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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Hey!
okay are THIN condoms more likely to break then just normal condoms?
The Answer
Thin condoms are not more likely statistically to break then normal condoms. The rates are basically the same.
All condom brands are put through vigorous testing and must meet the requirements of the FDA. Thin condoms have to meet, or exceed, the same standards as all other condoms.
You might notice, when you go condom shopping, that thin condoms are often more expensive then normal condoms.
Most condom breaks result from MISUSE or INPROPER STORAGE.
So learn how to use a condom properly. Study it, memorize it, and take over if your partner isn't doing it right. Don't trust condoms that have been carried around in a wallet or left out in sun. Invest in a reliable brand from a drug store. Don't just use anything lying around at a clinic.
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The Question
Can using a vibrator cause bladder infections? cause i got one and i suspect that it might be the cause?
appreciate it
The Answer
Any short of sexual activity can increase the amount of bacteria near your urinary tract and could contribute to you getting a urinary tract infection or a bladder infection.
That is similar to 'not wearing a jacket in the cold can make you sick' Of course that could contribute and can put you at risk, but sometimes you wear a jacket and catch a cold anyways.
Sometimes you just get a bladder infection. No real reason. Just happens.
Make sure you are sterilizing your toys fully between use and keeping them in a clean, dry and cool place. If you are using some sort of lubrication, make sure it is meant to be used that way, and clean yourself up afterwards. Going to the bathroom after any sort of sexual activity is a good idea. It helps to flush out the urinary tract.
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The Question
Let's say I met this guy. Through mutual friends. But I only ever talked to him online. Let's call him Bob. From the first picture that I saw of him, I noticed that Bob was repulsive (to me, at least. in my opinion) but he was extremely nice. he always gives the best advice...always listens, shows that he genuinely does care. And even though I know I will NEVER want to be with him (through meeting somewhere other than MSN) I still fell in love with his personality. Not his face. And now I'm attached. Whenever he mentions his girlfriend, I get jealous. But then I tell myself "why are you jealous? he's not your bf and he'll never be. so what's the point?" But I just love him for his personality. And it bugs me. Because I know he's not my type. Yet I still react with jealousy and other close and emotional feelings toward him. Is this okay? What should I do? How can I move on? I've been talking to him for one year now. I know that the best advice would be "Just stop talking to him before you get yourself in trouble" BUT ITS SO HARD! It's so hard to let go of someone you've gotten so close with. Advice? :( am I being shallow?!
The Answer
Just stop talking to him is certainly not bad advice, although I think the best advice would be "Stop talking to him so much."
It is a bit shallow, but not unreasonable, to know you don't find someone attractive and would therefore never date them. If you know that to be true, then the problem here is that you two have crossed that line.
Your relationship, even though it's just online, has gone too far. Too far for you anyways, and it's giving you conflicted and unrealistic feelings.
So cut down your talking to him time. Go to a movie, or rent something, with another friend. Even hang out with a parent or sibling. Play a game or bake something instead of sitting on the computer.
It sounds like you are investing as much time in this guy as you would if you were dating him, and that is just not okay. So scale it back. Start treating him like a friend, and only investing the time in him that you would invest in a friend. That should help your feelings die down to friend territory.
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The Question
I'm so sad to say that my boyfriend of six months and I are probably coming to an end. We fight so often now and things are just getting tough with us. But I have a big problem, he's a huge part of my life. He spends almost everyday with me, my mom is the one who takes him shopping when he needs new clothes, we even buy foods that only he likes to keep in our pantry for him. We're so close, I could never imagine having another relationship with a guy like the relationship him and I have.
I don't know how I could ever let go when the time comes. How should I deal with it?
The Answer
There really isn't any advice to give. You simply will manange when you must. We all do.
Think of a married couples who get divorced after ten years. They are a part of eachother's everyday lives, plus shared bank accounts, furnature and maybe even pets and children.
The divorce hurts. It destroys them inside. For a while. Then they pick and start to build thier new inviduals lives. They laugh, go to work, maybe even date and get married agian!
They survive. Even thrive.
We all do. We have all lost someone somehow, be it a relationship, a family member, a pet even. We cry it out, we feel awful, we don't eat, don't laugh, and basically give up on life. Then, slowly but surely, the pain goes away.
