Razhie


"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.


Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

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    The Question
    If you think you are pregnant .. when do you take a pregnancy test? In corralation to your period.

    The Answer
    Most pregnancy tests you buy at the pharmacy claim to give accurate results 3 to 7 days after the first day of your missed period.

    The box will probably say right on it when the test becomes accurate, but nearly none of them will be accurate until your period is actually late.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    My band recently played a gig at a bar - we were there for four hours and were promised a minimum of $200.

    Some friends of the band were there, and they got into a fight (verbal) with the bartender, he got angry and kicked them out. Then waited for us to finish the song we were on, and he turned on the jukebox.

    We packed up our things and as we were packing up the last of it, one of the people that was kicked out, came back in to see if we needed any help with anything. The bartender started screaming at her, telling her to get out, when she started explaining herself (and to be fair, no one was acting really rationally at the time - except for maybe the band.) the bartender kept telling her to get out, and eventually grabbed her and tried to push her out. A guy with us got in the bartenders face about it - saying he shouldn't be pushing her around - and yeah. One of our band members broke it up and got the people to leave.

    After we got what we believed was all of our things, the band member which got us the gig went in to get the money. We heard the bartender start yelling at him - and it sounded like it was getting very heated - so myself and the other member went in to make sure we had all of our things, since it didn't seem likely that we'd be able to return anymore. As soon as we stepped in the door, he yelled at us and told us to get out. I left right away but the other guy kept going in, eventually all of the band members came out - but we recieved no money for our gig.

    When we went there, one person gave the bartender his credit card to start a tab on - and he intended to pay it with the money that he recieved from the gig. We believe that he still may have charged the credit card for the drinks - so we really want our money so we're not in the hole for all of the drinks that were had.

    What i'm wondering - is there any form of action that we can take (We're going to talk to the owner again tomorrow and try to settle it when everyone has calmed down) to get our money? Or at the very least to have the credit card bill dropped?

    The Answer
    I hope your talks went a bit better in the morning after people had cooled down.

    If he did charge the credit card and refuses to pay you go ahead and file a claim against him in small claims court. You might not win because you have no contract, but most states recognize the validity of a verbal contract when a service is rendered and then, if he denies agreeing to pay you, it comes down to the judge's belief on what the verbal agreement was and on the correct price for the service rendered.

    But if he didn't charge the credit card, I would just let it slide, call it a breakeven situation and move on with your lives (and maybe learn from this experience and don't invite dumb people to your gigs. People who get into fights with bartenders, no mater how surly, and then come back to said bar, no matter what the reason, are not really smart people or particularly good friends, they got you all into a heap of needless trouble. I hope you call on their lousy behavior, the bartender might not have been in the right, but that doesn't make their choices any more sensible.)
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Does anyone know where I could read a script / transcript of the movie "Hard Candy"?

    I've been looking all through google and other search engines but I can't find it anywhere.

    Thank you very much! Any help would be VERY appreciated!!

    The Answer
    Honestly hun I don't think you are going to find the script online. First off, because nearly no studios give permission for their screenplays to be reproduced online, and secondly because Hard Candy isn't popular enough for anyone to bother making any sort of bootleg or transcript.

    Anyways, both the director and screenwriter are new to feature films and don't seem have their own websites, so I would think the best thing to do if you want to get your hands on the screenplay is to check out Lionsgate.com (They are the distributors of Hard Candy) to find someone to e-mail and request a copy, or you could ask the people at their forum for Hard Candy: http://forums.lionsgate.com/forumdisplay.php?f=80

    Worse come to worse though, I think it's scheduled for a September DVD release. Not too long to wait. Good Luck.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    My boyfriend and I have to be separated for the next year because he had to move back to England. I love him to death, so we've committed to a long-distance relationship. This has worked out perfectly for the past five months because we are both so dedicated to each other, and I will be moving to England to join him next year.

    The problem is that we want to keep up with our sex life, and we're perfectly fine with doing it over the internet and all, but I haven't any privacy at my house. I live with five other people and have a shared computer (which is kept in the dining room), so it makes it difficult for me to be comfortable. I'm always paranoid that one of them will wake up and walk in on me. I can't do it over the phone because it's much too expensive.

    I just need to know if you have any alternative ideas. Other than this, our relationship is nearly perfect. I refuse to give up just because there's a little difficulty; he's the man for me.

    So any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

    The Answer
    Not having any privacy is certainly a mood killer, the best way by far would be to look into buying a computer of your own (or even renting a laptop for the time you need it). I imagine you've already considered those and nixed them for some reason or another so...

