"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.

Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

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    The Question
    okay well it's kinda complicated but i'll try to explain the important facts. the guy i am with is the MOST wonderful guy, and i mean it. we will be getting married soon, and i really want that more than anything. today people brought up some things he's done in the past, before i knew him. nothing horrible, but they were tryna tell me that he is a bad guy. and it was one of his ex's also, but i don't know if i should listen to her bout it. anywayz, i don't want to talk to him bout the things cuz it was in his past, before we met, and i don't think i have should inquire bout it cuz it was before i knew him. and yesterday he found out that one of his ex's is getting married, and he really had a thing for her, so it brought up past memories for him, and he said "please don't ever run out on me" and i told him i wouldn't. and i meant it. but what should i do about the things people have been telling me? should i ask him bout it or just leave it? thank you

    The Answer
    If the things you are hearing are things that could crop up again in your life together then you should certainly inquire about them. These are things like abuse, addiction, family illness or feuds. These things might be in the past, but are no small matters, and their effects can be felt for decades.

    It’s also very important to know how your partner perceives those sorts of issues. For instance: If someone says “Yeah I used to drink until I passed out every night, but I never really had a problem.” or “Yeah, I cheated on my last three girlfriends, but it’s just because they were so cold to me.” then you know they don’t really understand or appreciate what happened actually happened or how responsible they are for it.

    Failing to appreciate and learn from one’s mistakes is the sort of thing that should set off warning bells in your mind. Everyone makes mistakes; it is the people who are incapable of learning or changing that you need to be wary off.

    There is no good reason for you not to ask about things that might come back to haunt him: If you are marrying him, they will haunt you too.

    Now if his ex and such are just nitpicking about “Oh well, this one night he got really drunk and made a racist comment to my granddad.” Meh, just ignore their meddlesome nattering. But if what they have to say leaves you worried and with questions for your boyfriend, ask those questions now! Not after you’ve sworn to be with him forever.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    okay so im 15 now and i went out with my first Real boyfriend. I am an attractive girl and really sweet/caring. well this is how the relationship started: 2 months ago he had a relationship with another girl and me. he was with her first but he left her for me and told me he wouldnt cheat on me again. i forgave him.. Recently i broke up with him because i thought he was playin me :(. but he wasnt and he told me he would never do anything to hurt me and he wanted me back and he wants me to trust him (he knows i have issues with that)..but i chose to not be with him i jus need some time to think cause there are so many rumors. i want him but then again i dont. im so confused. because i daydream all day about this boy. and we havent be going out for long..its probably jus an infactuation...ughhhhhhhh
    but he says he hates not being with me...

    The Answer
    Go with your gut dear. Your gut is saying even if this guy is being straight with you (not likely) he isn't worth all the drama, doubt and rumors.

    You don't have 'trust issues' if this guy really can't be trusted not to cheat! It doesn't matter if he was or wasn't playing you this time: it's pretty clear you CAN'T trust him. Maybe he will be true to you now, but if you can't believe that then you can't be with him.

    There is nothing wrong with you if you can't believe him! You have absolutely no reason to have faith in him: he cheated and was flakey enough to cause you doubt agian. He has not earned your trust.

    You can fogive him for the past, and still decide you can't really trust him and don't want to be with him.

    Just trust listen to your head and not your heart or any desperate thing he says.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    ok so i've been dating this guy for a while and my mom and his dad (both single parents) met and they just told us that they are going to get married! i really love this kid and my mom is completely disregarding my feelings. what can i do? do i have to stop dating him?

    The Answer
    Who is disregarding whose feelings dear?

    Your mother has found someone she wishes to swear eternal love and fidelity too and spend the rest of her life with. You've been dating this guy for a while. Sorry babe, I’m going to have to side with the adult women who is ready to make a life-time commitment here.

    Would you really deny her the love of her life simply so your teenage romance is a little simpler? Would you expect her to give up on her happiness just because it makes you uncomfortable? I hope not.

    Do you need stop dating him? No, you don't have too but you probably should. A break-up underneath the same roof would be challenging at the very least, and frankly, would you want to explain to people that you were dating your step-brother? You certainly could keep dating him though, just know it’s going to be tricky and complex, but stranger things have happened.

