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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
how acceptable are erections on nude beaches how do i keep from getting one?
The Answer
It just happens. Many males, especially younger ones, get spontaneous erections in totally non-sexual situations. So yes, guys get hard on nude beaches and once you've seen it a couple dozen times it stops being a big deal.
It does depend on the beach however how acceptable it is and American beaches are more likely to discourage it then European or Canadian beaches as part of their belief that nudism is totally non-sexual. But Nudism, or Naturalism or Naturism, is about body acceptance, so anxiety about an erection is counter-productive and this attitude from nudists is hypocritical as an erect penis is just as natural as a flaccid one.
There is no really good way to make sure it doesn't happen but the good news is your anxiety about it makes it much much less likely to happen. It is true that nudism practiced on any of these beaches is non-sexual, and most people will say you sort of forget people are nude after a while. But if it does happen and you feel uncomfortable, just be tactful about it. You can just ignore it or you can go in the water. If you're sunbathing, you roll over on your stomach for a while or throw a towel or your shorts on (it is clothing optional after all, take the option.) Or really just do anything that indicates that you're not threatening or trying to pursue someone, and you'll be just fine. In fact, if you just act normal talking to your friends or doing whatever you were doing and don't parade around striking poses for the whole beach, you'll find that the vast majority of people will ignore it.
Make sure to have fun!
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The Question
Do you guys think it's weird that my parents grounded my brother who's 21(I actually think it's funny)?
He's staying with us for a few weeks and he got a $300 citation for punching a guy on the beach yesterday. My dad didn't actually say the words "you are grounded" but he won't let him do anything. I mean he is an adult and everything haha.
My dad and brother have been arguing all morning because of it and I don't think my dad is right because my brother would have paid for it on his own. I want to say something but I just wanted a few opinions before I do so.
The Answer
Your brother was going to have to pay for that citation on his own whether he was 21 or 12. Your dad doesn't sound like the kind of fool who would pick up the bill cause his son had a testosterone fit.
I am a firm believer in: Their House = Their Rules.
I am 21 and in my home I eat things I'm allergic too, I loose the remote control, I have soda by the computer, and I have noisy sex with my boyfriend. In my parent's home I am not allowed to do anything of those things, and that's just the way it is.
If your brother misbehaved while at your parents home I say they are well within their rights to say he can't use their car, or have friends over, or be out terribly late. He isn't a tenant, he doesn't have 'rights' to their things or their kindness. He is their son and he did something that has proven he isn't responsible enough to handle that kind of freedom.
While I agree telling a twenty-one year old he can't walk to the corner store or go out for dinner is a little laughable, refusing to facilitate his bad behavior is a responsibility of parents no matter what the age of their child is. If your kid screws up, you try to make it so they can't screw up more!
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The Question
My foreskin maybe too tight. So I need to see a doctor do do a minor incision. No its not circumcision. But when I stretch my foreskin ''outward'' beyond the head of my penis, I can feel something like a line connected to god's know where. Anyway, do you think it will be wise if I take an enlargement pill assuming that the pill works? Plus, do other guys' penis' foreskin retract naturally when erected or you had to be circumcise?
The Answer
No it would not be wise to take a penis enlargement pill. Not only have I never heard of a single one actually working, but also if they did work, it might increase the girth and length of your penis, but not the foreskin. Then you'd have an even bigger problem (hehehe) then you currently do.
Yes, although I can't speak for all males, my education has taught me the foreskin nearly always retracts when erect to cover the lengthened shaft of the penis.
I have actually known a man whose foreskin was in fact too tight and who did end up have a circumcision. He experienced a bit of loss of sensation but all and all was better off for the operation.
Good Luck, and don't take anything unless a doctor gives you the go ahead.
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The Question
I can get my horse on the bit, but i cant keep him on it unless he's really calm. Like, if i was just at a slow trot and getting him into a canter he comes off the bit and have to get him back on it. If anyone knows anyway tofix this, please help! ( ihave a competition in a couple of weeks!)
Meggy
The Answer
Honestly dear, you'll really need to get your trainer or an advanced rider to take a look at your transition to realize exactly what the problem is. It is nearly impossible for me to deduce the difficulty without seeing you, but I will tell you what your problem sounds similar to...