    You might try writing erotica for one another rather then cybering. Writing a whole erotic story, or taking turns, each adding a paragraph or two a day, might be some fantastic fun. It doesn't allow for the same immediate gratification but it can be way more creative and let you two explore your fantasies and ideas in much greater detail.

    If you are an adult living with other adults you might also just want to be honest with your housemates about what you are doing. They would probably be understanding and you could develop some sort of Do-Not-Disturb sign so you can be guaranteed privacy.

    Good Luck.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    ok. i have 2 best friends who i've been inseperable from since like 4th grade (one of them though since like kindergarten). and now i'm going into highschool. we're always together, (most of the time lol) i can tell them anything, we have so many laughs and fun times together, and i can totally be myself around them, which is great because i'm really shy. but last year, well technically still this year..lol 8th grade.. the one who i haven't been friends with since kindergarten..lets call her Jen. well Jen has been occasionally telling me some stuff about the other friend "Rachel" about how she annoys her sometimes, and stuff like that. ok so i was just talking to my friend Jen online. and this is sort of what she tells me:

    she was like: no offense because i know you are really good friends with Rachel but i really dont like hanging out with her. then she gives me all these reasons why. she also telling me that she thinks Rachel has become conceited, and gave me a reason. "she just like acts immature sometimes and tries to be funny when she's not" thats also something she said. "like I'll be her friend and everything.but i definitely don't want to hang out with her a lot in highschool"

    so my question is. do you think it is right of her to say this? we're supposed to be BEST FRIENDS, yet she's saying all this shit behind Rachel's back. i don't want our friendship to just die, i mean i have the greatest times with these two girls. high school will be a huge change and we'll make new friends and everything but i don't want it to completely tear apart our friendship. idk i just can't believe she's saying this because i feel like i have the best times when all 3 of us are together and now if Jen doesn't want to hang out with Rachel it will never be the same. what should i do/say to her? do you think it was right of her to say this? if you want the reasons of why Jen said what she said then give me your email and i'll tell you. thank you.

    The Answer
    I wouldn't say that talking nonesense behind another persons back is ever the 'right' thing to do, but if that is the way Jen feels you are just going to need to deal with it.

    You can't force someone to be friends with you and you can't hold a group of three bestfriends togeather if one of those bestfriends want out.

    If you still like Rachel and consider them both your friends you could certainly tell Jen you aren't interested in hearing the bad things she has to say about Rachel, but that is about all you can do.

    You can continue to invite them both to hang out with you, but it might not be as much fun for anyone anymore amd nothing you do or say to Jen will makes things like they were before.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I am 5 months pregnant and I was wondering if it is ok for me to have sex ? is there and consequences to having sex while pregnant or any advantages to having sex .

    The Answer
    A simple google search will give you all the information on this that you could stand.

    Yes, as long as you have a normal healthy pregnancy you can have sex. There are no real advantages or disadvantages to having sex while pregnant. It's just sex, a little differently.

    Check this out for more: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/pregnancysex/390.html
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Well, i'd like to say that I am not sexually active, never had sex EVER, and that I don't use tampons.

    Well, last night i was getting into bet and i was stretching, and there was a pain like, between my vagina and the whole i poop out of. i touched it [not directly], and it hurt everytime i touched it. Now, it doesnt hurt but everynow and then it does. The thing is i cant really look because it hurts too much to bend so i can!

    what is it, and how can i stop it WITHOUT going to a doctor?

    The Answer
    You know, I don't think many people could bend that far without it hurting a bit. Hand mirrors however, are wonderful inventions.

    The only way to stop this pain without seeing a doctor would be to cross your fingers and hope it goes away. Who knows, it just might. Or it might get worse. Whatever.

    The skin between the vagina and anus, or the penis and anus as the case may be, is called the perineum. There are a lot of small muscles back there and they can tear (and often do tear during childbirth, but can tear at other times too). If these muscles have been torn they will need to be repaired by a doctor or you will continue to be in pain, if they have merely been stretched or pulled the pain should fade with time.

    Of course, there are other things that might be causing this pain, tumors and the like. I'm no Doctor. I can't know for sure.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    usually schools have a summer reading list. but i have a summer report. i am doing it on hugh hefner and i was wondering...

    does playboy.com give popups like other pron sites.

    The Answer
    Darling if you think playboy is equal to porn you might want to consider doing your report on someone else.

    To actually answer your question: No. Playboy.com doesn't spam your computer with popups. Sometimes when you click on something it opens in a new window but I surfed the site for a bit and didn't get a single popup, lots of topless women, no popups.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Can somebody please list any way you can think of to prevent throwing up and stomach aches?

