"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
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Are there any good online jobs? If so, please post a link.
Thanks (link)
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There are lots of great, legitimate online jobs but there are a lot of requirements you have to meet. Most of the real online jobs will require you to be at least 18 years of age for legal reasons.
Some jobs will require you to supply your own computer and internet connection. Some of them have very strict regulations on some basic things like your computer specs or the fact that it needs to be a laptop or a desktop computer. (Most seem to prefer you to own a desktop, by the way)
You have to treat them as any other job though. There will be applications to fill out. There will be resumes to be sent in. There will be phone interviews. There will be training. You will be expected to actually work, show up on time, and do you duties every day you're scheduled.
That being said, here are a few places to start in your online job search:
http://www.ratracerebellion.com/CS_Comparison.html
http://www.workathomeandlovingit.com/work-at-home-jobs.html
There are also work at home job forums you can get some quick tips from:
http://workathome.finddiscussion.com/
http://www.wahm.com/forum/
http://www.whydowork.com/forums/
A key to finding a successful work at home job position:
Never, never, never accept a job that requires you to purchase items or give a fee!
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guy and girl help pleasee!
So this guy and i were close to having sex, but i discovered several times that he is really hard to cum! I've gotten him to like once, and its been for forever! how can i change that? and make him come after me without throwing myself completely out there? like drive him crazy, but not make it look like i'm trying to ? i'm pretty., i know i am. i have guys at me all the time.. and i know he is attracted to me, he's showed it.. i'm not trying to be cocky.. and conceited.. but can anyone help??? please and thank you(: (link)
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Ask him what turns him on the most.
Nearly everyone has fantasies that you can play off of and drive him wild.
Though, if you aren't actually having sex with him then I'm not sure how you know it takes such a long time for him to get off.
Blowjobs, head, sucking is all oral SEX.
Handjobs simulate sex but they aren't the same as having the penis actually inside of the vagina. You could actually be incredibly bad at jacking off a guy, especially if he's too shy or kind to say you're not very talented with your hands. Then again, there is really only so much you can do with your hands, with or without lubricant, and if you don't personally have the same "equipment" then it's very possible that you're practically clueless about what he likes and thinks feels best.
If he has actually came with just looking at you then he is actually pretty easy to get off. Highly doubtful this is what you're talking about though.
There is only so much you can do without going all the way.
Nobody likes a tease.
Nobody likes a slut either.
You're just going to have to ask yourself what your standards, morals, and level of self-respect are and go from there. If you REALLY want to drive him wild and get him to cum easily then it will probably entail having penis-in-vagina intercourse with him. Are you really willing to be that type of girl just to make a boy notice you more? :\
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hey my name is evan im 15/m
girls i just want to know why do you hit guys in the junk? im 15 and it happens to me all the time from girls and guys. i see no reason for it. it makes us feel sick. and it hurts like hell. is it funny to you to see us men in pain or hear our voices crack and get high from it? or make us cry? why would you do that to people? i would never hit a girl so why would you hit me? you have no idea how much it hurts to get punched in the nuts. do u think that just because im a man i deserve to be in that much pain? (link)
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Wow. I am pretty embarrassed that I am on this site with some very ignorant females below.
Getting hit in the balls is not the equivalent to giving birth.
Getting hit in the balls is not the equivalent to having a period.
Getting hit in the balls is not the equivalent to having menstrual cramps.
A lot of women have no respect for men. They are taught that the world revolves around them. They are taught that because they are female that they have some special, deserved rights.
Some women find it hilarious to cause men pain. They justify it by saying it's equal to having a period or giving birth to a child. The truth is, they just want to hurt a man so that they feel more powerful. These women do not even grasp the understanding of equality while they attend protests for equal rights. (Note: I am not saying that all feminists do this or enjoy causing men pain!)
A man who has recently gotten hit in the balls is nearly powerless. Many fall to the ground and clutch their testicles. I've seen grown men cry from the pain.
It's a power play. It's the easiest vulnerable spot that a malicious woman can get to. They want to feel powerful against you for whatever reason. It makes them feel better about themselves. They don't feel guilt about causing you pain. As a matter of fact, it makes them feel good inside that they caused you to suffer.
In my entire lifetime, I've only kicked one man in the balls on purpose. He was humiliating me in front of an entire classroom of people. He was hitting me in the head with objects. In all fairness, I seriously warned him verbally by saying, "If you do that one more time, I swear I will hit you in the nuts. I am not kidding."
It's just downright cruel to hit a guy in the nuts for no reason or to gain some sort of twisted pleasure for yourself. It isn't right. Men shouldn't allow this to happen. While a few knocks to the groin usually doesn't cause long-term damage, if it continues to happen a man can have severely decreased sperm counts or even erectile problems.
Talk to an adult if it continues to happen. It is not safe and is extremely disrespectful. You can develop scar tissue within the body, too, from the repeated bruising.
You do not deserve to suffer this pain.
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Okay, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was in the spur of the moment, and there was no condom. God, I had that part. I NEVER thought I'd be that girl. I swore I wouldn't. But it happened, and now I'm scared.
He didn't cum, it was only a few minutes. But can you get pregnant from precum? And can you tell if you precum? Like, my friends say I should be fine. But I'm a little paranoid. I'm gonna try and get Plan B to be safe. But can someone tell me if I should be worried? Like...can I get pregnant from precum? Can you tell if you precum? Okay...thanks. (link)
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Pre-ejaculate still contains some sperm, even though it's a lot less than a complete ejaculation. A full ejaculation contains as many as 100 million sperm at a time, and sperm within pre-ejaculate can be as many as a few million.