If your horse can't stay on the bit through a canter transition, it's probably you who is having difficulty staying calm, not him. What I have seen, time and time again, is the rider's leg shifting through the transition, normally too far forward, in an attempt to keep the contact with their butt that the had while they were sitting-trot (which is good, but only one part of the equation). When your leg goes forward you begin to balance yourself on the reins making your horse very uncomfortable (if your horse is throwing his head or holding his breath at all during the canter, you are probably doing this.) In essence the horse looses the support of your lower leg and the impulsion it was giving him that pushed him into the bit.
Make sure your lower leg is it's proper position throughout the transition, do not stop supporting your horse simply because he is going faster. Any well school horse will take care of his own head, if you just take care of maintaining a proper seat.
If your horse feels like he is getting heavy on the forehand for goodness sake do NOT pull on his mouth. The better thing to attempt is to lighten the contact with his mouth WITHOUT losing your seat. I don't mean loosen the reigns, only shift your hands ever so slightly forward. Pulling is punishment, and causes stress in you both but lightening contact tells the horse "You better find your balance on your own."
But I'll say it once more. Those are just my ideas. You really NEED to have someone take a look at you and your horse, specifically your transition into canter to see what the problem really is. For all I know your position might be perfect and your horse simply confused about what is expected or stiff in the canter...
Good Luck.
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The Question
I've known my bestfriend since 7th grade (we're now both juniors) and we're the closest two friends can get and I love her to death.
Our freshman year, we'd always hear about this girl Meagan and how slutty and bitchy she is. Meagan is a grade ahead of us. Well, 2nd semester of freshman year my bestfriend had a class with her but only for about a week because she got switched out.
Last year, my sophomore year, I was in a class with her for the whole year and at fisrt I didn't like her because of the things I've heard but we started talking and she wasn't that bad. Yeah, some of the rumors were true but she was still a good, fun friend. Now we're really good friends. Not as good as my bestfriend and I, but nevertheless, friends.
So whenever I'm with my bestfriend, and I talk about Meagan, she gives me this disgusted look and talks smack about her. I tell her to shut up and not talk about people she doesn't know and then that's the end of it.
Meagan and I are going to a concert in July and I asked my bestfriend if she wanted to come with us because I know she likes that band. Well, she told me that if Meagan is going, she isn't.
How can I get her to stop being so judgmental and at least try to actually meet her?
The Answer
I say if your friend wants to be that way just because she has heard bad things about Meagan, let her. She will miss out on meeting a great person and going to a great concert.
Tell your friend it's too bad she won't come to the concert with you and Meagan, it'll be fun, and leave it at that.
And next time she has nasty things to say about Meagan, ignore her or better yet, walk away from her. She can think what she wants, but there is no reason you need to listen to such bull. If she wont even meet the girl, there isn't any reason to take what she says about her seriously.
I would be nice if there was something you could say to make your friend realize how mean and unjust she is being, but honestly I think the best way to make her realize what a jerk she is being, is to treat her like a jerk.
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The Question
If a girl is masterbating, can she make herslef cum? or have an orgasum?? and does that mean her cherry popped??
The Answer
In short...
Yes a girl can make herself orgasm while masturbating.
No that does not mean her cherry popped. 'Cherry' refers to a thin piece of skin inside the vagina called the hymen that it broken during vaginal intercourse. Most women do not reach that deeply inside their vagina while masturbating, so although it is possible for a girl to break her own hymen, it doesn't happen too often.
Just having an orgasm doesn't mean the hymen is broken, the two things are wholly unrelated.
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The Question
k, I spent a good chunk of last month at the multinational training center doing gunnery and other army activities. it mostly involved firing the fifty cal machine gun, and vietnam-style wargames against live opposing forces. last weekend, I did this extremely hot lithuanian girl. here's the problem: I got a bigger rush and had a better time running around the german forest wildly firing at anything that moved than having my way with this girl. I'm thinking that's a little messed up. I don't really leave post much, spend a lot of time training, and don't really see many girls (the lunchladies are starting to look hot). is it just an environmental factor showing itself after eight months of nonstop hooah army stuff, or is this a more deep seated psychological issue? And no, I'm not gay.
The Answer
Throwing yourself whole head and heart into something is nothing to worry about, at least not at this stage. I often find when I'm really enjoying my work that I'm either happy without any sort of relationship or sex, or that I'm irritated by the time my partner expects me to take away from the job I love and spend with them.