    I promise you, if you can take a deep breath, discuss this rationally with your mother and try to appreciate her feelings as well, in six months time this will not seem like nearly the crisis it seems now.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question

    My parents are going to let me choose any camera I want as a Christmas present. They do not think I know and are excited to tell me. The thing is, the type of camera that I want is at least one to two thousand dollars. I am really into photography and already have a semi-broken camera.

    I always hear my parents complain about money problems and I feel would feel extremely guilty about getting such a large gift. My dad just got a $25 000 bonus this year at work, but I do not think the money should be spent on me.

    How can I tell my parents that I appreciate it but I do not need the camera (no matter how much I want it). I do not want to hurt their feelings.

    Thank you

    The Answer
    The very best way to soften to blow would be to have another idea on hand that is a reasonable price, so instead of saying "Oh no I can't let you spend that much!" you are saying "Wow, thanks so much guys, but all I really want right now is ____."

    Their whole idea about offering you a camera is that it is something you will love and get you excited about. If you can just genuinely convince them that, although it's a great idea they came up with, there is something else you really want that should be just find by them.

    I do want to add that hearing adults talk about budgets and limits on money doesn't mean there are money 'problems'. There will never be enough money in most people's lives to do everything they want to do. People prioritize. Your parents might have decided that your interest in photography is a top priority for them and very comfortable with their decision to give you this gift. Even better then suggesting something else, you might want to talk to your parents about your concerns and feelings.

    Another, sort of in-between approach, is that when they bring this up you feel them out on how much they expect to spend on the camera of your choice. If they say they expect it to cost about $1500 maybe you could arrange to pay or work off the difference on your dream camera.

    Just some thoughts for you.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    Alright... so my boyfriend and I have been have been having intercourse for like 4 months now. I was his first ever. The first time we did it, he didn't come. Isn't that unusual for a first time guy?! And lately when we do it, he is hard when he goes in, and then he gets soft inside of me and he cant get it back up. And I feel nothing really... no pleasure at all. What does that mean? Another thing that is bugging me is when I want to please him (orally) because i want to please him, he usually stops me and says that he is happy just being with me and he says he doesn't need for me to finish him. Honestly, what guy would not want that?! He is always giving and not receiving (even though i want to give). I was just asking if there are any really good tips you know that would arouse him, or make him have greater interest in doing it. Both of my issues that I am having are confusing and I have no idea what the problem is! Please help!!

    The Answer
    Just a note dear, There is a rule against repeating questions: http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?f=3

    If you are going to ask a question to both individual columnists and to the pool at least reword it a bit so you don't get yourself reported and banned.

    Now on to your question:

    I could give some tips on what to do, but nothing you do right now is going to solve the problem.

    Your boyfriend is having a problem, either mentally or physically, it is resulting is erectile dysfunction. He is deeply embarrassed by it, and that is why he avoids things like letting you try and ‘finish him’ orally, but it's not the kind of thing you two can just work through. You can't solve it just by being sexier. If he is having erectile dysfunction it wouldn't matter if you were the most attractive women on earth, he wouldn't be able to stay hard. It has nothing to do with you; it's his body that is holding him back.

    There are two really important things for you to do here. The first, is don't blame yourself. Stop thinking that this is something you can fix, because it's not. Secondly, understand how totally embarrassing and confusing this must be for your boyfriend. Young guys don’t expect to have this problem, although they certainly can.

    As far as sex is concerned, if you really want to find out how and if he orgasms you’ll have to become comfortable talking to him about his masturbation habits. Even people who have a sexual dysfunction tend to be able to masturbate to a climax. Talking to him about what he does to pleasure himself, might give you some tips on what positions, speeds and approaches to take when you are pleasuring him. Next, stop thinking that an orgasm is the end all and be all. If he does orgasm, that is wonderful, but stop putting so much emphasis on it in your sex life. Relax a bit and instead of worrying about him having an orgasm, think about how you can make it as pleasurable as possible. Try not mentioning orgasms during sex at all. You can have serious discussions about the problem later, but during sex stay positive and focus on the pleasure of the moment.

