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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
i rate this website ok
The Answer
On the off chance you are being serious...
I purchased both of my horses from an animal rescue association. It's a great place to get an inexpensive horse if you are skilled enough to help them overcome thier abuse and aren't looking for a show horse. I only wanted a friend and hobby horse, so it worked for me.
Other then that, word of mouth is best way to find a horse. Ask your trainer, friends, anyone you know in the horse world for advice and leads.
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The Question
Well here the thing. I'm a sixteen year old guy and I have a problem. The thing is that... I like older women. Not just like a little older. MUCH older. Like women fifty and up. I know its weird and gross probably, but I can't stop thinking about it. It's not like I want a relationship with an older women I'm just extremely attracted to them and I can't stop thinking about them. I just want to have sex with older women, and even if I did try to get with an older women they might think I'm weird and I wouldn't know what to say to them in order to try and attract them to me. I just need help on what I should do about this and how I should go about it. Please help me A.S.A.P.
The Answer
As fetishes go dear yours is pretty damn normal. No need to get all Freudian about it. It is just part of who you are.
The only thing you need to figure out is whether, like many people with a sexual interest, you keep it in the realm of fantasy, or if it's something you really want to explore in reality.
Millions of people in this world have happy, healthy, fulfilling sex lives that include a large does of fantasy. Fantasies are things they know they shouldn’t, couldn’t or don’t really want to do (although they may pretend or role play doing it).
"Rape fantasies" are a great example. Lots of women have them, but next to none of them actually want to be raped! There is just something in the thought that appeals to them, and they might choose to play with the idea with a trusted partner...
That choice of what to do with you interest is entirely in your own hands. Just remember, like hundreds of adults, you might need to make compromises on your desires in order to find long-lasting happiness. I’d urge you to think pretty seriously about what it is you want out of your sexual and romantic relationships before you start chasing down the blue-haired set.
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The Question
My boyfriend thinks I'm anorexic because I would barely eat anything a day. It's like i don't eat cuz I'm not hungry. It's like I'm hungry then I see how I look at I just loose my appetite. Is he right?
The Answer
If you loose your appetite BECAUSE of how you look, then your boyfriend is somewhat right, you have an eating disorder. People's appetites should not be affected by what they see in the mirror.
It's okay to just not feel hungry. As a teenage girl you probably do eat less then a teenage guy, but it's not okay to not be hungry because you are pre-occupied with your weight or appearance.
Next time you decide you aren't hungry, pay attention to a few things: Are you thinking about your weight or appearance? Are you feeling faint or tired and would benefit from some food? Do you honestly think that eating something would make you feel better, more awake or make your day run smoother?
Don't let yourself make excuses like "There is nothing I want here" or "I don't have enough time to eat." Seriously consider what it is that is preventing you from eating.
If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you are having unhealthy thoughts about eating.
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The Question
What would you do if someone had alcohol poisoning. I know to like lay them on there side or something. but not really.
The Answer
If someone has alcohol poisoning, you call an ambulance!
If you think, for a moment, that a friend or total stranger has overdosed on alcohol, call 911 for help.
These are the symptoms of Alcohol Poisioing:
The 'sleeping' or unconcious person cannot be woken
Cold, clammy, pale or bluish skin
Slow breathing, less than 8 times per minute, or irregular breathing, with 10 seconds or more between breaths .
Vomiting while 'sleeping' or passed out, and not waking up after vomiting.
If even ONE of those symptoms is present, call 911!
Don't try to guess the level of drunkenness.
Don't sit around and wait for a passed out person to die.
It is true you should roll a passed out drunk on to their side. There is a special way to do this called the Bacchus Maneuver. You can read about it here: http://www.virginia.edu/case/ATOD/bacchus-maneuver.html
Don't leave a passed out person alone. Stay with them and monitor their breathing until help arrives.
Don't ever be afraid to call an ambulance for a friend who has had too much to drink, even if they are underaged. Don't worry that your friend may become angry or embarrassed, better that then dead. Hundreds of teens each year have to live with the knowledge that if they had only called for help a friend might still be alive. Don't be one of them.