It is more difficult when the person you loose is so involved in your life. After my boyfriend of two years and I broke up I kept finding his damn magazines and socks all over my room. It took my months to get rid of everything, but that's alright, it took me months to get over too. Frankly, I don't think I'm all the way there yet either.
Just do what feels right for you.
Eat ice cream, sob, what awful chick flicks, shop or don't shop.
Trust the opinions of others and accept the help they offer.
Give yourself time, but always remind yourself, this too shall pass.
You've learned how love developes. Now you learn how it dies. Soon you get to learn how you let it go.
You'll be just fine.
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The Question
So my boyfriend plans to come over to my house and I guess meet my parents...but see, the thing is, they don't know I have a boyfriend.
I think that they suspect it because I've never brought guys to my house before, because I've never wanted to have to deal with it.
Anyways, I want to tell them he's gay, so they think that I just have a gay friend so he can come over all the time.
And it would be totaly believable that he's gay, cuz he is kinda metro haha.
The Answer
Either tell them the truth, or tell them nothing at all.
Either way, you aren't being truthful with them, but at least if you don't lie outright you won't get in so much trouble when they find out.
They will find out eventually, unless you plan on breaking up with this guy next week.
So be honest. Or, at the very least, don't tell a lie. Maybe telling them the truth might be a good idea at this point. If they have met him, suspect it and aren't flying off the handle and yelling at you, maybe they are just as ready for this phase of your life as you are.
Best of luck.
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The Question
Last night, my boyfriend and I went to his cousin's house. His cousin was there with this girl [she was wearing a skirt]. My boyfriend & I were sitting on a different couch than his cousin & the girl. Well from where we were sitting you could basically see up her skirt if you looked real hard. I look over at my boyfriend and he's like staring right up her skirt. It really pissed me off what do you think the proper way is to deal with this? Of course he denies it but I know he was.
The Answer
Edit in response to feedback:
I am sorry you are choosing to make this small incident matter. If there were other problems, perhaps I would choose to be agressive about this, however I disgree with you: This alone does not matter in the least.
If it were MY boyfriend, I would not be irratated. I would believe him when he says he was not staring, because I choose to date people who I can trust. If he were staring, I'd think it was funny, and feel a bit sorry for the girl. I would not be irratated with him.
Forgiveness for small slights, apperciation of human foibles and limitations and the ability to accept those limitations with good humor are all traits of mature and secure person.
*
If they have eyes, they will look.
Unless you are willing to pluck out his eyes, take a deep breath and accept that it is *possible* that you were mistaken.
If you care about a guy, and think he is a decent person, give him the benifit of the doubt.
The proper way to have delt with this would have been to politely take the girl aside and tell her she should really cross her legs or something, because the guys could see everything.
Leave you poor boy alone. Maybe he did stare a bit, maybe he really didn't. Either way, what harm does it do?
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The Question
okay so this guy got a gf and then tried to mess around with me, but i didn't let him. i mean i was sitting on his lap and holding hands, and that was my fault and i feel terrible but then he just got way too touchy, trying to pull down my pants and stuff and whatever. i wouldn't let him. and i do not like this guy at all. i mean he's cute and i could see us having "fun" together but not a relationship and now whenever i talk to him [through texts] he seems like he doesn't want to talk to me. which i don't understand because the other day he was so turned on by me and now he doesn't even want to talk. I feel like he thinks i like him, and it's freaking him out, but i DON'T at all. either that or he just thinks of me as a fling, and nothing more. Should i just leave him alone for a few weeks? eee help please :]
The Answer
This shouldn't be too complicated hun.
You rejected his advances. His ego is bruised. To make matters worse he knows he shouldn't have been doing that to you in the first place!
I would hope is just ashamed, but he might also be ticked off at you, or worried about what you feel or who you might tell.
The best way to deal with this is to put your cards on the table. Tell him you don't like him, you aren't gonna fool around with a guy who is taken but that you'd like if you two could just move on be cool. Maybe that will snap him out of his silliness.
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The Question
1. If a customer orders, but then demands a refund while the food is almost finished cooking, because they thought it was too expensive, is the money returned?
