KaylaHutchinson's advice column

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Q: hey im 13 and i dont now what 69 means,

thanks ,
muriel

It's a sexual activity where the famale and male both perform oral sex at the same time.
The girl gets on top of the guy facing the opposite way and they both perform oral sex.

I hope this helps.

Q: My boyfriend is about almost 9 inches, thick as like, spray can of that string stuff. Im a 15f virgin, if we have sex, how bad should it hurt? Will it feel good at all ? If not, about how many times after should it feel good? and my cherry is already popped.

Oh dang.
9 inches is pretty big, and thick as a spray can?!
Well, everyone is built differently.
It all depends on the way your body is.
Some girls don't even feel it, some girls say it's excruciating pain. Nobody can really tell but you.
Has it ever hurt when he's fingered you?
And yes, it will start feeling good after a few times. The first few times, if you're a girl that will hurt the first time, it won't be quite so enjoyable.
It shouldn't hurt AS bad if you've been fingered alot or if you've been using tampons for a long period of time.
It just depends on YOUR body.
Hope this helps :D

Q: okay so my girlfriend is pregnant and she dont get her period does that mean the baby is like drinking the blood?

Uhm, okay.
First of all, if all the dumbasses below me could spell PREGNANT right, they'd look a little less stupid.
Second of all, YOU DON'T GET YOUR PERIOD BECAUSE YOUR EGG BREAKS.
The person that said that is RETARDED.
And it's not true that ALL women don't get their period when they're pregnant. Some don't get their period, but some do!
This question MUST be a joke.
If you're even old enough to have sex, you should know the answer to this question.
Come on now.

Q: Hi i'm 16 and i have had sex almost a year ago and i have lied to my mother she has no clue when i go to the doctor i lie about it ya i know its bad but just recently i had sex with a guy who was 18 he then got a gf the next day and told me that he was just using me because he was lonley and wanted someone and since he is 18 and he kind of tricked me into doing it with him because that day i had no intention in doing it with him is it rape should i tell my mom he doesn't speak to me at all anymore he ignores me what should i do

Wow.
What a jerk! I'm sorry :/

A mother deserves to know something like this, especially if it involves her own daughter.
You can indeed press charges if you feel like that's necessary and that he took conplete advantage of you and pressured you into it.
But telling your mother, as hard as it may seem to do, it's not that bad.
She'll feel more sympathy than anger and if you tell her it's rape, she can't be mad at you.
Just tell her the truth and see if she'll make you a doctor's appointment to get checked. You need to make sure that jerk didn't have any STD's.
I really hope everything works out for you.

Feel free to ask further questions or update me about anything at any time to my personal inbox.
Best of luck. God Bless You. :)

-Kayla

Q: my best friend lies to me allllll the time. about probably everything. i never know what to even believe anymore. like nothing huge, but just small stuff. like i'll ask her what she did tonight, & she'll be like oh i went to the movies with my sister. & really it was her other friend. & i don't know why she lies about this? i dont care if she went there with other people? i hang out with other people too, ha? i confronted her about it, and she said she wouldn't do it again. but obviously she still is. what do i do? i don't even know if i should bother being friends with her.. i kinda feel like shes holding me back.. nobody really likes her.

Friends don't really lie to each other.
It's one thing to tell white lies every once in a while to maybe avoid hurting their feelings but lieing about what you did that night is rediculous. It's not something that your bestfriend should do.
You don't just want to sit there and wonder if she's really telling you the truth.
You should sit her down and talk to her about it one last time and if it doesn't change, she's not worth having for a friend.
Say "You're my bestfriend and everything. But you lie about everything! You don't understand the concept that I don't care if you hangout with other people. You don't have to LIE about it. I want to be able to believe what you say, not wonder if you're really telling me the truth."
She should understand :)

Hope I helped.
Feel free to ask further questions to my personal inbox or update me on anything that happens :)

-Kayla

Q: Ok so i recently had sex with a jerk who i don't talk to anymore now i am still sort of interested in my very first love he goes to high school with me but is a freshmen because he failed but he has always been thier for me and did love me at one time i would like to have him back in my life but of course he has new girls and has moved on also so should i send him a myspace message because i don't have his cell anymore and tell him how i feel and see if we could rekindle what we had or should i not and just let it be

Well, in my opinion, I think you should.
If it were me, I would. Although it'd be VERY hard. But what's the worse that can happen? Rejection?
Just be confident and tell him exactly how you feel.