It only takes ONE to get you pregnant.
Be worried over a possible pregnancy? Yes, definitely
Your partner will not feel when he releases some precum fluids.
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15/f
~so i have this fleshy lump thingy in my vagina. like right near the opening .. not on a lip but actually in the hole.... like blocking my opening i think?! it seems the size of my vagina and isnt so big it hurts or i notice it.... IT DOESENT HURT AT ALL WHICH IS GOOD :) so i have left it alone and never told my mom ... its been a year now and it is the same size and hasent changed and doesent hurt but it is kinda hard and fleshy but doesent hurt..... but i like cant see an opening from just looking in the mirror cause it looks like i dont have an opening cause of this fleshy thing. Bur i have never had sex or anything like that. but im scared to tell my mom or doctor... so what do you think it is? and what would be the treatments? cause i dont want anything painful!!!! but im scared cause ifeel like i have cancer or something and i dont wanna die or end up really sick cause i havent gone to a doctor.... BUT IT DOESENT BUG ME ? NO PAIN ........ please help! i searched online and got really scared by what it might be!!! so scared! (link)
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It could very well be your hymen.
Hymen's are a fleshy bit that does cover the vagina opening. They usually have a small hole in in the center of them to allow your menstrual blood to flow out properly. If you don't have an opening in your hymen then you have to have a very small surgery to remove it so that you don't end up getting old blood backed up in there.
If you have ever had your period then you do have an opening though.
Here is a link that shows drawings of the hymen, including the various types of hymens women can have:
http://www.healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html
STDs can be passed on from mother to child during childbirth. I suppose HPV could be passed along too. HPV would cause a bump like this if it was one of the wart causing strains. If you have ever fingered yourself then you could have also "contaminated" yourself with a strain of HPV.
It could be a tumor. Cancerous or benign. It happens. If this is the case, then you definitely need to see a doctor. If it hasn't grown then, chances are, it isn't cancerous. It should still be looked at though.
No pain doesn't mean it isn't serious. Some very serious things don't cause a person pain.
Speak to your mother again and ask her politely to see a doctor about it. Let her know that you feel it isn't normal and that you want a professional to make sure everything is safe down there. Explain to her the things you've read that might be and express your concerns. You need to see a doctor if it is a growth within your vagina.
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I am getting a bit confused here and need some understanding.
The first day of my last period was 6/16/2010 making my ovulation day on or around 6/25. I have a regular 28 days cycle and have always had my period when it was expected.
My partner and me had sex on 7/5/2010, now I am wondering if I could get pregnant since it was on one of my 'safe' days. I am have been reading conflicting reports and I am now very curious. My next period is scheduled for 7/14.
Thank you (link)
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I have a nearly perfect 28 day cycle as well.
The truth?
Not ALL women ovulate on or even around day 14.
I actually ovulate around day 20.
Some other women ovulate during their periods, a few days after their period ends, or even right before their period.
The "normal" or "average" time to ovulate doesn't fit all women. It's just how life works. Nobody's body is perfect. This is why they say to have sex every 3 days when you're trying to get pregnant because if your ovulation day is off by quite some time you may still be able to catch it without having to purchase ovulation kits.
Your best bet to find out when you do ovulate, for sure? Purchase the over-the-counter ovulation prediction kits and use them for 6 months. Track them well on a calendar when they give you the "positive" sign of ovulation. Take your temperature each day and see if it increases when you ovulate. In 6 months you'll have a decent guestimate of when you typically ovulation. Some women do this and find out the exact day they ovulate.
Possible to be pregnant? Of course.
Average ovulation happens 14 days from the first day you get your period.
Average just doesn't mean always.
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Hello :)
This is a personal topic so I don't expect many to answer my question, but this goes out to any females who've had ovarian cysts. How did you find out? Did you have any symptoms? I just realized that it feels like I have a bruise on the right side of lower ab/hip.. pubic area perhaps. I'm not taking it seriously because it's the first time it has happened, and random pains always happen to me lol. Anyway, thanks in advance to everyone :)
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I bled for 2 months solid. That's how I found out.
I was pretty young. Maybe 13 or 14? My mother took me to the gynecologist.
They felt around, inside and out and then sent me for an ultrasound to get a good idea of it's size. I had left it alone so long that it had grown to be about the size of my ovary. My doctor decided not to do surgery at that time to see if we could shrink it first.
Ovarian cysts can actually be quite dangerous if you leave them untreated and they continue to grow. They can actually grow so large that they burst the ovary itself, sending bits of matter hurling through your body and damaging other organs.
You really should get it looked it, especially that it is causing pain. Many times when the cyst is so large that it begins to cause you pain at times or any discomfort then it is getting to be a serious issue.
Remember, it didn't just pop up last night. It's been growing on your body for awhile now.
Ovarian cysts can be made out of anything, including a clumping of cancerous cells. My teacher in high school had one burst that had been formed by cancerous cells and she had to have a lot of things removed. Luckily, she got to keep her life but she'll never be the same, having some of her intestines removed as far as I know. (not to mention all of her female organs had to be removed and part of her liver or bladder--forget which)
They can also be formed and full of hairs, dead cells, or even fluid.
Get it checked out.
Seriously.
It isn't something to just let grow and pretend it will go away. Some of them become extremely dangerous.
Make an appointment with your doctor to have it examined. There are treatments they can give you that will shrink it relatively fast or they can offer you some advice on what to avoid which may be causing it to rapidly grow.
