Razhie


"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.


Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

Favourite Collumnists. (WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)


    The Question
    ok i know that this is gonna sound really sick but im a virgin and well im forever reading sex books but im reading this book that isnt a sex book its called the "Painted Bird" and in this book there was a scence or a page rather of this gurl having sexual intercouse with a goat a goat how fucking gross but for some reason it kinda turned me on i mean i would never do it but it freaked me out i mean i got wet to it it really excited me something as tabo as that and then theres a whole lot of scenes when these guys are raping women witch i find totally disgusting and degrating it also turned me on am i some kind of sicko but when i read it in the paper i feel disgusted and horrified i dont know one of my fantasy's is to be taken advangate of you know dominated so what does this mean how can i get turned on from fucking a goat !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The Answer
    Meh. People can get turned on by warm bread. It's not a big deal. Sometimes the oddest things will get you going. I have a friend who, no matter how ugly, smelly, just plain icky a person is, will get chills if someone blows on her ear.

    Getting a bit turned on is just a physical response, it’s not entirely under your control so don’t feel so bad. As long you understand what is acceptable sexual behavior and what isn’t, it doesn’t matter what sort of fantasies turn you on.

    Being ravaged sexually is a very common female fantasy. It’s also fun... I mean, when you are ready to have sex it’s fun. Anyways, don’t stress yourself out.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    28/m
    About a week ago I pinched a girl on the buns in a parking lot because I thought it was an old friend of mine. Well, it wasn't! So she turned around, put one hand on my shoulder to hold me still, cocked her other arm back and said: "I hope it was worth it". Then she punched me right in the mouth....and HARD!!!! She knocked out my 2 front teeth!! Asked me if I learned my lesson and I said: "Yes ma'am".
    Do you think I deserved it? The worse part about it is that I had to go home and explain it to my wife. Now, not only do I have to go without for 6 months, I have to make her breakfast in bed every morning for 6 months!! Do you think I have it coming just for pinching another girl on the bottom??

    The Answer
    Nah, you didn't have it comming, not the punch or the punishment. It was dumb move on your part but you don't deserve any more punishment then your wife, dentist and friends laughing rather heartily at you for it.

    I wish you the best. Hopefully in a few months you can laugh this crazy buisness off as well.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I (21/f) have a higher sex drive than my boyfriend (22/m). It started putting stress on our relationship when we moved in together at the beginning of this year. First, please don't tell me to masturbate. I do. It doesn't help. Physically, yes of course it helps, but I'd rather be with my boyfriend than with myself all the time. I don't have a problem with him masturbating, but when I think that he has, I get jealous because I feel that he isn't meeting my needs and he should have involved me since I'm the one with the higher sex drive. I know these thoughts are very selfish, wrong, and most of all, hypocritical. That's why I'm asking for help.


    Things are made worse by the fact that he is the dominant one sexually and I am more submissive. He is always the one to initiate. I will always be submissive and I enjoy being so, so that's not going to change. Even so, I get so upset about things at times that I attempt to initiate, but nothing ever ends up happening, frustrating me even more. All of this makes me often feel that my boyfriend is not sexually attracted to me, which hurts our relationship further since, duh, he is.


    I'm looking for a mature way to handle this that preferably doesn't involve him. I'm looking for a way to get rid of all of these inaccurate, negative feelings on my own. I don't want to threaten his masculinity and I've already tried talking to him about it. We argued for awhile, then talked about it maturely, but didn't really get anywhere. He says that he already does things for me sexually when he's not really feeling up to it himself. He told me that I was making it sound like I want our relationship to be based on sex and that sex is all I care about. That's not in the least bit true. He knows that, but I obviously didn't go about things the right way if he got that impression from me.

    This isn't going to cause us to split up or anything, but it's making me moody and difficult to be around. I feel really bad for my boyfriend for having to put up with all of this.


    So,

    Is there a way to talk about this with my boyfriend and actually get somewhere?

    How would you feel if you knew that your significant other had this problem?

    How can I get rid of the inaccurate, negative feelings that this situation is causing me to have?

    Is there anything that I haven't tried that might help?


    I hope to get an answer from someone who has been in a similar situation. Thank you.

    The Answer
    Talk to someone else. A therapist who specializes in relationships or sex would be even better.