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The Question
He broke up with me 3 times, first he broke up with me because he HEARD a rumor that i wanted to break up with him but she couldnt so he broke up with her, so when he found out it wasnt true that i wanted to brake up with him so wegot back together and 2nd time was he broke up with me again because he doesnt have feelings for me because he liked someone else when we were going out but he didnt wanna tell me because he was scared that im gonna hate him, but after that we still talk to each other a lot and he asked me if i had feelings for him and i said yes and he did too and he asked me out after that but then he said he wants to keep the relationship a secret because he didnt want people to know and its annoying when people asks about it so we went out AGAIN for 4 DAYS and he broke up with me again because he was confused and didnt know what to do and i told him not to talk to me for a while but he still does and after that he asked me to move on and stuff he gave me advice about moving on but then he asked me to call me and i told him no because im gonna fall in love with him again and he says"who knows maybe we could start over again" and im confused because hes the one told me to move on but now hes saying this, this is his 4th chance and my friend told me not to because she doesnt want me to get hurt and stuff but i really dont know what to do what do you guys think?
The Answer
Make him stop talking to you by blocking him, ignoring him and not picking up his calls.
He might just be amazingly confused, or he might be a complete asshole who is sitting there smiling about how hooked he has you. Either way, you shouldn't be sitting around eagerly waiting for him to hurt you yet again.
Don't take his advice on how to 'move on'. The only way you are going to move on is to stop talking to him! He is not your friend. He doesn't even sound like a very nice person. Talking to him only makes you confused, worried and hurt. So cut him out of your life already.
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The Question
WEll ok my best friend is a girl and we have been through alot together and i really love her and dont want anything to happen to her and ill make sure that nothing does however, theres a problem she likes to get around and have fun with guys and it hurts/ pisses me off...by the way i dont like her more than a friends...she gives them head,let them finger her, and fucks them and im afraid one time somethings going to go wrong and she going to get pregnant...i want to convice her she dont need it but she just laughs at me and goes and does it anyway such as right now shes fucking a friend of mine in my basement...i dont no what to do...i want to tell her how i feel and also get her to stop!! Anythign in helpful! Thanks
The Answer
Although it’s true you can’t tell your friends how to live their lives, you can certainly put your foot down and tell them what appropriate behavior is when they are a guest in your house.
Mature friends respect each other’s space and boundaries, so don’t hesitate to tell her you are not comfortable with her indiscriminate sexual activities in your home, and that if that is the way she wishes to act, she is free to do so elsewhere.
That is no different then telling someone not to smoke inside your home. Feel free to make it clear that ditching you to fuck someone in your own home is not okay.
Other then that, there is little you can do but keep repeating your message and/or tolerating her choices. She might end up ill, or pregnant, and that will change and possibly even end your friendship with her, but there is nothing you can do about that. If that is just the risk she is willing to take all you can decide is whether you are willing to take the risk of being her friend or not.
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The Question
I NEED HELP SOOO BADLY!! my love life is going down the drains. I'm 14/f and starting high school in 1 week. In middle school, my love life was great cause I had a crush on this guy for 2 years and he knew and we flirted a little but we were both shy and never asked each other out. (i'm not the slutty type of gal who trys to get a boyfriend at the age of 14) and I was fine with not having a boyfriend.
Then when this summer start, my best friend introduced me to one of her guy friends (well call him first guy) (they were on and off dating and finally broke up for good about 2 weeks ago)... One time when I hung out with him he brought along his best friend, and to my surprise it was the guy that i've had a crush on for 2 years. and I like them both!!!!
the first guy= he's sending me mixed signals. we both have texting so we text each other a lot. he keeps wanting to hang out with me (movies) and if i say i'm busy, then he'll keep asking me what day i can go to the movies with. I get all happy cause I think he's flirting with me and that he likes me, then BAM he sends a text saying he asked out this girl yesterday and she said yes. so my self-esteem went down faster than a roller coaster. :(
crush for 2 years- he recently broke up with his girlfriend, my guy friend texted me and told me that my crush says he likes me too, but doesn't want a girlfriend right at this moment... But to tell you the truth, i'm not even sure if I still like this guy. whenever his name comes up in my head, i smile and imagine myself next to him all safe and everything... but then i think to myself, what do i exactly like about him, and my mine just goes blank. i dont know what's wrong with me!! i half like him/half don't
help! I need advice on what to do about my situation. should i just forget about them both and look for another guy? should i go for my guy friend, or my crush for 2 years? please help me
-sincerely, mixed signals
The Answer
Take a deep breath hun. You aren't really that into either of them right? So don't stress over it. Don't 'go' for either of them.