Just because it's your first time experiencing this doesn't make it safe or that you shouldn't worry. A professional needs to look at this. I've only had 1 cyst in my entire lifetime and, luckily, my doctor had some sense about him and we got it handled properly before it affected my health. Don't let it go any longer.
When your body feels pain it's you body trying to scream at you, "Hey! Something is NOT right!"
Something is not right.
Something is not normal.
Something is not natural.
See a doctor.
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What is your opinion on a girl having a sugar daddy? is it wrong? is it smart? is it lazy? what do you think? She does not have sex with him or do anything sexual. She is just a companion, and makes the guy feel young again.
Guys, if you had a girlfriend and she told you she had a sugar daddy how would you feel about it? Remember, she doesn't do anything sexual with him.
And for example the ages are 18 and 30. (link)
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I'm 23 and my husband is 40.
I think it's absolutely wrong to use a person for your own personal gain.
Having a sugar daddy is a horrible idea that is disrespectful and encourages horrible self-standards.
You learn to use and abuse people who truly do care about you.
Terrible.
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22/F
Okay, I weigh approx 280 lbs. and I am 5'7 so my BMI is high or whatever. I do have a genetic predisposition to diabetes because it runs greatly in my family. Yes, I am obese. (But I don't in my eyes appear to be obese, I have very large muscular thighs, and they have very little cellulite. But I do have a large stomach and chest, 44 ddd.)
I am currently taking Metformin 500mg 2 tablets everyday... (but I do forget often). My periods have been abnormal for the past 4 years. Like I get only 3 periods a year. I have had ovarian cysts but have not been diagnosed with PCOS.
Yes, I have been to the doctor and she's told me all the stuff about how I need to loose weight, YEAH I KNOW. Plus I just got done taking both a nutrition and health class and has been ridiculed a great deal in both classes about being obese.
But has this changed my mind? No. I know that I am already pre-diabetic... especially for type 2 diabetes. I know what diabetes is and I know that it can kill me if I don't loose the weight.
My question is why with all this information and knowledge I have, I CONTINUE TO EAT.
I can honestly say that life happened to me in the past 3 years, I had a really bad break up, suffered the death of a best friend, lost my apartment because of people who used me, lost a lot of friends, and was used for sex which was a major blow to my self-esteem. I mean it was a lot... so my comfort was and still is food.
Why is it that I won't give it up? What can I do...
My ultimate fear is that if I loose weight, that I will put it back on... and weigh more than I am now...
I really want lap band surgery to ensure the weight will stay off but its costly and my insurance won't cover it.... I don't know what to do, but something needs to be done. Lap band surgery however is still an option for me. (link)
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You sound almost exactly like me except that I'm a few inches taller than you.
Sure, the lapband will help you stop overeating.
The truth is, it is not going to solve the real problem.
The real problem is your intake of food. You have to learn to control it. There are meetings for this even. Overeaters anonymous.
You should seek mental therapy for it. You need to learn how to deal with your problems without resorting to stuffing yourself full of various comfort foods. You must or you will just end up like this years down the road.
Exercise.
I know, I know that doesn't sound fun. Exercise is like hard work...right? Wrong.
I joined Curves on a whim, really. I knew I needed to lose weight. The woman at the front desk was a twig and I was embarrassed. I paid the fees though (extremely low for a good gym membership though) and did exactly what they said. I read through the dieting book but never did change my eating habits yet. I just exercised.
1 pound of muscle can burn up to 50 calories.
50 calories is: a rice cake, vitamuffin, 1/2 banana, 1 1/2 cups popcorn, 5 dill pickles, Babybel cheese wedge, small root beer float, 10 pieces of gum, an oreo cookie, 2 Hershey's Kisses, two large marshmallows
Even if that doesn't sound like much, take into consideration 10lbs of pure muscle.
10 pounds of muscles can burn up to 500 calories.
Amazing.
The "burning" calories doesn't mean activity either. It means those calories are going to be burned just to fuel the muscle, naturally. That's when you're asleep, sitting at your desk, or doing your normal activities.
Now, I've read that this would equal out to losing about a ~1lb a week if you had gained 10lbs of muscle. Your metabolism is also boosted by about 15%. We all know that your metabolism is how fast you body can burn off calories.
The "problem" is that muscle does weigh more than fat so you can see a huge drop in your clothing sizes but not a lot of "weight" dropped at first. You have to build muscle to be able to burn that fat.
Chances are, you were just like me. Barely any muscle, despite what you may want to believe. I didn't want to believe I was fairly weak. It was the truth though.
So, in 3 months I lost about 20 inches all over my body. I dropped sizes dramatically. I felt better. My weight didn't drop as much but I could see my inches shrinking. I could see my stomach having some sort of muscle below the fatty tissue. I could physically see the changes.
Getting a surgery is NOT a long-term solution.
Learning that exercise can be downright fun, enjoyable, and really pays off is something you absolutely need to look into, especially if you choose to not change your current eating plans yet.
Remember, I lost all of that weight--that FAT, pure FAT--by exercising. Not dieting. Not starving myself. Hell, I ate ICE CREAM every single night. I indulged in my cravings. I'm not saying you should definitely do that BUT it proves that exercise really does work if you can stick to.
Curves? 3 times a week. 30 minute sessions each time. 1 time a month you're weighed and measured. I think I paid $22/month. Worth it? Every single moment. Every single penny. Every ounce of it.
Start with exercise.
See a therapist and talk about these problems.
Join a group and get some support to stop.
Nix the idea of surgery right now. You're too young to be feeling this hopeless. You have the power to change all on your own.
And, God, it feels so good to see your inches going away because of things you're actually doing. Seeing your hard work really pay off. Watching your body get stronger because of the choices you're making 3 times a week.
