|
personality - not looks.
Let's say I met this guy. Through mutual friends. But I only ever talked to him online. Let's call him Bob. From the first picture that I saw of him, I noticed that Bob was repulsive (to me, at least. in my opinion) but he was extremely nice. he always gives the best advice...always listens, shows that he genuinely does care. And even though I know I will NEVER want to be with him (through meeting somewhere other than MSN) I still fell in love with his personality. Not his face. And now I'm attached. Whenever he mentions his girlfriend, I get jealous. But then I tell myself "why are you jealous? he's not your bf and he'll never be. so what's the point?" But I just love him for his personality. And it bugs me. Because I know he's not my type. Yet I still react with jealousy and other close and emotional feelings toward him. Is this okay? What should I do? How can I move on? I've been talking to him for one year now. I know that the best advice would be "Just stop talking to him before you get yourself in trouble" BUT ITS SO HARD! It's so hard to let go of someone you've gotten so close with. Advice? :( am I being shallow?!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I wouldn't say you were being shallow, but you are saying that you're never going to go out with him...just because of his looks. I think you're being a bit unfair. If he really has a great personality then maybe you shouldn't rule out a future relationship just yet.
If you are sure that you'll never want to be with him, then you could just stay friends with him, but I think you like him a bit. (Even if it's just because of his personality) So you can stay friends with him and deny you like him and become even more attached or you can just stop talking to him so you'll be able to get over your crush since you don't want to be with him.
My guess is that if you keep talking to him you'll become even more attracted toward him and it'll be harder to just be his friend. It's your choice as to what to do though, follow your heart.
::Jasmine::
]
Just stop talking to him is certainly not bad advice, although I think the best advice would be "Stop talking to him so much."
It is a bit shallow, but not unreasonable, to know you don't find someone attractive and would therefore never date them. If you know that to be true, then the problem here is that you two have crossed that line.
Your relationship, even though it's just online, has gone too far. Too far for you anyways, and it's giving you conflicted and unrealistic feelings.
So cut down your talking to him time. Go to a movie, or rent something, with another friend. Even hang out with a parent or sibling. Play a game or bake something instead of sitting on the computer.
It sounds like you are investing as much time in this guy as you would if you were dating him, and that is just not okay. So scale it back. Start treating him like a friend, and only investing the time in him that you would invest in a friend. That should help your feelings die down to friend territory.
]
I'm not saying you should cut off all contact with him, but you should at least limit yourself. Don't allow yourself to grow any more attached than you already are, and work to meet someone with the same characteristics in your own life.
]
in a way yes, it's shallow, you feel for him, but you got to remember that you can be falling in love with just anotha professional liar on the net, you need to tell him how feel about and see what he says... BUT
1. do not send him money for any reason at all
2. do not agree to meet him
3. don't give away too much of your personality, because that's how he gets to your heart. If he says he's committed, find a new friend online, but still confess the jealousy part to him, and nothing else ;) good luck
]
More Questions: |