Razhie


"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.


Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

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    The Question
    I am a thirteen year old female and I have tried babysitting, petsitting, house sitting, house work, and pretty much everything. I dont have much money and I would like to start making some (I dont get allowance either) so anyways my point is, is there any jobs that I can get anywhere or do I have to be fourteen? Like can I get a job at a small shop or something?

    The Answer
    I don't know where the 15 and a half came from...

    In most states you need to be 14 before you can be an employee and 16 before you can handle other people's cash...

    Anyways, it sounds to me like you are doing all the right things. The only real exceptions to the age rule are if you work for a place like a summer camp, or if you work for a small family business. So unless you can find a job like that, you'll just need to keep doing what you are doing.

    Keep it at though, you certainly have the right idea. Try a bunch of things, be open-minded, and always be looking for work.
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    The Question
    i've noticed that in movies/pictures from like 100 years ago, women had extremely small waists (like 20 inch waists). i was wondering if they were just wearing corsets that made them extra skinny, or if they were just naturally that skinny? because i'm 15/f, 5'3", and my waist is like 28 inches, and my friends are the same. have women evolved that much?

    The Answer
    One hundred years ago nearly all women where using corsets to cinch their waists. The corset was very popular until the 1920's and was still used by women as late as the 1960's. Corsets aren't as ancient as people seem to think.

    So, it's not about evolution at all, naturally those women were shaped much like we are, it's about social convention: from the 1700's to 1900 nearly every European women wore a corset. The corset originally fell from use because a more natural shape was thought more attractive and achieved with the use of elastic and panty hoes instead. Then the corset stayed away as women began to see them as torture devices of the old male-dominated world.

    Women haven't evolved (although the civilized world as a whole has certainly gained weight) just our fashions have changed. Squeezing ourselves down to a 16 inch waist no longer determines our marriage prospects.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    What does it mean like when your reading an article and words are in [these]. Like for example "Jane had a [bad] day." or something? Thanks!

    The Answer
    Square brackets are used mostly when quoting people to put in missing information or a bit of extra explanation.

    For example, if I quoted you saying "It's been a great experience, I've really learned a lot here" people might not know what 'it' was, so I would write "It's [Advicenators] been a great experience, I've really learned a lot here." so everything would be clear.

    Square brackets are also used like this: [...] to indicate omitted information. So if you said "It's been a great experience. I've learned about this and that, and that stuff too, and yeah that, well I've really learned a lot here" I could write "It's been a great experience [...] I've really learned a lot here" and just omit all the useless stuff in-between.
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    The Question
    After my boyfriend fingers me, he says his fingers smell like fish for hours afterwards. Is this normal? How can i get it to not smell down there?

    The Answer
    Oh tell him to stop complaining! If he was a bit more worldly he would realize that that smell isn't just perfectly normal, it's also perfectly wonderful. He is just a lucky bastard to get that close to you in the first place...

    There is nothing you can do to remove the smell. Anything you could try would probably only cause discomfort or infection anyways as the discharge that gives off that smell in part of the vagina's normal self-cleansing.

    Soap and water works fine to wash the smell off his hands, but an alcohol based disinfectant like Purell works even better.
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    The Question
    Do you think my regular gynocologist will be able to tell that I have used the pill to induce an abortion?

    The Answer
    I doubt they would be able to tell. I'm not a doctor myself but I would think they wouldn't be able to unless they were looking for it, or if it was written on your file.

    I have to say though, keeping something like this from your husband is foolish and self-destructive, but trying to keep an abortion from your own doctor is downright stupid. Any abortion, medical, surgical or spontaneous can have serious effects on a women's physical, not to mention mental, health. In a botched abortion (or even a successful one) can create imbalances and complications months or years later, in the most serious of cases these complications can actually be fatal if left untreated.

    Lie and deceive your husband if you really can't manage any better, but don't play Russian Roulette with your health.
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    The Question
    I am a 23 year old female. I am happily married, but a few weeks ago, I made the mistake of having unprotected sex with someone other than my husband. I just found out that I am pregnant. I cannot keep the child because there is a good chance that my one-night-stand is that father. I want to have an medical abortion and disguise it as a miscarriage. My husband is a doctor, and I fear that he may be able to distinguish the difference between an induced miscarriage and a spontaneous one. What is the difference between a medical abortion and a spontaneous miscarriage?