Hope I helped :)

-Kayla

Q: 18/f, i've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. he's always telling me how much he loves me and doesn't wanna lose me, and how beautiful i am, the whole nine yards. the problem is i have severe jealously issues, and almost ALL his friends are girls, and he is a flirt! he doesn't try to be, it's just his personality. he's not like a ladies man or anything, he only had two girlfriends before me [that only lasted like a couple months], they are just his friends, but i cant shake the issue. he is ALWAYS texting girls, and will like purposely turn the phone away from me so i cant see what theyre saying. it's not like im trying to be nosy, but that would make anyone wonder, even though he used to read my msgs when we first got together, although he says he "doesnt remember". even if he comments his girl friends, he'll say stuff like he loves their profile picture, and all his comments always have the little winky flirty face ;-). it really kills me inside, even though i know it shouldnt. i know people say "just remember he's with you and not them", and i know, but for anyone who has jealousy issues, you know it still hurts and you still wonder. he's never given me a reason not to trust him; he's the only guy i've ever dated who HASN'T cheated or used me, but i still wonder. i've talked to him about it several times, and when i do he either gets upset and says he would never hurt me, or gets defensive and says stuff like "fine i wont talk to any girls ever again!", which just upsets me more. he has every right to have girl friends and i dont want him not to, but just cant help the way i feel. i dont want to control him or know EVERY thing he's doing, but i just hate when i come across those things or he's texting his girl friends when im around and it feels like i get punched in the stomach. he was texting one last night and i kept making faces and he finally was like "do you just want me to turn my phone off?" and i was like yeah. i honestly dont think he'd ever cheat on me. ALL his friends and family know about me [if they dont actually know me] and he talks about me all the time, but sometimes i wonder if there'd be a girl who would know about me, but wouldnt care, and be trying to hang all over him and stuff. guys look at me and flirt with me quite often, but i dont have many guy friends that i regularly talk to, and i tell him EVERY THING guys say to me as far as trying to get with me and stuff, and i guess it just sux to know that he has ALL these girls for friends, and i dont really get told anything. how can i fix this? i hate that im so jealous. i always have been, and it's not always so bad, but sometimes, it really is, and i NEED to fix it. what should i do? i just cant shake it.

Wow,
it sounds like EXACTLY what me and MY boyfriend are going through. Except you trust yours and I don't. lol
But other than that, I know how you feel.
I think it's that we HATE the idea of him having another girl in his life, friend or not. And we want to be the only one, yet we don't want to come off as crazy psycho control freakish, correct?
As far as the texting girls when he's WITH you and being so secretive about it... That's a little bit, ehh.
Flirting may be in his blood or his personality, whatever, flirting is flirting. There's no excuse for it and if he's just like "Oh, that's just how I am. I flirt with everyone", tell him you don't like it. You don't have to be rude about it, just tell him exactly what you said in this message. Tell him you want him to have friends and it's okay if they're girls but there are boundaries and sometimes, he crosses the line just a little bit. If he really does care about your feelings and what bothers you, I'm sure he'll understand.
Just be calm about it.

And I'm the same way. I have few guy friends because I feel guilty for even talking to another guy and I know I probably shouldn't but hey, it's better than flirting it up with every guy I see.
He even tells me that I can have guy friends. I just kinda prefer not to.

You can't be hiding feelings from him, especially feelings like these. These are problems that need to be discussed within your relationship and tell him he needs to slow it down- the flirting and all.

You can't HELP that you're so jealous. It's not anything you're doing wrong. It's a matter of bottled up feelings and maybe just a LITTLE untrustworthiness. Tell him everything; how you've been feeling, EVERYTHING.
If he takes it the wrong way, make sure you include that you're NOT trying to control him. You just don't know how to deal with jealousy and him talking to all those girls certainly doesn't help.

I hope I helped you even the slightest bit.

Feel free to ask my further questions or update me on anything that goes on.
Good luck
-Kayla

Q: (I am a female) I know that different guys prefer different things, but in general would it be the safest bet to shave/remove the hair "down there" or to leave the hair?

and also, what's the best way to get rid of hair in the bikini area?

Well, you can't really generalize this topic. It just depends on the guy. What he likes is what he likes. I'll give you an opinion type thing though if that's what you're looking for: most guys IVE talked to prefer it shaved, but a little bit of hair won't matter, I'm sure. I mean, you can't shave it every single day or you'll get crazy razer burns. haha

And you can shave, get a bikini wax, or even laser hair removal if that's what you want.
Then you'll never have to worry about shaving there. You should look into it.

