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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
I have this teacher who I had last year, and now I have her again. And for some reason she's never liked me. I have no idea why, because teachers usually LOVE me... I'm a really good student, respectful, don't goof around, etc. But this teacher is always so mean to me and she keeps making nasty remarks. Like today was "hat day"... so I come into class wearing a hat, like everyone else, and the teacher says (in a mean voice), "ooooh, you think you look so cute, don't you?" And the other day I got a note during her class to leave early for a student council meeting, and she says to the class, "Well, EMILY has to leave now because SHE'S special!" It really hurts my feelings and embarrasses me and I don't know what to do. If I say something it will just make her hate me more, right? Is there anything I can do, or should I just try to ignore it?
The Answer
I say ignore her.
Nothing you have described is vicious or cruel. I would bet, more likely then her not liking you, you two just don't communicate well. You don’t ‘get’ each other’s style. Don’t let it stress you out.
The words she said are harmless, and it's very easy to think that someone dislikes us and then read everything they say through that belief, always convincing and proving to ourselves that they must hate us.
A good general rule for dealing with people who are your superiors, like your boss, parent, or teacher: Talk to them if you have a complaint about WHAT they said. Give them the benefit of the doubt if you simply don’t like the tone they said it in.
If this is really bugging you, you might try asking another teacher or guidance counselor for their advice on speaking to this teacher. They likely know her better then you do, and can tell you what they think is going on.
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The Question
I'm kind of confused cause people keep telling me different things i was wondering
When it comes to kissing in a relationship as in your first kiss in the relationship who's ment to make the move first ?
The Answer
Whoever does.
Whoever has the courage to move the relationship ahead: guy, or girl, or non-gender-identifying individual. It doesn't matter. People who say it matters are boxing themselves into stereotypes for no good reason. They are narrowing the possibilities in their life because of … nothing.
Don’t tie yourself down. It is your relationship. Do what ya wanna.
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The Question
if im going for a science major in a sciencey college is it bad to get a letter of rec from a world language teacher? i have one from a sci teacher. the math would be kind of hard.. im scared to ask but my WL teach said yes to my request.
The Answer
It will be fine.
Language skills are important and valuable.
Colleges know thier students need to be able to communicate.
Unless the college has specified who they would prefer the letters come from, send it in.
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The Question
okay, so me and my boyfriend are kind of on the rocks right now. were in a long distance relationship and it was going fine until recently. im 16 and hes 18. then me and my ex are like best friends and hes going to be in town next month for the cowboys vs. packers game and he wants me to go w/ him. were both in different relationships now nad happy but i dunno whats going to happen when we get together. then there is this guy i know at my school that has just started talking to me recently, but seems to really like me. so heres the problem. boys fall for me too easily. like im not being arrogant or anything, its totally true. my ex told me that once you get to know me its practically impossible not to fall for me. im worried that when he comes home something might happen or that this guy at my school might fall for me as well. and i dont know what to do because of my situation with my boyfriend at the moment. im in love with him but sometimes i dont know if our long distance relationship can really work out. any guidance? thanks so much!
The Answer
If you want to be with your boyfriend, you need to tell these guys to back off.
If you don't want to be with your boyfriend, then you need to tell your boyfriend that.
That is really all it comes down to. It doesn't matter what you think or feel about these other guys so long as you still have a boyfriend! They might as well not exist right?
Deal with one relationship at a time. Forget about the other guys, and deal with your guy first and formost. After you have done that, then you can put your mind to other possibilties.
Other people don't matter when it comes to your relationship with your boyfriend.
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The Question
Hey my name is Tyler.
I love my gf a lot and we tried to have sex...I lost my erection in the middle of it. And now every time we try to do it it happens. It doesn't happen when she gives me oral sex. But i get so worried that I'm going to lose my erection when we have sex that i do lose it!