You don't need to have a boyfriend now anymore then you needed to have one last year. So don't stress out over what you are going to do. They ball is in thier court now. You are fine to be friends with them, and sit back and see what they do.
All you need to figure out, when and if you do get asked out, is whether or not you want to say yes.
It certainly doesn't sound like you have strong enough feelings for either of them to ask one of them out yourself. So just chill out. Take it as it comes. You are doing just fine.
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The Question
ive had anxiety for years now and i went of my lexapro then last year it came back with depression. i got put back on lexapro and i was better, now its back i can tell. im not listening to music like normal, i dont want to go to school like i used to, and im worrying over like seriously nothing, like i had my 1st health class of the year today and then i started flipping out, not feeling good because ive had a bad experience in that class last year with my depression but anyway i normally watch discovery health channel but now i cant because im afraid that im gonna hear symptyoms of some disease and im gonna find out i have it! im already on a pill and a half of lexapro. some people can calm themselves down by like breathing or something but i figured out i cant mine is worse, what can i do!?!? i hate feeling like this
The Answer
You mention medication, which is good. I'm a firm believer that medication can be a phenomenal help for anxiety sufferers, but what about therapy?
Most of those people who can calm themselves down with breathing or stretching exercises learned how to do that in therapy. It's not something you just instinctively know how to do, it takes a while to figure out and they had to be taught by a professional. Breathing exercises are not magic that only some people can practice, they are basic biology. It might be hard to learn, but anyone can learn to do it and it can improve things. There are other things a professional can teach you as well to help you combat those obsessive bad thoughts and to deal with panic attacks.
You don't need to find a physiatrist (or pay for one) a less expensive therapist or certified councilor should be able to give you the tools you need.
Do not let yourself say “It wont help!” or “I can’t do it!” or “I’m too afraid!” or “This is silly”. That is the anxiety talking. Remember that anxiety and depression are illness whose only goal is to keep you anxious and depressed. To get better, you will probably need to do some things that scare you and you will have to work hard.
If you are going to fight your anxiety don’t do it half-assed and don’t give up before you even start. If the first therapist you find, or found, didn’t work for you, go find another!
You can’t get better all by yourself anymore then a cancer patient can.
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The Question
Last year around the same time as now, I asked my dad for a macbook. A simple, white, around $1000 macbook. My dad said, "Wait until Christmas." I didn't get it for Christmas. I asked again and he said, "Wait until March or April." At the end of April, no Macbook. I asked and begged for it on my birthday. My dad said, "I promise, for your birthday, I will get you a macbook." I had so much hope and excitement in me. It was a perfect day. My last day of school was on my birthday, and it was perfect to think about coming home to a brand new macbook. Well the macbook didn't show up. No happy birthdays, just from my friends, and I was in my room crying the whole day. My dad came in and said, "I'm sorry, I promise you that you will get a mac before the school year starts." He apparently was getting a macbook pro, top of the line, for a low price from his friend who sold them on ebay. But it never came in. My dad got put on house arrest for extortion for 2-3 months. So I thought, he'd be home, why not try and convince him to get me a macbook off ebay. He kept saying no, PC's are better, mac's aren't worth it, which I had many more reasons against HIS argument. But no mac so far. He bought me a new battery that I needed for my current Toshiba laptop, which also sucks. He got me a webcam so I could at least have one feature of a mac, but turns out the webcam didn't work with AIM or AOL, and took horrible pictures. I told my dad I was done with Toshiba and Dell, and just in general done with PC's. He got mad at me and told me to stop it, and that my attitude was stupid and I wasn't getting a mac until much later in life. This is making me furious. I made posters about getting one. I talked to him about it every chance I got. Everyone in my family told me I deserved it. But nothing. And I need some VERY good reasons why Macs are great and possibly better than PC's. Because I want this computer so bad.