2. If a customer eats the food they ordered, then say they did not like it, is the money returned?
Thanks. My parents have a restaurant, so I was curious.
The Answer
There is an implied contract at restaurants that is normally respected by the law.
The contract is this: You will order off the menu, receive what you requested (will all the normal sanitary and sane sort things met as well) and then you will pay for that service.
In both cases, it would be up to the restaurant manager to make the call. It's a little odd I think, that is both cases your patrons paid BEFORE receiving food, that isn't typical.
In case one, if I were the manager, I would refuse the refund. If they had already paid, then they knew exactly what they were getting and they knew how much it was. If they had a problem, they should have spoken up sooner then that and not paid the requested amount. Prices are listed on menus. When prices aren't listed, you shouldn't be eating there unless you are damn wealthy.
In case two, it would really depend on the circumstances. I would bet money wouldn't be returned per say. Another dish could be prepared more to thier liking, or they could be offered free drinks, deserts or a restaurant credit.
All of this is strange to me though. I've never been to a restaurant where you pay BEFORE your food is served. Maybe at cafeterias that happens, but not as restaurants... weird.
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The Question
I currently work at Bath and Body Works as a Sales Leader. I am looking to be promoted, but I was wondering what I should expect to make hourly. I work in an A volume store in Florida and have been with the company about 2 years. I currently make 11 an hour, which is a $4.25 raise from what I made as an associate. I am also completing my AA this year. If anyone knows or has worked there before, I'd appreciate it! Thanks!
The Answer
I'm afraid I have no knowledge of that company in particular HOWEVER, if you are looking at becoming a store manger with a retail company, those positions are normally paid an annual salary, not an hourly rate.
Ask your current manager or distract manager. If you are polite and respectful and just ask for general information like salary vs hourly pay, benefits and perhaps ballpark earnings, they will likely be happy to tell you.
Having that conversation will also benefit you. It's important that your superiors are aware of your desire and interest in a promotion. That is one way of showing them your seriousness.
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The Question
i have a few questions so plz read them:
ok so i was at this party last night and i had sex twice without a condom and im PRETTY sure nobody cummed in me but im still worried if im pregnant. ugh
alsooo, would you feel the guy cumming in you (without a condom) if you were having sex cause i've only had a guy cum in me with a condom on
ive heard you get sore and feel tired when youre pregnant but i feel tired and sore but that might be just not from sleeping but im just so paranoid!
i'm just freaking out, sorry if this question is just rediculous i'm just scareddd!
The Answer
You should be worried and freaking out!
You might still be pregnant even if they didn't cum and since you are only pretty sure, you should definitely be worried! If you are over 18, go to a pharmacist and ask for the morning after pill, or visit a planned parenthood or emergency room and ask for the same thing.
You likely wont "feel" a guy ejaculate inside you, although you would likely notice the extra moisture afterwards.
Your question is not ridiculous. The fact that you unprotected sex with two people AND don't know that you really should go to a doctor and get the morning after pill and sign yourself up for an STD test, is ridiculous.
Do NOT have sex unless you know how to deal with it.
Please talk to a doctor about birth control and getting tested. Then develop some damn sense.
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The Question
so my boyfriend always thinks i dont trust him, when i do.. and i even say i trust you and i dont know why he wont believe me.. what are some things i can do to prove to him i really trust him?
The Answer
Trust is something you can prove hun. If you trust him, then you simply do.
Think about it this way: Maybe you shouldn't trust him. Maybe he is messing around and you don't know it. I know you don't believe that, but it is humanly possible.
But it doesn't matter that it's possible. You believe in him. You TRUST him despite the posibilty. Love, trust, and faith are not rational responses. You can't PROVE them.
So stop trying. Hopefully in time he will realize you do trust him. If he doesn't, then it is really him who doesn't trust you.
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The Question
17/f
I've been waking up feeling panicked and terrified for the last few weeks-every night. The thing is.. I don't remember the majority of my nightmares. I will remember a couple of horrifying pieces, but that's it. I will wake up shaking, sweating, heart pounding, and terrified. I'm not stressed or ANYTHING, I'm perfectly healthy other than the nightmares. So, does anyone know what's going on? Am I having night terrors instead of nightmares?