P.S. If you think Curves might be too hard--I worked out beside a 92 year old woman. ;)
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22/f
Okay, due to my past, my heart has literally turned black. I don't trust guys and it find it very hard to even maintain a conversation with them. Like they'll ask to meet with me (because honestly the guys that try to talk to me are from like Mocospace and chatlines or whatever and yes I know they are bad places or whatever), but then I shut down and never talk to them again.
I will not lie, I am a BBW (or in layman terms, "Obese") and on the account of my low-self esteem, I have been talken to and used for sex numerous times, to the point where I don't even want to have sex anymore. I get turned off by the idea of having sex with a man and kinda would rather want to do it with a female... that's how severe it has been.
Why is it that I shut down when it comes to guys now? I tell them the truth about myself as far as my looks are concerned but I still stop talking to them....
There is another guy that I have known for a year who adores me, and I admit that I have slept with him before and then I shut down on him to. After it happened I stopped talking to him. Then he found me again and is trying so hard for me to date him, but to be honest, I am not really attracted to him and he is a little cocky for me...
I don't know what to do. I am at a complete loss. What can I do? Where can I meet guys? I am in college but attend a large college so talking to guys is scary especially if your are new to campus.
I know have a lot of good qualities about me... but I think guys can't get past my exterior... so Idk... any advice will be greatly appreciated...
How can I stop shutting down on guys and where can I meet decent guys that will likely accept me for me? (link)
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I agree: Stop looking for love.
I am a 23 obese female. I don't use the term BBW to describe myself.
I had sex with a couple of people I shouldn't have and am disappointed in myself with that, too.
So, a few years ago I had just graduated college and was working at a little grocery store. This man came in and we talked very briefly while I checked out his groceries. He came in fairly frequently and we talked just a little here and there.
One night he said, "Hey, have you tried the new Taco Bell down the road?"
I hadn't. As a matter of fact, I hadn't eaten fast food in awhile. So, I told him I knew nothing of it.
He asked me if I'd like to go and have a bite to eat when my work shift was done--just as friends. I was pretty shocked and stumbled at finding the words. I agreed and met him after work.
We were friends for a bit. We went out nearly every weekend and had Taco Bell together. I tried to help him with some relationship problems he was having. We had some good times.
When his relationship had broken and he could not mend it (the woman did some really stupid stuff) then I told him that I had a crush on him. To my surprise, he said he'd like to go on a real date with me. We did.
Three years later? Married :)
I wasn't looking for love at all. We started out only being friends. We didn't jump in the sack right away. I met him doing normal, daily things.
Looking makes you easy. You are more vulnerable because you're waiting for some prince charming. A lot of really bad guys KNOW this and will use you in every way they can until you figure out that you're worth more than them.
Sex doesn't mean love.
Love doesn't mean sex.
You can love someone with all of your heart and never have sex with them. THAT is the kind of guy you truly want. A guy you say, "Look, to be honest, I don't want to have sex until I am married off..." And if he stays, agrees to it, and loves you just as much then he's a real keeper. No, you don't REALLY have to wait until you're married off but making him wait and believe there won't be a time "soon" that you will give it up is a great way to spot the bad ones.
I don't believe the problem is that you're afraid of getting hurt though.
Maybe, deep down inside, you do want to be hurt.
Maybe, deep down inside, you're waiting for the knight in shining armor to ride up on his white horse and rescue you from everything you hate.
That doesn't exist. We both know this.
You have to find someone you can be friends with. Build a friendship. Enjoy making last memories. Go to the movies, out to Taco Bell ;), and whatever else is just fun. Don't think about relationships, sex, or anything beyond a normal, healthy friendship.
Then, one day, maybe you say, "I kind of like this guy...more than as a friend..." and can say, "Hey, NAME, we've been friends for a little while now and...I like you."
Step away from "relationships"
Step away from "sex"
Step away from stereotyping yourself.
My husband? Isn't really hard-up for overweight women like me. He loves me though and supports me in everything that I do.
Some guys are really turned-off by the BBW term, by the way. If you absolutely must be " out there, looking " then stop using BBW. BBW attracts guys who find overweight women easy. BBW makes other guys cringe.
Why cringe?
Being an overweight woman doesn't necessarily make you beautiful. Women who use the BBW also seem to feel a little...full of themselves...when they talk about it.
You're an overweight 22 year old woman. Beautiful? Quite possibly but try to describe that beauty rather than just saying "Yeah, I'm beautiful." You say, right here, you have great qualities about you. THAT is what you want them to notice. Sure, tell them you're overweight though. You just don't have to become the stereotypical fat woman.
(Fat is not an insult.)
In addition, if you absolutely must fill out online match-making forms that consider trying to lose weight by exercise. When you say you're overweight but have been going to the gym to drop some weight a lot of guys say, "Oh, so she actually cares about her appearance...cool."
With all of that said, I still do not recommend you be actively seeking.
Just do your normal things though. Talk to people as they come and go. Smile a lot and share information with others that you find particularly interesting. Some guy, some where, will want to be friends and maybe down the road it will bloom into something more.
You're 22. If you don't find guy right now then that's OK. He'll come in time.
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Peeps,
Hi, this is ThirdQED. I just received this question in my inbox. It is about a girl who feels powerless and weak after apologizing to her friend. Her pride is hurt and so is her self-confidence.
I am bad at answering these kind of emotional- and relationship-related questions. So if possible, please help me answer this question: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=583064
Thank you,
ThirdQED :-) (link)
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Thank you ThirdQED.
I took care of the question just now since I had some time on my hands.