The Answer
I'm sorry babe, nobody 'deserves' a macbook the way they deserve clean drinking water and I really don't think matter what you say to him about macs being better then PCs.
Why are you flogging a dead horse? You dad has had amble opportunity, and had promised you one, but still no macbook. I think it is logically time to come to the conclusion that he will not be getting you a macbook.
Give him all the reasons you want, yell, scream, cry, argue, bitch and moan. Still, there will likely be no macbook.
Maybe he doesn't have the money. Maybe he just doesn't want to. Maybe he is a jerk. Sadly, parents are allowed to be jerks and there is nothing their kids can do about it.
So please, stop trying. Save your pennies. Maybe ask these relatives of yourself to give cash gifts, so that you can save up for your macbook.
When parents fail you, you have rely on yourself and become proactive. Sitting around and demanding the same thing over and over again certainly isn't getting you anywhere now is it? No. So come up with a different plan.
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The Question
I like one of my sister's friends a lot.
He's actually more of my friend than he is hers.
(Though it didn't start out that way.)
The only problem is, he is 3 years older than me,
(But he is under 18, so DON'T say it's not legal.)
Problem number two: he has a serious girlfriend.
I know we have some kind of connection.
I saw him today and we ended up hanging out for a while.
He seemed really nervous the whole time though,
but he even said he was glad he got to see me.
(Nothing physical happened.)
I see him with his girlfriend sometimes, and
he always looks really unhappy. She always looks
like she's dragging him around, and he always has
a kind of pained look on his face.
But he is so committed to her and it seems like,
he'll never break up with her!
Should I try to get closer to him,
maybe find out a little more about him and his girlfriend?
Or should I just leave the situation alone?
I'm not sure how my sister would react if I went out with him,
and I'm not even sure if he likes me!
Is just friends for the best?
The Answer
No, you should not try to get closer to him and learn more about him and his girlfriend. That is pety and munipulative.
If he is unhappy in hsi relationship, the relationship will eventually end. If you are serious about exploring your feelings for him you'd be better to wait and not have anything to do with the breakup.
Just friends is the best, and the only respectful way to be, for now. So don't torture yourself with 'does he like me's and 'what will sis think'. There is no point in worrying about those yet. Worry about it when, and if, he becomes single.
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The Question
i had been dating this boy over the summer and i really really fucking liked him. and one night i got really fucking drunk and had sex with one of his best friends in the bathroom at walmart. slutty, i know. but i was trashed. i didn't know what the fuck i was doing. so he found out and dumped me, ofcourse. and seriously, i've never regretted something so much.
so he dumped me about a month ago. and i'd almost kind of gotten over the fact that nothing was ever going to happen between us again. and then he invites me over to his house saturday night out of no where and tells me he's giving me a second chance. and then last night when i talked to him, the whole time he just made me feel like shit. he said he'd only ever date me again if things went MORE than perfectly when i see him saturday. he said he doesn't think i'll do anything right. and as for me, i really like him, and i want to atleast try to get this going again because i know that we could have something amazing. but the thing is, i'm realllyyyy fucking grounded right now, and the only way i'd be able to go see him is if i snuck out after my parents went to sleep. but they know i do this so they constantly check on me, i think. but i REALLY need to go see him. so, do you think it's worth getting caught for?
The Answer
No.
Look, you screwed up. Absolutely and horribly. However, you screwing up does not mean this guy gets to demand perfection and certainly doesn't mean he gets to expect you to sneak out and get in trouble for him.
Why would you take such a risk for someone who made you feel like shit? For someone who either doesn't know, or doesn't care, what's going on in your life right now?
The relationship is too toxic when one person gets to make demands of another like that. If he has decided to take you back, then he should take you back with as clean a slate as possible. Not try and make you prove yourself. Making someone 'prove' themselves is always the kiss of death in a relationship. Just let this one go.
