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will it hurt?
im not gonna have sex for a while now. but i wanted to know if it will hurt. my boyfriend is a very rough person when it comes to this stuff(he likes his hair pulled and back scratched)he already tried fingering me and it hurt so much. i have a very high pain tolerance and using tampons hurts for me. is there anything i can do in the meantime to lower my pain tolerence?
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Wait till your out of high school to have sex. Your body is not developed well enough before that, and it will be painful and messy. Also, tell your boyfriend to be gentle, just because he likes it rough doesn't mean you do. He's probably useing to many fingers at once, tell him to use like one or two at first. If he doesn't respect the fact that it hurts you and you need to take it slow, maybe you should let him go, even if its temporary.
I completely understand what your going through, for I went through the same thing. Just take you time and let your body grow slightly. I didn't lose my virginity till I was 19 and the first time didn't hurt at all.
If you do decide to have sex make sure you foreplay, that gets the natural lubricants going, and that you use waterbased lubericants, because oil based breaks down condoms. use a condom, or a contraseptive film (you can get them at drugstores I.E. wallgreens, I even found some at Albersons once) and tell him to take it real gentle and slow for the first couple of times. VERY SLOW, and then when you get confortable, maybe you can try it rough.
if you have anymore questions e-mail me at
"Jellybeansandtinkerbell@yahoo.com";
~<3 jelly belly
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At the moment, your pain tolerance is low, not high. But to be honest, that's not the point. If tampons hurt you, then no doubt a penis will. You need to tell your boyfriend that even though he likes it rough, you aren't quite the same, so when you two have sex, make him go softer and slower until you get used to it. If he likes the rough side of things then you can do those things to him. But when it comes to him pleasuring you, don't be afraid to tell him to be more gentle. I think he's just a little uneducated and thinks if he likes it like that, most others will too.
Just tell him. If you're engaging in sexual encounters with him, then you shouldn't be afraid to tell him how you like things.
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