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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 4652. Visitors: 200397.
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The Question
It's probably likely that none of you have a medical degree and thus cannot really answer my question and be 100% correct. Unless ofcourse you have this problem too.
I don't know if it's normal or not to have random stabbing pains. I get them in my side and in my back. I've asked my friends if they have random occurences like that, they said no.
It's not my appendix(the symptoms don't add up) and I don't have my gallbladder anymore. I'm just curious I suppose to see if any of you share these random spurts of pain and if you've had them checked out.
Note - I'm not going to a doctor(now at least) becuase I don't have insurance, or a job at the moment.
The Answer
Such pains are very commonly a symptom of a kidney infection especailly if the areas that you get the pains are sore when you apply pressure to them.
Althought kidney infections can be very easy to treat at first, left to long they can require sugury.
Sighs. Good luck anyways. See a doctor as soon as you can.
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The Question
I like the advice you gave me about my mother always being around, but the funny part is I have tried telling her before and she cried and said that she wasn't coming back over anymore and she was back the next week. She lives alone, she has tons of friends because they call here all the time. She hates my fiance and tells me all the time. If we're not home, she'll wait outside until we get here. It's just a mess. I guess I'll have to tell her again. I just don't know how to say it. What should I say?
The Answer
Agh. Such a mess.
How about "My fiance lives here, you do not. If you don't like him I suggest you leave."
Or, finding her waiting at your door "How nice to see you. We are very busy tonight but I will call you when I am ready to have company." Do not open the door while she is still there. Make it quite clear she is not invited in.
Also, make sure all her friends know her home number. They should not be calling your place to speak to her. They may call her at her home. You are not her secretary. Give them her home phone number and leave it at that (I would do this even if she is at your house at the time. It's very rude for her to give out your number to her friends. It needs to be abundantly clear she may not take social calls at your home.)
And yes, you need to tell her agian, and put up with her crying. I stand by my advice to have a designated time for her, invite her for dinner or such. If she arrives at any other time, remind her of your invitation and make it clear that that is the time when she welcome not whenever she pleases.
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The Question
ive been crazy about this one guy for 3 yrs! THREE YEARS! well my feelings have been on and off but i usually like him. i mean i only dated my ex to get him jealous (i know thats mean = \ )
anways this guy, nick, always says we'll get together and stuff but just leads me on and plays games. im fed up with it. should i just stop talkin 2 him completly? i want to so i wont get hurt anymore.. but i dont because hes a REALLY good friend = \
what do you think? thanks!!
The Answer
Would a really good friend lead you on and play mind games with you? Do you regularly get fed up with your really good friends because they treat you badly?
No one who leads you on is a really good friend.
Break the habit and stop talking to him. After so much time there is no reason for you to keep accepting his bad behavoir. Move on.
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The Question
Well my period is very irregular. Like The last time I had one was 4 months ago. It's always like that, sometimes it can go 7 months without one. I don't really mind it because it's less worry for me...but once every month ill get the cramps but no blood or anything, but then again it is a worry because Im always afraid of when itll be comming and I have no idea when, its unpredictable. But I was wondering if I could still get pregnant even though I dont have a period much? What do you think could possibly be wrong? Such factors I have considered would be stress, anxiety, depression, irregular eating patterns, could vegetarianism have something to do with it?
The Answer
There is always the possibility of getting pregnant. Never assume you can't get pregnant just because of irregularity. That is a mistake you will regret.
Cramps without any blood concerns me a little. All the factors you've listed could have quite an effect on your period, especially if they are all present at once. It takes a lot of energy for a woman to ovulate and it sounds like your body isn't getting what it needs.
See a doctor about the cramps and a nutritionist about your diet. Although irregularity isn't normally a big deal, your case seems to have some serious causes and risks.
Take care of yourself.
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The Question
Me and my brothers best friend got really involved and I gave him my varginity!! Now I am not allowed to be near him becuase my brother feels that it would hurt me more. The fact was that he used me and I dont hate him. I want to see him so I could tell him how he really made me feel but no one will let me! What should I do? (i am now almost 16 and he is 20)
What should I do? I want him to know how much he hurt ME!
The Answer
Write him a letter or an email perhaps, but I wouldn't suggest you try and talk to him in person.
It seems likely that he is a selfish little prick, and will probably never understand the extent to which he has hurt you. You'll have to come to terms with what has happened on your own. Put your thoughts down in writting, even if you never get a chance to send them to him, it will help you and your happiness should be your first pirority.