Now to make matters worse my gf keeps arguing w/ me about it! I just need somebody to help me get through it! She doesn't understand how much stress it puts on me! She thinks that I don't want her when i rly do! I don't want to lose her over this...i just wish that she could understand...someone help me!
The Answer
Explain your situation and feelings to your girlfriend at a time when things are totally non-sexual, when you are both calm and clothed. I know it feels odd, but that is really the best way to get her to listen.
She needs to know how stressed this makes you feel, and she probably needs to hear very definately that it doesn't have anything to do with her. You aren't the only guy in this universe to find oral sex more stimulating then vaginal sex, not by a LONG shot, but a lot of women in the exact same situation find that emotionally difficult to handle.
Try putting a bit more focus on pleasing her and enjoying the whole act of sex, rather then just orgasming. If you stop worrying about it, it will be easier. This will also help her know that she is attractive to you and keep her distracted and positive about the whole thing.
In the end, she is the one who is going to have to deal with her feelings of inadequacy. Be supportive, remind her that this doesnâ??t have to do with her, offer compliments and attention, but remember you can't solve that problem for her, anymore then she can wave a magic wand and solve yours.
As her and your confidence improve, you can try experimenting with new positions and/or games that excite you both and offer your simulation you need.
AND as much as guys sometimes hate to hear it, not masturbating and/or orgasm as often, has a definate effect. Men might have an endless supply of sperm, but they don't have an endless desire for sex. Really.
If you can both back down and away from the orgasm issue for a bit, you'll likely get back into the swing of it. If the problem really persists, you could consider seeing a doctor, although there is likely nothing wrong with you. You simply enjoy what you enjoy.
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The Question
how do i answer a question like that? i dont know what to write for college essays!!!
The Answer
These are the sorts of things they want to hear:
That you will participate in student government or groups/sports/whatever it is that interests you.
If you have leadership experience or desire.
If you have volunteer experience or desire.
Your enthusiasm/talent/aptitude for course material.
Your excitement and desire to become a proud graduate and an ambassador of the school after you leave.
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The Question
I like this guy lets call him "Phil"(random name). I have a crush on him, he's at my new school. He plays guitar, is short, but cute, he luvs the same music i do(fob, mcr, p!atd, and to top it all off my locker is right next to his and we sit next to eachother for every class because of the seating chart. So today he sits next to me and my friend Tori for lunch. He says I remind him of his ex girlfriend. Now, from what I know from talking to him, he only has had one girlfriend and she and him were together 3 weeks ago, but he asked her to go to homecomeing with him, she said no and she brokeup with him. He was evidently head-over-heels for her.
FYI: I have a short attention span. So i just hear him say creepy and point at me. So i turned my head and said 'What's wrong with me being creepy?' He threw his hands up in surrender and said "You're not creepy at all! I said it's just creepy how much you are like my ex-girlfriend"
He's SO nice and cute! There's a Sady Hawkin's dance comin' up, so i was wondering what do u think he meant by that I'm like his ex, is that good or bad given the past.
I want him to know that I'm not some carbon clone of his ex if he does like me. How should I go about this.
The Answer
Please DO NOT repeat questions.
If you are going to ask the same question to the pool, and to invidual collumnists, at least have the sense to change the words around a bit, or else you could find yourself banned.
I don't know him, you or the ex. So, I wont even geuss if you reminding him of his ex is a good or bad thing.
By all means ask him to dance!
Frankly, you aren't going to figure out if you remind him of his ex in a good or bad way unless you do. His behavoir is the only thing that will tell you if he is looking for a carbon copy or not. If he always talks about her, if he wont get some distance from her and he moves waaaay to fast into a relationship with you, those are some pretty good signs that he wants you to take her place.
You can help make it clear to him by being original and honest. You and his ex are probably very different people, so you don't have to know all about her to illustrate your differences, you only need to know YOU. Talk about your hobbies and interests. Just be yourself and be honest.
If you realize he just wants a clone, don't go out with him agian.
