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about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.

my forum
My FAQ

Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!

--Jack

advice

First off, I'm 21 years old. I'm not obsessively neat or anything but I do have this thing about checking things over and over again and worry that something horrible will happen if I fail to do something. For example, I set 4 alarm clocks because I think if I'm late to work, I'll be fired, even though I've never been late and know a first time offense doesn't warrant firing. This sounds weird, but I always check light switches and unplug everything in my bedroom before leaving for the day. I can't leave without doing that.

Another thing I do is replay in my head every conversation I've had that day and somehow manage to find something horrible I said or did in each one. For example, I was joking around with my boss today and now I'm being paranoid that maybe he didn't understand I was joking, even though he seemed to be laughing about it along with two of my co-workers, and will have it out for me from now on. This has me really, really worried right now.

There are dozens of other things that I won't list, but when is it the time to go to a doctor and what can they do for OCD if that's what I have? Does this sound normal, maybe? I don't want to have a disorder, especially OCD!

Checking things over again isn't necessarily OCD, but it could be. Like if there's a specific routine done a specific amount of times.

I'm certainly not a doctor, and really no one on here should be diagnosing you, but I think you're showing some signs of it.

Honestly, I think I have OCD, I have certain things I have to do for certain situations that are OCD-like. But it doesn't make me any different as a person.

The conversation thing doesn't sound OCD, because I think everyone does that. That's just wanting to make a good impression.

I would see a doctor. They'll know best.

--Jack
(17/m)

I heard that the head of the Oscar Mayer company died of age 95. I just assume the company was named after him and his name is Oscar Mayer, right? Yeah, might be stupid :/

Anyway, did anybody else hear about this and can fill me in on what happened? I think it's crazy lots of famous people are dying!

& In Memory!:

My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R
My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R
Oh, I love to eat it everyday,
And if you ask me why I'll say...
'Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way...
With B-O-L-O-G-N-A!

hahaha

Yup, he did.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/08/oscar-mayer-dead_n_227932.html

--Jack
(17/m)

Yeah, I saw tabloid things where they say Lindsay Lohan is dating Samantha Ronson but then other magazines say they announced they aren't dating. I even read they broke up before and, well, it's confusing. I liked Lindsay Lohan and thought she was a really pretty girl but WOW I didn't think she would be a lesbian, especially with someone like Samantha Ronson who isn't pretty at all. Anyway, just curious if she REALLY is dating the girl or if they're just best friends or something. I've been wondering for awhile so I'm sorry about being darn late and behind on the times!

She was on Ellen today and I guess they broke up, and so she actually is a lesbian, or maybe was trying it out?

No one really knows for sure except Lindsay. XD

--Jack
(17/m)

I heard that ex-NFL star Steve McNair passed away on Wednesday, I think. I work a lot and haven't gotten to watch TV for weeks, haha. I remember watching Steve McNair though before and I was curious how he died. I know lots of famous people have been dying and I was thinking maybe all the death was coming from swine flu or a serial killer aiming at celebrities--just something we've yet to uncover (but that's just me being paranoid, I'm sure; hey, I still think Michael Jackson could have been murdered and many people are suggesting he committed suicide!) Anyway, how did Steve McNair die for sure again?

Steve McNair was shot to death.

I don't know the details, just that he was shot.

--Jack
(17/m)

In the beginning (like the first four years) I was very into the idea of living together. Now, not so much! Things have changed like my daughter (22) had baby and they live with me right now. I don't want that to change until she is ready to make it completely on her own. I see that my boyfriend might someone who wants to be in control and I am not willing to give up that position. I know he wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter and the baby living with us. I have been married four times before and I am not so good at relationships if they are too close and now I've decided that living together is not the best choice. How do I tell him that I've changed my mind?

How do you tell him you've changed your mind? Tell him you've changed your mind.

Tell him everything you just told us. I know it might not be easy, but it has to be done or you're going to end up in a situation that will be harder to get out of than it would be to get out of it now.

Communication is key, and if you can't do that, the relationship has a problem.

--Jack
(17/m)

Okay. Im 14/F and he is 15/M. I really like him and could see myself dating him but we're hanging out this week and I'm super nervous. He's made out and stuff but I've never even kissed (he knows this and says he's okay with it) but he wants to kiss when we hang out... And he asked me if I would want to. I have two problems with that. 1. Its kinda like our first date right? I don't know if I want to kiss on a first date... Idk. And 2. I wouldn't know what to do! So I told him I didnt know if I would kiss him. Was this a good idea?

1. A first-date-kiss is alright, but sometimes it's special to wait a few more dates after it. Whatever you feel comfortable with is fine, really.

2. I've answered a question on how to kiss, like makeout, but maybe that's not what you're looking for.

Here's the link:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542507

And it's alright that you told him that you weren't sure what you were going to do; that's being honest and having good communication from the start and that's admirable. Some girls would just say nothing and then be pressured into doing things they don't want to do.