    Lastly, encourage him to see a doctor. All the other things I just mentioned will make your sex life happier, healthy and less distressing, but they will not fix the problem and they probably won’t result in him having an orgasm with you. He needs a doctor to have this problem address. Remember that he is more embarrassed over this then you can possibly imagine. He is not going to want to see a doctor, but gently encourage him and remind him, nothing will really get better until he does.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    I've been thinking about it a lot... and i've been dating this guy for over a month now and he's always saying, "we'll figure it out or 'we'll' do this and 'we'll' do that" Does the fact that he includes "we" mean that he wants to take it to the next level or at least sees us as a couple?? When I told him that this other guy was bothering me to go out with him he said that I should tell that other guy that I'm seeing someone... does that mean that "we're" a something since he's being kind of showing ownership of me? erghh why are guys so confusing X_X

    The Answer
    Guys are so confusing cause girls refuse to straight up ask them what they mean!

    Maybe he is slipping into the 'couple' mode, or maybe he is just possesive and wishes to have ownsership over you without allowing you to have any say in his life.

    We is just a pronoun, like they or she. How else is he going to say "We will go to a movie".

    "You and I will go to the movie."
    "I am taking you to a movie."

    Nah. 'We' is just the easiest pronoun to use. It's lazy language, so don't read into it so deep.

    If you think he is starting to see you as a couple for whatever reason, talk to him about it. You will never find out his intentions or perceptions any other way.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    This is my 3rd and hopefully final sick question.
    Okay, so Tuesday I left school around 9 because I felt sick. I didn't get sick but I started to feel much better around 11ish. Around 5ish I went to Target to pick up some ginger ale and to get some fresh air. Probably a bad move on my part. I got a stomach ache, but not a bad one. The following morning I felt sick, stayed home from school, got sick around 7:45 was fine by 8"30. Lost the sick feeling by 11ish again. I had one last thing to pick up so I went to target again but this time around 4. I returned home around 5. Ate some crackers and the queasy feeling came back. Why am I giving you these details? My question is - how come from waking up-11ish I feel like crap, but after that I start to feel fine. And I'm sure the reason I get queasy later is because I've gone out.
    I don't think I'm contagious because I've been around people and none of them have gotten sick (then again, you never know). So right now I'm wondering, is there any reason why this may be happening. I know it's probably just your assumptions, but it's nice to know. I know that vomiting/fever/runny nose etc is going around and when my mom had it monday night-tuesday afternoon she had talked to her doctor and the doctor said to let it run its course. But I'm kind of weirded out that between 11-probably 4ish I feel fine but any other time I feel icky. Also that when I sleep I don't wake up until my sisters alarm clock goes off around 5:30.

    So does anyone have any ideas why this is going on. Or is this something that only a doctor can answer. I'm looking for experiences or something, not necessarily why, but possibilities.

    Also, I know I'll probably end up vomiting it up, but I'm REALLY thirsty. So I've been drinking some ginger ale and at this point I don't care if it comes back up. Is that a bad thing? And once the ginger ale is gone (I have about half a water bottle full) Is water the next best thing?

    I know this is my 3rd question on the subject, but it's really starting to weird me out. Thanks to those who answer and who have answered the previous 2.

    The Answer
    If you are truly worried dear then yes, go see a doctor, but honestly it doesn't sound odd to me at all that at some point during the day, when you are relaxed and comfortable you start to feel better, and then after a bit of activity you get tired and the cold takes hold again.

    Just keep the liquids coming. I think gingerale is great, I also find it really easy to drink gingerale mixed with cranberry juice. It's very good for you and uber easy for your body to absorb (cranberries also contain something that is known to fight off some bacterial infections, though I can't remember what it is called off the top of my head.) Personally, I find plain cold water hard to keep down. Tea is better in my opinion, but that is probably personal preference.

    Just don't push yourself hun, if you are still vomiting without improvement in a day or so, or if you get any worse, then absolutely go see a doctor. But for now it just sounds to me like you might need to take it a bit easier and not tire yourself out just because you feel pretty good for a few hours.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    My dear boyfriend and I have been starting to get into s&m recently. Last night he tells me to open my mouth and shut my eyes and then HE SPITS IN MY MOUTH! Luckily I caught it before it got in my mouth. I washed my faced while letting off a string of expletives. He apologized. We finished having sex. He apologized some more. I kept bringing it up and he kept apologizing.

    Recently I have been putting unnecessary guilt trips on him and now I notice and trying to stop. Which brings me to my question, how does one politely tell their partner that now they are revolted by the idea of sex with them due to an action they apologized for and said they never would do again (and agreed that if they do said action again, castration would even be reasonable)?

    The Answer
    Honey, get over it.