You are in a highly controlled environment where you don't have the time to think about the opposite sex unless you make the time. If you are enjoying what you are doing and thinking about, why would you bother to make time?
Maybe you are just not that into her. That's not crime. Just make sure to take some R and R when you need it and you sound a-okay to me.
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The Question
my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and my sister and my 4 year old niece and 2 year old nephew moved in becouse they got kicked out becouse they couldn't pay the rent in their apartment and now I have to share a room with 3 people 4 people counting me I ended up sleeping on the couch and they got my room which I don't think is fair at all and we only have 1 bathroom so I have no privacy and I think at 17 I need all the privacy that I can get what should I do?
The Answer
I shared a bedroom with two other girls when I was seventeen, one girl was twelve and the other was six. It wasn't always fun but we made it work. One of the compromises that we made was that I got the room all to myself for an hour and a half after dinner each day, so I could call my friends, do homework, write in my diary or just listen to music in peace. If possible try to negotiate something similar. You'll be shocked how much calmer and happier you are if you just get an hour or so to yourself each day.
I agree with you that it isn't very fair you've been kicked out of your own bed. But just because something isn't fair doesn't mean it's not necessary. Toddlers really can't sleep on a couch safely, but a seventeen-year old can. However, if you are going to keep sleeping on the couch I think you'd be completely right to ask your parents to hang up a thick curtain across that side of the room so you have some privacy when you sleep, and let you make yourself comfortable with your own pillow and beddings and some of your own stuff, posters, cd player or such, around you.
All of these things, the time alone, the curtain for privacy and anything else you can think of that will help make you more comfortable are things you should be able to discuss calmly with your parents and big sister. Don't scream or yell or make demands or talk about the things you think you have a 'right' too. Discuss the fact you are getting frustrated because you don't have any alone time and tell them the ideas you have that could make you less cranky and more pleasant to be around.
But honestly dear, you don't NEED privacy. Privacy makes life better and more enjoyable but you don't NEED it the way that your sister and her children NEED a place to live right now. What they are going through is awful and you are an absolute saint for opening up your life and home to them and I'm certainly not saying that they shouldn't be trying to make this easier for you, but when you talk them about this situation try to remember that these people are your family, that you love each other and that everyone is having a tough time right now.
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The Question
Hey there,
You seem to know what your talking about. Your advice was great.
The problem is I would really like to be on birth control but I live with my grandparents and my grandma is really strict.
There is no way she would let me go on the pill.
I've been with my boyfriend a year and she really likes him but she gives me all these rules and regulations. Why can't she see that i'm growing up and no one is that nieve anymore?
How can I ask her to go on the pill??
The Answer
Allo again. Just to tell you if you ever ask a follow-up-ish question like this it's really helpful to include a link to the first question. Questions are anonymous so most columnists can only guess what question it is they've answered of yours before.
I'm afraid dear that this isn't about you growing up or about the naivety of the world. This is about your relationship with your grandmother and your choices when it comes to sex.
Only you can decide what approach will work best in your situation, but I'm gonna present a few options for you.
There is the truth.
Tell your grandmother you have been or will become sexually active and you'd like to go on the pill, that this is the responsible thing for you to do and you hope she will support you even though you know she doesn't agree with you.
She might forbid you from going on the pill in an attempt to protect you from what she sees as a deeply harmful act. If she flats out forbids you from taking the pill, I'd say you are out of luck: Her house, her rules. (To this very day I do not have sex in my parents' home. Actually, I'm not even allowed to be alone in a room with my boyfriend with the door closed. I'm twenty-one and think these rules are moronic, but I obey them anyways.)
There is the half-truth.
I had a friend who told their mother in complete honesty that they wanted their periods to become more regular, and knew the pill would do that.
Another approach would be to tell your grandmother you are going to make a doctors appointment for a physical and pelvic exam (it is recommended you have a pelvic exam at the age of 18 and it is necessary to have one before most doctors will give you a prescription for the pill) and then speak to your doctor about birth control while you are there.
Then of course, there is the flat out lie. Visit Planned Parenthood some afternoon, tell her you need a doctor's appointment for your earache, and swear up and down that you aren't having sex.
If you think that there is even the slightest chance of calmly and rationally convincing your grandmother of allowing you to go on the pill, I would go with the truth. Yes, you have a responsiblity to protect yourself and I can see how it could be justified going behind her back, but I just don't think it would be worth it.