    The Answer
    You can have a medical abortion in most states up to 56 days after your missed period. That simply means taking a pill and waiting for desired effect, which normally only takes a few hours, and that should be completely indistinguishable from a spontaneous abortion. There shouldn't be a need for you to have a surgical abortion (which would leave physical evidence) as long as you get started on it quickly.

    However, if I were playing the game you are I'd be more worried about how I was going to hide the cost from my husband. A medical abortion will run you between $300 and $600. Not exactly chump change.

    Good luck, you are going to need it.
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    The Question
    So my dad tells me how nobody in reality is going to respect me because i have a tongue ring. I thought respecting somebody wasnt because of how they look [as in having a tongue ring] and because i have 17 piercings. I swear he is embarassed of me and he wants like the perfect little daughter or something

    Ew. he makes me so mad. blahh

    The Answer
    There are two worlds you can choose to live in darling, the world where everything is as it ought to be, or the world that actually exists.

    In the world where everything is as it ought to be maybe people wouldn't make any judgments about you on the basis of your appearance or how many piercings you have.

    But let me welcome you to the world that is. In this world people do make judgments of others based on their appearance.

    You wouldn't go to a job interview in sweatpants and a dirty tank top would you?
    Of course not because that wouldn't get you the job and it would be disrespectful to the person who is interviewing you. Whether or not you agree with it, some people find piercing equally disrespectful.

    People will always respect your basic human rights no mater how many piercings you have, but the might not take you seriously as an employee, or a student or any number of other things.

    You're Dad might secretly want a perfect little daughter in pink frills and white bows, which isn't very kind or fair, but that doesn't mean he is wrong about respect. People who find your appearance disrespectful will probably not respect you. If you still choose to look the way you do, that is just something you are going to have to come to terms with.
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    The Question
    i broke up with my boyfriend of like more than a year and he got really upset. i told him that it wasnt his fault i just didnt think we had the chemistry. so was it wrong to break up with him weither he still loved you so so much? ill rate plz answer ♥

    The Answer
    If you don't want to be in a relationship with someone it really doesn't matter how much they love you. You could be the best thing to ever happen to them in their whole life, the only person they will every truly love, but even then, if you aren't happy breaking up with them is the right thing to do.

    A relationship takes two people; one person's feelings can't make a complete loving relationship no matter how strong they are.

    Stop beating yourself up. It's okay that your ex feels bad, nearly everyone feels bad when a relationship ends, and it isn't your fault he is unhappy. You did the right thing.
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    The Question
    I know this is going to sound weird but what is the actuall birds and the bees story, like how does it get told?

    Thanks :)

    The Answer
    The birds and the bees, OR the birds and the bees and the butterflies, OR the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, doesn't really have a story to go along with it. It's just a phrase, a very old one, used to describe the natural world and explain really basic reproduction to children in a symbolic way (without actually explaining the act).

    There are some songs and poems that use this phrase, but I'm pretty sure if there ever was an actual story about the birds and the bees, it's long lost now. Now it's just a cliché.

    Check it out:
    http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-bir1.htm
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    The Question
    This weekend, I'm visiting my girlfriend for the weekend. Unfortunately, on Saturday she has been invited to her ex's 21st birthday party. She says that he and his family are still good family friends, although she never hangs out with them or talks to them. So she is going and is dragging me to the party. I have expressed the fact that I feel uncomfortable about this, but she has taken a "Tough Shit" attitude towards my feelings. Is it irrational for me not to want to go and is there any way out of this? Help!

    The Answer
    I don't think it's irrational for you not to want to go. I wouldn't be comfortable going to any party where I was only going to know one other person.

    However, I think it would be wonderful if you could suck it up and go anyways. Your girlfriend probably feels awkward and obligated to go. I doubt she really wants to go either, but knows it's a 'Tough Shit' situation for her; she has no dignified or polite way to decline. Having you there with her would probably make her feel proud and secure. It would be very kind of you if you went with her.

    If you simply don't want to go at all, apologize to her and say it's just way to weird for you, and sit at home watching television. Be ready for a fight but take it as a compliment, she wants you with her out in public, no mater what that public consists of, she might even see it as your duty, but as long as you don't imply she shouldn't go I suppose you are fine to refuse to.
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    The Question
    Ok, I have always wondered if I were attracted to women more than men; I am a 22 year old woman and I met a really great man and of course got married. But I'm running into a problem; I started work with a new company and I am finding myself very attracted to the girl I work with. She is a lesbian and she also has a girlfriend. My husband has no idea that I have these feelings for this woman and this woman has no idea that I have these feelings for her. What should I do? Do I tell her that I have feelings for her? Do I tell my husband that I'm feeling these feelings too? I'm still very attracted and in love with my husband too, what do I do?

