about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.






advice

hello! :]] (14/female)

so, my hair is like a medium brown (natrually)
i want it to be darker, but my mom wont let me dye it :/.

so, i would like to know if theres anything i can use to like wash my hair or something that will make my hair darker without hurting my hair?!


thanks!!!!

Only thing I can think of offhand is you can get hair coloring that isn't permanent. I think some is called Casting?
Anyhow, it washes out in I think 20-24 washes, something like that.
If you go way darker, it may stain your hair, but if you are only going a few shades darker, it should wash right out as it supposed to.

I don't know if that helps, but maybe your mom will let you use it, since it isn't permanent.

ygs-30/f

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well...my friends sometimes dont use conditoner and i do. and i was just wondering what does the shampo do for your hair and what does the conditioner do to your hair?

Shampoo cleans your hair. It is sort of a stripping agent, if you will. Strips out the dirt and oil. However, for your hair to be it's healthiest, it needs some of those oils.

That is where conditioner comes into play. It adds back some oils to your hair to keep it healthy and aid in drying and breaking damage caused from shampoo, but mostly from heat/chemical treatment and styling product damage.
Yes, hair spray and the like ARE damaging. They contain alcohol, which is a drying agent.

Realistically, unless your hair is dirty, it is best to wash at the minimum of every other day.

ygs-30/f

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This past year, I was in an abusive relationship you could say. I liked him for some reason, and so my friend set us up. Well, nobody at my school approved and I couldn't understand why. Until...well, apparently he'd had a reputation for sexually abusing girlfriends. And I was next? Whenever we'd go anywhere, he'd sit way too close. Hold me way way uncomfortably tight. He'd smell my hair and my face when I wasn't looking. This was the first week of our relationship. He was too intense, too much. I felt overwhelmed. And I went in to kiss him gently once, but the next thing I know we were making out. I'd never made out with anyone before and I didn't like it at all. It just felt empty and yet invasive and disgusting. And I tried really really hard to pull away, but he wouldn't let me the first time. The second time though, he did. I hated it.

Then, after taking a little over a month of this...I dumped him. But he was manipulative and intimidating and somehow managed to make me feel so guilty that I went out with him again. I don't know why. I was so so stupid. But he made me feel so stupid too. And I still feel stupid. I finally broke out of the relationship seven months ago. But then he wouldn't leave me alone. He kept trying to talk to me forever until finally I just freaked out at him and he doesn't ever try to talk to me again.

It was seven months ago. And I'm still not over the way he made me feel. And that is so not a good thing. He made me feel stupid. Stupid for ever going out with him in the first place, stupid for kissing him, stupid for wanting to go back to him. Just stupid.

I just want to be loved. He didn't care for me at all. He just wanted me as some...some sex machine. And I wasn't ready for that. At all. He didn't rape me, but he made me feel like he might. I don't even know. I feel like nobody wants me. I feel so stupid, like it's my fault that I keep getting hurt. Is it? =[

-15/f

Why is it your fault that he's a weirdo? How are you stupid for giving someone the benefit of the doubt?
Sure, it ends up he's a jerk who made you totally uncomfortable. But why should that make you feel stupid?
He's underhanded and manipulative and made you feel guilty until you went back to him. HE is the person who has something wrong with them. HE is the stupid one. HE is the one at fault. YOU ARE NOT.

You live and you learn, dear. Sometimes you learn things you don't want to, sometimes you end up learning those things the hard way, but that never makes you stupid. NEVER.

Give yourself time to be able to move past all this. If you feel you need to seek counseling, there's no shame in that. Whatever helps you to move on with your life with your head held high. You certainly don't deserve to have some stupid bozo making you walk around looking at your feet.

ygs-30/f

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In 2006 my ex want me back, i get confours sorry (cant spell) but after 2 years he want me back, he ahve been trying to get in torch with with my old number that i dont have anymore then the next thing gone off with me, have i done something wrong? i was a bit over weight

how can you tell that my ex-boyfriend gave an evil look at my male friend?

If he's your ex from four years ago, why should you let any of this matter so much that it bothers you?

If being overweight is doing something wrong in your ex's eyes, then that's all the better reason he is your ex. Right?

If he gave your friend an evil look, then I think trusting your friend's word should be enough proof. Right?

ygs-30/f

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15/f

so me and my best friend have been best friends for almost two years. recently she's starting to diss me in front of people but act all nice to me when no one is around. so today we were talking about first impressions. And she was just saying to me how her facial expressions may seem rude but she's a nice person. She wanted me to agree with her but i didn't fully agree with her though. so i just nodded my head and stayed silent. so then she goes " Well if i'm not nice you're not either!!" do you think that's rude?! would you think a person is nice if they act rude around people but nice to you when no one is around? what should i do about her?! how should i tell her that she needs to stop?!