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The Question
25f since i was a junior in high school I've known of this guy, extremely popular, so I was shy around him, we had like a couple conversations while in high school but not much. Then college came and went, I never thought I'd ever get a chance to really know him. But he came back, and is now working as a bouncer at a sportsbar that I go to a lot. We talk now, he teases me, I catch him staring all the time at me, and he doesn't look away when i catch him, we've had one sexual encounter, not sex, but it was 2 years ago, he's always doing things like snatching my cigarette out of my hand so he can get a hit of it, always lurking around whenever I'm sitting with a guy. He's been in my head for 9 years and I know that he's probably not the type to settle down any time soon, and I want to move on, but I can't seem to, because in my mind he's perfect, he's like a God, I feel like I need to have another sexual encounter with him in order for me to see him as just a regular human being, because I need to move on with my life and find someone that does need to settle down, so should I try to seduce him in order to get over him?
The Answer
I wouldn't seduce him in over to get over him if I were you.
A person, especially a person we have had sex with, are almost always waaaaaaaaaaaay more complicated then we give them credit for.
So what if you *know* he's not the type to settle down any time soon. Does he know it? Does he see you as some one he could settle with? Does he want something more from you despite your belief that there isn't a possibility of serious attachments forming? Will he get obsessed with you? Clingy? Stalking? Will he expose you to an STD? Will he fall for you? Or think he has? Will you fall for him? Will he ever call? Will you get pregnant? Will he ignore you and pretend it never happened? Will you decide he actually is perfect and ignore it when he is perfectly unfaithful? Or maybe he is the very faithful type. Maybe he’ll be true to you endlessly and you’ll find you don’t really love him and feel trapped in a one-sided relationship!
There are MILLIONs of questions and maybes and you wouldn’t actually be able to answer or figure out most of them.
You never really know another person. Even if you spend everyday of your life with them.
If you are interested in finding out the answer with those what ifs and maybes, then go ahead and try to take this flirtation farther. If you want to know what facts there are behind the fantasy, go for it. If you are curious, explore.
BUT if you already know what answers you want, if you already believe it won’t work, if you don’t want it too work and you just want him out of your head, don’t try and seduce him. It won’t get you what you want. It will only complicate things and get you asking yourself a whole bunch of questions you thought you already had answered.
Although getting to know a person’s faults *seems* like a good idea. It really isn’t. Think of the people you care about the most? They certainly have a ton of faults don’t they?
Faults have to be pretty serious before they help us end a crush
So if you just want over him, don’t fuck him. Just don’t go that bar anymore.
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The Question
me and my friend talk on msn everyday since we barely ever get to see eachother. and well, I used to always start the conversations when he would log on (i'm a girl). but now, i've grown more shy of him...and I never say hi first. I wait for him to do so. For a month I did this, and usually he would go "What? I don't deserve a hi? you don't like me anymore?" and even though he said that, I still kept on "ignoring" him. It got to the point where, like today...he won't say anything at all when I log in and neither do i. and he just leaves. Is it because he's waiting on me to say hi first or because he doesn't care anymore?
=/ Thanks..
The Answer
No one can read his mind hun, but if you like him, and you want to talk to him, you better say hi first.
You must realize this is a silly thing to loose a friendship over.
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The Question
Does anyone know how to get rid of a cold sore asap? thanks
The Answer
A cold sore or a canker sore?
People are constantly getting them confused.
A canker sore is a ulcer in your mouth. It's an open sore with a flatish white top. They happen on the soft tissue inside the mouth, the inside of the lips, tougue and check. Canker sores are NOT contagious! Period. They aren't.
The best way to get ride of a canker sore is to rise the area with a solution of hydrogen peroxide and water. It's depends on the strength of the solution, but normally it's 3 parts water to 1 part hydrogen peroxide. That works wonders.
Cold sores, on the other hand, are small red blisters that generally affect gums and lips and around the mouth on the face. Cold sores are extremely contagious and are most often caused by the Herpes virus. If this is what you have, you should have seen a doctor by now. They should prescribe medication for you.
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The Question
Hi Razhie! I came across your advice column and really liked your answers. Could you help me out with an unusual dilemma I have? Thanks in advance!
I am a sophomore in college majoring in cultural anthropology and South Asian studies. I want to have a career dealing with South Asian culture so I joined my school's Indian Student Alliance. Because I'm the only European there, the ISA members are less than welcoming. I attend weekly meetings and try to participate but people avoid talking to me and even laugh about me during meetings. I see them between classes too and they whisper about me when I walk past. It really hurts my feelings. Because they know my face I can't fade into the background and hope they forget about me. I don't want to quit the ISA but I'm becoming the laughing stock of the organization. The ISA is entirely student-run so there's no adult there to stop the abuse. What should I do? Please help!
