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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England



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advice

theres this girl at my school that is my friend but i like her more than that and she is going out with somebody. what should i do

If she's not single, then leave it.
Honestly.
Let's put you in the position of her boyfriend right now - how would you feel if someone told your girlfriend they liked her?
You'd be pretty pissed, right?
If she becomes single, then great, you can go about telling her you have feelings for her.
but for now, you're probably going to do more harm than good if you express those feelings. Sucks, I know.

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sometimes i wake up in the morning and my face looks more bloated than other days? like it looks freaking fat! what can i do if this happens to reduce it before the time i have to go to school? i have about an hour and a half. is there any way to reduce my bloatedness whenever this happens?

A quick Google search has stated there are many causes for swollen/bloated face.
* Allergic reaction
* Insect bite allergy
* Insect sting allergy
* Drug allergy
* Anaphylaxis
* Dental abscess
* Dental infection
* Sinus infection
* Sinusitis
* Telangiectasia
* Hypothyroidism
* Hyperthyroidism
* Cushing's syndrome
* Erysipelas

To name a few.

Do you have any other symptoms? Is it all of your face? How long has it been happening? Do you do/use anything different on the days it is swollen/bloated?
Are you 100% sure it's swollen/bloated and not just in your head? Sounds crazy, but it could be.
You need to pinpoint why it's happening. (Make up, face wash, detergent, birth control/medications, foods, etc etc)
You should see a doctor to help you come to a conclusion and be prescribed appropriate medicine if necessary.
In the mean time, to try and reduce the swelling before school, I'd recommend drinking plenty of water to hydrate your skin and body and a cool bath or shower.

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im only asking this because other websites have made me paranoid and im feeling stupidly stressed out. i gave my boyfriend a handjob then afterwards fingered myself obviously i washed my hand inbetween with soap but he didnt cum just got a little wet
i am due on my period and i am getting a brown coloured discharge...which i here can mean being pregnant:s

The user below is wrong, sperm doesn't die as soon as it hits the air.
BUT
The chance of you being pregnant is pretty much none.
1. He didn't cum (the chance of pre cum containing sperm is low)
2. The biggy - you washed your hands
The brown coloured discharge must be the start of your period.
Don't put yourself under so much stress and always remember to play it safe to prevent the worry in the future.

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I am in love with a celebrity. I met him and we talked for a little and I TOUCHED HIM. But I'm like obsessed with him but hes not really that famous. I have a legitimate crush on him. How do I deal with this? Is there way we can get married? =]

You're not alone. I'm sure LOTS of people have a crush on a celeb. It's no big deal. They have make up artists and stylists, so why WOULDN'T you find them attractive!
You need to realize though, the chance of anything ever happening between you both is pretty much zero, BUT that doesn't mean they can't be your hero and idol.

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I know you are not supposed to use soap down there, but is it ok to use baby whipes. Not the handy whipes, but the ones especially made for babies. Isn't that supposed to be gentil enough for a baby's privates? Would that be ok to use daily? Just to stay nice and fresh throughout the day. Thank you.

You can actually buy wipes for that area and they will not harm you - so you'd be better off using them.
I'm not saying baby wipes WILL harm you, just read the packaging first. You can get ones which are mild, just like water, for your body.
If you're still unsure, state which ones you want to use and I'm sure you'll get more help.

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my so called best friend is really annoying she lies about stupid stuff all the time to try and get attention or to impress people. she will try and say something to make you feel bad and make her look like shes better then everyone else. shes not popular at all and not a whole lot of people like her.. she always has to be right, she complains about everything and if i say no thats not right then she'll get mad and say im not stupid i know what im talking about and or that I always have to be right which isnt true and during practice i had hurt my elbow and she said stop being a baby you complain about everything that didnt hurt as bad as my arm did.. just stupid stuff and im really sick of it, i like her cuz shes not always like that but i dont know what i should do or if i should talk to her about it?

Does she realize she's doing this? I know of stories just like this and it turns out the person didn't realize how self centered they were being.
She just sounds like one of those people who doesn't properly think about what she says and if you actually talk to her about it, I'm sure she will take your feelings into consideration in the future and think before she speaks.

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im not gonna have sex for a while now. but i wanted to know if it will hurt. my boyfriend is a very rough person when it comes to this stuff(he likes his hair pulled and back scratched)he already tried fingering me and it hurt so much. i have a very high pain tolerance and using tampons hurts for me. is there anything i can do in the meantime to lower my pain tolerence?

