|
Ew. dads
So my dad tells me how nobody in reality is going to respect me because i have a tongue ring. I thought respecting somebody wasnt because of how they look [as in having a tongue ring] and because i have 17 piercings. I swear he is embarassed of me and he wants like the perfect little daughter or something
Ew. he makes me so mad. blahh
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Don't worry about it just as long as you respect them they should respect you!! If they don't respect you just because of some holes in your body then screw them. I kind of felt that people would look at me differently when i got my nose peirced but that didn't change at all. I was talking to my friends mom about it and she said
"i dont think anyone would think of you as a bad person just because you have your nose peirced because you are polite and you look adults in the eye when you are talking to them and being talked to"
so as long as you do that you should be respected!
hope this helps
]
i yi yi. Don't listen to your father on that. Tongue ring's are hot. :]
Anyway back to your question, no respecting someone has nothing at all to do with appearance. The reason your father maybe saying this is because: Daddy-o may feel that if there was supposed to be earrings [in where you got pierced] you would have been born that way. Or he may look at it this way, he may think that you're disrespecting yourself and body by how many piercings you have.
]
Hello, i no where you are coming from my parents wont let me have my tounge pirced until im 18 and i get it done my self. you should talk to your father and tell him how you feel. Also tell him that the pircings make you who you are.
]
My parents say the same thing. it's not that they don't respect you but like they'll look down on you for, know what i mean? i know there's nothing wrong with it and everyone has their own style but it's one of those things most people consider a sign of being "young & stupid". he just wants people to not judge you and the tounge ring might get you some unwanted judgement. it's a hard thing to understand and explain. just go with it, ley him think what he wants... you do still have the piercing so does it matter? <3
]
The other responders have essentially said what I was going to say, but to that I add:
A tongue ring seems to me to be a relatively easy thing to cover. If you're at a job interview or something, just don't stick your tongue out. Problem solved.
It's the other 16 piercings that might be a little more problematic, depending on their location. And yes, people will judge you by the way you look. But it seems to me that on a certain level, you WANT them to, or you probably wouldn't have enhanced your look to such a degree. I doubt you got pierced 17 times because you like the feel of needles. I may be wrong, but I would imagine that you did it because you feel the piercings enhance your appearance in some way. The main reason to change one's appearance or personal style is to have an effect on others. Appearance is only one of many things people judge others on, but it is the FIRST thing, and first impressions are hard to undo.
Your Dad is being a little extreme when he says that nobody is going to respect you. You could shave your head and paint it green, and someone out there would like it.
Presumably, you can temporarily remove or at least de-emphasize some of your piercings. You might try doing that sometime, fixing your hair conservatively and putting on clothes suitable for an office environment, and showing your Dad that you can present a professional appearance when you want to. He'll be less upset about it if you show that you can turn it off and on, so to speak.
If you can't do that, then maybe the piercings are defining your identity too much - in which case your Dad has a point.
]
Oh believe me. I know exactly how you feel. He probaly just wants the best for you and loves you so much that he criticizes you. Believe me I get grief all the time from my dad because of the people I hang out with. Just think of it this way. If he didn't care about you, he wouldn't even speak to you about it. Everybody I know goes through this with their parents. It's perfectly normal. Your dad is just being a dad.
]
There are two worlds you can choose to live in darling, the world where everything is as it ought to be, or the world that actually exists.
In the world where everything is as it ought to be maybe people wouldn't make any judgments about you on the basis of your appearance or how many piercings you have.
But let me welcome you to the world that is. In this world people do make judgments of others based on their appearance.
You wouldn't go to a job interview in sweatpants and a dirty tank top would you?
Of course not because that wouldn't get you the job and it would be disrespectful to the person who is interviewing you. Whether or not you agree with it, some people find piercing equally disrespectful.
People will always respect your basic human rights no mater how many piercings you have, but the might not take you seriously as an employee, or a student or any number of other things.
You're Dad might secretly want a perfect little daughter in pink frills and white bows, which isn't very kind or fair, but that doesn't mean he is wrong about respect. People who find your appearance disrespectful will probably not respect you. If you still choose to look the way you do, that is just something you are going to have to come to terms with.
]
Sorry if you don't like this, but to an extent--your dad is right. I don't think he is saying what he is saying to hurt you or put you down. He probably just wants to give you his opinion because he cares about you. People judge other people. It's just how things are. You have to look at it this way: If you are going for a job interview at a perstigious company, and the first thing the interviewer sees is a face and body chalked full of piercings, they are going to in turn make assumptions based on your appearance. That could affect you getting the job or not. Yes, I know we're not suppose to judge a book by its cover, but that's how our society naturally is. It's probably not that he wants you to be perfect, but he probably doesn't want people to think less or differently of you because you have a few more hole in your body than others. Just try talking to your dad. Express to him that you feel like this is a form of self expression and something you like. Say that you don't want to hurt or offend anybody, but that it DOES hurt you when he makes comments. I am sure he will be understanding, but at the same time, at least try to see where he is coming from. :)
]
More Questions: |