Hope I helped :)

-Kayla

Q: i been on the pill for a couple months now.. i miss my pill on saturday its now sunday i took saturdays pill and sundays pill today (sunday) tomorrow im going to have sex (unprotected) what are the chances of me getting pregnant

Missing the pill doesn't really matter, as long as you take it the next day.
Or if you have sex the day BEFORE you miss it, you may become pregnant.
But if you miss it, and THEN have sex, the chances will be the same.
Just try not to miss the next few days because I know people who have had unprotected sex and then missed the pill for 3 days and became pregnant so just be careful and try to remember to take it that day and the next few days after that.

Hope I helped.
-Kayla

Q: so me n my boyfrend have been dating for 8 months. i really love him n tell him. i have so much feelings for him but i can only seem to get them out in texts or notes i give to him. i can never say them in person cuz my mind goes blank n i cant figure out the words to say how i feel n how much he really means to me. how can i tell him this in person without gettin at a loss for words?

Well,
the problem is that you're shy. And you shouldn't be 8 months into the relationship.
But I know what you mean.
I used to just think it sounded weird coming from me because I'm dating my first love and I haven't had any real dating experience BEFORE him. You just need to clear your head. Stop worrying about sounding dumb or him thinking you're weird or whatever it is you're scared of.
If you can tell him how you feel to his face, you'll break the ice and become so much more comfortable to just say it all the time. Just say what you would in a note with your words.
I hope I helped
-Kayla

Q: So i lost my virginity almost a year ago it was extremly painful and my guy barly got his penis in because it was too painful for me. The second time i had sex with him it hurt again really badly i was starting to get frustrated then i had sex a couple weeks ago with a differn't guy and it was also extremly painful now i do not have any std's and i do not have a urinary infectionn or anything like that i already got that checked out but i want to know why it is so incredibly painful when i have sex i want to be able to have good sex is it because i don't trust my partners and i'm worried and afraid does it cause me to be uncomfortable i just need some advice im 17 and Female

Well, personally, I can't relate because my first time didn't hurt at all.
But that proves the point that every girl is built differently. You may be tighter than most girls. It's just how your body is.
Typically, your first few times are supposed to hurt. It won't start getting good until probably around the 7th or 8th time.
Your nerves could also be a factor in why your body isn't allowing it to happen. Just try to let go of everything, mentally. Your worries, your fears, your responsibilities. Just let it happen mentally and push through it.
You should be fine.

-Kayla

Q: Ok i know this question is kind of stupid but i had sex with a real jerk and a guy who took advantage of me who is no longer my friend and i was wondering if it was possible for me to become a virgin again it would help me feel much better so leave me some advice please

Physically, yes.
Spiritually, no.
The only way you can become a "virgin" again is to have surgery.
Yes, they have surgeries that make you physically look like you're a virgin by making you tighter, I guess. They're very pricy.

But think about it. I'm sorry to admit it but your virginity is the one thing that you'll never be able to get back :/
He took something very special and unique from you and you may physically become a virgin or go to a virginal ceremony, whatever. You still will internally be a virgin and you will know that always in your mind.
I'm sorry this happened to you :/
I hope I helped.

Feel free to ask any further questions or update me on anything that goes on.
Good luck.
-Kayla

Q: Okay,first off i haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years,(15/f.blah.whatever)and it only lasted a month. I know people always say "love yourself before you can love someone else"- i do, and i have great friends and i'm really happy.I know i dont need a guy to be happy- Its just I reaaaally want to be in love! Its not helping that all of the sudden theres like romance everywhere,but me, all aloonnne!its like taunting me haha.I keep envisioning meeting "the guy of my dreams" at like the movies or the mall-because i heard if you do this you can attract it to happen-but none of it works!I can't be set up with people,no no no. I'm not ugly,i have a great personality. Its just the fact that its impossible for me to ever meet a guy anywhere! So i guess what i'm asking is- How can i meet guys at like the mall or something like that? And have you ever had a -love-at-first-sight thing happen to you? If you have,what happend? Thanks so much for the imput and advice!

You're absolutely right.
You DON'T need a guy to be happy.
Just because all your friends have boyfriends, doesn't mean you have to have one. Boyfriends can be great but you can't hunt for them.
Especially if you're looking for "the one".
They'll come to you, as cliche as that might sound.
It might be a little difficult to live without a boyfriend and you're INLOVE with the idea of being inlove.
But you're 15 years old!
I'm 17 and I just barely found someone I'm actually happy with.
I went the same amount of time without and boyfriend and all my friends would try and hook me up with their boyfriend's friends but I'd NEVER be interested.
I was in the same boat.
My current boyfriend was actually my bestfriend at one time and personally, that's the best kind of relationship to have. When you build a really strong friendship with a guy, you've seen sides of him that are the TRUE him and if it's fate, then it'll escalate to something more.
You may think "He's just my friend. I can't see him as anything more than that" and that may be true but try and be open-minded with the whole issue. Think about it.
You don't want to just go out with some random guy.
Go out with someone you KNOW. That's the best way to find love :)

Feel free to ask any further questions or update me on anything that goes on

Good luck

-Kayla

Q: im the first born. i have younger brother and sister and my parents are harder,stricter towards me. they spoil the younger ones. its so unfair. they even know it and they just tel me what ever. they actually dont care.

any advice? i dont know what to do and i wanna act out but dont knwo how!

