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asumptions?
when answering a question why does age play such a big factor. like for instance that 16/f that wanted a baby. i saw that everyone was like your too young,but who says that she wont make a great mother. and know one knows her living situation or money or anything.. it really doesnt say people just assume they know. it tells her to wait till shes 18. i bet there are 18 year olds out there that are much worse off than she is or wont be as good as of mother as she is. so maybe she is 16.. do you think we should just make assumptions about people like that? or would it better to know more about the person before answering?
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Want to answer more questions in the Technology category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Advicenators?
Age is a big factor when giving advice because the more you know about the person and their situation the more accurate advice you can give. Your advice is your opinion. So if a 14 year old is saying she's ready to have sex and is asking whether she should go for it or not, if you don't know she's 14 then you could be telling her she should because you assume she is old enough to make that decision.
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nobodys saying she wont make a good mother she might make an excellent mother but what would she have to offer the baby love yes but providing for her independently without parents help in money or anything else why not tell her wait until she find that person who can be there for her baby get a not job but career so that she can provide get a stable home and a good one so your child can get a good education and she would struggle here and there and you dont want that if your a good mother for your child you want her/him to grow up to be the best they can be. you should tell her to wait and for all the reasons cause you can never never never go back on time.she just wants one to have one but there comes alot of responsiblity it not all fun and games once the babys there its there point black dont make assumptions get them to reconignze whats real and how it is going to affect her life and what if the baby daddy dont want the baby then what single parent and that worse teenage and single parent because the boy dont want to step up and be a man and take care of the child and the parents cant do but so much or if any at all. and if the daddys not there that can be a very negative thing in that childs life without a father without a mother. its more than she can handle at age 16 lets be real
-attractive
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it always helps us to know the person and situations, because we don't know to whom it reaches, where he/she is there. what is their cultural background. and also i don't thing anything wrong. in india, only now marriage is happening in 20s.otherwise it will happen in teens.one thing that is the age when natural urge starts functioning with in a person. and in old ages the marriage will happen but the sexual contact will not be allowed. but since he / she felt as marriage, their life will not go just like that.
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Well, I thought about that too. But, I figured out why it is important to tell how old you are. Okay, say a young girl, about 12 asks why she has white goo in her underwear. You would tell her that it is just discharge. But a woman of about 30 who had the same question could have a major health problem she isn't mentioning. You wouldn,t tell her it is discharge, because you wouldn't know what it is because she would be too old to have the discharge.
Now, the girl that wants a baby at 16, really should wait until she is 18. We don't know her living conditions, but she might go to school. she should wait until she finishes school. If she wants a baby, she should have it with the right person. Has she found him/her? How do her parents think about it. Does she have parents. What about the baby? Does she have good living conditions? Is she healthy? Is there anyway the baby will be born with aids or heart problems? Does she need to adopt?
We don't know, that is why we tell her to wait, and get tests, or decide what would be right for her and the baby. We do the best we can on what info we get from our questions.
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those are great questions. honestly, im only 13 and i dont want children until ive found the right guy that i know i want to be with for the rest of my life. i definitely think assuming is the wrong thing to do but maybe theyre just concerned that shes in a little over her head and she might not be as ready as she thinks. also, its much better when you have someone to share something so amazing with, dont you think?
you know you love me,
gossip girl
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yeah, you make a really good point. as advice givers, we can only give advice on what the people tell us. so yes, we all have to make assumptions about things. We make assumtions by looking at what all they wrote, and how they wrote their question. Many times we can make important assumtions like, ages, if people didn't tell us.
and yes, you do make a good point. there are alot of 18 year old girls that could not, for the life of them, raise a child as good as some 16 year olds. but usually, wanting a child, if you aren't married, or even legally old enough to have sex, it's just a phase. if you notice, most of the girls that say they want a baby, have babysat kids since they were young and they want one that they can love and hold forever.
babys are a big responsibility,so, if you are still in high school, it is a good idea to tell the persons, girls, boys, or who ever wants the babies, that they should wait, so they can possibly give the baby a little bit better life than they would have given the baby if they hadn't finished highschool.
it would most certainly be better if the person asking the question stated important things like age and gender. but if they don't. then we have to assume those things.
for example: if someone didn't specify their gender, but wrote something like: "my girlfriend and I...etc etc." then usually, you can assume that that is a guy talking. and if it says something like: "My bff and I had a big fight..." well, usually only girls have bffs..
see what I mean? but yeah, you make a good point.
