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my parents
im the first born. i have younger brother and sister and my parents are harder,stricter towards me. they spoil the younger ones. its so unfair. they even know it and they just tel me what ever. they actually dont care.
any advice? i dont know what to do and i wanna act out but dont knwo how!
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Haha, the girl that answered this question before me.. I'm her sister.
And yes, I know EXACTLY what you're going through.
The reason being is that you are the oldest. And they expect you to be the example for the younger siblings that you have. They treat you as if you are an adult.
They just expect more from you.
And I'm 17 years old and when I was little, I thought the same exact thing. But I know my parents love me and my sister the same, as do yours I'm sure. They're not doing it because they love them more. They just expect you to be mature.
So here's what you can do:
Sit both of them down, without your siblings in the room, and calmy and maturely, (very adult like) explain how you've been feeling. If they say "whatever" or "we don't care" (which is unlikely), then tell them it's unfair of them to not listen to how you're feeling. Don't raise your voice or have an attitude. I'm sure you'll capture their attention and maybe things will get a little better.
Feel free to ask any further questions or update me on how things go.
Good luck.
-Kayla <3
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every older sibling feels like that.
I have an older sister and she feels the same way!
but your parents love all of yall the same, the only reason they treat you differently is because you're older and you're more mature, they want you to be a better exsample on both your younger brother and sister.
sometimes it's also harder to take care of younger kids, they're more of a hassle that may be why your parents pay attention to them more?
every kid thinks that parents pick favorites, and they think that there parents love there other siblings more.
trust me it's natural, I feel that same way all the time.
hope my advice helped.
:)
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Several reasons.
1) The problems you gave them when you were that age, they know how to better handle and its easier to remain calm when you've faced something before, thus its easier for them to not get angry with the younger ones.
2) Conversely, you are still providing them with problems they've never faced before. Its part of being a kid, and for them part of being a parent, but it also means they're going to be more cautious with you, because you are the one they are afraid they might screw up by making the wrong choices.
Parents are always afraid of failing their kids, of giving them too much freedom and those kids not being mature enough to handle it. When they see what you've handled, they have a bit more idea of what their kids are capable of, and are a bit more relaxed with those coming later.
3) They probably want you to set an example for the younger ones. They want to make sure you're capable of that, so they give you less room to provide your younger siblings examples of BAD behavior.
Its not really that fair, but you do have to understand their perspective. You fight this by showing maturity and responsibility, by doing what you say, and being somewhat independent minded.
Talk to your parents, be clear in the things you want from THEM, and let them know that you're clear on the things they want from you. You can use this to your advantage, because if you show them exactly what you want, you have the chance to get alot more freedom than you think.
You act out by showing them that you are more than equal to anything they ask of you, and you make their restrictions seem silly. Its defiance without fighting them. And in the end you'll be able to thank them for the parent's they've been, while they're proud of the person you become.
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They are probably stricter towards you because you are maturing and they want you to set a good example for your younger siblings.
Alot of kids get spoilt when they're little and grow out of it when their parents start treating them differently.
It doesn't mean they don't care any more, they're just preparing you for the big growing up stage.
Don't "act out", if you want to hear their reasons, simply ask them why, in a mature manner.
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