Haha, the girl that answered this question before me.. I'm her sister.

And yes, I know EXACTLY what you're going through.
The reason being is that you are the oldest. And they expect you to be the example for the younger siblings that you have. They treat you as if you are an adult.
They just expect more from you.
And I'm 17 years old and when I was little, I thought the same exact thing. But I know my parents love me and my sister the same, as do yours I'm sure. They're not doing it because they love them more. They just expect you to be mature.
So here's what you can do:
Sit both of them down, without your siblings in the room, and calmy and maturely, (very adult like) explain how you've been feeling. If they say "whatever" or "we don't care" (which is unlikely), then tell them it's unfair of them to not listen to how you're feeling. Don't raise your voice or have an attitude. I'm sure you'll capture their attention and maybe things will get a little better.

Feel free to ask any further questions or update me on how things go.
Good luck.

-Kayla

Q: me and my friend got to know eachother in myspace and known eachother for 3 weeks we've been talking to eachother on online a lot and she said"it feels like we've known longer even though we met 3 weeks ago" but in person its kind of different cause theres some awkwardness when we talk in class what does she mean? and have you ever felt that way?

Well,
of course it's going to be awkward because you barely know anything about each other.
I mean, you may know things about each other but you barely know each other's personalities.
That's most likely what's causing it to be weird.
If you hangout more often and talk more, it will gradually begin to start less awkward and maybe become a really strong friendship.
Who knows?

You'll never know until you try :D

And yes, I know exactly what you mean. I've been there. It goes away, trust me.

Feel free to ask me further questions or update me on how everything goes for you.

-Kayla

Q:

Let's just say "Sally" and "Bob"..

Well Sally has a boyfriend and her boyfriend don't like me.. Well over the days.. he told Sally that i texted him saying "im bored" and "Your hot"!
and Sally just texted me out of no where "I FREAKING HATE YOU!!!!" and that i need to leave her and her boyfriend alone! and i dont even know what i did untell a little birdy told me today that he told her that i texted him that stuff! so now she is mad at me and the little birdy asked her if she was mad at me because i didnt do it and she said "yeah because Bob would never lie to me and make me sad" and blah blah blah! so i dont know anymore!

It's like...

Just because you (Bob) don't like me,, that doesnt mean that me and Sally can not be friends.. so he just wants us to fight and not to be friends i guess.. because Supposebly i like him! HAHAHA NOOOTTTT!!! and i tried to tell her that i never texted him and that i don't like him but she believes her boyfriend! so whatever.. she thought that he wouldn't lie to her.. well he just did! and if i did text him then he would know my number (BUT HE DON'T) haha!
And i would NEVER hurt her because she "was" my friend and i don't even like her boyfriend and i never will.. but i guess she don't believe me..
so now she is saying that i'm not a true friend and that she should of known before that i was not a true friend and blah blah blah!

And Sally was one of my best friends but i dont know what to do because i've tried to tell her that i didnt do it!

what do i do??

Aw,
well it seems to me that she really doesn't know what a true friend is.
Is this her first boyfriend? Because if it is, she may have just got caught up in having a boyfriend.

The honest truth is.. chances are they're not going to be together forever. And she'll realize what she's lost. Her best friend.

Maybe you should try calling Sally and telling her that you hate fighting with her and ask her to please listen to what you have to say. Explain to her that you never texted Bob and that you would never do that to your bestfriend and if she was ever your bestfriend, she will believe YOU. Not some boy.

I really hope everything works out okay. I'm sorry that your friend doesn't know what she's missed. She will soon , hopefully :D

Feel free to ask any further questions or update me on how it goes.
Good luck.

-Kayla

Q: Female/ 17

So last year I met this guy. He was in 2 of my classes and we got to be really close. We had a lot of fun together and flirted alot. He'd always work with me in class and we always talked and laughed together. I started to like him. But he had a girlfriend. He found ways to text me and talk to me. but he never knew how I felt.