    The Answer
    Medicine: Gravol, Pepto-Bismol, no-name travel tabs, really anything on the market should help. Try a few and figure out which one addresses your problem. I have some real trouble with motion sickness and I use Gravol to keep my stomach calm.

    Another odd trick to stop vomiting is to spit. Sounds weird but I'll explain. When your body is preparing to vomit it creates extra saliva to protect your throat and mouth from the stomach acid and bile, a lot of people find if they spit this extra saliva out or even just swallow it, they can stave off vomiting. Doesn't work for everyone, but is worth a try.

    Lastly, watch what you eat. Somethings are harder to digest then other things. Figure out what makes you sick, and don't be dumb about it. If you are feeling ill, don't have a bowl of ice cream or a glass of milk, that wont make you feel better.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    The longer you are stressed, does it take longer for your period to come?

    Like if I was late and and I was stressed, the longer i am stressed, the longer it will take to come?

    The Answer
    If you are stressed your period can be delayed. There really isn't a fine science to it. Like most things everyone is unique. In some women prolonged stress might put a period off for weeks, in other women they just end up a bit late and others might be right on time but the cramps and PMS are much worse.

    Generally however stress shouldn’t delay a period by more then 2 weeks. If you are normally regular and you are over two weeks late, you should start investigating other causes and talking to a doctor.

    Seriously though if you are so stressed you are throwing off your cycle you really need to work on reducing your stress, and talking to a doctor can be a great start for that.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    what are some ways to get an amazing orgasm without the use of another person or a vibrator? p.s-im a girl. = )

    The Answer
    There are certainly ways, however I doubt anyone here will explain them to you in detail. Sexually explicit answers aren’t encouraged for obvious reasons. But check out this site for some ideas on female masturbation techniques: http://www.coolnurse.com/masturbation_howto.htm

    Experiment, stick with it, and find out what works for you.

    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I was browsing people's columns today and looking at the feedback I saw one that was rated a 1 and the person wrote your wrong he aint a pedophile your a bitch or something along those lines. I read what was wrote to her and she answered the question being asked very good. Why do people rate you a 1? I can understand if it is BAD advice, but when you ask for advice and rate a 1 most of the time it's because its something that they just didnt want to hear. 5's and feedback coming your way if you give me your thoughts on this.

    The Answer
    There isn't really much of a discussion here. Rating a one for anything less then completely useless and/or harmful advice is ratings abuse and should be reported.

    Ironically, I know precisely which question you are talking about because I received a one for my response to that particular fool, and I didn't report her. Partly because I didn't feel like whining about a rating that I fully expected, and partly because I hoped that some of the other columnists might get ticked off and figure out how the damn abuse reports work! I mean she even called them names! But noooooo, no one can figure out how to fill out a damn form!

    Now the link to abuse report is right beside the rating, but guess what guys, that abuse form has ALWAYS EXISTED, for anyone who bothered to read the sidebar.

    Mmm, I'm sorry, I'm a little irritated with the world today. My point is, if you see ratings abuse feel free to report it right here: http://www.advicenators.com/abuse.php

    Point of Fact: Rating all fives is also ratings abuse!
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    i hate my mom. we fight constantly. and she bugs the crap out of me. she makes me take ADD pills so i dont eat as much. and i need them to help me pay attention in school. w/e not really. anyway i was like why shud i take them in the summer and she is like i think it helps ease out your temperment. which just makes me more mad. and then i was like wat if i dont take them. and she is like i think you will gain 5 pounds if you stop taking them in the summer and get headaches. also i like peanut butter. i hav peanut butter sandwiches for lunch like every day well not everyday but enough tht we need it. and then we ran out of peanut butter and i asked my mom if she cud buy some cause she wuz going shopping and she was like y dont we take a break from peanut butter we r going thru it too fast. she also grounds me for the dumbest reasons.
    i get grounded like all the time. like if i get in a fight with my bro or her or didnt do something for her like mop the floor cuase i forgot or didnt hav time.

    she is so annoying plz help. and also do any of u think my mom is acting normal? cause i think she is fucking BITCH!!!!!


    help me i rate 5's.

    The Answer
    Your mother is acting pretty normal mother of a teenage daughter: frantic, confrontational and at the end of her rope.

    You are acting like a pretty normal teenage daughter: Self involved and impatient.

    If continuing to take your pills will make you calmer and will keep you from getting headaches that is a pretty damn good reason to keep taking them. If you don’t want to take them you are going to have to come up with a better reason then “But I just don’t want to!”

    And honestly girl, would it kill you to try and have something else for lunch besides peanut butter? Or maybe buy it yourself? I mean a jar of peanut butter doesn’t cost 5$.