At the moment, your pain tolerance is low, not high. But to be honest, that's not the point. If tampons hurt you, then no doubt a penis will. You need to tell your boyfriend that even though he likes it rough, you aren't quite the same, so when you two have sex, make him go softer and slower until you get used to it. If he likes the rough side of things then you can do those things to him. But when it comes to him pleasuring you, don't be afraid to tell him to be more gentle. I think he's just a little uneducated and thinks if he likes it like that, most others will too.
Just tell him. If you're engaging in sexual encounters with him, then you shouldn't be afraid to tell him how you like things.

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what do you have to do to earn their trust and show them that you can be trusted?

You can't expect people to trust you just like that.
Trust takes time.
You speed up the process by NOT doing things to break their trust for you.

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Is it embarrassing for a woman to wear maternity clothing when they are not pregnant? I've seen some really cute maternity clothing that I would love to wear but.. I am not pregnant.

Any advice would be awesome!

If you want to wear maternity clothing, then wear maternity clothing.
Lots of tops these days are baggy/over sized and floaty.. so I doubt anyone would be able to tell if they're maternity clothes anyway.

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18/f

okay so there is this song by plies called "want it, need it" it's pretty much a sex song haha.

there is a part where it goes:
whenever she think about me she get so wet
whenever she wants it she sends me a text..
"DO YOU WANT IT TONIGHT"
baby yes.

soo i was just wondering. i'm like obsessed with this song it makes me..feeel goood lol. anyways if i sent "do you want it tonight" part to a guy
would it be like sexy or just stupid? i'm always
trying to think of ways to be hot about things and when i heard this song i was like OMGahhh. but then i wouldnt want the guy to be like want what? youu know. and then it would just ruin the whole thing!

It's pretty obvious what you're initiating if you send a guy those lyrics.
Will he find it sexy? Depends on the guy I guess.

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14/f

Ok so I have this boyfriend and he is the same age as me, so he is definitely an immature guy. Most guys my age are. This is just a curious question. I don't know why but every guy I've liked were so immature but I liked it. Because they made me laugh. I know most guys are immature and will always be but some guys I know don't act like that. Its just weird because most girls complain and stuff like, "he is so immature" But I like it? I don't get whats up with that. Sorry for this stupid question but I was just curious. Thanks!

Nothing's wrong with it. You guys sound like you have a similar sense of humour and that's good.
Some poeple just aren't fond of immaturity in relationships.. but I say as long as you're both serious when you need to be, that's fine.
I'm 20 and still love the good old laugh and play fight every now and then :P

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So this is going to be long I apologize, but its really eating at me and I dont know what to do about it any more. I am dating a guy and I really like him in fact I think I love him. My parents don't and my sister deff. does not! My sister goes to my school so I can hardly even talk to him at school. He understands everything that is going on with my family and everything. My parents don't like him because he has slept with 37 girls. I know its a lot and people make mistakes he's been tested and he doesnt have any STD's or anything, my mom and sister thinks that all he wants from me is sex, all I have done at home the past like week is argue with my mom and sister, it is killing me I can't take it any more and my mom wont even let me talk and prove to her that he doesnt just want to sleep with me. My family is very religious and believes that you should not have sex until you are married, well I dont believe that and I am not a virgin, but I have only slept with 1 guy and my parents do not know that, but my boyfriend has made promises and showing the effort to prove to my parents that he is going to change for me, he is willing to go to church on sunday and everything and he wants to change, Im like a blessing to him, and he is to me as well..... My mom keeps targeting me and is like how are you ok with how many girls he has slept with... yeah its not ok and I understand that but I can look past that because he makes me very happy and my mom thinks he's just good at flaunting girls. I was holding hands with him at school and my sister heard about it and she went off on him and started screaming at him and called him a rapest and all this stuff I dont know how to deal with it, I wasnt to stay with him, but how do I get my family to realize that he is a good guy? Sorry this is so long.

Sorry, but I'm with your family.
You are at school, dating someone who has slept with 37 people.
Not 1, not 2, but 37.
I wouldn't even look at someone with that track record.
but once again, another naive little girl falls into the trap of a sweet talking boy.
I'm finding it hard to believe it took 37 girls to get him to realize he wants to change for you. How do you know he hasn't done this to others and as soon as they get sexual, he's ended their relationship and already on to banging his next victim?
Your mum is right... 37 girls down the line and you think he would know what to do and say to keep you 'til he gets what he wants.
Promises don't mean anything. He has to show you. and that takes time. Effort. Trust. and I don't see how you can trust the likes of that just now.
If you want to be on bad terms with your family for a man whore, then that's your choice and the risk you have to take.