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The Question
my friend, ill be like mad at her over something. and like ill act cold. and then she just doesnt even care. its like ,it doesnt matter if i get mad or not. she just acts like its no big deal. uhh i hate her so much right now.
The Answer
Acting 'cold' is NOT a good way to let someone know you are upset.
When someone acts cold to me, I ignore them. If they can't talk to me respectfully about the thier anger, then thier anger is not my problem.
If you are upset with someone, it's up to YOU to make that clear. You can't just give them the silent treatment and expect them to chase you and apologize.
They have to KNOW that you are upset before they are going to do anything about it. They need to understand WHY. People aren't physic. She might just think you are a moody person and never conect your behavoir with her actions.
Tell your friend you are mad, and tell her why. Only then will you know if she truly doesn't care, or if she just has no idea you are upset, or if she simply is too mature to respond to your 'silent treatment'.
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The Question
a have a hair round my nipple. how can i get rid of it? it bothers me a lot.
The Answer
You can pluck it, but you'll risk ingrown hairs, which I promise will bother you far more.
The hair there is perfectly normal. Almost all women have it. I wouldn't stress about it.
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The Question
Quick question about this birth control. when your taking it and you get your period, do you stop taking the pills till your period is over.. or do you still take the pill everyday while you have it?
thanks :)
The Answer
Most birth control pills, yaz included, come in two different packages.
One package only has 21 pills, and the other has 28.
The extra eight pills are just sugar pills. They do absoultely nothing. Some women just like them because it helps them remember to always take thier birth control.
So if you have a pack of 28 pills, you take one pill everyday. Some time in the last seven pills you will get your period.
If you have a pack with 21 pills. You take the pills for 21 days, and then take nothing for seven days. During that seven days your period will start. On the eighth day, you start a new pack, even if your period isn't totally finished.
Either way you do it. You are still protected from pregancy for those seven days.
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The Question
I am a person that really likes to know "why". When I say and/or say, ask or do some things, other people will find them stupid or dumb. Like today a friend of mine was wearing old sneakers (it was obvious, they were discolored and worn) and I remarked that they looked like they smelled (simply JKing). Another of my friends, who was sitting next to me, stated that that made no sense and things cannot look like they would smell. I was rather surprised at this comment, because that made total sense to me. It may seem petty and umimportant, but this kind of thing happens all the time. My actions and words make complete sense to me, why don't they to others?
The Answer
Others are nitpicky and very literal-minded.
Don't dweal on it. If they can't see what you can when it comes to little connections like that, it's thier loss.
Things can most certainly 'look like they smell'. Any person with a bit of imagination should be able to put that togeather.
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The Question
Well, here's the thing.
I've been dating my boyfriend Fred for 2 months. It'll be our two month anniversary tomorrow! Nothing has ever gotten in the way of our realationship, at least nothing until I went to Massachuttes. I mean, I've attracted other boys before, but I've always shrugged them off. I would say, "I have an amazing boyfriend, what else could I ask for?" But then I met Brandon. It was an instant attraction. So we would talk. Flirt. Talk. Flirt. And Flirt. I don't usually trust people but I instantly trusted him. When I left he gave me a hug and all his contact info. We talk like all the time and we both like eachother. He's not the the type that I usually go for. He's been through alot but he's really mature but at the same time so funny. I think that's what attracts me to him. We're so different, but at the same time, so much alike. Opposites attract. I mean, It's not like I don't love my boyfriend anymore. It's just differnt. I've talked to him about how I'm feeling, but I don't seem to say the right thing. Does this mean I've fallen out of love? Do I really have a choice anymore? Maybe I'm too young for anything. Please help. All advice is accepted.
In hope of help,
cheapxphotography
The Answer
No one is in a relationship because they are never attracted to another person. People are in relationships because they have made a choice to be true to that one person, regardless of their attractions to others.