-I hope it clears some things up-
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If you only have a limited amount of information, basically all you have to go on is asumptions. So when somebody says they are sixteen and want to get pregnant, most people would probably think of when they were sixteen or when somebody else was that age and in a similar situation. That's why it's good that many different people on this site can answer the same question. The person asking the question gets a bunch of different opinions. I do think age is an important factor in something like this. My reaction to a sixteen-year-old wanting to get pregnant was bascially "Yesh...taking a big risk there. But it's her choice, and she seems to know what she's getting into." But say it was a twelve-year-old. My reaction would be "That is so sad!" or possibly "ARE YOU AN IDIOT?" or even "She needs psychiatric help." Sure, different people of the same age have different situations and maturity levels. But just because somebody says that they know what they're getting into and they're mature enough to handle it doesn't mean it's true. That's why we're here to give advice, to tell them if they're making a good choice or not. And think about it--if they were 100% confident in the choice they want to make, would they be online asking people for advice?
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I agree but I also disagree. People judge people too fast. But honestly, do you many teenage girls that are emotionally and financially ready to take care of a baby? If they were, why would some schools have classes about taking care of babies and abstinence?
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Face the facts.
Being 16 usally means your still imature.
When your 18 your a little more mature.
25 and up usally is mature.
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i answered that question & idk any 16 year olds that have the money er responsiblity to be a mother. do you?? if you do then that's really really rare. at 16 she probably doesn't have a HS education. how would you expect someone to take care of a child at age 16, with no degree?? she can't stay in school, because she said that she dk about the father, therefore she'd be raising it on her own. 18 might be the same as 16 financial wise but she'd be a registered adult, therefore it'd be easier to take care of it if she really has to. sometimes age really comes into play. this site is general advice. we don't know the people asking for advice so we give them general information they should know. with this situation, obviously you assume if she's 16 she doesn't have that much money for herself & a child.
-hope that helped!♥
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Well some teeenagers that have babies at a young age that I know were able to go to school,take care of the baby at the same time I would say that you would have to know the person more before making comments or assumptions.
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There is no way anyone here will ever know all the facts. I've given some advice that, after receiving more information from the person I realized wasn't correct. It's just the way life is. We do are best, we aren't physic.
However, generalizations are not bad things! They are the way the human mind works for good reason. We organize our thoughts and experiences into categories, we recognize trends.
If you really want an intelligent discussion about the unfairness of generalizations, I'm sure you could come up with a better example. But, to use yours: I have recognized the trend that six-teen year olds don't generally have babies. I have also never, in my experience, heard or seen a sixteen year old having a baby and it been a good thing for anyone involved. So I cannot believe that this one sixteen year old is going to be the exception to that. Done.
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It would be better if we knew more about the person but..we don't. It's wrong of people to jump to conclusions..but she is 16. I'm not surprised that people would tell her she's too young or immature..even if she isn't. She may be the most mature 16-year-old..or the complete opposite. We don't know..So wouldn't it be best if we gave her advice on what to do and try to influence her decision..(maybe she could change her mind)..INSTEAD of criticizing her..If you criticize, what good will that do? It'll only make her upset..and confused.
So the answer to your question::
Yes, I do think that people should put age aside and stop making assumptions. However, it's really hard to do that because most 16-year olds aren't ready for a baby..So I can understand why most people would want to convince her out of it.
Whatever she decides to do is her decision.
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heyy, yeah, sometimes age is a big factor depending on the question and how it is asked. this is an advice page. in the situation of a girl wanting a baby at 16 then thats her choice. and if she wanted us to fully understand more then her wanting a baby at 16 then she should of wrote more. at 16 you still have your life to live, learn lessons and mature. this is what these advice people are probably thinking about when they are answering. maybe she has a good situation and she'd be a good mother. we dont know that. if she dosent want to hear what people's responses are then she shouldnt ask. this is an advice page.
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