|
Huge problem...I don't know what to do
I'm a shy person and only have two close friends. I always thought that it didn't matter if other people accepted me because they did. Today my best friend sent me this email:
hey, i have something i need to talk to you about. it actually involves dixie too but she is too afraid to talk to you about it because she doesn't want to make you mad or upset. okay first off dixie and i both agree that you have been acting rude to us. every time we say something that isn't said "perfectly" or is not something you would say you treat us like we are 5. like for example at dixies party at my house i said something about sequences (i proabably spelled it wrong but i really don't give a crap) and you were like amanda you are special..blah blah blah. also you make a big deal out of the fact that dixie hasn't seen bambi.....BIG FRIGGIN DEAL!!! you haven't seen marry poppins...OOHH ASHLEY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MARY POPPINS OH MY GOSH!!! sorry but that's the way you treat us. you have also been acting spoiled and it seems like you are trying to make us jealous....okay personally dixie and i don't give a dookie that you did whatever...good for you..we are happy for you! oh and the college situation. it seems like everytime we are talking about college you always say that dixie can't be an interior designer. SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS IF SHE PUTS HER MIND TO IT. she has an interest in it! SHE CAN DO IT! you are sapost to be her friend and support her instead of put her down!!! why don't you think she can be an interior designer??? cuz she doesn't dress like you do or decorate like you do???????? give me reasons..because if that is your reason then we don't think you could be a teacher because you have no patients. oh and that time you called me just to tell me I was wrong when really i only had a different opinion than yourself. it was about global warming. you said we are all going to die and blah blah. i don't believe in global warming and i don't believe we are all going to die. i don't care what scientists say or what al gore says...they're not God..i only believe what God says. i don't care if you are thinking i am stupid because i am my own person and i have my own opoinion....you heard the old saying "opoinions are like butt-wholes, everybody's got one!" that's all i have to say now but we just wanted to let you know how rude and childish you have acting. we love you to death and don't want to ruin our friendship but we had to say something so you would realize what you are doing is hurtful...and if you are thinking that this letter is hurtful i realize that. i wrote it so you would feel the hurt and humiliation you have caused us. please write back
I just don't get it. I mean I'm the one with self esteem issues. If anything I envy both of them. Just the thought of them being mad at me is killing me. Its like my world is falling apart. Its not just them. My whole family has been treating me worse lately. I'm digressing backwards. I'd went from almost commiting suicide to being a relatively happy teenager. I mean I'm 17 and I want my life to end. I'll never kill myself and I know it. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and unhappy. I just need some advice and help.
By the way, sorry about how long this is.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
I had...omg the exact same situation with my friends, only the scenarios were different.
My Two BFFS, one who is again and one who still doesn't like me wrote me a two-page note right before an Algebra test saying how much they didn't like me and what i 'did wrong'.
Of course, i'm 14, but i still think i can help.
I'll tell you what i did.
After the note, i just ignored them. of course, your friends don't hate you. I have self esteem issues. i envied my friends. I sympathise with you with all my heart.
YOu need to sit down with your friends and have a heart-to-heart talk. When i got my friend back, (which i don't think i'll ever get the other back, but i've learned to let her go) i resolved to be a better friend.
The Key...after all of my rambling :P is to realize what your faults were, and to fix them. IF you truely don't want to lose you friends, start now!!!
I hope this helps you some!!!
If you need any more help, please leave me a note in my inbox :)
<3 Katie
]
You may have self esteem issues hun, but you wouldn't be the first one who delt with that by becoming self absorbed and hyper-critical of others. You would actually be one of millions who behave exactly that way.
It's too bad that your life has been tough. Many people have a tough time. Everyone goes through times when people aren't supportive or understanding of thier struggles and challenges. But we aren't defined, or excused, by our challenges. We are defined by how we deal with them and how we behave.
It is our behavior, not our situations, that drive people away.
Despite being understandably upset and hurt, I don't actually hear you arguing about the content of the letter. That makes me think you know your behavior towards your friends has not been perfect.
They probably haven't been perfect either! The letter is certainly meant to be quite forceful and mean spirited but if you've messed up and you still want to be friends with these people, the best place to start would probably be with an apology and a promise to try and be more accepting, more loving and more 'friendly' to them.
It's okay to be hurt, but that never makes it okay to hurt others. If you believe that you have hurt your friends, respond with an total, uncompromising apology and try to work it out.
If you decide these friendships arenâ??t worth fixing, and that is just fine, tell them that since that is how they feel and you disagree and are hurt as well, it would probably just be best if you all stayed away from one another.
Whatever you decide, don't drag it out. Deal with your decision as quickly and respectfully as you can. Don't let this turn into a pointless feud.
]
first of all, i'm sorry all that is happening. obviously you werent intentionelly doing anything to make them feel bad so just talk to them about it and apologize and everything will be okay. its pretty immature the way it was written. they shouldnt get THAT mad over little things..a new school year is coming up so take this oppurtunity to make new friends itll be alot easier than it seems cause you seem really nice! just get out there and talk to more people and itll be easy. i'm so sorry about your family and everything you're going through but trust me..its gonna get better and better over time..everybody has times that are a complete mess but you deserve good to happen to you adn it will and the rest of your life holds amazing things for you so dont be sad! im sure youre an amazing person and youre obviously cared about and loved so just find things that make you happy & enjoy life i promise everything will get easier with time. try going to church and getting closer with God that always helps too. i hope i helped!
]
Well, the fact that your friends I'm assuming are 17, are extremely childish. I haven't seen a letter like that since Junior High.
Just let them know, that you don't want to lose them, and that you'll try and stop doing whatever it is your doing. It seems like they are very hypocritical because they said you were rude for all of those things, but that letter is rude.
Tell them that if they are just as mean as you supposedly are, they are no better than you and they're sinking to that level.
If they can't accept your flaws, then they're not good friends.
]
Yeah, friends are always supposed to be there for you. But this isnt the end of the world...they said that they are just feeling bad about how they are being treated. Just try to watch what you say. I was in the same boat as you not to long ago...I started acting strange because my family life was NOWHERE near perfect and it effected my attitude untill my best friends started talking about me and said they wanted nothing to do with me..which isnt fair since they were leaving me in my time of need but thats beside the point.
I realize that you are feeling lonely and it wasnt really nice of your friend to say that stuff to you! she could of certaintly said it in a nicer way. but just say your sorry if you are and try to work on how you treat them.
I hope i helped and i hope everything does work out :/
]
I know exactly how you feel. A while back, two of my best friends got together and called me out on some things- which I at first thought weren't true. I know you probably don't want to, but you'll have to admit to your friends that you were wrong. Maybe Dixie and Amanda are overreacting, but for them to say anything in the first place, you must've hurt their feelings somehow. Just let your best friends know you care about them and would never intentionally do anything to make them feel stupid or hurt them. Also, give yourself some time alone to think about things, why you're unhappy and everything. Basically, just talk to your friends. If they're real friends, they'll forgive you and everything will work out. Remember, no matter how bad things may seem, they will always get better. Just have faith.
Hope I helped :]
]
More Questions: |