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The Question
Ok me and my ex broke up last tuesday. yesterday me and him got into a big arguement and now he hates me. but now I miss him a lot and i dont know what to do anymore.. I dont want to miss him but its hard not to because hes my next door neighbor.... and yeah, so im lost. he has a new gf and not to sound concided but he went from a girl (me) who is rated about a 9 to a girl who is about a 4 or 5 and I picked on him for that but im just really jealous and i have to walk home with him every day!! HELP ME!! what do i do?! we used to argue everyday because i used to say he doesnt care but i realized he does!! omg im really confused!! please help and what can i do to get him back?!
Signed,
i miss him.
The Answer
I am sorry darling but I'm sure he had a good reason for going from a 9 to a 5.
On that note, comparing and teasing his new girlfriend is probably not a great way to win back his love and affection.
Take this lesson to heart, treat someone with love and respect and they will treat you the same way. Trust someone, and they will trust you.
Argue with someone, distrust them, and insult thier girlfriend and they probably wont like you much.
At this point, treat the ex with kindess and respect, you probably wont capture his heart, but you'll be a better person for it.
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The Question
Are people on here as stupid as they appear, or is all just an act?
The Answer
Take a normal person, add the complete annoynimity of the internet, and that normal person suddenly becomes a complete blathering idiot.
Check out this valuble visual aid:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040319l.jpg
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The Question
So I'll be dating my current boyfriend for three months a week from today. He's the first boyfriend I've had that I can honestly say I really loved. The problem? Things are just getting annoying and boring. When we first started dating, he would do all these cute things with me, like whenever I joke around and try to fall he'll run and catch me... just little things like that. But I'm starting to wonder if he takes everything too seriously. If we're arguing about something little, I'll joke around and say "Take it back or I'll fall over!" And he'll get this seriously sad look on his face and whimper "No..." He can never take a joke it seems and I'm starting to get annoyed with it. I guess I just want him to act more mature. After all he is 19 and he could be acting more mature than he has been lately. I don't really want to consider breaking up with him right now, so is there any other suggestions you have on fixing this first?
Signed, Annoyed But In Love
The Answer
Tell him you are annoyed.
People can't fix problems they don't know are there.
Chances are, based on your discription, he isn't completely happy either. So listen to what he has to say and consider your own behavoir as well.
You can try as many little signals and mind games as you like, but in the end, if you don't talk about it, you'll never really get anywhere.
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The Question
Right, what do you do if you were friends with this guy, and you really liked him as more than a friend, and then one day, with a little message-taking by your friend, he lets on that he wants to kiss you. Then you end up with him later on, kissing a lot.
Then its so awkward in the morning you text him and say that you hope it won't awkward because you're really glad you're mates... (Let's just say it took a lot of work to get your friendship going after a mishap earlier in the year)
And he totally agrees, he only wants to be mates so you say the same... and then when you next see him...and every time after that, it's so awkward you want to scream, and now you don't talk to each other.
In fact you each seem to pretend the other isn't there.
Do you:
Forget it and move on?
Get your friends to do a little talking in-between and find out whats his problem
Do you just one day walk up to him and pretend its all the same?
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO SOMEONE?
Every time I see him I tell myself I'll talk to him but every time I have NOTHING TO SAY!!!
Please help :S
The Answer
You stop worrying so much!
The awkwardness will probably pass with time. Until then, fight through it. Be friendly and courteous. Don't get all your friends involved they will only stir up trouble.
If you want to be mates. Be mates. Treat him like a friend. If you have nothing to say, don't say anything. Ignoring this problem will probably be the best way to let it fade away.
Stop dwelling on a past that you can’t do anything about.
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The Question
Ok, long story short, I fell in love with one of my best friend over the summer. Yes, I'm 13. Yes, I know you're about to tell me that this is mere infatuation rather than love. I'm just gonna spare you a 1 rating: It's not infatuation. I know love, and I know infatuation. And this is definitely love. I can feel it as right as 2+2 is 4. Anydangways, she knows very well how much I love her, but she still only likes me as a friend. Now that the school year's started again, our attitudes have sort of changed. We used to joke around all the time, but nowadays, we see each other in the halls, and either we just say "hi" or we stay silent or involved in our conversations. Personally, whenever I'm talking to my friends in the halls, and then I see her coming, I'm suddenly turn silent and I say something like "Yeah, I know, I'm weird." or "Yeah. That's it." Or something to end conversation and not embarass myself. Also, I've been hoping to see her: whenever I'm near where she lives and talking to someone about something, I think, "I'd better make this conversation a bit smarter in case she comes near. Just to be safe" or something like that. And I'm always trying to impress her. I don't know why, we're best friends, and she knows how much I love her. What's going on? Why do I just suddenly lose all my intelligence, self-respect, and logical reasoning, not to mention my will to do what I please, whenever I think about her? It's like in that manga D.N.Angel, whenever Daisuke thinks about Risa, he becomes Dark and loses control of his body. Sorry, I babble a lot. I'd better stop now. Please help me!