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im the first born. i have younger brother and sister and my parents are harder,stricter towards me. they spoil the younger ones. its so unfair. they even know it and they just tel me what ever. they actually dont care.

any advice? i dont know what to do and i wanna act out but dont knwo how!

They are probably stricter towards you because you are maturing and they want you to set a good example for your younger siblings.
Alot of kids get spoilt when they're little and grow out of it when their parents start treating them differently.
It doesn't mean they don't care any more, they're just preparing you for the big growing up stage.
Don't "act out", if you want to hear their reasons, simply ask them why, in a mature manner.

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If i get described for anitdepressants, will i seriously..go insane? or what? or crazy?

I'll keep this short!
.. No.
Depending on your history and health, anti depressants sometimes don't work well with other mood stabilisers and other drugs.
If you do get prescribed anti depressants, it is unlikely it will worsen your symptoms. but if something was to trigger a side effect, your progress would be monitored anyway and your doctor would help you from there.
Plus;
Everything you need to know about the drug you'd be taking will be explained to you first.


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14/f

So about 3 and a half weeks ago, there was this new girl to my class... lets call her L. I thought she was kind of nice at first, cause, you know, she was like a new opportunity as a friend. It turned out one of my best friends (E) has been friends with her for awhile, so L sits at our lunch table now... but after the first day, I started to have my doubts about her, and same thing with the rest of the table (except for E). Here are some things about her that we don't like at all:

-She has so much acne her face is completely red

-She constantly talks about how she talks to ghosts... also how there used to be a mean ghost in her old house, and thats why the moved...

-She smells A LOT like smoke...

-Her hair is greasy and disgusting.. lots of dandruff

-She makes no effort to talk to anyone but E, even though she's hung out with us for about a month

-Also after a month, she still doesn't know my name. Or anyone else's for that matter.

-She's kind of a brat-she gets really upset if she doesn't get what she wants

-I think she's emo or something... I often see her in some class I'm in with her with her head down and her hair over her face, or just her hands over her eyes... it's kind of creepy.

-She is extremly clingy

-She's a total bitch to some of my friends

-No one likes her (except for the freak-girl clique...) and she's completely oblivious to it

-Every single day she has worn the same shoes-these obnoxious, calf-high, brown wedges that make an awful clacking noise when she walks

-SHE WON'T LEAVE US ALONE!!

And I could keep going but I think I'll stop now. And please, don't tell me to 'give her a chance because she's the new girl'. A-she's not exactally new anymore, and B- I think I listed at least 10 reasons why she's a creep. I really don't feel bad for her anymore.

So, I really need help on how to tell E that we really don't like L... without hurting anyone's feelings...? I don't know, I just really need some advice on what to do.

You are an idiot.
Re-read your question and tell me how you aren't being totally unfair.

1. "Here are some things about her that we don't like at all:
-She has so much acne her face is completely red"
Honey, she can't help having acne, it's called growing up - something YOU should be doing.


2. "-She constantly talks about how she talks to ghosts... also how there used to be a mean ghost in her old house, and thats why the moved..."
She must be interested in this type of thing, alot of people are. If you aren't, tell her.


3. "-She smells A LOT like smoke..."
Does she smoke? Do people in her family smoke? If so, she could be unaware. Perhaps you could find a nice way of letting her know.


4. "-Her hair is greasy and disgusting.. lots of dandruff"
and this is a valid reason to not want to be friends with someone? Because they have greasy hair? A nice group of friends would help her out a little with her image, maybe offer a make over etc.


5. "-She makes no effort to talk to anyone but E, even though she's hung out with us for about a month"
To be perfectly honest, a month is nothing. Some people take more time to settle in.


6. "-Also after a month, she still doesn't know my name. Or anyone else's for that matter."
Are you over exaggerating? If she genuinely doesn't, give it a bit of time for her to become used to the new surroundings.


7. "-She's kind of a brat-she gets really upset if she doesn't get what she wants"
She'll learn eventually.


8. "-I think she's emo or something... I often see her in some class I'm in with her with her head down and her hair over her face, or just her hands over her eyes... it's kind of creepy"
So what? She could be shy or something.


9. "-She is extremly clingy"
Clingy? Who to? I thought you said she doesn't bother with anyone apart from the person she knows well?


