their children. But their children didn't become evil instruments of Satan, did they? No. The majority of them became well-adjusted people and had families of their own. Trust me, I've listened to that song and plenty of other songs that were said to be evil and nothing bad has EVER happened to me. Except one time when I got hit in the head and temporarily lost my memory. But Satan had nothing to do with that. That was just a really stupid babysitter. Besides that, real Satanism isn't about evil and worshipping the devil and sacrificing children in puppies. It's a legitimate religion that just teaches to be true to oneself. The scary "Satanists" that do all that horrible stuff, they're just freaky cult wackos and there's nothing we can do to get rid of them. Satan can't corrupt you unless you let him, and you do that by being afraid of something that's really quite harmless. I've been on "freak out mode" the way you are now, even though it was about something slightly different, and I lived through it. DO NOT believe every random site you go to on google. Any nutjob can make a website and get their frightening opinions out there. For now, just take a deep breath and have a glass of water and try to calm down. Afterwards, tell your friend that you don't believe that and you don't want to talk about it anymore. If she asks why just say "Well, it might not be a big deal to you but it really freaked me out."

when answering a question why does age play such a big factor. like for instance that 16/f that wanted a baby. i saw that everyone was like your too young,but who says that she wont make a great mother. and know one knows her living situation or money or anything.. it really doesnt say people just assume they know. it tells her to wait till shes 18. i bet there are 18 year olds out there that are much worse off than she is or wont be as good as of mother as she is. so maybe she is 16.. do you think we should just make assumptions about people like that? or would it better to know more about the person before answering?

If you only have a limited amount of information, basically all you have to go on is asumptions. So when somebody says they are sixteen and want to get pregnant, most people would probably think of when they were sixteen or when somebody else was that age and in a similar situation. That's why it's good that many different people on this site can answer the same question. The person asking the question gets a bunch of different opinions. I do think age is an important factor in something like this. My reaction to a sixteen-year-old wanting to get pregnant was bascially "Yesh...taking a big risk there. But it's her choice, and she seems to know what she's getting into." But say it was a twelve-year-old. My reaction would be "That is so sad!" or possibly "ARE YOU AN IDIOT?" or even "She needs psychiatric help." Sure, different people of the same age have different situations and maturity levels. But just because somebody says that they know what they're getting into and they're mature enough to handle it doesn't mean it's true. That's why we're here to give advice, to tell them if they're making a good choice or not. And think about it--if they were 100% confident in the choice they want to make, would they be online asking people for advice?

why does everyone look at a teen having a baby like the end of the world for them. i mean i know its hard but I've seen tons of people work through it,and live successful lives. so its a challenge. but worse can happen. i mean if the person can be a good monther and somehow support herself and her child isnt that enough?

A lot of teen mothers DON'T know how to deal with it and they aren't very good mothers. I'm not saying all of them, I'm not even saying the majority of them. But for many people, it can ruin their life. Say you are working realy hard to get a scholarship because your parents can barely afford to pay your college tuition. Then you get raped and end up pregnant. It's not really the end of the world, if you can rise above it and start out fresh, but it sure seems like it. And some people don't know how to start out fresh. One thing happens and then another and they end up having to be prostitutes just to feed their children. Or maybe the teen in question doesn't really have the greatest parents, and they'll flip out and kick her out of the house and have nothing to do with her if she ever got pregnant. It's a very emotional thing, to be pregnant, and it's worse when you're still basically a child yourself. I don't blame them for feeling like it's the end of the world.

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