THANKS IN ADVANCE!

She doesn't sound very nice to me.
Shoot, this statement alone, "Well if I'm not nice you're not either!!" shows that. Nice people don't say things like that.
What should you do about her? Hmmm... Well, it boils down to this:
Is her friendship REALLY worth being treated that way? Is it worth putting up with that?
If you talked to her about this problem, would she listen? Would she actually stop?

You gotta come up with those answers. If the answers are NO, then perhaps you need to find a new friend.

If you ask me, she doesn't deserve to be called your best friend. Your best friend treats you like you mean something special to them, they don't treat you like an asshole.
Honestly, she doesn't even deserve for you to call her friend at all.

ygs-30/f

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I'm 18/f and my best friend is 16/f. She is a very pretty girl. Perfect weight, shape for her age. But like every other girl in America she constantly sees the ads in magazines and on TV that say we have to be 'better', 'thinner' 'sexier'. I never thought she was into that garbage. But lately she's constantly rambling about how the models and the stars diet and work-out to have the perfect body, and I'm starting to worry about her. I've given her the "You don't have to look like that to be perfect" speech, but she just gets angry and stars listing off the things that are "wrong" with her own body (flabby thighs, un-sculpted abs etc.)

What can I tell her to snap her out of this?

Thanks
Concerned

Show her the below video. It shows how those imperfect women look so perfect.
In other words, the people she sees in the media that she thinks look so great, don't even exist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

ygs-30/f

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The following is based on assumptions that could be completely wrong, but I still want your opinion anyway, should my assumptions be correct.
I wanted to start a Gridiron club at my school for girls. Turns out, this girl has the same exact idea I do. I messaged her on Facebook, and yup, same idea.

This girl and I...we don't exactly run in the same circles. That is all I will say about that. She is nice, though.

The thing is, I've thought this out a lot more than she has (or so it appears to). I've got EXACT events in my head, sponspored activities, etc. etc, partially because my brother plays football for a college team, and I do this a lot.

After some inspecting, it seems like this girl, as nice as she is, does not have a lot of reach. I'm putting that nicely, but what I mean is, the club will consist of her friends only, so far, she only has 6 people interested.

I want the club to be filled with a diverse group of people. And yes, I want to be leader.

Should I, even though I've talked to her, make the club right over hers? I REALLY want to make it. I've been wanting to make it for a really long time, and i got ideas from my bro's coach.

[Like I said earlier, I could be completely wrong. Facebook often doesn't depict people as they are in real life. She could have a lot of reach, and be a better leader than myself.]

Thank you. :)

Ok, so this may sound silly, but wouldn't you have more reach if both of you banded together to run it?
I wouldn't just go and make a club over hers. That's just not right, in my opinion.


ygs-30/f

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My boyfried isn't circumsised and I was just curious if there was any difference. I know obviously there is but I mean as in if I were to give him head or a hand job if I have to do anything different. I know with condoms, he's got to pull back the skin, but what about everything else?

It's the same.

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I'm married (have been for 5 years) and I recently ran into my old high school flame. I was crazy about him but it didn't work out because he moved away. He is married now as well (but not happily). We decided to secretly meet up and catch up on old times. Since then we have been talking a lot and he says he thinks he is falling in love with me and he wants to leave his wife. He asked me if I would leave my husband for him. Truthfully I have thought about it. He says he thinks it is meant to be, and in a way I do too. I'm just not sure what to do. I love my husband but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. I'm just not sure if I would be making a mistake. I just need some advice without being judged.

Let me ask you this: How happy was your married life before old flame came along?
If the answer is happy, or something similar, then it's not worth it to leave a happy marriage for something that is, honestly, uncertain.
Also, do you have children involved? If so, is this rekindling really worth it to totally change their lives as well?
Another thing to think about is this: If he's unhappy and willing to go behind his wife's back to meet someone new, what are the chances you'll be in her shoes one day?

Not judging. Just giving you my outside of the box perspective.

ygs-30/f, married.

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Four weeks ago, I had my ears pierced at Piercing Pagoda with white gold earrings. I'm allergic to nickle. I came back four weeks later for a checkup; they said the holes looked fine and I could wear anything that wasnt heavy as long as they had a straightbacked post. I went to Claires with my mom and we got me some cute pairs from the Sensative Solutions collection, not dangling. And I have some sterling silver from my mom.
But I couldnt get the original piercing earrings out! When I finally did and switched them with another pair, it hurt to put them in. It wasnt terrible, but its still pain! Any idea why this could be? I put the original earrings back in, cleaned them, and decided to wait another few weeks. Also. How long should I wait before I wear those pairs of...huge hoops without the post? Just an example. Lightweight metal or plastic of course. I dont my earlobe ripped straight down the middle. Hah :]
thanks

"Be sure to leave your studs in for at least six weeks (recommendations will vary). If your piercing is having trouble healing - bleeding, crusting (make sure this is clear scabbing fluid and not pus), still painful, etc. - leave your studs in longer and continue to clean the piercings frequently. If your ears are healing well, you can remove the earrings after six weeks. However, continue wearing earrings most days, and stick with studs. Make sure the studs are hypoallergenic if your skin is at all sensitive. Wait a few more weeks, at least, before wearing any dangling earrings or non-hypoallergenic ones (until the piercing is healed even better)."