    If years of struggling with mental illness have taught me anything at all it is this: You cannot get rid of all of inaccurate, negative feelings on your own, even if you are perfectly sane. You and your boyfriend are locked into patterns of behavior and nothing in this universe but a fresh pair of eyes and a new brain is going to be able suggest a new path. Neither of you can see the forest for the trees right now. Stop trying. Ask for help.

    I have been in your position, and I have recently had the even less enjoyable opportunity to be in your boyfriend’s position. So this is my informed, yet egotistical opinion:

    You can have the perfect monogamous relationship or you can regularly refuse the sexual advances of your partner, but neither the guy nor the girl can pull off both. If this monogamous relationship is a priority to your boyfriend, and too you, you are going to have to strike a deal. Because despite what you said, this is perfectly capable of splitting you up! Not over the sex, but the rejection and stress and pain that goes with it. That IS a relationship killer. I hope you both can see that clearly.

    So, first off: Get a fresh mind involved here. Someone who can see past the same old script you two are following. You aint gonna climb out of this hole all by yourself. You can go by yourself, or you can go as a couple, either way, go.

    Secondly, redefine sex.

    If your expectation each time you (or he) initiates a sexual situation is vaginal intercourse, then your expectation is ridiculous. If your expectation is orgasm, that might even be bit a high of an expectation. If the gender roles were reversed, I would, without a hint of shame, suggest to the women that she cheerfully give regular handjobs, blowjobs, lubejobs… whatever and to her man, that he cheerfully accept them in lieu of straight sex. In your case, mutual masturbation, little sexy shows for him (that you get off on), playing with toys with him or while he watches, sharing erotic stories or dirty talk, or for goodness sake go back to the dry humping of your early teens! If you start encompassing those things into your definition of “sex with my boyfriend” suddenly you’ll find yourself getting laid a hell of lot more.

    One more word of advice: Don’t give me this I’m submissive bullcrap. I’m sure it’s perfectly true and may explain some of the trouble, but I will not accept that as any sort of ‘excuse’, neither will a therapist and neither should your boyfriend. I’m submissive. I’m submissive in the tie me up and call me your bitch way, but even I can suck it up and ask for, then pursue, what I want if I aint getting it. Open your mind, learn to initiate, learn to engage and maintain the action, practice it, and incorporate it into your style. As I said before, expand your horizons, take some chances and you will find yourself getting laid a hell of a lot more.

    And yes, nothing I suggested may be quite as satisfying as what it is you want most of all. Try it all anyways with an eager and open mind. Tell your boyfriend before hand what it is you are trying so he isn’t confused, or even worse, rejects you because he thinks it’s just the same old pattern being played out. And if any of my suggestions are enjoyable, but just not as satisfying as you would like, suck it up and learn appreciate them as hundereds of men out there learn to live with handjobs when they really rather be having the sex their women just can’t put up with right then. Focus on the pleasure you are experiencing not the pleasure you aren’t.

    Don’t forget the therapist. I’m not kidding. Make an appointment. Now.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    18-f-aus

    is it possible if 2 girls have oral together like you can catch aids or other diseases cause i have been with a few girls and im scared now that ive catched something and im gonna die its not possible if i just used my fingers right?? and you cant get diseases in yoru mouth can u please help im scared that ive got some infesting disease inside of me killing me away without me knowing

    The Answer
    Two girls are able to transmit STDs between them. It's a little bit less likely then with intercourse, but certainly possible.

    You can get an STD in your mouth, if you have any open sores or rips in the skin. Same goes for your hands, small cuts could allow as STD to enter your body.

    See a doctor for an STD test so you can lay your fears to rest.

    THEN EDUCATE YOURSELF!

    These kind of things are important to know if you going to have sex with anyone! Even other girls! So when you are at the doctors pick up some handbooks on safe sex, or better yet, ask the doctor, and learn the facts. It might save your life.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    what if it feels like i always have to pee even right after i do? and then its really unconfortable after i do pee..im a virgin, but ive given my boyfriend head before, but i know that he doesnt have any stds. could i have an std?
    (f/15)

    The Answer
    If you are experiencing burning during and after urination and a constant need to urinate, you probably have an UTI, a very common, very easy to cure infection that you can get spontaneously.