--Jack
(17/m)

A lot of celebrities died recently but I'm not sure if I caught everyone. I know, I know...it isn't really important or anything but I'm just curious. Michael Jackson's face is splattered all over the magazines so you can't really miss that. Billy Mays was a BIG shocker since he's been doing all of those infomercials for awhile. Farrah Fawcett died the same day as Michael Jackson so it was a little covered over with the news of the King of Pop passing away.

Anyway, what other celebrity died this past week or so that I may have missed? ... or was that it?

There were others, and Christina below kind of covered them all, but here's what I do when I want to know who has died recently:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deaths_in_2009

Haha.

--Jack
(17/m)

Ok. So if anyone could help me, that'd be great. I would like to work in a hospital for children. I'm not sure what I would like to do in the hospital though. I think maybe be a nurse or have something to do directly with the children. If anyone has any information whatsoever on any of these topics and ways i can contribute involving working in a children's hospital, please, do tell.

Thank you!

I'm not like an EXPERT, but you could go for Pre-Med, even though that's usually for doctors, but I guess you could still do it.

I would talk to your high school or college counselor what the right major is, because they will probably know better than anyone on here.

--Jack
(17/m)

We have to write a short story and I'm really good at English but not making my own stories. But I had thsi really vivid dream and when i think back, I can imagine it like a movie. If I use it, would it be considered cheating? Or should I just think of something else up? I'm not good with due dates when writing a story.

Your dream means it's your property.

I don't know why that would ever be "cheating".

I've gotten plenty of story ideas and whatnot in dreams, so go on and use them. =]

--Jack
(17/m)

well im 19 yrs old and im pregnat im probably like 2 months my boyfriend doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby i talked to his mom and she said she would support me. i kno i could just abort and get ir over with it but im against abortion idk what to do.

I don't think you should abort.

I've heard countless times about women who abort that end up feeling physically and emotionally sick about the choice they made.

Talk with your parents and his parents and work out a game plan. If your boyfriend won't do anything, I guess it's nice that his mom wants to help and support you.

--Jack
(17/m)

ok i am 13 nd this guy i lyke is 14. me n him want to make out. ive kissed b4 i hve neva made out!! ik its dumb bt i want to make out wit him sum1 tell me how to!!!

I know this sounds really lame, and I'm sure it is ;]

But just go with the flow. I don't really have experience in how to "properly" kiss, nor do I have experience with kissing at all! Can you say prude? ;]

Anyway- if it's your boyfriend/girlfriend- just be honest with him/her. Tell them you're nervous and you don't really know what you're doing. Apparently the people who are less-experienced is a big turn-on to some people.

Do what you feel comfortable with. If something feels awkward or uncomfortable, don't do it. If it feels right, ask the person if they are okay with that, and if they are- then you'll be fine.

There really isn't a CORRECT way to do it. Everyone does what they are comfortable with.

From my weak experience- this is what I can tell you:

1. Don't come on strong- it's really awkward for the other person.
2. Don't slobber all over the other person.
3. Don't stick your tongue all the way down their throat.

My friend on here, Laura, answered a question similar to this, and she gave a great answer. I will copy her answer, but know that credit goes to her.

www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542699

Honestly, you could read a book about it, and you'd probably forget everything once you went in for the kiss.

Explore. Do what feels right. Make it fun, playful, romantic, whatever you want it to be. Don't make it all about jamming your tongue down his throat, and try not to drool all over him, because it's generally less than desireable to do so.

If you come off as confident it'll be a lot more fun. If all evening you're thinking "Oh my gosh, this is going to be bad" you won't enjoy yourself. Follow his lead at first, if you're truly that nervous.

And really, it's almost impossible to find a truly bad kisser. If anything, they might do something you're not used to; give it a chance before you hate it. Who knows, he might be thinking the same thing right now about you!

Over time, you'll develop your own personal style of kissing/making out, and that's not a bad thing. Do whatever feels good/right to you, and gets a positive reaction. For example, some people love a gentle, or less than gentle, bite of the lip, "necking", and other techniques. Like I already said, experiment & make it fun!

From personal experience I'd advise that you brush your teeth and floss, and have some mild mints with you, like TicTacs. Fruity is usually good, and less overpowering. If you're at a party, don't worry too much about what you're eating if you're both eating the same things, but a huge plate of hummus & extra garlic is a bad choice right before kissing =P. That's where mints come in handy for both of you. Casually offer him one if he's been gorging on something stinky.

--Jack
(17/m)

i wont to die

Talk to friends, your parents, a counselor, a psychologist, or someone.

Suicidal thoughts can be fixed if they are talked out.

--Jack
(17/m)

14/f & 14/m (he'll be 15 in aug.)

so im going to try to keep this short and sweet.
my boyfriend and i try to see each other weekly but when we cant we txt. But lately he hasn't been txtin very much, towards me only. When this first happened i was so scared we were going to break up again, thenn i saw him later on that day and he showed absolutley no signs of breaking up, only more to love. He was very sweet wen we were togeether, so i thought he would keep txtin: still nothing. So...why doesn't he want to txt with me anymore?