I appreciate the recommendation ;)
By the way, you give some amazing advice and I am very glad to see you using this site regularly to help others. It's so nice to see a user who cares about the people they answer questions for on Advicenators. I am also very happy to see some of your detail responses so that the user can learn a little extra information about themselves from time to time. :) So many people seem like they're in a hurry to give an answer or fear going into detail. It's nice to see your efforts here.
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recently, me and my friend been distant with each other. We kept on arguing and somewhat we had issues that was never solved, so yesterday i tried talking it out with her, we had an argument yesterday and things were just falling apart for both us, i had to say sorry how i was being self-centered and things i didn't want to admit how i was wrong about, also that i told her how she meant a lot to me. Everything went fine and we're back to being friends again, but if i did not say sorry about those things our friendship would have changed.
The thing about it is, that i feel powerless,vulnerable and weak because i admited and said sorry about how i was acting towards her, everything is fine now but im crying about it because somehow it hurts me when i should be happy that me and my friend fixed the problem. I feel like sh*t right now and i dont know why, i feel like i gave her the power and the satisfaction and i dont know why i feel this way, why i do feel this way? is it pride?
I feel like i shouldnt have sorry but i really needed to, i dont understand why i feel all this.
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I must assume that you are still a teenager by what you write here.
The truth is, apologizing for your actions is a part of life. It's a part of growing up and becoming a mature, responsible adult.
You will never be 100% right in everything you do.
You will always make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or hurt somebody's feelings.
There will always be something that is not perfect about you.
Relax and give the friend some time to breathe. You are both growing up. She is probably just as confused as you are about this entire situation.
It can be odd when you KNOW you need to say sorry but you don't want to. You have to do it anyway. You're becoming an adult and it's a part of life. You cannot always get your way.
Swallow your pride and be happy that you have enough mind to apologize for your improper actions. It happens in all relationships. I say, "Hun, I'm really sorry about that..." to my husband even.
I've had to say to a friend, "I did the wrong thing there. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings by what I was saying. I really thought I was right at the time but now I see I wasn't."
It's just a part of growing up, dear.
You have to realize that you are not perfect. The world doesn't revolve around you so there will always be disagreements. You are young and maturing so you are bound to wind up being wrong a few times.
If you've never had to apologize for yourself then this is a very new thing. It's feel guilty, really. You did something not so great in your friendship. You should be happy it is now resolved but if, like I said, you're new to apologizing for your poor choices then this can be a little confusing.
Relax and get over the odd feelings. Be glad that you apologized for yourself and try to learn to do it more often when you realize that you're in the wrong in a situation. Fights, arguments, and disagreements will always happen. It's better to learn how to handle them now.
You feel bad now and you'll likely feel bad when you have to apologize in any situation. The truth is, it's necessary to becoming a good person. You cannot expect to go through life always feeling great about yourself and your actions, especially when you're wrong. Just breathe and realize that you're growing up. It's just something you must deal with now.
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i'm laura, 19, and soon to be a junior in college. long story short: went to chatham university - majored in graphic design (hated it), i go to the art institute of atlanta currently (love the school, but no long sure about my major). i don't know what to do because i feel like no major seems to be my calling. my mom's frustrated because i can't make up my mind, but i can't help it. i don't know what to do with my future or what i'm truly good at. this time, i feel like i should go into a new school to do nursing. i feel like i would like that because i love to help people. should i continue with my last 2 yrs in a major that i don't click with or should i pursue nursing? thanks so much guys (link)
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If you don't know then you just don't know.
I cannot put it into any more words than this:
Do not waste your time with something you're not passionate about.
Going to college just because your mother, father, sister, uncle, cousin, or best friend wants you to is really a horrible idea. That's why a lot of people end up wasting money, financial aid, and grant money the first few years of college.
Do not go if you do not know what you want to go for.
I know you're probably feeling a lot of pressure to get a degree so you can have some super amazing job when you graduate. The truth is, if you have to wait a year then there is no harm in that. Not wasting your time and money is not such a big deal.
This is how people end up with jobs they absolutely hate. This is how people end up with no ability to get any more grants or loans for what they really do want to do once they've finally decided. This is how people are perpetual students and live at home until they're 30.
If you don't think you absolutely love the idea of being a nurse then don't even start pursuing it right now.
Take a little time off. Work a few odd jobs and get some minor work experience under you belt. Enjoy being 19 right now. Who knows, in a few months you might actually wake up and say, "Man, I know what I really want to do with my life!" and THEN you can start on your path in school if it's required.
Do not pursue anything right now is what I'm saying. Hold off on it so you aren't wasting your time and money. It's really silly to go to college when you're not sure about your major in the first place. A lot of people make this mistake because they feel pressured.
Relax and give yourself some time to figure out what you're truly passionate about. In the end, it might be as simple as becoming a painter or something you don't even need to go to college for. It would be sad to earn a degree (or multiple degrees) and then never do anything with them once you've figured out what you truly want to do with your life.
It's your life.
Major life decisions are not going to be made in a day, week, or even month. Give yourself some time to grow up. Work a few jobs locally so you can get a feel of different opportunities while you're young. Sometimes you can find your passion in the smallest of jobs. You may cashier some place and get to talking to somebody and realize, "THAT is what I want to do! Just what they are talking about. I didn't even think twice about it until this moment!"
Take some time off right now. Relax. Grow.