    If you don’t do your chores in a timely manner, you deserve to be punished. “I just didn’t get around to it” is not a valid excuse. Living with other people means cleaning up when it’s convenient for them too, not just when you feel like it. I used to think my mom was crazy for making me clean up when she wanted it done, rather then when I wanted to do it, but I now I live with four room mates and you know what, I hate it when they don’t do the chores when they are supposed to!

    I’m not saying your mom is perfect love, what I’m trying to point out is neither are you. Your actions are turning these fights into way bigger deals then they need to be. Simply being polite could stop a lot of them. You really need to learn how to discuss things with your mother, learn how to talk things through rationally. Surely you could come up with some logical reasons to buy peanut butter or try a while without your pills. You could definitely talk to your mother beforehand if you are busy and work out a time to mop that is more convenient for both of you.

    When you do things like call her a bitch, demand she does things like buy you peanut butter but at the same time just forget to do your chores or decide you are too busy to bother, you are taking your mother for granted and being mean to her. That doesn't make her feel like doing you any favors.

    Try being, very simply, a little bit nicer to your mother. Think about things that would make her life a bit easier instead of only things you want. Parents work hard for thier kids and don't enjoy punishing them! If you did one small thing each day to make her life easier, I would bet you'd find her way more willing to listen to you, because she would know that you weren't only thinking of yourself.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    will you know when you break your hymen? or will it just kinda happen? Im not sexually active so I wanted to know in advance.

    The Answer
    You might not know when your hymen breaks. Women are very active these days and quite a few women break their hymen while playing sports and might notice a bit of blood on their underwear and not think anything of it.

    It can also be broken by a tampon or during masturbation, although that is a bit less likely.

    You can ask your doctor or gyno during a physical if it looks like you've broken your hymen or not, they can often tell. Otherwise, you probably won't know for sure until you try having sex.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I was going pee and I saw a spot on my penis and it feels like a little pebble in is my penis what is it?

    The Answer
    It is, without a shadow of a doubt, something you should have a doctor look at.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Hi. I've never had an orgasm. I mastubate and am with a steady bf. He's my 4th bf. I reckon if reaching orgasm is 10 then I can probably get to a 9 but never reach a 10! Its very anoyying. I don't like vibrators, they don't turn me on, I usually use a pillow, that is the most effective. I love my clitoris to be stimulated! But I never come! Why not? I'm mature enough, and feel safe in my relationship. What can I do?

    The Answer
    There are a few possibilities here:

    1.) You aren't orgasming because of some physiological reason. The orgasm isn't so much a physical response as it's a physiological response. Experiment and do not give up! Keep stimulating yourself, in a variety of ways, until your wrist is sore and don't stop until it is uncomfortable. Not until you no longer enjoy it, because you might go through bursts while masturbating where it isn't really enjoyable. Keep going through these phases; do not stop until the stimulation is actually physically unpleasant. Remember the way you are thinking has a huge impact on your ability to orgasm, if you think "I'll never do this," or "this is a waste of time” you wont orgasm.

    2.) Option number two is that you aren't orgasming because of some physical reason. Discuss the problem with your gyno. I'll add that this is rather unlikely and it's more likely that the problem is in your head, not your vagina, but it's worth looking into, just in case.

    3.) Your standards are too high. What you call a nine might actually be an orgasm and you are simply being brainwashed by movies and erotica to believe that an orgasm is more then it is. (I know this might sound ridiculous, but please don't dismiss it out of hand. I believe this is probably your problem.)

    Some women do orgasm, but don't know it. They think that what is happening to them is too tame to be an orgasm. It is important to concentrate on what you ARE feeling not what you aren’t. No matter if you are having an orgasm or not it is imperative that you stop comparing what you do feel to what you imagine you should feel. You are pressuring your body into conforming to a fantasy and anytime a person does that they are destined for disappointment.

    Whatever you do, make sure to keep it fun and relaxed. Banish the annoyance and frustration you are experiencing. Focus on the sensation and feelings you do have. Make the goal of sex to enjoy yourself and feel good. Don’t worry about the anticipated orgasm. Stay upbeat and open-minded and it will happen when it happens, when it doesn’t, make sure you are having a good time anyways.

    Good Luck hun.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    My friend broke up with her bf just a few hours ago. She wanted him to be in tears, but he was happy. So she got revenge on him, and asked out this guy she knew would say yes! I felt horrible for the ex bf. I really want to call her new bf and tell him to break up with her, but I know that the new bf will tell her what I said and she'll get in a fight with me. I really don't want to fight with her because i'm the type of person who goes crazy when somebody is mad at me! Please tell me what I should do!