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The Question
ok so i have a girlfriend and she loves me to death and i love her too but we've been together fer almost a year. Things are starting to wind down and my g/f is noticing that and she's affraid of us breaking up. What if it gets so bad that we never see each other anymore. I will admit that i'm kinda un-falling in love. i'm starting to not love her day by day because i'm noticing all these things that she does because she knows me too well. it gets annoying sometimes tho i liked it better when we were complete strangers ( well not complete strangers). If it gets that we just grow appart how would i break up with her because if i do she'll be crying her eyes out. she does that everytime she thinks we are falling apart. how do i break up with her without all the tears?
HELP ME
sincerely, someone u don't know
The Answer
You don't.
I'm sorry, but no matter how kindly, softly, politely you attempt to break up with this girl, she is probably going to cry. Unless you mislead her somehow, or refuse to do it face-to-face, you are going to have to be prepared for tears.
Very few girls don't cry while being dumped (actually a good number of guys I've known cry as well when that happens to them.) If you can't deal with the tears darling, then you are stuck with her.
I suppose you could avoid the messy scene by dumping her via e-mail, a text message, an aim conversation, or (at the very best) a handwritten letter, but none of those are terribly respectable.
So unless the cowardly approach appeals to you, you'll just have to stuck it up and be honest with her. Try to keep it short and be straightforward. Don't let her cling to pointless hope if you know the relationship is truly dead. Repeat yourself as much as necessary, even if it only causes more tears. It is also very helpful when dumping someone to have someplace to be afterwards, a ride coming, a class to get to, a work shift to get to or so on… Something that means the conversation must end and can't be dragged on for hours.
The sad fact is, dumping someone is one of those life skills no one really wants to have, but everyone learns sooner or later. Do yourself a favor, take the highroad, keep your dignity and just deal with dumping this girl in a respectful, face-to-face way, and hope you'll never have to call on the experience again.
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The Question
What is deuching???
The Answer
As far as I can figure there is no such word in the English language as deuch.
I think you might mean a douche, which is a solution of water and vinegar or water and medication that is sprayed inside the vagina to clean it. (No woman ever needs to use a douche unless it is by a doctor's orders.)
Douche bag or douching is also commonly used as an insult.
I hope that is some help. If that wasn't the word you are looking for I'll feel quite silly, but the next closest is deucing, which is just a tennis term.
EDIT: I suddenly feel the need to clarify.
Douching is NOT a form of birth control. Trying to remove sperm from your body in this way is a bad idea, because although it does remove some sperm it also breaks down your body's natural defenses against sperm, making it easier to conceive.
Douching is NOT a really good idea, ever. The inside of vagina does not need to be cleaned. If you are healthy it keeps itself clean. Douching upsets the balance of bacteria in the vagina and can lead to infections AND women who douche are 70% more likely to develop cancer in their pelvic regions.
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The Question
Young Grandma has already been on the featured cloumnist before like a few weeks ago. How is she able to be on there more than once? Not saying I don't like her advice, I"m just wondering.
The Answer
Check it out: http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?f=31
A script, not a person, selects the featured columnist. I imagine it's because Younggrandma updates so regularly that makes her so likely to be selected by the script.
Love ya YG!
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The Question
I was wondering if there was any possible way to get pregnant if sperm gets on your clothes or in your underwear, but not directly inside of you? Example if someone is fingering you and you both get really into it. Thanks.
The Answer
There is a very slim chance that you can get pregnant from sperm left on your underwear. Theres is a slightly better chance that you might get pregnant from sperm on a finger that is fingering you.
The person below me however, who suggested that sperm dies when it hits air, has earned my wrath, but I will not type here what I am saying out loud about that moronic idea, only say that it is absolutely FALSE. The vagina is not a vacuum you know. There is air in there and somehow women still get pregnant. That is because sperm DOES NOT DIE WHEN IT HITS AIR.
The truth is: Sperm can survive several HOURS outside of the human body and nearly a WEEK within it.
So, if someone who wants to finger you has cum on their hands, ask them to wash their hands first. If you get cum on your underwear, remove them. Although the chances of getting pregnant in these ways is very slim, better safe then sorry.
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The Question
Hi, I'm an 18/f, from Australia. Recently my boyfriend and I of a year have started to have sex. I'm not on any kind of birth control but we always use protection. How affective is the condom and what are the chances of me getting pregnant?