[This was an answer I gave to a similar question, obviously try to adapt it to your situation.]

Just to warn you, I'm not yelling at you only, but all those out there on Advicenators who think that JUST because a guy doesn't text you first, it means he can't POSSIBLY like you.

I don't know what it is that makes people think this. Seriously, sometimes we guys don't feel like starting a conversation because we're not always into talking. Sometimes we are. It really just depends.

And something as little as texting, come on, texting, for goodness sake, shouldn't dictate whether a guy likes you or not. The fact that he talks to you should be good enough, you know?

Since I see texting as the lowest form of communication, other than telegrams and letters, I don't see it as a big deal that he doesn't text you first. Maybe he's just busy and doesn't regularly think: Oh dear, maybe I should text this girl or she might think I'm a jerk.

Guys don't think like that.

So aside from my rant, which has meaning, I think that you should only take offense if he doesn't start the conversation first, if the conversation is IN PERSON, not through text. Like if you clearly make eye contact and he doesn't at least say hello or some type of small-talk, then I would say he doesn't like you as any more than a friend.

--Jack
(17/m)

I supposed to have my period today, but I didn't get it. All I know is that during the ovulation I was very worried because of exams. My breast hurt me a bit...when my period is due to they hurt me. Is it possible that my period is due to??

I didn't have sex, my bf only touched my vagina and breast (we had clothes on, so sperm couldn't get into my vagina if he had an orgasm right?)

What could it be? It is only late by 1 day.

You're a teenager; your period is hardly ever completely regular.

One day late is nothing to fret over. And if you stress about it, it will cause it to delay more.

Just be patient.

--Jack
(17/m)

how likely is it to get pregnant from pre cum...are the chances like pretty low, or is it about as likely as cum?

The chances are low, but there is still a possibility.

Please be responsible.

--Jack
(17/m)

I heard of someone who their boyfriend had cold sores on his mouth and he ate her out. Then one day she saw sores on her vagina and they turned into the STD herpes. Is that true?

Yes, this can happen.

I don't know the names of the herpes, but I know it changes from the Herpes Simplex 1 [I think?] from your mouth to the STD when it comes into contact with.. yeah.

--Jack
(17/m)

ok so basically this is how it went.
I got off my period, a week later I was having sex with my fiance. He pulled out and came on my vagina, not in it but on it. I rubbed it a litle. Later on, during the week I believe I've been ovulating, I had sex with him and he pulled out and ejaculated on me and I rubbed it in me. I am 23 years old, have my own house and we're gettin married soon, so please don't lecture me (no offence). I just want to know, even though he didn't come in me but I still rubbed and fingered the sperm in me during my ovulation time, can I still get pregnant like if he did come in me?

Sex means pregnancy.

With a condom or without.

On your period or not.

Came inside you or not.

Came outside you or not.

Does this make sense? The only way to prevent pregnancy FOR SURE is completely abstain from sex. So, any time you have sex, you risk getting pregnant.

--Jack
(17/m)

hey i cannot stop masturbating and i need help. I dont finger I just rub ... BUT i want 2 stop cause it is almost 24/7 now!.....also i want to know the risks of masturbating! like the effects.. BUT i am a virgin and i have never had Se x. So what are my odds and how can i stop doing it?? ANSWER A>S>A>P PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

F/15

There aren't really any "effects", but if you get too addicted and it starts affecting your daily life and relationships with people, that's when it's a problem.

--Jack
(17/m)

Is it weird if I get emotional when I (18/f) or my boyfriend (22/m) say I love you? I can say it without getting emotional most of the time, but sometimes if I really get to thinking about it, and what it means to me I sometimes cry. Not a huge blubbery cry but I definitely tear up for a couple minutes. Is this weird lol? Or is it just because I honestly mean it?

I think maybe it's because you honestly mean it, and it's a sentimental thing for you to say.

There's nothing wrong with being emotional.

--Jack
(17/m)

ok. so i don't want to say that i'm boy crazy, but it's just that i always find wonderful things in every guy. and there are so many fish in the sea. but i kind of want a boyfriend. so what are some ways i can decide what kind of guy would be good?
-the weird, nice, funny artistic one
-the sweet romantic, but boring one
-the boy in the band,funny,nice,cute

No guy is perfect.

"Weird" is such an immature word, sorry. Honestly, I'm weird, ask any of my friends. But that doesn't make me less datable than anyone else. Weird can be good. Remember that.

Boring is such a cliche word. I'm boring. We're ALL boring. But no one is ALWAYS boring. Is he boring when he's sweet and romantic?

I guess since you have problems with boring and weird, you might as well go after the band kid, but eventually you're going to have to realize that everyone has "faults" and no one is 100% compatible.

--Jack
(17/m)

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