The Answer
It's really disgusting to me that among people who should at very least be trying to behave as adults you are seeing this kind of conduct. I wish it was more surprising.
In their defense, this is likely the first time many of these young people have had a cultural organization of this magnitude available to them so it is understandable they look at it more like a club house then a student organization.
My best advice to you would be to try and find yourself a mentor or alley from the group. The trick is a classic one: You really only need one person to accept you and then the others will likely come around. Is there anyone who has made any effort to reach out to you, or at least be pleasant? You might ask them for their advice. They could give you pointers or tell you if they think it’s a lost cause.
Even if no one stands out as a possible alley, consider talking to the student leader of the organization. They might recognize it’s their responsibility to intercede a bit. They might also not realize that and tell you to leave. Even if they said that you wouldn’t be any worse off would you? If it is that sort of people you are dealing with then they only will have said to your face what they were already saying behind your back.
Failing that, is there some sort of way for you to speak to the group at once? A newsletter or forum online? A letter that briefly says you feel unwelcome among them and wish they could view you as a friend who is passionately interested in their culture rather then an outsider who is looking at them like animals in a zoo (I don’t think you are doing that, merely guessing at how they might feel) might at least have some people re-consider their treatment of you. If it illicits the opposite response and you get a whole bunch of comments about this group being ‘just for our kind of people’ then you will know that this particular group is too toxic for you to become a productive member.
Try not to take it so personally. It really does say a great deal more about them then it does about you. If none of my options appeal or you get a very clear ‘Go Away’ message after trying, then it is probably time to ‘let the baby have it’s bottle’ if you will, and leave this group to their ethnic club house.
I hope that lived up to your expectations of me!
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The Question
Okay i know I asked about him before about his parents fighting and blah blah, and how were just friends... Well one of my Dad's Friends Son kinda like made a move on me.. Like I dont know it happened quickly and err Im pissed.
Well the Friends Son's Name is Tyler, and he I dont know.. I didn't think it was that big of a deal but he started like rubing my leg while us 3 were watching movies and Eric kicked his ass! After giving him a fat lip and bloody nose completely exploded on me! And being confused and angry I kinda yelled at him..? I told him don't blame me from his parents being horrible to him, and that if his Mother really wanted him he would of never been aloud over here.. Horrible I know! Ahh hating myself at the moment and he left. Left as in went home hopefully this all happened tonight. I dont want him home and i dont want him to stay there just because some jerk hit on me. I thought we were just friends.. Not like he liked me or something.. He never said anything about *us*.. How was I saposed to know! I dont I think I like him, I mean he's seen me in my worst possible times, and ive seen him at his, and hes the most awsomest guy in the world and I cant picure getting up without him practicly under my bed sleeping.. I dont think I can live without him.. but his phones shut off and he refuses to talk to me online.. What do i do?? School starts tomarrow and I wanna talk to him. Im like kinda planning running up and kissing him? Lol not tomarrow though, because I want some advice on this. I want to show him how I feel about him but how do i do that?
The Answer
Have you actually spoken to him about this 'liking you' business Hun? Because it might simply be that he was being brotherly and protective (in a completely not okay way, but still). So before you start imagining what your children will look like, make sure to talk to him about his feelings for you.
HOWEVER, first things first, you owe him an apology for what you said. Don't complicate your apology with a talk about crushes and certainly don't kiss him! He is probably feeling very hurt right now and he wouldn’t take that the right way. Just tell him that you feel awful for what you said and you are sorry for it but that punching the guy was totally not acceptable.
After the apologies and explanations are done with and you two are back to being okay, then you can ask about his feelings for you, but not before. Correct your mistake and get the friendship back before you even consider anything more.
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The Question
f/16. I got myself into a bit of trouble..