    Go see a doctor.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I have two younger brothers (10 and 14) and me (16) and today me and my mother were talking about how old we're all getting and how fast we're growing up and she said "well not fast enough" and i asked what she meant and she said, "as long as you guys are this young i cant leave your father" and she completely broke down and started crying and said "I cant take it any longer" and i said "just leave him now" but she refuses to do anything until we're all married and on our own, but i hate this because i havnt noticed until now how miserable she is, my dad keeps telling her she's worthless and treating her like crap and telling her we're bad children and its all her fault - she's a bad mother (when she's really not!!) And the thing is he's been treating her like this for about 6 years, (we call it "the daily burst out" everyday my dad has to use her as a verbal punchbag for atleast 1 hour before he can go out and pretend to be happy, its like his way of getting all the anger out so he can live a normal life... he had a pretty messed up childhood) I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. i cant mak myself grow up any quicker!! or my brothers.. and i feel bad telling my mom to leave him like this. and she wont anyways. WHAT DO I DO???

    The Answer
    Sadly there is probably little you can do that will improve the situation. Your mother has made a choice, an irrational one, and convinced herself that it is worth it to stay in this situation for the sake of her children. That is plainly wrong, but it's her decision, and nothing you can say it going to change her mind. She is scared of what will happen if she leaves. Scared for herself and for her children and she rather be miserable and abused then scared.

    It's a lousy situation and sucky choice, but it's hers to make.

    If you can, encourage her to talk to other adults. Ask her to call a friend, a sibling a parent, anyone who loves her, could listen and offer support. If you can, suggest seeing a counselor or a therapist by herself so she can start to talk and think clearly. She probably doesn't want to burden you, but she can't revaluate her decisions until she starts examining them seriously. As long as she keeps all that fear and those hateful things he says all bottled up in her mind, she won’t be able to change her situation.

    For yourself, find someone to talk too as well. Friends are awesome, but since it’s adult problems that you are suffering through, an adult might be able to understand a bit better and offer more solid advice. A teacher, a school counselor, even an older girlfriend or an aunt or cousin would be great.

    Lastly, try to forgive your mother if she is stressed or cranky. Give her the benefit of the doubt and don’t talk to her cruelly, even when you are really angry with her (cause face it, all teens get angry with their moms from time to time.) Deal with your frustration the way you wish your father would. That is the very best way to show your mom support and model the kind of love she really deserves.
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    The Question
    Why is it that guys can't just put their animalistic urges in check? I'm not speaking on behalf of all guys, but I have a feeling that many guys out there only want one thing, and think with their little head, if you know what i mean.
    I just went out with my 'boyfriend' (it's only been a month) and his friends tonight; it was St. Patrick's day, so of course we went bar hopping. All the girls were displaying their goods as though they were on sale. And I understand that it's hard not to look when a girl is wearing something nice/flaunting, has nice body, etc.., etc.., but I could tell that my bf was kind of looking at them in that way. Not like up and down or anything, but it was like, " hello, I'm here!" I don't know if I'm overreacting or anything, but he's a charming guy, and a few girls smiled at hime, and it got me to wonder: when I'm not around, who's number is he getting? And what does he do, or how does he act with other girls when I'm not around. Cause when I was RIGHT THERE, I still had a feeling he was checking girls out, and don't get me wrong: I glance at hot guys too, but if my bf is there, it's like NO WAY< not going there.
    SO, i'd like to hear from you, guy or girl: is this appropriate to an extent (on his part), and am i overreacting, or is this understandable?
    Sorry for such a long message, I'm just getting it all out! BTW: 22, F

    The Answer
    It's understandable, but yes, you are overreacting.

    If they have eyes, they will look. No one has eyes only for one person. Have you ever been having a good talk with your boyfriend and gotten distracted by something pretty in a store window? This isn’t any different.

    You can hate him for the simple fact he looks, you can yell at him and argue and cry and maybe he’ll have the self control to stop doing it. But he won’t stop wanting too and he will not stop thinking about other women in a sexual way. When you are around, and when you aren’t.

    Men are going to get turned on by other women. There are jokes about guys getting turned on by loaves of bread or fast cars and they aren’t simply exaggerations. They wake up turned on. It's a physical trigger that is not completely under their control. You might as well try to make him guilty about farting. He might try to hide it to make you happy, but he isn’t physically capable of stopping it all together.

    Other women are never the threat to your relationship dear. Your partners own stupidity is the damn problem. But if is going to misbehave, then he is going to misbehave and he is just ask likely to pick a nice, conservative girl he met at a lecture as a girl baring it all at the bar. A cheater isn’t a cheater because they are flashed some skin, they are simply cheaters.