From link:
http://www.happynews.com/living/bodyart/care-ear-piercing.htm

ygs-30/f

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Nose Piercing..serouisly how much does it hurt? and does the stud stick out when it gets peirced?????

It makes your eye water. That's about it. Doesn't really hurt, but then again, I'm not you and you aren't me.

For the record: DO NOT take pain killers or anything else before going to get a piercing or tattoo. They make you sign a waiver stating when you last drank, took drugs, took meds, etc.
If you have taken pain killers, they WILL NOT do it.
There IS a reason for that, and going against it is a stupid thing to do.

Besides, if you can't handle the little bit of pain it takes to get it pierced, you can't handle the first stages of the healing process.

ygs-30/f

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so, I really like this site and will continue using it, but sometimes I get tired of all the repeated questions of "does he like me?" "Boy problems" "am I pregnant" etc, etc. I am not a teenage girl, but I do understand the teens asking these questions though. Anyway, does anyone know of another site like this that is more adult oriented? thanks

If you happen to be a mom (or soon to be one), cafemom.com could use some mothers who give good advice to other moms/soon to be moms.

ygs-30/f

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I just finished my sophomore year in college, about to start my third year this fall. This summer I got lucky and I have a well paid job.
However, due to my grades in the past semesters, I didn't do well in one of my important classes which I have registered to repeat this summer. I also intend to take another challanging course not related to my major just to ease my schedule for the coming year. The benefit is that I'll get to take two classes: one for grade improvement, one just to get ahead in the game.

However, there is another downside to it. Since it is summer school, I am required to pay for it and I'll be spending all the money I got from working on tuition and books.
Also, I haven't even thought of next summers book cost and about $400 I have to pay towards my tiution that my financial aid didn't cover.

I have the option of continuing on working but I'll fail to fulfill my goals of raising my gpa by taking on the summer classes..

My father also is not happy with me spending money like that. He said he wouldn't even save the money I'm putting on tuition just for summer school. He can't get over the fact that if I have done well I would have saved the money I'm about to spend on tuition and even earned additional bucks by working for the rest of the summer.

I am very dissapointed!!
Help me please.
Any advice appreciated.

Well, considering you're spending the money intended for school ON school, I don't see a problem with that.
It may seem like a sacrifice, but is it really? You're still spending it on furthering your education, correct?

ygs-30/f

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My husband of 3 years keeps subjecting me to social gatherings with his ex-inlaws. The latest was over the 4th of July. He said we were going over to some friends house that live nearby, then instead he drove us over to the ex-inlaws house for a party. I am not comfortable being around his ex-wife or her family since she has made it clear she would like to get back together with him. I have also explained my feelings to him in the past and yet he continues to do this to me. I am very hurt and angry. What should I do?

Well, what works for my husband and I, is that HE doesn't tell me WE are doing anything, and vise versa. WE decide these things together. Sounds like your husband needs to involve you on deciding how you're spending holidays?

As for the ex-in-laws, you need to keep reminding him on how such things make you feel. You're hurt and angry? Tell him that, and exactly why. Don't get all angry and blow up in his face about it. Just calmly explain how you feel about it.

Remind him that those people are nothing to you.
I wouldn't want to spend my holidays with people who are nothing to me...

ygs-30/f

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just finished reading the noteebook
ohh im still crying from it!
my question is...
is true love like that just in books? i mean, im 14 & anyway im not looking for somthing thats going to heal desieses im just curious to know if true love with that much passion happens in real life. any stories/just your personal ideas would be fantastic thanks so much!

I think it does.
If it didn't exist, how could I have found it, myself?
True love comes along when the right person comes along.


ygs-30/f

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I'm 16 years old and I've been dating this guy for a little bit over a month already. I really like him. You can say that I love him, but my mom doesn't want me to be with him at all. She doesn't want me to be close to him. She's threating me saying that she's going to block the internet and the phone. And also that in school she is going to get a restraining order and ask that we don't have any classes together. He's a year younger than me. Which worried me at first, but now I don't even think about it. And my mom got mad and started yelling at me that he's too young for me. She doesn't like him at all. She also hates the fact that we're from Dominican Republic and he's Colombian. He hasn't done anything wrong to her. The only thing that he ever did was want to fight a guy because he called me a b*tch. My mom and I started fighting about it and I mentioned that he never did anything wrong and she brought that up. And I defended him saying that at least, unlike her, he wanted to defend me. And she told me to my face that she would NEVER defend me. She is intending to break us apart, but that is the last thing that I want. I don't want to leave him because I like him too much. And he likes me a lot too. In my opinion, I think she's still hurting because I broke up with my previous boyfriend 4 months ago. And she really likes him. She treats him like her son. And it's causing her pain that I'm not with him. What can I do about this? What can make her understand what I feel about my current boyfriend?