In the grand scheme of things, you really haven't been with Fred all that long. If you are already having serious doubts about the relationship, maybe you have a really good idea there:
Maybe you aren't ready for a 'boyfriend'.
If you aren't ready to choose just one person, you need to be honest about it, to yourself and to him, or you will cause you both a shit load of pain.
Just because someone is 'amazing' doesn't mean you will definately want to be with them.
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The Question
13/F
Is it bad for a kid my age to watch porn? I mean, I just look at pictures of naked ANIME characters. I think it's funny. Me and my friends always make fun of it. is it bad? I mean, it's only ANIME porn! It doesn't sounds bad... But I justed wanted to know is it? Um, also, please don't anything rude. I don't like rude peeps cuz they're... well... rude, so yea. Jus ttell me if it's bad or not. I mean, the pictures don't really show much. They cover the guys bottom half.
I'm more comfertable by the way, watching anime porn then ACTUAL porn. And, I like GAY ANIME PORN too. Does that mean, I'm a lez or something? I hope not... PLEASE HELP!!!!!
The Answer
Meh. There is nothing inherently wrong with pornography, animated or otherwise, until it starts negatively affecting your life, interfering in your relationships or functioning.
If watching two guys go at it makes you a lesbian then wow, have I had the wrong idea about lesbians...
No. I don’t think enjoying gay erotica doesn't make you 'gay' anymore then enjoying watching wrestling makes you a wife beater. Consider it a facet of your sexual pleasure, not a definition.
You have plenty of time to figure yourself out. In the meantime, enjoy whatever you’d like, so long as it harms no one, not even yourself.
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The Question
i just broke up with a guy that i was going out with for almost 3 years and this is actually the 3rd time that i break up with him but than the 2 times he started crying and i felt bad and i got with him but my parents dont like him and i think that is enough reason why i shouldnt be with him but than wen i broke up with him today he called me back and he started crying and telling me i'm being selfish i mean i belive im not i hate myself for putting him through this and he dose not understand that i need to be alone right now? Am i being selfish we are not young people we are adults help me
The Answer
It doesn't matter why you don't want to be with him.
It doesn't even matter if you want to be alone for 'selfish' reasons.
When you don't want to be with someone, you dump them. That is only fair, to you and to them.
You can't stay with someone because you 'are supposed too', or out of guilt. Those aren't real relationships, those are lies.
Getting back togeather with him would be telling him a lie. Don't do it.
Tell him he isn't helping either of you deal with the break up with his begging and crying. Tell you wish it didn't hurt him, but know it will, and that YOU CAN'T HELP HIM with this pain. The person who caused the pain can't help the other person work through it.
Then stop taking his calls, at least for a few weeks.
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The Question
i am a 21 yearold female and for the past 2 and half years i have been dating this guy who is also 21 years old but my parents are not approval of him and i dont know what to do it has been 2 years that they are telling me to break up with him and now after all this time he wanted to take a week break is this a right time to break up with him or dose he want to end it himself since he wanted the break ? what should i do?
The Answer
If you don't want to be with him, end it.
Whenever you feel like you don't want to be with him anymore, end it.
If he doesn't want to be with you, he will end it.
It is no more complicated then that.
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The Question
ok so there is this guy that im kinda like well call him bob. i kissed him once made out a couple of times he says he likes me and i said he liked him but hes so confusing hell hang out with me then another girl then make out with me then monday hell have a damn girlfriend so im wondering why is he doing this and should i talk to him about it?! or forget this and be firends but if he kisses me again im gonna need to know whats going on!
The Answer
Unless he has you tied to a chair, kissing takes two people.
Don't let him kiss you (duh!) while he has a girlfriend.
Sounds to me like he just a guy who needs a girl at the moment, and maybe doesn't mind too much which girl that is. Don't worry about it and don't bother to bring it up with him. He likely doesn't know what he is doing himself.
Try to move on. Maybe when he isn't in a relationship you two can work this out, but a kiss is just a kiss. Let it go.