    Certainly talk to him about your feelings. This fear you have of him getting numbers or flirting when you aren’t around isn’t a very productive one, and hopefully he can assure you otherwise and help you to overcome your discomfort. But keep in mind; he hasn’t done anything wrong. If he does, then you can let him have it, but if you can’t manage to trust him now, then you shouldn’t be dating him at all.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    This is for anyone who may have had the same thing happen...

    I'm taking an Analytical Chemistry course in university right now.

    Yesterday in my lab, I was working with 99.99% pure Ni. I handled it with my bare hands. After that, I was pouring nitric acid into a graduated cylinder, and I think there was some on the bottle. My thumb started to burn, so I rinsed it off right away.

    Then, to my horror, I realized that I had a large yellow spot on my thumb.

    Any idea what it is, or how to get rid of it?

    The Answer
    Ask your professor or your T.A.

    I’m sure as a chemistry student you know that nitric acid is very corrosive and can burn skin. hopefully that is all that happened and the spot will heal with time...

    But not many people here will know for sure what happened, but people who have worked for years in a lab will probably have some idea of what happened and what needs to be done.

    You have a bunch of professionals right there at your school! They probably have the information you need. Don’t be embarrassed, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Ask for help.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    When my fiancee and I have unprotected sex, it doesn't hurt right afterwards. It hurts the next time I go to the bathroom. We use lubricant and we have both been tested for STD's and are clean. Why is it doing that and what can I do to prevent it?

    The Answer
    If the pain is really infrequent and only happens after sex you could be allergic to the lubricant or spermicide in it that you are using. Change your brand and see what happens.

    Pain with urination after sex can also happen if you had a full balder while having sex, so don’t have sex if you need to go pee. Ruin the moment, tell him to cool it, and that you’ll be back in a minute. It’s worth it.

    If neither of those things reduce the pain you should probably see a doctor and make sure you don’t have a UTI (urinary tract infection) or even an STI they missed before.

    The tiniest little bit of discomfort urinating after sex isn’t unusual. It’s recommended that you go pee shortly after sex to clean out any unwelcome bacteria that might have slipped into your urinary tract. If you were in a state of arousal for a very long time, it could also cause everything down there to be a little tense, or even more simply, a little raw. HOWEVER, if the pain is a regular occurrence, please follow my advice and change your lubricant, make sure your bladder is empty, and failing that, see a doctor.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    do they ask you if you masturbate at the gynocologist?

    The Answer
    No. They don't care.

    The only reason it would ever come up is if you are damaging yourself. So as long you aren't causing yourself pain, you'll be fine.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    when i was young i used to masterbate really bad and now my inner lip is stretched and kinda purple lookin is this bad or normal?

    The Answer
    Its normal, and likely has nothing to do with your masturbation habits.

    Some girls just have longer, or uneven labia. Unless you are in pain, don't worry about it.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    what is the penalty you would get for driving friends under 21 with just a permit and no parents in the car in massachusetts?

    The Answer
    Death in a car accident caused by your dumb friends as they distract you and horse around in the car?

    Actaully you'd would be looking at a 60 to 180 day licence suspension for driving with passangers and unsupervised and a fine ranging from between $200 and $1000 dollars.

    It would probably be cheeper to take a cab.

    http://www.mass.gov/rmv/blog_jol_chart.htm
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Okay, so when writing a paper for english class, how do we know when to use just one of these ' rather than two of them ("). Like when you write something you would use air quotes around while speaking it, do you just use one mark (the apostrophe mark) or two (the quotation mark) around the term. Such as in The Taming Of The Shrew they talk about taming someone. Since you technically can't tame somebody, would you write tame like 'tame' or like "tame"?

    Do you catch my drift?

    The Answer
    You use a double quotation mark " not a ' UNLESS tame is contained inside of a direct quote from somewhere else.

    Single quotation marks are for a quotation enclosed inside another quotation like so...

    "When I talked to Razhie last week, she said 'Purple is the best colour ever.'"

    So in the text of your essay you should use double quotation marks as air quotes to indicated words used ironically.