    Thanks

    The Answer
    Your friend’s ex-boyfriend is happy she is gone.

    She is a vicious idiot who needs her ex-boyfriend to feel crappy in order to feel good about herself.

    So her ex-boyfriend is probably right to be happy the relationship is over. Her going out with some other guy isn't going to change the fact she is no good, if anything it will make him feel even more sure of the break-up.

    Your friend is a moron who has gotten herself into another drama filled relationship in less then day. She will reap what she sows.

    I don't know why you'd be worried so much about her feelings; she obviously has very little regard for anyone else's. But if you really don't want her to be angry with you, then just keep your mouth shut.

    But don't you dare forget that your 'friend' likes play with people’s feelings. Sooner or later, she will try to play with yours and if you really can’t deal with people being mad at you, even when those people are being stupid and cruel, then she will walk all over you just like she is doing to these guys.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Two weeks ago I got into a fight with a man that was a close friend of mine. The fight was over msn messanger. I told him I would never have an affair with a married man but that I still wanted to be his friend. Now he wants nothing to do with me and has even blocked me off his contact list. It hurts so bad because he had been a friend of mine for the last 4 years- I was beginning to think that he was hoping I would have an affair with him because he isnt happy in his marriage- I would only ever be intimate with him IF he left his wife. I can't believe what a jerk he is being- It's kind of stupid to end a four year friendship over that. Does anyone have any advice for how I can feel better? And don't you think he is being a jerk?

    The Answer
    If you assumed he would want to cheat on his wife without him blatantly saying so, I don’t think it’s surprising that he is upset with you. Unless he told you point blank he was interested in having an affair with you, the assumption that that was what he was after is rather insulting.

    If he did tell you he wanted to sleep with you and you rejected him, well then yes, he is being a jerk.

    However, this jerky behavior is the perfect reason to end a four year friendship. If he propositioned you while he was married, I’d certainly end the friendship. I would have no desire to be friends with someone who thought cheating was okay, or even worse, that I would help them do it.

    If you made an assumption about his intent to cheat with you, I think you owe him an apology. Without solid proof (as in him saying the words “Come over and sex me up” or the equivalent) then your assumption was hurtful and insulting and I think a good friend ought to have offered him understanding and helped him talk through his conflicted feelings about his wife, not accuse of him infidelity. However, if you have that proof then I would let the friendship die. Someone that disloyal doesn’t make a good friend anyways.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    hello! i hope someone can help me..

    ok, last april 30 and may 1, my boyfriend and i had dry sex. there was no penetration because i was wearing my undies. but accidentally, mine and his had contact but it was very quick and no penetration.

    i'm not sure if i have irregular period. i got my period last may 15.

    the problem is that, i haven't gotten my period up to this day, june 23. is it possible that i am pregnant? please help. i've read that some women still have their period even they're pregnant.. thank you so much..

    The Answer
    It is ridiculously unlikely that you are pregnant. Although I would never say impossible when there is sexual activity of any kind the odds of you getting pregnant through your underwear are probably about a trillion to one.

    You are right; women can be pregnant and still experience a period. But it's a moot point because you haven't had your period and its damn near impossible that you may be pregnant.

    Stress and anxiety can make your period later, so for goodness sake calm down and stop worrying yourself. If you feel you really need to know, buy a home pregnancy test to reassure yourself, it's been long enough now that the results will be accurate.

    Sexual activity is always risky, if the a risk as absurdly small as dry sex through your underwear is going to make you sick and scared like this then I have to say I don’t think you are ready to be engaging in sexual acts.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I wear a lot of black clothing. In fact, I'm almost always in black. I'm not attempting to be goth or anything; I simply like the colour in clothes and I feel it suits me. Occasionally I'll wear colours but for the most part I wear black. Ever since this though, I've copped a lot of critisism from people. So many people have asked me why I wear so much black. A couple of guys have said they'd like me better if I didn't wear so much black. One "friend" of mine even went so far to tell me I don't look good in it and to stop wearing it!

    I just can't understand it. Why is it such a big deal? I'm a happy person, and am not goth at all. I just like black clothes. What should I do?

    The Answer
    You should stop worrying so much about what people say to you about your clothing.

    Honestly, why is this bothering you? Do you really want a boy to like you because you wear pink? Does it really matter if your friends think you'd look better in violet? Maybe you would look best in orange! But if you don't want to wear it it doesn't matter what you look 'best' in.

    You should stop wasting your mental energy on this. Next time someone shares their feelings on your clothing, don't get defensive, just tell them you don't much care what they think.
    (View All Other Answers.)




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