Also I am finding it hard to have an orgasm during sex. I can see that it upsets my boyfriend and it kind of upsets me too. We've been having sex for the last 3months so when will I have an orgasm?
Thanks for your help :)
The Answer
I don't know where some of these columnists are getting their information on condoms, but sesh, damn near ridiculous.
The condom is 98% effective WHEN it is used correctly. So check out this site for the proper use of a condom: http://www.feelconfident.co.uk/condoms/how_to_put_on_a_condom.htm
Learn it. Memorize it. Live by it. Sex is always risky, but condoms are quite effective if you just use them the way they are meant to be used.
So you don't believe my numbers kiddos? Take a gander:
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/condoms.htm
http://www.metrokc.gov/health/apu/infograms/condom99.htm
http://www.coolnurse.com/sex_faqs20.htm
http://www.justrubbers.com/info/studies.html
http://www.classbrain.com/artteensb/publish/article_123.shtml
http://www.cdc.gov/HIV/pubs/facts/transmission.htm
http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/1997/conceptbl.html
All of these sites list the effectiveness of condoms as 97 â?? 99% effective when used properly. That last two are from government sites, the Center for Disease Control and the FDA respectively. FDA has the lowest effectiveness rating of condoms at 97%.
The citation that the condom is only 90% or so effective is taken from a study done by the FDA in 1996 (it has since been updated and I don't know where the hell 80% came from) and that study didn't take into account people who didn't use them properly, used them past the expiry date, or didn't use them every single time they had sex.
I'm not disputing that birth control is a more effective choice in preventing pregnancy, it certainly is but condoms are proven to be at the very least 97% effective when used correctly. No lower.
(I'm sorry if it feels like I'm ranting at you babe. The misinformation that so many of the young people who have answered your question have has really upset me.)
As for the orgasms. Lots of women have difficulty reaching an orgasm during vaginal sex, so don't stress out or punish yourself for that. You aren't alone.
If you masturbate, or pleasure yourself in anyway, it would be a good idea to share your technique with your boyfriend. Doing something similar to what you already know you like will certainly help.
If you don't pleasure yourself, I honestly suggest you get on that. It is the best way by far to learn what it is that brings you to a climax.
Lastly, tell your boyfriend to stop being 'upset'ed by your lack of orgasm. The more pressure or guilt you feel over this, the more tense you will become and the more difficult it will be to orgasm.
So relax. Don't rush yourself. Play around and experiment in bed until you find out what it is you like. When you do like something, for goodness sake tell the boy! You are the only one who knows what it is that really turns you on and makes you feel great, so make sure you tell your boyfriend what those things are. If you need to grab him and put him where you want him in order to really enjoy yourself, do it. Don't be ashamed of what it is or how long it takes. Your pleasure is important to both of you, so focus on it for a while rather then rushing to the intercourse act.
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The Question
If it is you and your partners first time having sex ever, is it even possible for one of you to get an std from the partner?
The Answer
Yes, it could still happen.
Although it's extremely unlikely for either of you to have an STD if neither of you have engaged in sexual activities of ANY kind (including touching the genitals or oral sex) with anyone else, ever, there is still the slim possibility that one of you might carry something without knowing it, or have been exposed to an STD in some other way.
Sex is risky business. NEVER assume it's perfectly safe because it is NEVER perfectly safe. Take care of yourself.
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The Question
I am divorced and my son spends most of his time with his mother. I asked my son if he wanted to go to a Mets game with me (we both love baseball). At first he said yes, then a few days later he asked me if one of his friends could come along. My problem: I don't get to spend a lot of time with my son, and I was looking forward to the game as a chance for us to spend time together. I know that if his friend comes along I will feel like a "fifth wheel". My son spends a lot of time with his friends, and I don't think it is necessary for him to bring his friend along. What should I do?
The Answer
Tell him you'd like it to just be a father and son day because you don't get to see him much.
It's really that simple and I doubt your son will take it too hard. At his age he might have a bit of trouble realizing that his father has feelings too and just a need a little reminder.
If this does upset him for some reason you'll need to figure out why that is. But I would bet him asking to bring a friend was just a moment of teenage self-involvement. Mentioning that it is something that is important to you too will probably make him understand.
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The Question
My parents will no longer let me hang out with one of my friends. I don't even see why. She's very respectful and nice. They just don't like her for some reason. How can I make them let me hang out with her again? She's a really good friend and I don't want to lose her. I will rate any1 who helps. So please help. Thank you in advance.