    But honestly, I wouldn’t use this device in your essay. It’s very, very easy to use it incorrectly, and although the word tame might be used in an ironic sense throughout the play, that doesn’t mean you’ll manage to phrase your thoughts in such a way that keep it’s ironic meaning and validate your choice of punctuation. You’d be better to italicize the word for emphasis and then explain the word’s ironic usage in your essay, unless you are absolutely certain that you have used the word an ironic way.
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    The Question
    Hi

    Im a 15 year old Male from the UK

    I found out my dad watches porn when i was about 12. I found this out because i was just looking through some videos to put on and found a tape with porn on it. The really bad thing is.. my friends were also there :(. 2 of them to be precise. We watched some of it.. to.. you know.. and they asked me. "where the hell did that come from?", i said, "it must be my Dads". The reason i said that was because i had'nt watched porn, my mum doesnt watch porn. So it must have been my Dad. Now at school my 'friends' all pick on me and say my Dad watches porn etc. and it really hurts my feelings because i just wish i could turn back time and have said it was mine or something. My confidence on finding a girlfriend in school has dropped because my 'friends' might tell them my dad watches porn and then they will call me and my Dad a perve. . If i could get some advice on what to do with this, that would be nice.

    Thanks

    The Answer
    Chill out and tell you friends to fig off.

    Most people don't want to believe it, but the simple truth is that the majority of adult males enjoy some form of pornography. Tens of millions of Americans consume porn. That's more people than watch CSI or own an iPod. When you walk down your street every fourth house you pass has someone in it that enjoyed porn in the last month.

    Your friends are juvenile assholes who likely consume more porn in a week then your father has in the last five years. They are hypocritical, shit disturbers who would let this rather embarrassing subject drop just as soon as it stops obviously bothering you.

    Sure, it’s uncomfortable to know such things about our parents and even worse to have others know but it was three damn years ago! It’s not funny anymore it’s just plain stupid. Tell your friends as much and then drop the subject.

    If the girls around you aren’t mature enough to just shrug off pornography as one of those harmless things some people do, they aren’t mature enough to be dating anyone with any seriousness anyways, but you’ll never know anything about their maturity level unless you get over your shyness long enough to speak to them.

    Your friends might be behaving like little boys, but you are refusing to rise above it. Confidence is your core problem, not the porn.
    Take a deep breath, role your eyes at lame jokes and let this silly incident slide into the past. If anyone brings it up agian, say this "Yeah we found a video in my house years ago. Never knew exactly whoes it was. Wierd eh?"
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Hi, ive had my retainer off braces off for about 3 years and have been wearing a retainer since. like 2 years ago my orthodontist told me i could wear my retainer at night only and have been doing so. one time during the 3 years of wearing my retainer i forgot my retainer at home for a week when i went on vacation, nothing happened when i put it back on. now, i forgot it again when going on vacation for a week, but for some reason im seeing a slight gap ~.5mm wide forming in between my two front teeth...how much are my teeth going to move, should i be concerned, if i put my retainer back on when i get back will it be ok?

    The Answer
    It should be just fine. If your teeth have shifted at all, your retainer will just be a tad tight and uncomfortable at first. After a night or two, you'll be back to normal.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I've heard a lot about dental dams when giving a girl oral sex. If all you are doing is sucking on the clitoris is it alright NOT to use a dental dam? I'm the only guy that my girlfriend has ever been with and she's the only girl that I've ever been with and we've been together for over 4 years. Thank you.

    The Answer
    It doesn't matter what you are doing down there, if you want to be protected from STDs you should be using a dental dam.

    HOWEVER, if you've been with someone exclusivly for that long, you are probably safe not to use it. But before you discard it, it might not hurt you both to have an STD test, then you know that you are both clean, and as long as neither of cheat, you'll likely stay that way.

    Dental Dams exsits to stop the transmission of STD's. They don't really have any other purpose. So if you know you are clean and trust your partner, then a bit of oral sex without one is probably an acceptable risk.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    my "best friend" is going after a guy I like. I introduced them and I told her I liked him before she even met him, but now she's going after him behind my back and aparently he likes her.. am i the one being messed up or is she?

    The Answer
    Honestly, I find the whole idea that a guy is off limits because your friend has a crush on him to be quite high-schoolish. I would never in a million years mess around with a friend's boyfriend, but crushes have to go two-ways for anything to come of them. So if they like each other, that is great. That means the two of them can move past the 'crush' phase into something more. If nothing more was happening between you and him, I think the mature thing to do would be shrug your shoulders and be happy for her.