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Alriiiight. So I'm fifteen and my ex is sixteen but I was fourteen while I dated him. Since we broke up (he dumped me) I've left him alone, been a good girl, ya know, didn't cause drama. But he's telling everyone I gave him a BJ, which... yeah I did. I really regret it cause Jesus I was fourteen, but while we were dating I let him walk all over me... I was definitely whipped. He made me feel so guilty saying I should do it if I loved him and stuff like that... I know I know, please don't tell me it was a mistake because you'll only be telling me what I already know. And you wouldn't understand how it felt unless you were in my place... and I got dumped four days later in a text message so I think I got my punishment. Anyway it was my understanding that something like that is supposed to stay inbetween you and your boy (thats what he promised me at least...) but yeah he told the entire baseball team, who told the football team, who told the basketball team... I don't know why only guys are hearing this... Well anyway my ex ALSO started telling people that we had sex which ISN'T true. He's saying digusting things too. Like "When I was on top I was scared I was gonna break her cause she's so tiny." and "She let me do whatever I wanted, I bet I coulda stuck it up the a$$ if I wanted to." And now all the guys think it's real funny to come up to me and put their finger up my butt. Ha-ha, right? It's been two months and these rumors HAVEN'T faded... I even went away for camp for a week and when I came back WORSE things were being said. I don't know what to do. Our school is so small... and my repuatation before this has been "goody goody two shoes" now people are looking at me differently and guys have been saying all these gross things to me... I told my ex that I don't deserve any of this because I never did anything to hurt him... Everytime I tell him about this he says he's telling people he was lying... but he's not. He just doesn't care he's being an ass... he doesn't care but I do. How can I just make this all go away? I have super supportive friends but I can't handle this anymore. (link)
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Understandable.
When I was young, around your age, I was also in a very harmful relationship. Even when I realized how harmful it was, I stayed. It was a bad experience that I wish I could take back.
I've also had my round rumors in school.
There was this guy who they called Big Mac (he was a pretty big guy). When I first came to the school something happened that I'm not aware of and the rumor starting flying that I slept with the guy. We didn't even know each other. It got pretty bad though, saying there were some pretty bad photos of us doing some pretty bad stuff in pretty bad situation. Of course, no photo existed but when people claim they actually have items like that then others tend to believe.
There are a few options here. The main thing is that you have to take into account that you're 15. I hate to say it but you happened to pick out a jerk.
The jerk isn't going to just stop saying the rumors. He isn't. It gets him attention. He doesn't care if he hurts you. He is, obviously, manipulative and uncaring. Now that you see what a jerk is you can now avoid dating them in the future. Whatever he was, is not what you want later. Learn your lesson on that one now while you have this opportunity.
You can go to an adult and tell them. Since these rumors are sexual then it is very acceptable to ask an adult for help. The truth is, the jerk isn't going to care and the adult won't really be able to do too much except talk to the jerk. Now, the talking-to might end up in a decent situation if the teacher can semi-convince the jerk to at least apologize and let the rumors die. Honestly, it's a 50/50 chance that you're going to have to decide on. It can go two ways:
1. He apologizes and lets the rumors die. It doesn't mean he's suddenly a nice guy though. He just doesn't want to get into a mess of trouble with the adult any more.
2. He apologizes in front of the adult but doesn't care about the possible consequences of these rumors. He continues spreading the rumors, making fun of you, and then says how wimpy you are for talking to an adult. This can escalate things pretty seriously though and you will probably need to get an adult involved yet again.
He is making himself feel big and good. The more he says you were his sexual conquest, the more the guys are saying, "Wow!" Remember, they're 16 year old guys. They think sex is pretty darn awesome. They haven't lived yet. They haven't learned that sex isn't all that great or amazing. They won't know for quite some time. They're simply not mature.
You're 15 and, to be honest, 2 months is nothing in the rumor world since your school is small. I graduated with 60-ish people so I understand what "small school" means. I was once 15 so I understand what immaturity means at school.
Chances are, next year things might heat up at the beginning of the year and die back off completely. You will only have to "explain yourself" to prospective boyfriends then when they are curious if the rumors are true. Watch out though! A lot of boys will believe them and only want to be with you so that they can have sex.
That being said, you can let the rumors die off naturally. It will happen but your image may be already stained by some people in the school that may never even know the truth for one reason or another. It's high school though. The rumors WILL go away in time. People WILL stop to care what this boy said, in time. I've seen it a hundred times, easily. It will eventually start to fade. The problem is that the fading time limit is different for every rumor. About the same time as most of his friends start having sex with more than 3 or 4 girls then it will begin to fade, as far as I can tell from my past experience. You simply won't be of a worthy note in sexual experiences at that time and people will just stop caring what you may or may not have done.
So, you do have the option of ignoring it but it will take awhile to go away. Confronting the situation only makes it worse, as you probably have noticed. It encourages the rumor-spreaders, thinking that you must be defending your actions or are embarrassed because it's true. Remember, jerks don't care about you or your feelings.
Having sex has these types of complications, by the way. You're 15 and the boy was not mature at all for his age. It's sort of like getting a brand new, shiny toy that all of his friends want. He doesn't know that the toy isn't REALLY all that amazing but his friends think so already so he flaunts it around and says how great it is that he has it.
The next time you're pressured into sex or you're considering having sex under the age of 20 then you might want to back off and give it a few more years. Sex can wait. How long did the blow job last? Chances are, less than an hour. How long have these rumors lasted? Obviously 2 months or longer. Does not equal. Does not pay off. Was not worth it, was it?
Now, since these guys are putting their hands on you (most inappropriately, by the way) I would speak to an adult. I would take that route because this could escalate to get more than just touching your butt in a hurry. It only takes one of those guys to get his hormones all riled up to start taking the touching further and encouraging his friends to do the same.