Best thing I can think of for you to do is the mature thing- Sit down and talk to her about it. Don't get all angry when you do. Just explain how you feel, and LISTEN to how she feels. You have to listen to her if you want her to listen to you.
Make sense?

ygs-30/f

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15, f

So, i've been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now. He's great and i've never been in such a good relationship. The only thing is he refuses to show ANY- and i mean ANY signs of public affection. He won't let me show pictures of us, He won't hold my hand if anyone else is around and he doesn't act like we're a couple. I know he likes me a lot and he's not ashamed of me, but i don't know what to do about it. I don't want to pretend like we're not a couple.

Well, maybe he's just the type of guy who likes to keep his personal life private. There's nothing wrong with that.

ygs-30/f

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When a person discovers they have an STD, they're required by law to inform all of their partners so they will get tested too. Well, I ended up getting an STD from a guy and he didn't tell me.. What the hell do I do. He doesn't live in US anymore because the fu*ker moved.. I'm sure that doesn't help my case much though now does it?

Perhaps he is unaware that he has an STD?
Realistically, just because someone gave you an STD doesn't mean that they are aware of it.
It would be a good idea to try to contact him and inform him somehow. If you can't get ahold of him, then I'm not sure what to do then.
I guess I'd say that if you know anyone else he may have passed it to, make sure they are informed that getting a test is a wise choice.

ygs-30/f

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so i asked this question to people on another site and i just wanted to see what other people thought..

I like this this guy who's 16 and he likes me, and everyone says we would be the cutest couple and he's so nice and sweet and i like everything about him, except one major thing.. he's a drug addict i don't think theres any drug he hasn't tried he doesn't do a lot of the drugs he use to because he went to rehab, as of now i know he does, heroine, acid, opium, and pot.. everyone judges him and its not fair they think he's some horrible guy because he does this but .. he really isn't and i know he cares a lot about me and i guess nobody would understand it, i just like everything about him besides the drugs he does and hes just ah i can't explain it i just wish people knew him like i do.. and the sad thing is his parents supply him with most of these drugs.. and i wouldn't have a problem if he wasn't doing heroine because the whole 'aids' thing .. and i don't know if i should sleep with him but i really like him a lot..and ive known him for several years and he's 16 and so am i.. what do other people think? what would you do if you where in my position?

It doesn't make him a bad guy. He's just making bad choices for himself. Yah, pretty sad that his own parents are his supply.

I'm not going to tell you what to do. If you like the guy that much, perhaps trying to get him to see that taking drugs is sort of a slow suicide. Perhaps he will stop. Then again, perhaps he won't. That's on him to want to see the problem and WANT to quit.

I will say that if he is using needles, I'd be leery about having sex with the guy. Why? One in four U.S. teens have STDs. ONE in FOUR. That includes AIDS and anything else one can pass to another by means of needle sharing.

My strongest bit of advice is don't have sex with him unless he has himself tested for diseases and SHOWS you the proof that he's clean.

I'm not saying that to be a jerk, or to rank on him. I'm not saying that he's got AIDS. I'm saying it because it's the best way for you to make sure YOU are protected from something that will effect you for the rest of your life if you get it from him.

If he's using needles, he's a high risk candidate.

ygs-30/f

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ok so im 15/f/usa
i got a hemroid today...very painful let me tell you, especially when i sit down, like as im typing this actually. I ate more than i usually do yesterday, but not that much that I thought would give me a 20-30min. stomachache, where i was in the bathroom the whole time..then i realized i had pushed too hard and got a hemroid. I've been losing weight and haven't been eating as much as i used too. I'm just wondering maybe that my body has tunred a new leaf, like it just can't take tons of junk food anymore, ive changed it. And my mom bought me some hemroid cream, so I hope it goes away...soon. I dont even know if i can ride my horse tomorrow. Does anyone have any suggestions to get rid of it faster or to make it feel better?
Thanks.

Hemorrhoids can happen for many reasons. Pushing too hard, especially when constipated can cause them.

Use the cream your mom got, then try some stool softener (NOT laxatives). Now, this won't make them go away, but will soften your poo so hemorrhoids won't inflame every time you go to help them heal faster.
Metamucil works good, and your body doesn't become dependent on it over time as it can with laxatives.

ygs-30/f

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