    The Answer
    What do you stand to gain here from telling your co-worker your feelings?
    Do you think you can pursue some sort of relationship with her despite both of your significant others?

    Unless you actually think there is a shot in hell of being able to act on your attraction to your co-worker in an honest and open way I can't see a good reason to tell her about your feelings. At best your admission will complicate your working relationship, at worse it will throw both of your relationships into conflict and strife.

    It always worries me when a persons question deals first with the person they find themselves attracted too and secondly with their spouse.

    Should you tell your husband? Yes, I think so. Most people understand their marriage vows to include sexual monogamy and the idea, however fanciful it might be, that they should be able to look to their spouse for all their sexual satisfaction. Don’t get me wrong, fantasy are fine! Wonderful even! But such a shift in your sexuality should defiantly be shared with your husband. He might feel frightened or threatened by this information, and from the way you phrased your question, he might have good reason to be, but at least he will know the truth.

    Your question mentions many of your feelings, and it's great you've recognized them, but it doesn't mention anything you are willing or planning to do. Do you want your husband on board as you explore your sexuality with another women? Are you looking for an clandestine affair? Is this just a part of your identity now, even though you plan on staying loyal to your husband? Talk to your husband and figure out what you want to do. Your responsibilities right now are to your marriage and to yourself. Your husband is going to want to know if you can be true to both of them, and you'll need to figure it out too.
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    The Question
    I used to be best friends with this guy, Mike, who is two years older than me. He had a HUGE crush on me, but I never felt the same way about him... so we never actually went out. Now, he has a girlfriend who is 15, while he is 18, and she hates me. She talks a lot of crap about me and calls me names. I have tried talking to both of them about it. Mike said he would talk to her, but it hasnt helped. Its now getting to the point where she is harassing me and saying really mean, hurtful, embarassing stuff. I dont know what else to do, and Im not sure why she is saying all this about me. I have never talked to the girl, and i have never talked about her... but for some reason she thinks i have. I told both her and Mike that I didnt. What else can I do?

    The Answer
    It sounds like you have done pretty much everything you can do, you've spoken to him, you've spoken to her and still this bull keeps going on. If her behavior really is harassment, keep a record of what she is saying and doing, especially if she is calling or e-mailing you. If she is confronting you in school you might try talking to a counselor or teacher about what you could do to stop it. They probably know about her and might have some more specific advice. Other then that, give both of them a nice wide berth.

    Mike isn't much of a friend if he is cool with someone treating you like this and she is simply scummy. So, maintain your innocence and avoid them. You've got no good reason to speak to either of them. If you can keep your cool she'll probably start to spit her venom somewhere else. If she really crosses the line, report her, either to your school or to the police.
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    The Question
    me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months now. he means everything to me and vise versa. we have been having sex for a few months now but it got out of control. every time we saw each other we would have sex and we didnt want it to start taking over our realationship and having it be all about sex, so we decided to take a little break until our 1 year anniversary. but when ever we are together he wants to fool around. dont get me wrong, i dont mind, i love being close to him but then sometimes hes like i really wish we had a condom. or later that night he will be pissed that we fooled around again. how can i find out what he really trully wants?

    The Answer
    He probably really wants sex AND really wants to have a happy balanced relationship that isn't all about sex.

    But don't worry so much about what he wants. Chances are he is nearly as confused as you are. So straighten him out by telling him what you want. If you want to stick to this deal, say so, and ask him to stop saying things that confuse or tempt you.

    If he made this agreement he needs to stand by it. Constantly saying things like he wishes he could have sex with you (even though that might be completely true) is confusing you unfairly and it makes you into the 'bad guy' each time you remind him that you've agreed not to have sex until your anniversary. He is probably just being a bit careless in what he is saying in those moments of passion and needs a little reminder of why you both are doing this.

    I think a period of abstinence is a fantastic idea in a relationship, especially if your sex life was getting a bit out of control. So keeping talking about it and try and stick it out.
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    The Question
    this is for everyone to answer.

    what age did you have your first boyfriend? and what age did you have you first kiss?


    i just wanna get some ideas. thanks.