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The Question
Define cheating in a love relatinsip
The Answer
I can't give you a definite definition for that.
'Cheating' is the breaking of an agreement or a violation of rules.
Every relationship has slightly different 'rules' and different agreements.
Some couples would see going out for dinner with a member of the opposite sex as 'cheating'. Some wouldn't even define sleeping with another person as cheating because their agreement allows for sexual experiences with others!
So, with every relationship you enter into, you need to ask yourself these questions:
What are the 'rules' I choose to follow and which of them do I expect my partner to follow?
What is the agreement we have established?
(This is an IMPORTANT ONE! If someone ‘cheats' on you and you forgive him or her again and again, that is an agreement! You have AGREED to forgive them regardless of their cheating ways. Be very wary of what sort of agreements you come to with your partner.)
Have my partner and I talked about our respective rules and what we believe the agreement to be? Do we agree, or at least respect one another’s 'rules' and can live with the disagreements?
What 'cheating' is will vary different in every relationship you have. It will depend on your maturity, your level of trust and on your partner. When I was thirteen, holding another’s hand seemed like a serious offense, now pecks, lingering hugs, and even crushes and harmless flirting don’t faze me in the least. My definition of cheating has evolved.
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The Question
So I've been dating my current boyfriend for about a month now. He says he loves me but we don't actually talk much, and I'm beginning to think it's more of a sexual relationship than anything else. I'm also getting really bored, and he lies to me a lot. Along with this, he cheated on me, but sticks to the stroy of it not being intentional.
I was with one of his good friends a while back. It ended pretty badly but we've both changed a lot. He says he has feelings for me, but I know he isn't over his ex. Maybe i like him back.
And so I'm really confused about what I should do. Things seem like they're going ok with guy #1 but it also seems like that's just a facade. Guy #2 is just trouble. And I kinda miss being on my own. I don't want to hurt 1 but I'm positive it's going to happen eventually at the rate things are going.
The Answer
Sounds like as far as you are concerned, the relationship with him is done, you are just waiting for something happen to make it offical.
Stop waiting. You are only faking it and that isn't fair. It's okay to not want to be with him anymore, he's a lying, cheating jackass. Yes, he will probably be hurt. Break ups aways hurt, even lying, cheating jackasses get hurt. That isn't a good enough reason to stick around and pretend that you are still in a relationship.
Just be on your own for a while. You don't *need* to be dating someone. If there is no one practicularlly interesting in your life, then don't date anyone.
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The Question
my ex and i may be getting back. but first he wants me to prove to him i can be loyal. the only reason he worries is because he used to cheat and worries i want to get back. plus we broke up cuz i had feelings for someone else. we still love eachother, but he doesn't want to get back together because he is worried i won't be loyal. how can i prove to him he is the only one for me, and not have to wait forever. also, my bf may be going to jail for awhile, and it will be hard to prove it.
The Answer
He cheated and you need to prove yourself? Am I missing something here.
Look, you can't 'prove' loyalty, or love for that matter, in some grand gesture. If you say you will be loyal, well he is just gonna have to trust you. The exact same what that you just have to trust that he wont cheat, agian.
Don't wait. Tell him he can either trust you, or he can not trust you.
If he can't, move on.
If the only one for you is a cheating felon you are likely better off alone.
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The Question
so me and my boyfriend were having sex and my lips totally blew up and got huge i have no idea why it didnt go away til like the next night what was that why did it blow up it scared me?
The Answer
I take it you mean you vaginal lips?
That's normal-ish. The lips of the vagina actually do fill up with a bit of extra blood when you are aroused. Irration or friction can also cause swelling.
Were you using a different kind of lube or condom? If so, avoid that brand in the future. Were you feeling rough or dry during sex? If so, use lubrication. Friction is a bad thing.
Also remember that showering after sex is never a bad idea.
If it happens frequently and the swelling doesn't go down after showering, then you need to see a doctor.
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