P.S. This is effecting me when I'm awake. I'm frightened all the time, especially when I'm alone. It's also causing me to lose sleep.
The Answer
It's tough to say for certain if these are Nightmares or Night terrors. The main difference between the two is this: Night terrors take place during slow-wave sleep, which isn't quite as deep as REM sleep, where dreams take place.
So Night Terrors take place in an altered state of consciousness and normally a person doesn't wake up from one. Typically, night terrors have no dream-like plots or events. No images, no sounds, no memory of anything happening, there is just the FEELING of terror. Some people might have some vague impressions but nothing like a detailed dream. When a person does wake up due to a Night Terror they often have trouble fully waking up, and drift back to a restless sleep shortly afterwards.
So, if you have any memory of images sounds or thoughts like "I'm falling" or "He's chasing me" and if you are waking up fully directly after these experiences they are probably not night terrors.
There are quite a few other sleep disorders that can cause unpleasant experiences besides Night Terrors. It would be best if you spoke to a doctor or counselor. There are a few medications that are sometimes prescribed if this is really becomming a problem in your life, but more often it’s looking into some lifestyle changes to help cope and reduce the dreams.
So see a doctor, espcailly because these things are starting to effect your waking life, but in the meantime, if you sleep on your back, try to stop. Try sleeping on your side instead. It’s a silly thing, but it’s been proven to vastly reduce nightmares and night terrors in a lot of people. Also try to avoid eating a heavy meal right before bed.
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The Question
I'm 22F, and I've been having sex with my boyfriend of several months for about a fortnight. Unfortunately the sex has been a little rocky because he is very jealous about my past. I believe this is an ego thing - I have been with 3 other guys, he has been with around 20 other girls, yet he is the jealous one - go figure!
Anyway, the way he likes to do things in bed is weirding me out a bit, and I was wondering if any of you can tell me if I'm just inexperienced and this is "normal" or if I'm right to feel this way.
The sex starts pretty normally, kissing and foreplay. He tends to put my hands on his penis - I'm a bit shy - and it goes from there. He likes giving me oral sex, and I, him. Then the actual sex starts, and things seem to go downhill. He is the first person I've been with who doesn't seem to want me to *do* anything during sex (is this usual?). Despite his experience and apparent confidence, he has problems holding on (which I suppose is a compliment?). He can go for about 30 seconds to a minute before he has to pull out, breath for a bit, then go again. I try to be supportive and show that I don't mind, but secretly, I find it frustrating. During the sex, he won't look me in the eyes (he never has problems holding eye contact normally). Usually he comes after about 5 minutes, with no warning. The only reason I know that he's come is because he stops pumping (sorry, this is getting graphic!!) and he never shows any pleasure from orgasm.
We usually go through this about three times a night, each session as short. He usually initiates sex but I never refuse - I want to try and make it work. Sometimes (often the third time) he won't come from sex - instead he pulls out, then puts my hand on his penis, or asks for a blow job to finish him off. This is the bit I REALLY don't understand. I thought sex was supposed to be way more pleasurable for guys than blowjobs or handjobs - why does he suddenly want these instead of sex? I don't mind giving him a blowjob (I want him to be happy), but obviously I get nothing sexual out of it, so that's the end of any pleasure for me.
Also, I have never been able to orgasm from sex (or any stimulation that doesn't involve a vibrator, actually), and I told him this at the start of our sexual relationship. This was a mistake, I think, because he doesn't even try with me, or see that I'm quite sexually frustrated. So he gets to orgasm 3, 4, 5 times a day, and I never get to, and he doesn't seem to care....
SIGH! Any comments would be appreciated!
The Answer
Well I can clear up at least one part of this for you. As a huge generalization, physiologically and emotionally vaginal sex is the most satisfying for a male. However many guys (just like a lot of girls) find oral sex achieves orgasm quickest. Your guy likely knows, after a few rounds, oral sex is a change in the type of sensation and is likely a bit more forceful, and will help him reach orgasm quickest.
So if that comes up again in your life with another partner, don't worry about it. It's not the part of this exchange that should REALLY be setting off alarm bells in your head.
Here's the parts that should worry you:
He is deeply selfish in bed and refuses to even acknowledge, let alone address you sexual needs.