    She shouldn't be going behind your back though. It's much healthier for people to be upfront about these things. Talk to her calmly about it and get the real story. She is your friend after all. You might be a bit hurt, but she hasn't betrayed you in any way.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    To start i am almost 18 and my bf is 18. My bf and i have a 13 month history (we took a couple month break..but now i would say we have a solid relationship)
    Today we went to a WWE wrestling thing and he was fascinated by the divas (they were just wearing lil mini skirts with the thong showing..ugh)..annddd today he was determined to get his S.I swimsuit edition..he likes that kind of stuff and claims its normal. it just pisses me off..and noww after this wrestling show he asked me how i would feel if he goes to a strip club..what do you guys think about this?? i hate how he drools over them ..and likes his stupid magazines..and his lil porno videos he burns off the internet.
    any input..is this normal? do i let him have his fun at the strip club?..

    The Answer
    Seems like its normal for him.

    The simple secret of the universe is that if men have eyes they will look. Frankly, women tend just to be more discrete about it.

    You can hate him for his desire to look at bare flesh, you can yell at him and argue and cry and maybe he’ll stop doing it. But he won’t stop wanting too.

    Men are going to get turned on by other women, especially teenage males. I’ve hear jokes about them getting turned on by loaves of bread or fast cars. They wake up turned on. It's a physical trigger that is not completely under their control. You might as well make him feel bad about farting. Everyone does it, we can’t always control it.

    Not letting him to go is unrealistic. You don’t 'let' your boy have his fun. He is going to do what he wants too.

    Certainly talk to him about your feelings. Telling him specifically what your fears are. Figure out what it is that bothers you exactly. That might help the two of you come to some compromises will let you feel secure with his decisions.

    You are in control of your own feelings and reactions. You don’t have to be miserable about this. If this is something that is really hurting your relationship, then it’s not really about the models at all. It’s about the way the two of you are dealing with each other.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    i am a 15 year old guy. i have always like girls and i mean ALWAYS. never ever felt even the slightest love directed at a guy. 4 months ago i asked a girl out. after that, i had a crush on another girl a little less than 2 months ago.
    I am really confused because about 3 weeks ago i started wondering i may be gay after i saw some line reading a soccer review where the player said "its a man's game". i have no clue why but that set of a chain reaction in me. after this i can count about 3 instances where i haven't been aroused that much by porn. i have never watched gay porn but for some reason it seems more exciting but not so arousing. i think it might be the hero worship happening now. i am sexually attracted to women ONLY and masturbate thinking about them only and do not fantasize about men.
    my relationship with my dad is good but i don't see him so much because he is busy and my brother left for college last year. have not been able to meet my friends so much cos i have study leave for exams.
    please help. i really need it

    The Answer
    Chill. You are fifteen. You are not required to figure out your sexuality tomorrow.

    If you are still attracted to women, then you why would you think you are gay? Gay men tend not to be sexually attracted to women.

    Curiosity, even about gay sex, is perfectly normal. This also may be something a bit more and you might have simply stumbled over a new aspect of your sexuality.

    The bottom line is it doesn't really matter. Your sexuality doesn't define who you are and there is no reason to flip out over it. Keep your eyes open. Pay attention to yourself and what you want, but donâ??t expect to understand everything about your sexuality tomorrow. Iâ??ve been sexual active for years and Iâ??m still learning new things about myself.

    Talk to your friends or father if you think that will help, but if you can relax and accept simple things without getting worked up over it, you could just keep considering the details calmly, without letting pointless worry run your life.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Why is it that when i do something bad my mother goes and tells everyone in the family? Is it because family has to know?...or is she just trying to make me look bad? I just gots to know..cause my mom is always doing that to me and she even do it to my friend...he does something bad and she tells my family that my best friend did this or that..and it makes me look bad...my aunts are always like you should get new friends...but whatever happened to the good things me and my best friend do?...so I'm juss sayin is why do parents do this to us kids

    -vianey 13/f

    The Answer
    Because your life is important to them and like it or not, YOU are the main thing they think about and the main thing they want to talk about. You are your mother’s main worry, her main pride, her main concern and likely the main purpose of her life. So she talks about you. Of course she talks about you. What else would she talk about? The weather?

    Yes it’s a little insensitive and unfair of her to be telling your extended family everything, but your aunts are concerned with you as well! If they want to hear about your so badly, maybe you should tell them about the good things. They might be delighted to get some information straight from the source.
    (View All Other Answers.)



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