    The Answer
    My first kiss was when I was thirteen, my first boyfriend at nineteen. It sounds weird like that...
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    The Question
    what are some really, really good harry potter fanfics? i just want to experience some because i don't really know what it is exactly. i feel left out. i am good with any rating. thanks

    The Answer
    I hope by now in your search for Harry Potter fanfiction you've discovered FictionAlley.org which has literally thousands of Harry Potter fanfictions.

    They also have a forum where they recommend really outstanding fanfics: http://forums.fictionalley.org/park/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=106
    Browse the recommendations there and you're sure to find a really good one. There is also another forum called Help! I'm looking for... where people could recommend fics based on your favorite characters or pairings and such if you posted and asked.

    There really are thousands of fanfics out there and I wouldn't recommend one without knowing a bit more of what you are into. The guys and gals at fictionalley are the experts in all things Harry Potter, so go ask them.

    Good luck.
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    The Question
    hey,
    how can I apply bronzer without looking orange?

    ty luv Rachel x

    The Answer
    If your bronzer is turning you orange, change brands.

    Bronzers that are mixed with a moisturizer and build up over several days to a light tan are much much less likely to turn your orange, although they do take longer. One of the best (and cheapest) moisturizer with bronzer is Nivea's Summer Touch. Trust me, I've tried a whole bunch of these things over the last few years.

    You could also mix your current bronzer with a plain moisturizer and apply it regularly to get a gradual tan.

    The thing about bronzers is they can create a decent light tan but never a convincing deep tan. I only apply mine so that I don't glow in the dark, any more then that and it starts to look silly. So if you are aiming for a nice dark and deep tan, you'll probably never be happy with a bronzer.

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    The Question
    my middle name is laverne I hate my middle name becouse everybody picks on me about it somehow people found out what it was at school and started making fun of me about it,my mom tells me that my middle name was my dad's middle name that's the only good thing about it.what should I do?

    The Answer
    Ignore them and don't respond to that name if you don't like it. Then you could change it, or just get over it.

    It's not the worst middle name I've ever heard and if it didn't so obviously bother you maybe people wouldn't have such a good time teasing you about it.

    You could legally change it, but that would be a bit disrespectful to your father and would probably only make the kids at school tease you even more.
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    The Question
    hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and my mom says that I can't go to a boys house or have a boy over my house even when she's home she says iam way to young for that,but she let my sisters have boyfriends over and have them over when they were only 15.I think the reason could be becouse I have attention deffesince disorder(add).do you think that could be the reason and how do I convince her that iam responsible enough to go to boys houses and have them over mine.Iam in special ed to could that be another reason?

    The Answer
    I think you should definitely discuss with your mother why she is making this rule. It could be that she has changed her mind since your other sisters, or it could be because she is more protective of you. Either way you'll only know the reason if you ask her.

    You could start by making her comfortable with boys around when she is home. Perhaps invite a male friend to dinner, that way she can be around almost the whole time and can get to know them.

    I have to say though, I am twenty-one and my mother still wont let me have boys over when she is not home and wont let me be in a room with a boy with the door closed. (Luckily for me I don't live in her house all the time.) Those are just her rules. They are a little silly, but it's her house and her rules. Sometimes we just have to respect our parents' rules because they are our parents, not because their rules make any sense.
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    The Question
    whaat does it mean when ya bf tells you that he wants to take a break from you... i no it means he wants sometime alone but does it mean anything else thanks
    ~royalprincess~

    The Answer
    It might simply mean that he wants to take a break and not have the added stress of a relationship at this time.

    But more often, it means he thinks he wants to break up with you, he just hasn't worked up the courage to do so yet.
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    The Question
    for pirates of the carribean, keira knightley said they had to paint on cleavage cuz her boobs were so small. well, im not really 'busty' or anything, so does anybody know HOW to painton cleavage??

    The Answer
    To be able to paint on cleavage you will probably need an associate degree in Film Make Up or Make Up Artistry, a few years as an apprentice, a few hundred dollars in paint and equipment to use every day (air-brushing machine, sponges, brushes etc.), silicon falsies under your clothing and about an hour each time you want to paint on your cleavage.

    It really isn't realistic for a home application hun. It's incredibly expensive, requires a professional artist and probably wouldn't be nearly so convincing in real life as it is on film. Invest in a good push up bra instead.
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