    Seriously. Call me a bitch if you will but your boy did something spontaneous in bed. Spontaneity is a really good thing! Do you know how many people in this world have to BEG their partner to mix things up a bit and take some risks? He just happened to be waaaay off base on this particular action.

    So he made a mistake, but to be revolted by the idea of sex with him because of it? That is your problem and your mistake. It is also overreacting big time. It's not as though you have never had your boyfriend's saliva in your mouth before.

    I know what you are thinking right now: �¢??But that�¢??s the way I FEEL! You can't tell me my feelings are wrong." No, I'm not telling you the feelings are wrong, I'm telling you they are very harmful to the relationship and have no valid basis in reality. Responding to them by withholding sex is the wrong way to deal with your annoyance with your boyfriend. He has apologized and recognized his mistake. The right way to deal with these lingering feelings is to ignore them and get over it.

    That is lesson number two in not using guilt to control and micro-manage your lover: get over yourself and ignore feelings that you have that are irrational and unforgiving of your partner. Refusing to have sex with him over that incident at this point would be petty, controlling and merciless of you.

    If you two have are exploring your sex life sooner or later you are going to make a mistake as well. Think for a second how you feel if you were in your boyfriend's position and he rejected you over it or called the idea of sex with you 'revolting'. It would be crushing.

    So don't mention your hesitance to your boyfriend and don't let your mind dwell on this anymore. Next time you two are starting to go at it, suggest something that you know you really like and focus on the good feelings.

    EDIT: I'm a little confuzzled hun. Everything in your feedback basically said my advice was bang on. This is something you seem to know you need to work on and my advice was all about how to not make this an issue... Not making it an issue is COMPLETELY up to you and what you choose to do with you emotions.
    I'm not suggesting you have sex when you aren't into it, I am suggesting you give it a shot and put a bit of effort into enjoying yourself.
    Dealing with issues, espcailly when they come down to your emotions, takes a bit a work and means also giving things a fair try. I'm not sure how you and your boyfriend could have started exploring your kinks without realizing that sometimes you push your reservations aside and just give things a shot. Sometimes you find something that really doesn't work for you (like spitting apparently) and that's okay, you just don't do that agian.
    I'm truly baffled that you seem to realize your reaction is neither fair nor completely justified but are still so displeased with my advice. I can only assume you really take issue with my tone and delivery. I hope you'll listen to my advice despite your 'entirely too emotional' responses and try to take control of your own emotions. Good luck.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    i had to go out of sate due to a death in my family for about a month, my boyfriend has been asking odd could he be cheating

    The Answer
    Of course he could be cheating. He could also be a mobster. Or have turned into a purple lemur.

    None of us here are telepathic. We give advice; we don’t stare into crystal balls.

    My advice to you is you keep your wits about you and your eyes and ears open. You have likely had a difficult and stressful month and his ‘odd’ behavior could simply be in response to that, or even something completely different in his life.

    Just because something ‘could’ happen doesn’t mean it has, or that it will. Cut your guy some slack and talk your feelings out with him. You’ll either discover what is bothering him or you’ll start to realize just how little you trust him. Even if he hasn’t cheated, if you really can’t have that little iota of faith in him and believe he has been faithful, then you really shouldn’t be in the relationship anyways.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    i think it is.alot.but thats my opinion.cuz my friend just took a break with her bf and i told her it was just the same thing as breaking up.i dont give a shit if ur getting bak together.thats just another excuse to break up with somein at the time.whats the effin difference?

    The Answer
    I would agree with you that ‘taking a break’ is pretty much equivalent to ‘breaking up’ even if it is only for a while, but honestly dear it doesn’t matter what the hell you and I think those words mean. The relationship is between her and the boy, not you. You don’t get to help define it. Only they have a say in that.

    They can label this period in their relationship ‘an agreement on the provisional cessation of affections and courting’ for all I, or you, ought to care.