The Answer
All that is going on here is you are behaving like a typical human being. Actually, if I may say so, you are behaving more like a typical 21 year-old human being then a 13 year-old one.
So I'll spare you the 13 year-olds don't know what love is bullshit, but I will say this:
You will feel this way again.
You'll lose yourself in another person again. You'll be in love again.
You'll probably look back in a few years and laugh at yourself for the way you are behaving now,
and then go out and do it all over again.
As love grows and develops with between two people who feel the same, you no longer loose yourself in the love. You find the confidence and security in their love for you and can be true to yourself and let everything, even the weakness and stupidity shine through.
Aint none of us perfect. But we are all loved.
The desire to impress is normal, but it shouldn’t be the hallmark of love. If the object of your affections has thoroughly turned you down, it’s time to relax, take the time to get over it as best you can and go back to being yourself, and see who the real you attracts.
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The Question
Husband doesn't care about other relationships. Said not to "cross the line". But unable to be there until retirement... in 20 or more years. Promised kids not getting divorce. Hubbie says it's not an option anyway. Fell in love and have relationship with another man. What to do. How do I deal day to day?
The Answer
Why are you letting your husband call the shots? Why is it his decision that divorce is not an option? Why do you let him speak for you?
It's time to stand up for yourself and stop letting this man decide every little thing in your life, even the way you conduct your extra marital affair! Its mind boggling to me you would accept this arrangement. If you want a divorce and a chance with this other man, it is time to seize the opportunity.
As far as your day-to-day life you must know it will fall apart if it’s not already. The strain of this situation will take its toll on you, your children and your relationship and will bread even more arguments and anger then a divorce ever could.
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The Question
My fiance and I live together with our two children. We have decided to live in a small apartment for now while we are saving for a house. My mother had to move out of her house because of financial hardships about 2 years ago. When she moved, she told me that she would be going between my apartment and her boyfriends apartment until she got her own place. She now has her own place and she is still here. She sleeps on the sofa all the time. My stepmother keeps my kids a lot to give me and their father a break and she still stays here. What should I do?
The Answer
Be firm, this behavior is not appropriate and it is putting unnecessary strain on you and your family. Sit your mother down and explain to her that while you love her very much your apartment is very small and you would appreciate some more time alone. There is probably no way to do this without offending her a little, so be prepared for her unhappiness and arguments. If you really want this situation to change though, you’ll have to remain firm.
Have set times when it is okay for her to visit. Say, Wednesday night is family dinner night and we’d love you to come, or we are all seeing a movie on Saturday please wont you join us.
Your mother is probably just lonely. Encourage her to meet other people her age or pick up a hobby.
You really will have to put your foot down and be prepared for your mothers hurt. She will feel rejected and probably unloved. With regular and clear invitations, phone calls and plans you can let her know she is still included and loved by your family without encouraging her to move in with you.
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The Question
My friend asked this guy what he thought aboout me, and he wouldn't answer her, he just tried to get away from her.
Does this mean he doesn't like me?
The Answer
It could also mean he just doesn't like your friend.
Who can blame him really. I hate it when people only try to communicate through thier friends just so they wont get hurt or embaressed.
Suck it up.
If you like him talk to him yourself, it is the only way you'll ever know for sure.
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The Question
i asked a question similar to this before..but i didn't get the answers i was looking for.
i asked how to politely turn i guy down when he asks you to a dance.
my ring dance is in april and i know its a while away, but when someone asks me to be their date and i don't want to be..how can i turn them down?
is there some unwritten rule that you have to accept the first person who asks you?
The Answer
"No Thank You." Works wonders here. You can try and be nicer about it. "I'm just not into you like that." or "I'm sorry I'm not interested."
But by far, the nicest way to turn someone down is to just do it. Don't sugar coat it or lead them on. Be friendly but straightforward.
That rule only exists if you are a whimp. Go for what you want, not just any guy that wants you.
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The Question
Sorry I didnt know which catagory to put this in.
I'm 15 (16 in a month) and I'm really interested in helping the starving children in Africa. Only I don't know how to get involved in this? Is there anything I can do to help these poor children?