Although you seem to have a taken a moment to express your needs and pleasures to him, you seem to be completely in the dark about his. How did that happen? Has he never told you ANYTHING about what he likes? Not even as you shared what you need?
For some reason his behavior is highly mechanical which leaves you feeling like he is not connecting with you as a person during sex. It sounds like you feel like little more then a prop. That CANNOT continue.
STOP fucking this guy until the two of you have a very serious, very long, conversation, during which he needs to do most of the talking. Make a laundry list of questions for him, and try to get the answers you need AND a marked change in his behavior. Try to make your questions as gentle and as non-confrontational as possible. It's quite likely he will get a bit upset during this conversation, but whatever you do, don't let this pattern continue.
If you express your problems to him, and then starting sleeping with him again and nothing changes, nothing ever will. This will destroy your relationship if left untreated; if he truly resistant to change let him know that too.
It's not the not-so-great-sex that will kill you; it's the frustration, the rejection, the feelings of being used and neglected that will do it.
Do not let this continue one moment longer.
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The Question
why do dogs, especially large dogs, always stick their penises out? i find it very gross.
The Answer
Because they are male mammals?
Human males just have clothing, furniture, sweaters, books, and bags to conceal such spontaneous and unfortunate erections. And they have been taught to conceal this natural and uncontrolable occurance, or else be considered ‘gross’ or perverted by people too ignorant to accept the human body and all it's wonderful foibles.
Avert your eyes, and give the poor dogs a break.
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The Question
I'm a shy person and only have two close friends. I always thought that it didn't matter if other people accepted me because they did. Today my best friend sent me this email:
hey, i have something i need to talk to you about. it actually involves dixie too but she is too afraid to talk to you about it because she doesn't want to make you mad or upset. okay first off dixie and i both agree that you have been acting rude to us. every time we say something that isn't said "perfectly" or is not something you would say you treat us like we are 5. like for example at dixies party at my house i said something about sequences (i proabably spelled it wrong but i really don't give a crap) and you were like amanda you are special..blah blah blah. also you make a big deal out of the fact that dixie hasn't seen bambi.....BIG FRIGGIN DEAL!!! you haven't seen marry poppins...OOHH ASHLEY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MARY POPPINS OH MY GOSH!!! sorry but that's the way you treat us. you have also been acting spoiled and it seems like you are trying to make us jealous....okay personally dixie and i don't give a dookie that you did whatever...good for you..we are happy for you! oh and the college situation. it seems like everytime we are talking about college you always say that dixie can't be an interior designer. SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS IF SHE PUTS HER MIND TO IT. she has an interest in it! SHE CAN DO IT! you are sapost to be her friend and support her instead of put her down!!! why don't you think she can be an interior designer??? cuz she doesn't dress like you do or decorate like you do???????? give me reasons..because if that is your reason then we don't think you could be a teacher because you have no patients. oh and that time you called me just to tell me I was wrong when really i only had a different opinion than yourself. it was about global warming. you said we are all going to die and blah blah. i don't believe in global warming and i don't believe we are all going to die. i don't care what scientists say or what al gore says...they're not God..i only believe what God says. i don't care if you are thinking i am stupid because i am my own person and i have my own opoinion....you heard the old saying "opoinions are like butt-wholes, everybody's got one!" that's all i have to say now but we just wanted to let you know how rude and childish you have acting. we love you to death and don't want to ruin our friendship but we had to say something so you would realize what you are doing is hurtful...and if you are thinking that this letter is hurtful i realize that. i wrote it so you would feel the hurt and humiliation you have caused us. please write back
I just don't get it. I mean I'm the one with self esteem issues. If anything I envy both of them. Just the thought of them being mad at me is killing me. Its like my world is falling apart. Its not just them. My whole family has been treating me worse lately. I'm digressing backwards. I'd went from almost commiting suicide to being a relatively happy teenager. I mean I'm 17 and I want my life to end. I'll never kill myself and I know it. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and unhappy. I just need some advice and help.
By the way, sorry about how long this is.
The Answer
You may have self esteem issues hun, but you wouldn't be the first one who delt with that by becoming self absorbed and hyper-critical of others. You would actually be one of millions who behave exactly that way.