I would recommend talking to your mother, the school counselor (you need to see him/her to avoid some mental/emotional damage from this situation), and the principal at school. I would tell them right back-to-back. First, I would talk with my mother about it and tell her I am going to speak to the principal about it the following day. I would talk with the principal as soon as possible the next day and request to speak with the counselor too about it all.
The principal will probably take your ex into the office with you and figure out what is going on.
Be honest with all of them. Complete honesty.
Everyone in the school already knows. Everyone in the school already thinks you're a pretty awful, easy girl. Just be honest with the adults about the situation so it can be handled now.
Yes, you gave him a blow job while you two were dating. You felt pressured into doing it and you do regret it. You didn't do anything else at all though and you have see how these sorts of things can be damaging so you aren't ever going to do anything sexual with a boyfriend until you're well old enough. The rumors are hurtful but, most of all, you don't like having your private space attacked by his friends when they are putting their hands in your private areas as a joke.
The principal will take it seriously.
Your mother will take it seriously if she's worth anything as a mother.
The counselor will encourage you to talk about you feelings more so that you can get them resolved now so you do not repeat this mistake.
The principal may want names of the boys who have put their hands on you. Be honest and tell her so that he/she can talk to them about invasion of personal space and inappropriate school conduct. It might feel embarrassing to tell but it's better to get this sort of thing dealt with before it escalates into something you might not even expect out of 16-year-olds. It does happen. I've seen it happen with my own two eyes to more than one girl. Take action now while you can.
Keep seeing the counselor and tell him/her whatever happens. Open up and get everything out there.
The boys keep touching you, see the principal again. It needs to be handled. It needs to be stopped now.
Even if the principal chooses to not talk to the other boys, your ex will go back and tell them that they might get in trouble for touching you now. Let it ride out. He might be extremely immature and resort to name-calling like a 5 year old. You're better than that. Ignore the name calling unless they put their hands on you. Names don't mean anything in the end.
Sex? Let it wait from now on. Even if you're deeply in love--high school, obviously, is not the time. People are growing. Hormones are changes. A lot of boys have absolutely no respect for you deep-down inside and you won't know that until it's too late. Keep sex out of the relationships and you have a better chance at finding love anyway. Trust me :)
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Hiya. I am looking for some songs to have sex to with my boyfriend. My boyfriend gets nervous easily and he said if we had some music on or something it would be easier for him to do it with me. It sounds fine to me but I don't know what some good songs to have sex to are.
I guess the music genre doesn't really matter as long as it's good for sex? We've only tried having sex twice so we're really new at this whole thing anyway. I looked up some suggestions but I just kept coming up with songs that were good for stripping. haha
Sex music suggestions anyone?
THANXXX (link)
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Get It Up by Mindless Self Indulgence
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GOod day,
I read a similar question, but was wondering if a girl was fingered with a finger containing sperm, then i know that the chances of her being pregnant are small, but still existant.
My girlfriend, and I experienced the same thing, but she has gotten her period for 4 months, at more or less regular intervals after the "incident" now. can she be pregnant and experiencing decidual/first trimester bleeding? or am i just being paranoid?
thanks! (link)
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It's highly doubtful that she is actually pregnant if it has been 4 months since the incident.
There is a thing called implantation bleeding that is actually fairly common in women now. It usually happens the first month of pregnancy, around the same time the woman would be due for a period. It can last up to 4 days straight and the woman may experience moderate bleeding. Many women mistake this implantation bleeding for their regular period and assume they must not be pregnant then. Cramping and the usual "period signs and symptoms" go along with the implantation bleeding sometimes.
Beyond that first month any bleeding is absolutely abnormal during pregnancy. Chances are, if she is bleeding enough to think she's on her period for 3 more months after that then she's just not pregnant. Some women do have such odd hormonal changes caused by pregnancy that they can still bleed during pregnancy but it usually results in a relatively early miscarriage, unfortunately. That or she's the one in a million born with a full second set of female reproductive organs ;)
If you're still doubting the entire thing, there has been plenty enough time pass that you can purchase a home pregnancy test and it will give an accurate reading. A store bought pregnancy test will cost you less than $10 and can put your mind at ease.
Chances she's pregnant? Not very high now that enough time has passed.
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Does anyone know if this work-out video works? From personal experience?
If you don't know what I'm talking about it's at:
GetBBL.com
& If you haven't tried it personally ... do you think it works?
It supposedly helps lift, tone, & all that stuff to make your butt look good.
I'm not big ,but I want to tone all my junk ,hahaha.
Please & Thankyou. (: (link)
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I've looked into A LOT of these supplements, actually. I can tell you a lot about them, in general.
The first rule is to not take them until you've already matured and finished growing. For a woman, you will continue to grow and mature until you're about 20 years old. I know that sounds like an awfully long time from now but the reason for waiting is very simple:
These herbal supplements alter your hormonal imbalance. If your body does not develop naturally then it can be out of line and have a hard time going without these supplements years down the road. You may not form correctly, have a hard time gaining or losing weight, or be slightly...mishapen. It's important to let your body do what it will naturally first before resorting to these pills. Trust me.
Next, 9 times out 10 the supplements that are under $300 for a month's supply has the number 1 ingredient of Peruvian maca. Surprise! Maca can actually be purchased alone from various stores and shops--online AND offline. It isn't very expensive at all. I found a great amount on VitaCost.com that you might want to look into. It still alters hormonal balances though so you need to wait until you're fully developed before diving into these supplements. Everything about butt enhancement I've read points to the use of Maca though.