Then When I hooked up with my ex. At the same time he broke up with his girlfriend. He was always interested in how my boyfriend was. and he would always ask questions about my really close guy friend. he was always wondering why we were so close. and he'd get weird when I would talk about other guys,

Then when this year rolled around and he's in my math class...we never talk , and he's gotten all weird. He just looks at me all the time, but he acts like we were never close.

I still have feelings for him. But I want to know why he's so weird now? and does he still have feelings?

HELP!

Hey!

My opinion on the matter is that he's shy because HE thinks you don't like HIM. As you said, you never said how you felt.
By the way you described it, it seems like he really liked you. If he didn't, he wouldn't be getting jealous when you talked to other guys.
You should gradually start talking to him again, as FRIENDS. Start over.
Then, as your friendship starts gradually being restored, maybe tell him that you like him as more than a friend.

Feel free to ask further questions or update me on how it goes :D

-Kayla

Q: dear Advicenators,

do you know how depressing it's going to be pretending like i ENJOY having a long distance relationship over valentine's day? i am so done with it.

some tips for meeting guys please?

thanks

The best way to look for a guy is to NOT look for one.
That sounds like it doesn't make sense but it does.
Don't TRY so hard to find one. They'll come to you. Believe me.
Go out and do something with your friends, something you enjoy doing.
Participate in a club, organization, etc. That's a great to meet a guy. And they'll most likely have the same interests as you, in participating in the same thing as you.
Remember not to try too hard and as cliche as it sounds, just be yourself!
:D

Feel free to ask any further questions.
-Kayla

Q: 14/F Sorry this might be a little long.

So there's this girl who's been at our school for awhile now maybe a month or two let's call her L... there's been two new girls after her, so she's not really the new girl anymore... So my friend, let's call her E, has been friends with her for awhile (L was at a school with a bunch of people from our school, so it's not like she doesn't know ANYONE), so she hangs out with us.

I kind of liked L at first, but now she's getting on my and my other friends nerves. She's sort of clingy to us, and she kind of doesn't shut up. She talks about weird things, like how she talks to ghosts and how much she loves her little brother and how much she loves bologna...etc.

Now, I'm not a mean person at all. I'm always really nice to her and I talk to her and stuff, but she seems to ignore me a lot, and she doesn't even know my name still. And no, I'm not exaggerating that, she really doesn't know my name, or any of my other friend's names (except for E). She's also really mean to my some of my guy friends, and two of my girl friends in particular. With my guy friends, she doesn't let them sit at our lunch table and yells at them and calls them creeps. With my 2 girls friends, she picks at their interests/disinterests and is always yelling at them and being a bitch to them

So yes, I know there's really nothing I can do about it. And yes, I also know I might sound like I'm being judgmental, but I'm trying really hard not to be. I always give people chances and I'm really nice to people, but she seems to be passing up every chance I give her, and she's mean to me, so that's not fair.

What I'm asking is, how am I supposed to tell E that no one is really warming up to her? I know E is allowed to be friends with whomever she wants, but I can never, EVER be around E alone or talk to her privately without L crowding around us. E is totally oblivious to her behavior. So I need help on what to do! Thank you so much!

Hm. Seems like a pretty tough situation to me.
The best thing I can advise you to do is to arrange a day for you and E to hangout ALONE and go to the movies, go shopping, or just hangout at yours/hers house, doesn't matter. And calmy and as nicely as possible, suggest subtly that all of your friends are telling you that L is rude and disrespectful to them. If E starts acting irritated, make sure you add that you don't mind if E is friends with her and you're not being jealous or anything. Tell her it's just an observation.
If she gets angry at you, tell her you're not trying to be mean and control who she hangs out with. You're just simply telling her like it is. And if she still doesn't understand after that, then idk. She's probably not a true friend, as much as I'd hate to admit that. :/
Any true friend would accept yours AND your friends criticism without getting angry or irritated.
Please feel free to ask me further questions or update how the situation goes.
I'd love to hear back from you :D

-Kayla

Q: i have NO layout code on my page. all i have are photo codes from photobucket, a banner code and a code to hide my top friends. NO LAYOUT CODE! and when i try to add a layout, it doesnt show up! i am completely perplexed! WHAT could possibly be blocking these layout codes from working??

Sometimes,
part of a code that you have already entered in your About Me/Who I'd Like To Meet is preventing this. You should delete all your codes and try getting them from a different website.
That's what I did.
I had the same exact problem not too long ago but I put the layout code on FIRST and THEN put the extra codes on there. And preview your profile in between putting all the codes. That way, you can see exactly which code could be preventing you from applying your Myspace layout.

I hope this advice helps you!
-Kayla