It's too bad that your life has been tough. Many people have a tough time. Everyone goes through times when people aren't supportive or understanding of thier struggles and challenges. But we aren't defined, or excused, by our challenges. We are defined by how we deal with them and how we behave.
It is our behavior, not our situations, that drive people away.
Despite being understandably upset and hurt, I don't actually hear you arguing about the content of the letter. That makes me think you know your behavior towards your friends has not been perfect.
They probably haven't been perfect either! The letter is certainly meant to be quite forceful and mean spirited but if you've messed up and you still want to be friends with these people, the best place to start would probably be with an apology and a promise to try and be more accepting, more loving and more 'friendly' to them.
It's okay to be hurt, but that never makes it okay to hurt others. If you believe that you have hurt your friends, respond with an total, uncompromising apology and try to work it out.
If you decide these friendships arenâ??t worth fixing, and that is just fine, tell them that since that is how they feel and you disagree and are hurt as well, it would probably just be best if you all stayed away from one another.
Whatever you decide, don't drag it out. Deal with your decision as quickly and respectfully as you can. Don't let this turn into a pointless feud.
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The Question
i know theres a gas that is way more dense than helium so it sinks rather than floating and when you breathe it in it makes your vioce lower rather than higher its kind of the opposite of helium. does anyone know what this gas is called?
The Answer
Sulphur Hexafluoride.
It's non-toxic to humans in small quantities, but you can suffocate on it (just like helium) if you aren't careful.
Sometimes it's just called Sulphur Fluoride gas.
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The Question
If you are like 13 or 14, isn't it kind of hard to actually fall in love? It kind of gets me annoyed when my friends say like "i would die without ____" or something like that. Very rarely do people get married to the person they went out with when they were that age. Do you think guys at this age just go out with girls for sex and things like that? Or are there some guys who will wait till your older and feel ready and really love you?
The Answer
I agree with you that it is ludicrously unlikely for someone that age to experience love. Or at least, what they do experience and label love, pales in comparison to what they will call love when they are adults. Simply from a biological stand point, young teens don't have fully developed brains OR personal values.
At the same time, I don't think it's fair to say just because it's not the kind of love between two people who are devoted to each other for life that that means that "All teenage guys only want sex."
They don't only want sex. They want a connection and a relationship. They want to feel good about themselves and their desirability as the person. They might even want to support and take care of another person.
They might want sex too! They might not always realize that it might be a bad idea. They might even mistake sex for love, but they wouldn't be alone is ANY of that. Teenage girls are just as guilty of that confusion and conflicting desires.
Then you become adult, and many of them, girls and guys, keep making those exact same mistakes and keep ‘falling in love’ after one date.
Honestly, it's easy to look down on teenage guys sometimes. Huge aspects of our culture encourage us to look down on men and assume the worse of their intentions. That isn't okay though. They are people too and their desires and their relationships with others can be just as complex and deep as a woman's.
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The Question
how to find my girlfiends myspcepassword
The Answer
Ask her.
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The Question
okay so after you blow job the guy, is he still suppose to be hard? after my boyfriend cummed, he was still hard and i didn't understand why, is this whats suppose to happen? or did he not cum enough or something?
The Answer
It's takes a little while for the blood to drain, so a guy doesn't really go soft immediately. It's more like a leak, not like letting the air out of a balloon.
If you are worried the very best thing to do is ask him how it felt and what is normal for him, but it sounds perfectly normal to me.
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The Question
girls are so complicated cuz when i try to do somethin they always complain and whenever they are sick ill talk to them all night but they say i didnt talk long enough? and whenever they misss me i do whatever i can to get to them but they say i didnt try hard enough even though i got there and i even brought flowers a chocalate? sometimes i dont get girls or should i say some girls?
what should i do?
The Answer
You should say 'some girls'.
Some girls are needy. Some girls like to test your devotion to them. Some girls are demanding and high maintenance.
Some girls aren't.
If you are feeling abused by someone in your life, speak up already. Some girls will just ignore the pain of others until they are forced to acknowledge it. They get what they want easiest that way.
If you don't like being abused, find yourself a girl with more realistic expectations. They exist.
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