10. "-She's a total bitch to some of my friends"
How and why?


11. "-No one likes her (except for the freak-girl clique...) and she's completely oblivious to it"
Read the first line of my answer.


12. "-Every single day she has worn the same shoes-these obnoxious, calf-high, brown wedges that make an awful clacking noise when she walks"
Is school supposed to be a fashion show?


13. "-SHE WON'T LEAVE US ALONE!!"
I have an idea. Why don't you change schools and try being the new girl.




You really are being a fool. It can be extremely hard for some people to settle in. and I doubt the bad vibes coming from you and others is helping her feel welcome.
Sort it out. Stop picking up on stupid little things that don't mean anything. So what if she doesn't look how you want her to or wear different shoes? They are not valid reasons to not want to be friends with someone.
Try actually getting to know this girl. If you don't see a friendship blossoming, then simply don't associate with her. She's "E's" friend anyway, and "E" can hang out with whoever she likes, whether you like that person or not.






Oh, and in regards to your feedback:

"Who the hell are you to judge how I look at people?"
Did you even READ what you wrote in your ridiculous question?
I think not.

"I don't think you'd understand where I'm even coming from."
I'm not a mind reader you asshole. You write the question and I answer it - simple as. If there's more to the story, you should have wrote about it.

"you just made me dislike her even more. So thanks."
Good for you. She's better off without you as a friend anyway.

Have a nice day.

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f/17 okay so i was at a party the other night and i got completley wasted i dnt remember anything and theres a rumor going around that i slept w/ 4 guys but thats not me iv worked very hard to keep my reputation up i dnt no what to do or say i mean personally i think it should be counted as rape or something!!

Why should it be counted as rape? If it did happen, you could have consented for all you know.
Find out who the supposed guys are and go from there. I'm sure you'll find out the truth. and to be perfectly honest, I think you'd remember at least a little bit if you slept with 4 guys..
People might be joking.
but in future..
If you don't want things like this to happen again, don't get so wasted.

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Hello! 13/f here

well, i sometimes bottle up my emotions (i know, i know, its bad) because i dont really have anyone to talk to,because my mom is usually really busy with school work (shes getting a teaching degree) and my dad is usually tired from work. So, I am thinking of getting a Diary, but... where? I want one that has a lock, so nobody can read it obviously :P. I live in Elbow Valley just outside of Calgary, so any help? Chinook mall? Westhills? I need a place to get a diary with a lock,
Thanks for your help!!!!!! I need it to vent without hurting someone (which usually happens because of hormones and all, being a teen and all)
THANKSS!!!
~ scruffsc ~

I was in your position. I even went diary shopping! LOL.
Then, I realized, having an online diary is better, because you can write as much as you like, include pictures, etc etc.
Noone has to see it if you don't want them to - just make it private or don't give them your link.
Here's a few of the many available online journals out there:
www.livejournal.com
www.blogger.com
If you're still adamant on an actual diary, bookshops will sell them. I can't help much further, since living in England and all :P
Good luck anyway and happy venting ;)

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having a new b/g friend how do u get them to give u oral

You can't just get them to give you it.
You're going to have to wait until they are ready.
Once you two feel 100% comfortable with each other, you can talk about taking your relationship to other levels.

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my toe feels broken but im afraid to tell anyone. its like all purple and swolen. im soo scared!! what should i do?

It's nothing to be scared of hunni, but you do need to know if it is actually broken as opposed to badly bruised etc.
Which toe is it? Can you walk on it at all? How long have you had it?
If possible, tape it to the next toe and keep off it.
Even if it was broken, there's not alot that can be done (apart from strapping it to the next one) unless it's a very bad break, which needs realigning etc (but I think you'd know if that was the case) - but let's say that did happen, it's nothing to be scared about, as breaking toes is common and easily corrected.
For now, if it's causing you pain, take painkillers and rest.
If I were you, I'd get checked if it's not improving by a weeks time.
Broken toes are painful. but most of the time, not alot can be done for them.
Feel better soon.

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http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u140/bumarse/Crap/Possible.jpg?t=1233074520

So, on that picture, I've marked a spot.
I was wondering whether piercing places would do that piercing.
I don't know why, but I love it.
And I know for a fact that it won't get in the way, as I never wear glasses ;)
So my main question is, is it possible, and would piercing places do it?

Thanks!

Of course it's possible. Anywhere on your ear is, pretty much.
Any reputable piercing parlours will do it. Just go down and tell them what you want.

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