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humorist-workshop
Getting along with little brother
15, almost 16, female.
Little brother is 12 almost13.
we fight all the time. I try so hard to be nice. and most of the time I am nice. I am always sharing, and even if I getsomething new, I always share it, and I am tollerent of our different taste in music. He likes heavy rap and metal, and those are the two I despise. Although I enjoy love songs, they are not my favorite, he despises them tho.
I want to be a good big sister. I want him to come to me when he has a girlfriend, or when he has girl trouble, or something good to tell me. I want him to be able to come to me. Now when he needs to be driven to a friends house or somewhere with a friend, he despises when I drive, ( I have my permit) but, I know I need the practice so I can get my liscense, and My parents, of course, are with me, and they are okay with me driving my brother and his friends. But I will be getting my liscence in 5months, and I want him to want me to drive him. I want him to look up to me, and like it when I drive him or pick him up from places. I do try to set a good example too!!
Any tips? Is he just going through a stage? How can I be more tollerent when he is bad??
thank you so much in advance!!
-Kelsey-
k2204
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thats just how brothers are they try to have their own life and they think that they're cool and you're not and they try to get on your nerves b.c. they think its funny dont let it get you down he'll grow up and ya'll will h ave y our i love you moments!!! hope i helped
all the love
kylee shae
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well that i the diffrence between my brother and me and im 14 hes 16 same age difrence..thing is were the best friends in the family...we dont treat eachother like brother and sister we act like friend and friend..except sometimes haha...anyways if you him to treat you like a friend treat him like a friend...to come to you with problems..go to him with problems..ill grantee itll work..tell me if it works ok? bye
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I'd say to treat him as a friend rather than as your little brother. Reading about the way you think about your brother sounds almost like the way a parent would think about their son. Apparently, he doesn't like to be parented, so I would say to think of him more at an equal level. If he doesn't want to accept your support, there's no need for you give it anyways.
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My sister and I don't get along either. It's normal. He is at the age where he thinks he can't trust anyone, but there is a way to show him that him not being able to trust anyone is not true. You need to show him that he can trust you and come to you for help as well as his parents/guardians. Brothers are hard to get along with because they are messy and always doing the wrong thing but showing him if he makes a wrong choice without anyones help will affect his life in a bad way. For exaple if his friends are forcing him to smoke, he should come up to you and ask you what to do. I would try taking him out somewhere and having some fun with him and talking with him in private. He'll be glad to have a big sister who is always there for him. I call one of my close friends ( he is 12) my brother and it is hard to get throught to him because he feels like his pride and madhood is being squshed when he can't solve something on his own. Try not to pry into your brother's life too much and when he is mad give him his space. Then later talk to him in private and ask if there is anything you can do to help.
<3 Hope I helped. Good Luck.
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Sadly, it's possible to be too nice and I think that's what you're doing. You see sharing everything you have as simple kindness. He probably thinks you just let him do whatever he wants. With really little kids, if a parent gives them something they want just because they cry, the child learns that they get what they want by crying. Some people might disagree with me, but I don't think this is something we ever out grow. It's how we interact with people--we know what we want, and we figure out how to get it.
Now, understand that your brother is entering adolescence. This is a cruel period of one's life, as I'm sure you remember. He is turning from a child to an adult and needs space so that he can get to know himself better. He has new boundaries that you need to respect (I'm not saying you don't respect them, I'm just saying that you need to keep this in mind). He may feel you are smothering him. I say, give him his space. Don't totally ignore him, but don't seek him out either. Someone else said that you should wait to be asked. I agree. Let him come to you. He may not come to you directly. Have you tried to tell him that you want to be there for him? When did you tell him? He might have been in a perfectly good mood at the time and didn't want your advice. Wait until he seems to be really suffering to offer to your support.
Now as to him being "bad". I don't know exactly what you define as "bad", the only examples you gave are that he closes off to you (normal) and listens to tasteless music. If he is doing something serious, you should be tough about it. If he has gotten himself into a situation he can't handle, part of helping him through it would be to not go running to your parents. Often, parents will simply punish a child and not even listen to their point of view. This only leads to bad feelings. If your brother is ever caught in such a situation, you can tell him that you will help him through it (and then do so) and say that you don't think Mom and Dad need to know; it'll be your secret. I would be more specific, but you didn't imply that such a thing was going on. If it, feel free to ask me about it and I'll gladly give you the best advice I can.
good luck,
tasuki
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It sounds as if you and your brother are in a bit of a "round robin" situation. You need to stop and get off the whirlwind. Catch your breath. Take yourself to a quiet comfortable place (where no one will disturb you) and breath in slowly to the count of 8, then breath out slowly to the count of 8. Do this for as long as you can (at least 10 minuets at a time). Notice how you feel while you are doing this. Feel each breath as it goes in and out. Notice what parts of your body are tense for some reason. Then, start to release the tension in these areas one area at a time. At least try to get your entire body relaxed before moving on. The object here is to get your body into a relaxed state for as long as you possibly can before restlessness sets in. While you are in these states you can cocentrate on goals, your faith or anything you feel you want growth and accomplishment in. You can do this sitting or lying down. Take some time to disentangle the mess you have found yourself in. Answers won't come to you at first, but if you do this every time you feel overwhelmed and out of sorts you will begin to understand for yourself what is going on and how to handle it. I would wager that you already have an inkling about how to make things better. You're just not ready to perceive (acknowledge) it and that's OK. All good things come to us when we are ready. Do this little exercise I gave you as often as you can. You will soon find you are better able to handle that little brother of yours.
Something else that works for me is this. Ignore your brother. Don't listen to him. What I'm saying is don't let him get to you. I know, there are times where he will get to that button and maliciously grind away. At first this won't work, but keep practicing it. Eventually it will become second nature. I do that relaxing exercise, I explained earlier, in my head. If someone is yammering at me.....I start slowing down my breath. I still listen to them, but I start relaxing the parts of the body that happen to be tense. Once I feel relaxed I will respond. An interesting side note; the conversation in my head changes dramatically from my tense state to calmed relaxed state of mind. How I approach the problem is totally different from what it would have been had I responded immediately. Learn to do this and it will help you through many intense times.
Namaste,
LULABELLE
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Well, my sister and I are 10 years apart..this is the worst what you're going thru right now.We used to fight really bad, like everyday.But its totally different now,shes 23 and im 13.Were like best friends.Although, im not sure if it will be the same for you, because hes a guy, and wants to be cool (like every other guy is),and hes only 12 and youre alot older, almost 16, more mature, and out of the stage hes going through. Give it some time, when he's older I bet you guys will be friends because you sound like a great sister.I hope it all works out! ♥
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He's 12, Same age as me (Ima girl though)
I dont know what its like to have an exact older sibling (But i do have one)
He's going to through (Id never admit this too my parents tohugg,haha) ""Im 12, Almost 13 and i dont need you, I can rock out to my music, do what i want, aslong i fallow your rules"" stage of sort. But what i think would be most important, is talk with him. I mean dont go all sappy, on him. But tell him, "Im your older sister, And i really dont feel like it" And stuff you know.
And the only reasons he's being bad is beacause one hes a "teenage" boy. And too He may not feel comfortable with himself yet.. (I dont know, Im just going along with what i know from hanging with 12 years olds at school all day).. So yea.. Just give him a little talk.
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