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Hey there,
You seem to know what your talking about. Your advice was great.
The problem is I would really like to be on birth control but I live with my grandparents and my grandma is really strict.
There is no way she would let me go on the pill.
I've been with my boyfriend a year and she really likes him but she gives me all these rules and regulations. Why can't she see that i'm growing up and no one is that nieve anymore?
How can I ask her to go on the pill??
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Allo again. Just to tell you if you ever ask a follow-up-ish question like this it's really helpful to include a link to the first question. Questions are anonymous so most columnists can only guess what question it is they've answered of yours before.
I'm afraid dear that this isn't about you growing up or about the naivety of the world. This is about your relationship with your grandmother and your choices when it comes to sex.
Only you can decide what approach will work best in your situation, but I'm gonna present a few options for you.
There is the truth.
Tell your grandmother you have been or will become sexually active and you'd like to go on the pill, that this is the responsible thing for you to do and you hope she will support you even though you know she doesn't agree with you.
She might forbid you from going on the pill in an attempt to protect you from what she sees as a deeply harmful act. If she flats out forbids you from taking the pill, I'd say you are out of luck: Her house, her rules. (To this very day I do not have sex in my parents' home. Actually, I'm not even allowed to be alone in a room with my boyfriend with the door closed. I'm twenty-one and think these rules are moronic, but I obey them anyways.)
There is the half-truth.
I had a friend who told their mother in complete honesty that they wanted their periods to become more regular, and knew the pill would do that.
Another approach would be to tell your grandmother you are going to make a doctors appointment for a physical and pelvic exam (it is recommended you have a pelvic exam at the age of 18 and it is necessary to have one before most doctors will give you a prescription for the pill) and then speak to your doctor about birth control while you are there.
Then of course, there is the flat out lie. Visit Planned Parenthood some afternoon, tell her you need a doctor's appointment for your earache, and swear up and down that you aren't having sex.
If you think that there is even the slightest chance of calmly and rationally convincing your grandmother of allowing you to go on the pill, I would go with the truth. Yes, you have a responsiblity to protect yourself and I can see how it could be justified going behind her back, but I just don't think it would be worth it.
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