The Answer
I think it will be very difficult to convince your parents of anything until you figure out what their problem with your friend is. You are not an infant, so you have a right to know why this rule is being imposed on you. Stay calm and explain to them that it isn't rational or fair to insist you cut a good, kind person out of your life without some sort of explanation. They should give you a reason. No one, not even parents, can expect an intelligent teenager to obey a rule like that without a good justification.
After you've discovered their problem then you can negotiate. Maybe all the really want is you not to go over to her home, or maybe they will be okay if you hang out with her if there are other people they do trust about. Once you figure out what their problem is, you can try and figure out how to solve it.
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The Question
Is it normal to have a little bit of hair around your nipple area? or is it like, completely discusting? Thanks!
The Answer
Totally normal.
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The Question
Well how to make a long story short? OK first.. Yesterday was my boyfriend’s birthday, all his friends including me and my best friend went out for drinks to celebrate with him. When my best friend (it’s a girl) left for a different club, I went after her, because she was a bit tipsy and I didn’t want her to be on her own.
Then when my boyfriend arrived, he came up to me and just told me that I picked my friend over him and that it is over (he stated it MUCH worse). Yeah I know it was his Birthday, but he was busy with his friends. Should I just let it go? I mean how insecure can someone be if they are jealous of you friend???
The Answer
Your friend needed you, if he couldn't deal with that then you are right, he is insecure and hardly worth your time. Maybe you didn't deal with it the best way possible, telling and explaining it before hand to him, trying to send someone else with your friend, or trying to stall your friend till everyone could go, but in the end the worst you might have done is made a mistake.
Maybe when he cools down he will see how badly he behaved and how much he over-reacted. If not, maybe he'll go find a girl who cares about nothing in the world but him and never ever makes any tough decisions without asking her boyfriend for permission. Wish him good luck and don't shed too many tears.
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The Question
i'm getting married soon to this wonderful guy. we've been together a few years and he's really wonderful. there's only one slight problem. i've done stuff with other guys, but i've never had sex. i've always promised myself to save it for my wedding night. my partner, on the otherhand, has had sex with several girls. this sorta bothers me because i know our first time together isn't going to be as special for him as with me, because he's already had other girls before me to compare to, and everyone knows your first time is the most special too. i'm just so jealous when i think of the other girls who got there before me and who had him.
for some reason i always ask him about his other girlfriends because of curiosity but when i find out more it upsets me. but i still want to know more. it makes no sense. i know he really loves me, but i always want to know if he loved them too and every detail of their relationship. i can't seem to focus on the present. i don't speak to my ex boyfriends but he speaks to his past girlfriends. we even ran into one once and they got on so well i felt so dreadful.
i don't know why i feel like this. i have a wonderful guy yet i'm letting these stupid worries ruin our relationship. why do i feel like this and what can i do?
The Answer
Everyone knows the first time is most special? Darling, who is this everyone you speak off? What my everyone knows is that your first time is almost always awkward and uncomfortable…
I think what you need to accept and accept quickly, is that these feelings of jealously have no basis in reality. They are in your head and they are your problem. Your fiancé doesn't really come into this; the whole issue is taking place inside your own brain.
You need to STOP imagining that your fiancé has feelings that he doesn't say he has! That is worse then putting words in his mouth. Imagining that your first time together will be less special to him or that his relationship with you is somehow less important because of his past is offering him a gigantic insult.
He is marrying you! Do you think so little of him that he is the kind of guy who would go through with a marriage where he wasn't completely in love, devoted and satisfied? How you could you marry a man if you thought that he was perpetrating such a charade?
Your fiancé isn't doing anything wrong. He didn't do anything wrong in sleeping with other women before you, and he isn't doing anything wrong in remaining civil with them.
Next time you have a jealous thought; don't let it run away with you. Don't run it over and over again, don't let yourself imagine the gory details (the gory details of his past relationships are actually none of your business, unless they are directly effecting something happening in the present, stop asking about them) instead repeat this over and over in your head until you get it "He loves me. He is going to be with me forever. These feelings are unrealistic and pointlessly harmful."
If you trust him, then trust him. If you love him, then love him, and give him permission to love you.
If talking to him about these feelings and hearing his reassurances will help you, then by all means do. But make sure the conversation is about you and him and the way you two feel now, not about the past.
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