Theres this guy at school who is completely head over heels in love with me, I don't feel the same way about him. He asked me out a few weeks back and I told him to wait until i know what I want, He put a lot of pressure on me and he made me feel really sorry for him and he tells me beautiful things but I just don't feel anything for him apart from lust. Anyway, 2 days ago he asked me to please be his girlfriend and I don't know what the hell I was thinking but I said yes. He's so unbelieveably happy and he said I'm the best and most beautiful thing that has ever happened to him. When people at school found out today I got a really hard time and I got teased by a few people (I knew I was in for that) and I really don't know what to do. One of my friends said I have to dump him. And that I can';t let it go on any further if I don't love him. I have told him that I loved him back but I just wish I didn't ... What am I going to do?! I feel horrible, I just don't know if I should dump him... he feels so much for me. And if I do I think he would cut himself or worse. Possibly suicide. I don't know how I have gotten myself into this situation. I wish more than anything I didn't say yes. And if I should dump him how do I do it? Please someone help me.
The Answer
Yes, you should dump him.
You should dump him just the way you'd dump anyone else. Tell him you are sorry but you just don't want to be with him.
Then tell a school counselor or teacher what has happened.
I say tell an adult, because if you are afraid he is going to do something as phenomenally stupid as hurt himself, you MUST tell an adult.
It's not your responsibility to stay with him, but it is your responsibility to tell an adult if his behavior gets out of control. Frankly, his behavior is already out of control, obsessive and sounds a tad controlling. He needs help.
Dump him and tell an adult that he needs help. That is the all you owe him and the best you can do for him.
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The Question
alright, i smoked weed a month ago back. i hit a gravity bong, and it was my second time ever getting high.
long story short, i think i murdered my memory. and unless if i "lock something in" i can't remember it, so like im not able to remember where i put my cell phone or wallet.
also, if im not preoccupied, my mind wanders, and i can feel like im having an out of body experience.
i have quit intaking all substances that are harmful, quit eating chips and junk food.
any sure shot way to get my memory back, or to at least trick myself into at least thinking im fine?
The Answer
Please ignore the other answers you've received. They are going from what they have heard, not what doctors know.
Doctors, specifically neurologists, will tell you that smoking weed reduces your ability to learn, problem solve and remember things in the short-term. That means it's not an accumulated thing. Smoking pot once leaves your mind (specifically your memory) in an altered, and not quite as effective state, for at least a day, and often a few weeks.
Obviously it can get much worse for chronic smokers and last much longer, but even just using pot once, does negatively affect your memory.
However, you might just be making this a bigger problem then it needs to be. The longest time research suggests that marijuana effects your memory is about three weeks. Pot doesn't kill brain cells, so your memory isn’t ‘murdered’. You are probably just over sensitive about it now.
Take a deep breath and tell yourself that whatever effect the pot had on your memory is either gone, or very shortly will be gone.
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The Question
My boyfriend of 6 months shared a bed with a girl he went on a trip with in Europe. He said they didn't do anything, but they always talk about how the slept together. Do you consider this a type of cheating? Do I have a right to be angry?
The Answer
Darling, either you trust him, or you don't.
If you trust him and know nothing happened, then you have no reason to be angry.
If you believe they just feel asleep in the same bed then no, that isn't cheating, that was just a bit careless of him. He should have realized that it could cause some trouble and be misinterpreted. You should tell him he mucked up but forgive him for that mistake. People make mistakes all the time.
If you don't trust him and think something did happen, dump him obviously.
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The Question
i made a xanga and i made the mistake of putting my aim screen name on it. so this guy he i/ms me and i got the vibe that he was hitting on me, but i realize that now, not when it was happening, and he was pretty much saying suggestive stuff, and i was kinda going with it, i guess. idk why i was? but i was and we've been talking for days but i just feel weird, like really weird talking to this guy, he says hes in a band, and i did some looking and i found their myspace, so i know hes not some creepy old guy or something, idk its just so weird, so my question is, basically, what should i do?
The Answer
Hun, you don't know he's not some creepy old guy OR some twelve year old fooling around OR an alien from Saturn.
A Myspace proves nothing except that the person he claims to be exists.
The nice thing about vaguely creepy people online is that you can simply block them, delete them and not worry about it anymore.
Trust your gut. It doesn't matter if this guy is exactly who he says he is. If you aren't comfortble, remove him from your life.
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