Also, when I'm older (out of college) I want to travel to Africa to help these children (note: this is not a new-found passion, I've wanted to help since 8th grade but I havent known how to help) is there any way I could get there like any group to join? I'm not sure how I could go about with that but I really want to go to help for a year of my life.
Thanks for any help!
The Answer
Look into local groups and maybe start a school charity of your own. It's good for highschool students to stick to the local level of fundraising because that is where you are the most effective.
If your interest praticularly in children in Africa I'd definately check out http://www.oafrica.org/ I've met a few people who voluntereed through them and it is something I hope to do when I graduate.
Good luck!
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The Question
okay this is what my friend sent me.
her: okay well like the bad thing is he doesnt like how your a preppy n wear abercrombie
her: LIke TO Much of it
me: okay
her: he liked how you wear pac sun.. and how u are nice.. and all that little stuff... and like yeah i asked him all this ... n than at the end i said would u ever go out with her and he was like if she was not that weird and wasnt a prep and yeah then we talked and were like yeah yup yeah
and i really like this guy, shoudl i clean my act up because my aprents thing abercrombie is rediculous and everything. so they refuse to buy it
and i love pac sun also... but some of the things i bought like are WAY too see thought... so yeah im going to act my self and yeah is that a good idea?
ps im not doing this to get him to ask me out
The Answer
Alright, this guy is considering going out with your or not going out with you based on what you WEAR?
Have I really got that right? Cause that is insane. What a jerk.
His opinion doesn't matter at all just wear what *you* want. Don't let a silly little boy give you fashion tips.
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The Question
I tryd telling my parents i needed to go to a hospital and get help and they made me go to my theripist and my theripist said w.e the hospital can do they can do but they dont understand! im trying to get help and they wont listen! I just cut myself with scisors and if i dont get help its gona get worse! WHY WONT THEY LISTEN TO ME!
The Answer
Because hospitals are not equipped to help people who cut. That is not their function. Therapists, crisis centers and some other live-in centers are equipped to help you far better. Unless you a bleeding to death right at this moment, the hospital is not there to help you. No one there will be interested in talking to you because hospitals primary interest is not in your mental health but your physical
Talk to your therapist. They are concerned with your mental health and they are the one who is capable of making recommendations about your care.
Don’t get obsessed with going to hospital to fix yourself. There are not quick fixes to your problems; you will have to work hard, talk and listen to your therapist in order to improve.
If you are in crisis right at one moment try calling a suicide help line or kids help phone.
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The Question
What could be causing blood while urination and pain?
The Answer
Sounds like a urinary tract infection or kidney infection. Get it checked out by a doctor right away. There are simple medications to cure it but it will only get more painful if you leave it.
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The Question
Does anyone know any attractions/fun things to do for a group of about 10 13and14 year old girls to do in Niagra Falls? I'm on the attractions/fun things to do committee of my girl scout troop and I dont know what to do!
The Answer
Spend most of your time on the Canadian side (if not all of it) The view is better and there is waaay more too do.
There is the maid of the mist where you can take a boat ride right up near the falls. The Maid of the Mist runs untill October. You can also walk underneth and behind the falls and that is open all year round.
There the Skylon tower which has a really nice observation deck and the Butterfly Conservatory with hundreds and hundreds of butterflys flying all around you.
Those are my favorite things to do. There is also a lot of shopping and pretty gardens if you walk along right by the falls.
Hope you all have fun!
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The Question
14/F i am really confused rite now i have this boyfriend who is id say about 3 years older than me [ 17 ] hes a senior im a freshman & hes not a virgin and whatnot and i am . . we`ve been goin out for almost 5 months and hes starting to hint around that he mite want to mess around or somethin and the whole idea really makes me nervous considering hes my first real relationship & considering hes had more experiance than me and i am absolutly clueless . . hes never asked anythin be4 and im afraid that if maybe i dont do anything he mite break up with me . ? or something but i think its more of the fact that im nervous . what do you think i should do?
- confused & clueless
The Answer
If you feel he might break up with you because you don't wish to have sex with him then you should DEFINATELY NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
Don't you want your first time to be with someone who loves you? Would someone who loves you dump you for not being ready to have sex?
This is not the kind of topic you should tiptoe around, and rely on hints and jokes to try and figure out his feelings. Ask him straight out what he wants and be ready to tell him exactly what you are ready for. If you are not ready, nothing he says should change your mind. This is not about him, or even you as a couple, it is about you and only you. Take care of yourself first and foremost. If he dumps you over this, consider yourself lucky.
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