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boyfrienddd
So my boyfriend plans to come over to my house and I guess meet my parents...but see, the thing is, they don't know I have a boyfriend.
I think that they suspect it because I've never brought guys to my house before, because I've never wanted to have to deal with it.
Anyways, I want to tell them he's gay, so they think that I just have a gay friend so he can come over all the time.
And it would be totaly believable that he's gay, cuz he is kinda metro haha.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First off, forgive me, but from your question I can't tell if you are a girl or a guy with a boyfriend meeting your parents.
If you are a guy, I have some great advice for you... If you are a girl, sorry.
I lied to my parents about my boyfriend for 6 years!! I, too, told them that my friend was gay, and when they asked if I was gay I was like "No, GAAAHHDD", kinda like what Napolean Dynamite would say. At the time I imagined that this scenerio would be much better than dealing with my parents reaction to hearing that I am gay, not to mention accepting the fact myself. I threw my boyfriend under the bus but he didn't mind because we were (and still) in love. But my mom felt that there was some "guilt with association" and being that she was a complete homophobe, she thought that just by being friends with a gay person I must like gays, "others" would think I am gay, and I would soon be converted to "the dark side", using my words not hers.
Those 6 years were very tense. My relationship with my parents got much more worse because I felt it was them that kept me from sharing the most beautiful, exciting thing in my young adult life which was my love for my boyfriend. My older sister got divorced twice from complete losers during those six years and she recieved complete support, both emotional and financial, from my parents. This made me even more angry and resentful. My man is not a loser and I am in Love with him and Love is incredible, why should it matter who you fall in love with? Why can't they accept me? Why do they force me to lie? This is bullshit! But, and this is big, my boyfriend helped me to see, that my lies to my parents were just catching up to me. I didn't give my parents a chance to accept me because I didn't want to deal. They didn't force me to lie, I was forced to lie to cover up the lies that I chose to lie about. My parents were completely in the dark, and I was making them out to be the bad guys, even though they were both homophobes.
You see, when I came out of the closet, I took the ethical high road. The road was VERY bumpy because I had lied to them for so long. At first my mom felt vendicated because she predicted that "this guy would convert me", but I had to explain over and over that I was born gay. I finally took responsibility and I felt much better for it. I finally gave them the opportunity to react and made them responsible for their behaviors and their biggotry and their narrow mindedness. You see, in my situation, both my parents and I had to face some very bad parts of our characters. I delayed this face off for 6 years because at the time I thought this was the best thing to do, not to mention that at 18 I wasn't anywhere near emotionally mature as I was at 24. I protected my parents as I protected myself. I didn't count on falling deeply in love, I didn't count on growing resentful and angry.
Now, life is incredible.
I probably wouldn't of been able to come out of the closet when I was 18. I didn't properly accept it myself. Being raised by homophobes gave me a really bitter taste in my mouth in regards to other gays. I was a homophobic homosexual, and I was ashamed to tell my parents this. Having a relationship made it easier to confront my parents albeit 6 years later, but I had to confront my own feelings head on, with my boyfriend aside out of the picture. Just me dealing with my own identity. This is a very hard thing to do when you are 18 years old and everything around you is telling you that who you are is disgusting and even worse when you do fit in with the bad stereotypes.
I don't want to sound too corny or even preachy, but growing older is about becoming a better person. You can live day to day, living in bliss with your boyfriend. This is completely within your rights. But sometime you will have to deal. You'll be alright.
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Dont lie.
Its pointless.
If you dont want them to know, dont tell them. Parents are naturally suspicious.
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Either tell them the truth, or tell them nothing at all.
Either way, you aren't being truthful with them, but at least if you don't lie outright you won't get in so much trouble when they find out.
They will find out eventually, unless you plan on breaking up with this guy next week.
So be honest. Or, at the very least, don't tell a lie. Maybe telling them the truth might be a good idea at this point. If they have met him, suspect it and aren't flying off the handle and yelling at you, maybe they are just as ready for this phase of your life as you are.
Best of luck.
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I think it would be better if you told your parents because sooner or later it will get found out anyway...
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