Last but not least...exercise. Most of the good supplements will come with an instructional pamphlet. Guess what that piece of paper tells you to do? Butt exercises. For real! It helps you to gain some muscle in the buttocks region to help you firm and lift it. Most of these exercises are deep squats and stair climbing. I'm not kidding. The ones that are even $300 for a month's supply comes with these forms to help you increase the junk in your trunk.
Worth the purchase? Hell no.
About a year ago I was deeply concerned about my lack of a nice, round ass. I understand your desire. Trust me, I really understand. The truth is, now is not the time to start these sorts of internal pills for enhancements. Start doing the butt exercises. When you're older (preferably 20 or above) then you might want to look into the Maca pills.
Don't believe me? There's also BBB, Dime Curves, Femimore, Shape Up, Hourglass, Star, and many others. Majority of them? A decent dose of Maca in each capsule. Some of them are actually only water pills and as soon as you stop taking them you begin to lose the new curve. They only want your money, Hun.
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is it possiable to loose weight without exercise?
i walk everywhere, its my only form of exercise but im on a strict diet.
will my body get weird if i dont work out when i diet? (link)
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You can lose weight without exercise but exercising helps build muscle. Muscle breaks down fatty tissue and burns calories. In the long-run, exercising pays off better and longer.
There is a quote that every pound of muscle you gain, your body burns an extra 50-ish calories.
That might not sound like a lot but that's calories being burned while you're just sitting around at home. Then you have to consider:
10lbs gained = 500-ish calories burned.
Now, I've read that this would equal out to losing about a ~1lb a week if you had gained 10lbs of muscle.
Your metabolism is also boosted by about 15%. We all know that your metabolism is how fast you body can burn off calories.
If you're plump then losing weight without any form of exercising can leave you saggy. You won't have the muscle tissue to firm and tone the fatty areas you have at the moment. That's why lots of women have those jiggly arms areas--because they didn't exercise and build enough muscle to help tighten the skin in those areas.
It's like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He lost a lot of muscle by not maintaining his level of exercise. Because the stuff under the skin diminished, he got flabby. This is where people began purchasing tummy-tucks and surgical procedures to tighten the skin back up.
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The other day I was flipping channels and caught America's Got Talent right when this guy was about sing and play his guitar. He was SO cute and his name was Michael Grimm. He did an awesome performance and I really want to see it again, at least. He's really talented and I hope he wins!
Where can I watch Michael Grimm for free online? Preferably the America's Got Talent T.V. show but anything will do. He's dreamy. ;) (link)
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Well, while I was searching around online I found a blog set-up that I think might come in handy for Michael Grimm fans. Here is the link:
http://michaelgrimmfans.blogspot.com/
Now, from that, you can, obviously, see his current video from the America's Got Talent show. There are also other things listed on the sidebar that are very helpful. Simply look on the right-hand side bar and see the links for "Who is Michael Grimm?, Photos of Michael Grimm, Michael Grimm Official Website, Contact Michael Grimm..."
I am only assuming that this fan page plans to be updated frequently with the hottest / latest Michael Grimm news. If it isn't, then maybe some of the links on the side will help. In the meantime, check out the featured video from the recent show! ;)
Enjoy!
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So I'm on birth control, have been for the past three years. The reason I'm on it is to regulate my period and reduce cramps. Also, I've been sexually active as well so that's the reason I'm still on it.
Well not to gross anyone out, but ever since I got put on birth control my discharge has been super thick, and according to my boyfriend, tastes sour. So I want to do a little experiment and see if this all goes away if I stop taking my birth control. I won't be seeing my boyfriend all summer, so I don't see why not.
First of all, is it okay to just suddenly stop taking your pills? I'm only three pills into my new pack.
Also, once I see my boyfriend again, I will have to go back on birth control, and I'm thinking of using a different one, that doesn't give me this weird discharge. Does anyone have any personal experience with this, and can recommend a birth control (and I understand that ultimately my doctor will decide which one is best for me, but maybe I can run one of yall's suggestion by her)
Thanks!
F/19 (link)
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Ah!
The pills are most likely the cause of your vaginal differences. Some of the pills make the mucus much thicker so that sperm are unable to swim in it properly to fertilize an egg if, by chance, one had been released even though you were taking birth control pills (it happens). Some pills actually make the mucus really thin and watery so the sperm are unable to travel in it too. It also alters your hormones unnaturally so your taste will, of course, change. The things you eat also change your personal flavor and odor. In addition, not drinking enough water (no additives in it) can cause thickened mucus.
If you do this experiment, you may not notice a difference for at least 6 months. It takes a long time for the synthetic hormones to work out of your system.
If you plan to discontinue your pills then do so the week your period is due. That way your body can do it's natural thing. Don't stop taking the pills mid-container or anything. Wait until the last week of pills, finish out the packet, and then go natural. It can take awhile for your body to get back up to what it was originally intended to do so you may notice a lot of hormonal fluctuations at first. For women who have been on the pill for years, it can take up to a full year to rid your body of the excess hormones and whatnot the pill put into it.
Different pills may help but your best bet is to go lo-dose if possible. That way you're not putting as much artificial hormone into your body. You have to know though, it's likely you will always have a different taste/smell/discharge while you're taking any sort of hormonal birth control. It's just how it works in the body. It changes your hormones like that.
Most pills will change your cervical mucus to help slow down sperm. Most pills, when effective, will cause you to stop releasing eggs. When you change your body with artificial drugs so that it does something it really isn't supposed to do then there will be side effects. Welcome to the world of birth control. Be glad you are lucky enough to not experience some of the horrible things other women (including myself) have and experience with hormonal birth control. ;)
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