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Why do i feel vulnerable?
recently, me and my friend been distant with each other. We kept on arguing and somewhat we had issues that was never solved, so yesterday i tried talking it out with her, we had an argument yesterday and things were just falling apart for both us, i had to say sorry how i was being self-centered and things i didn't want to admit how i was wrong about, also that i told her how she meant a lot to me. Everything went fine and we're back to being friends again, but if i did not say sorry about those things our friendship would have changed.
The thing about it is, that i feel powerless,vulnerable and weak because i admited and said sorry about how i was acting towards her, everything is fine now but im crying about it because somehow it hurts me when i should be happy that me and my friend fixed the problem. I feel like sh*t right now and i dont know why, i feel like i gave her the power and the satisfaction and i dont know why i feel this way, why i do feel this way? is it pride?
I feel like i shouldnt have sorry but i really needed to, i dont understand why i feel all this.
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I must assume that you are still a teenager by what you write here.
The truth is, apologizing for your actions is a part of life. It's a part of growing up and becoming a mature, responsible adult.
You will never be 100% right in everything you do.
You will always make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or hurt somebody's feelings.
There will always be something that is not perfect about you.
Relax and give the friend some time to breathe. You are both growing up. She is probably just as confused as you are about this entire situation.
It can be odd when you KNOW you need to say sorry but you don't want to. You have to do it anyway. You're becoming an adult and it's a part of life. You cannot always get your way.
Swallow your pride and be happy that you have enough mind to apologize for your improper actions. It happens in all relationships. I say, "Hun, I'm really sorry about that..." to my husband even.
I've had to say to a friend, "I did the wrong thing there. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings by what I was saying. I really thought I was right at the time but now I see I wasn't."
It's just a part of growing up, dear.
You have to realize that you are not perfect. The world doesn't revolve around you so there will always be disagreements. You are young and maturing so you are bound to wind up being wrong a few times.
If you've never had to apologize for yourself then this is a very new thing. It's feel guilty, really. You did something not so great in your friendship. You should be happy it is now resolved but if, like I said, you're new to apologizing for your poor choices then this can be a little confusing.
Relax and get over the odd feelings. Be glad that you apologized for yourself and try to learn to do it more often when you realize that you're in the wrong in a situation. Fights, arguments, and disagreements will always happen. It's better to learn how to handle them now.
You feel bad now and you'll likely feel bad when you have to apologize in any situation. The truth is, it's necessary to becoming a good person. You cannot expect to go through life always feeling great about yourself and your actions, especially when you're wrong. Just breathe and realize that you're growing up. It's just something you must deal with now.
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Think about the things you've said to her and why , maybe it was time to apologize I know you may feel annoyed about it but your friend needed to hear you say it. You should not feel weak, you were the bigger person, you were the one who stepped up to the plate and just decided to swallow your pride for what you knew you needed to do it was mature and brave to be the one to apologize even when you know you shouldn't be and that you weren't wrong.
Good Luck! Get back to me, if you still feel upset give me full detail! :3
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Hello there, thank you for privately asking this question. However, I am not a good person to send relationship and emotional questions to because, well, I am just as clueless as anyone can be. I suggest you ask user Peeps this question; she would be more helpful than me: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
As for my personal opinion, I believe that you did the right thing; and that was very courageous of you, too :-) You see, courage doesn't always roar--courage isn't always about things like "I will go into the heart of the enemy's base and kill the Demon King." No, it isn't always like that. Sometimes courage is the quiet little step that you took back in order to preserve what you care and love. You should be proud of what you did.
Pride? Maybe. It could also be stubbornness as well, or even a little bit of both. Both you and your friend have that bit of pride and stubbornness--all of us do. Heck, that's why there are wars in the first place. Some people are too stupid to know when it is all right to take a step back to prevent further escalation. There is nothing to worry about on this one, because it's just natural to feel this way, and all of us have moments like this in our lives--moments when our pride is hurt.
Anyhow, point is that . . . please don't feel powerless and weak. Sure, you might have let her have the ground this time; but if she truly was at fault, somewhere deep down inside, she would feel it, too, though her pride might be preventing her from expressing it out openly with you. You did a right thing so let yourself be satisfied with the result--after all, you are the courageous hero here who managed to settle a conflict all by herself :-)
Wish you and your friend all the best,
ThirdQED :-)
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Hello, I think you may feel really upset over all of this instead of happy because you arent use to feeling vulnerable. Vulnerablity and powerlessness are very intense feelings and can be even more intense when you are not use to it. You should first know that you did the right thing by apologizing to your friend because you would have lost that person if you didnt. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has to apologize for them at some point if they want to make things right, and it took alot for you to do this but it in the end was all worht it. In regards to the relationship you have with a friend, no one has more power than another,atleast it shouldnt be that way or it wouldnt be a real friendship, it would just be one person overpowering and putting down another. So know that both of you have equal power in this relationship and that you didnt subdue any power, if anything you strengthened the relationship you had with your friend by apologizing. As for feeling vulnerable, you will get over this sad feeling in awhile, its just something you have to get used to feeling, in time you will feel happy again that you and your friend have mended the relationship and it will all move forward from there. You can try to take that powlerless feeling and make it feel more empowering by telling yourself that you did the right thing, that you had the power within yourself to say sorry and admit that you were wrong, that you helped to save your friendship, and that you are in a relationship were there is equal power. I hope this helped, if you would like me to clarify anything or answer any furhter questions about this situation or any other situation dont hesitiate to send me another message, and remember there is absoluteley nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable, it is simply a human emotion that can sometimes not be avoided but eventually you will get through this and it will be a thing of the past.:..Goodluck with everything :)
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If you weren't the one who did anything wrong, then naturally, you'd probably feel bad for apologizing. What concerns me is that you're using "powerless" and "vulnerable" as adjectives to describe how you feel in your friendship with her. These are often emotions felt by someone who's being manipulated.
I don't know the situation you and your friend were in or are in. But I'd advise you to re-read what you've posted here, and take a step back and look at why you feel the way you do. No matter what happened, you should NEVER feel like you've given her "power over you". That is a huge red flag of concern.
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