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Married and very attracted to a lesbian co-worker
Ok, I have always wondered if I were attracted to women more than men; I am a 22 year old woman and I met a really great man and of course got married. But I'm running into a problem; I started work with a new company and I am finding myself very attracted to the girl I work with. She is a lesbian and she also has a girlfriend. My husband has no idea that I have these feelings for this woman and this woman has no idea that I have these feelings for her. What should I do? Do I tell her that I have feelings for her? Do I tell my husband that I'm feeling these feelings too? I'm still very attracted and in love with my husband too, what do I do?
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no trust me youll regret it if you go for this girl.dont ruin your relationship with your husband cuz hes a great guy and you never know if you can find like him again.And you said it yourself she HAS a girlfreind and this way you will be ruining 2 relationships yours with your husbads and your co-workers with her "girlfreind" and besides even if you DO tell her that you like her its not going to get you anywhere...what are you going to marry her or have children with her??whatll you explain to your adopted kids then??and your poor husband,how would you like it if you one day found out that he was crushing on someone and a GUY at that!just.....sort out your feelings and think about what your about to do and the consenquences.
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Ok, as a married woman I gotta say whether it's men or women we are still attracted to others even when we are married. We're not dead!!
You say that you are still in love with your husband so no I wouldn't tell him. Do you think he tells you every time he is attracted to another person? Being married means that this is the man you have chosen to be with despite meeting people who if you weren't married too could possibly be a candidate for a relationship.
You could very possibly be bi-sexual, attracted to both sexes. I wouldn't tell this woman at work either, I mean she is in a relationship and if she was not interested in you then that would create alot of friction at your new job.
Hope this helped.
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What do you stand to gain here from telling your co-worker your feelings?
Do you think you can pursue some sort of relationship with her despite both of your significant others?
Unless you actually think there is a shot in hell of being able to act on your attraction to your co-worker in an honest and open way I can't see a good reason to tell her about your feelings. At best your admission will complicate your working relationship, at worse it will throw both of your relationships into conflict and strife.
It always worries me when a persons question deals first with the person they find themselves attracted too and secondly with their spouse.
Should you tell your husband? Yes, I think so. Most people understand their marriage vows to include sexual monogamy and the idea, however fanciful it might be, that they should be able to look to their spouse for all their sexual satisfaction. Don’t get me wrong, fantasy are fine! Wonderful even! But such a shift in your sexuality should defiantly be shared with your husband. He might feel frightened or threatened by this information, and from the way you phrased your question, he might have good reason to be, but at least he will know the truth.
Your question mentions many of your feelings, and it's great you've recognized them, but it doesn't mention anything you are willing or planning to do. Do you want your husband on board as you explore your sexuality with another women? Are you looking for an clandestine affair? Is this just a part of your identity now, even though you plan on staying loyal to your husband? Talk to your husband and figure out what you want to do. Your responsibilities right now are to your marriage and to yourself. Your husband is going to want to know if you can be true to both of them, and you'll need to figure it out too.
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