    Give your friend a break and don’t argue with her about semantics and the words she uses. Instead, support her through what is actually happening and the thoughts she has about it. Only time will tell if this is a temporary state or a permanent one for their relationship. Arguing about this with one of her friends is pointless and hurtful at a time when what she really needs is some understanding.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    so my ex boyfriend dumped me for this girl, straight out told me he was only with me because he couldnt get her.

    he's being really confusing .. and not helping me to get over him. like he saw my away message sayin i was at the wrestling meet ( he came on right after i put my away up ) and i get to the wrestling meet and he shows up right after me, and sits a row in front of me. like right there. && well today i was suppose to hang out with a kid named tom. and my away message again and this time it said bonfire with tom. and tom and my ex are friends. so i get to toms and he's like i talked to mark. he said he saw you away message and he was going to stop up but he was out of service range when i called him.

    why is he going out of his way to be where i am, its not making it easy for me .. he dumped me for a whore, he really hurt me this time (we've had a few problems in the past, we were together 9 monhts) i cant be friends with the guy i love, cause i cant get over him. but hes everywhere. i want to say something ... but what, and is that a good or bad idea? ... :-/

    The Answer
    Honestly I don't think you realy need to talk to your ex. He is an ass. He treated you terribly while you were togeather, he dumped you in the most disgusting childish way possible and he is continuing to treat you terribly by following you around. You shouldn't have anything to say to him but "Hey ass! Leave me alone already."

    Stop putting where you are going in your away messages. People survived for years without aim and msn, you don't need to adverstise your every move and if he doesn't know where you are, he wont show up.

    You don't need to talk to your ex since you could solve the problem by simply removing him from your contacts or by not putting where you are going in your away message. No reason to confront him, just change what you are doing.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    My sister is getting married in Rome next year, but, because our biological mother is hysterical and refuses to be in the same room with our father, he is not invited to the wedding. (My parents split when we were kids and my sister went with our bio-mom and I stayed with dad. They split for several reasons, including bio-mom’s affair. Not that my father is perfect, but he was never abusive or anything that warrants this type of behavior from her. Like I said, she’s hysterical.)

    My sister has a great relationship with and loves our father, but he is not invited to the 'big' wedding (in Italy). Instead, my sister wants to have a small civil ceremony with my father (in the US). She asked me to be her maid of honor at her big wedding in Italy, but I don't know if I can go to the wedding if my father is not invited. What do I do???? Please Help!!!!!

    At this point, I don't think I can go, but I am afraid of losing my sister. I have no relationship with our biological mother (for reasons like this), and, my sister, who is 30, can not seem to get it together to stand up to her mother. She wants to ensure that there will not be any problems at her wedding, that is why she is not inviting my father. I don’t think this is acceptable…am I overreacting? The problem is now compounded by the fact that our uncle (father’s brother) WAS invited and is planning to go to the wedding. I am soooo confused and don’t know what to do. PLEASE… any and all advice is welcomed. I need to know what others (outside of my nutty family) think about this.

    Thank you all in advance!!!

    The Answer
    I don’t think you are over-reacting, but you might be getting offended on someone else’s behalf, someone who doesn’t necessarily want nor need you to be: That someone is your Dad.

    You haven’t mentioned his feelings on this snub one bit, but I would urge you to not take it upon yourself to punish your sister for a crime against your father if he is willing to be understanding and forgive. Talk to him, and show solidarity with him. If he is accepting of the situation, I would suggest you be as well.

    Your sister is taking the easy road and the road of the weak hearted most definitely, but I’m not sure it is fair to expect her to corral a mother who has been allowed to behave this way for years. She is the child, no matter her age. No one can ‘control’ another person, certainly not a selfish hysterical one. Her solution to this problem might not be fair or equitable, it might be incredibly selfish and insensitive, but it’s still the solution she’s chosen.

    Talk to your dad before you make any hasty decisions. If you choose not to attend the wedding explain it simply and respectfully to your sister. You don’t need to attack her, just tell her you think she made a mistake and you can’t in good conscience attend without your (and that’s both of yours) father, but you’ll be happy to celebrate with her at the civil ceremony.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question

    Please only answer this question if you're over the age of 18. I need real advice, not some 13 year old saying "OMG that lyke TOTALLY sux!!!!"

    I'm a university student, and I live in a house with 4 guys.

    Things were going great near the beginning of the year, but since then my housemates have turned out to be total jerks. They refuse to help me with keeping the house hygienic (I'm not asking for spotless, just liveable) and they yell at me all the time. I really hate being here.

    Not only that, but I'm pretty sure the house has either a mold or a dust problem, because since I moved here, my asthma has been a lot worse.

    The problem is, it's only December, and I'm stuck in this lease until next September. I really don't want to live here anymore, and I don't want my credit rating to take a hit if I just walk out.

    What can I do? Is there any way for me to get out of this place so I can live somewhere else next term? I can't afford a lawyer, and I can't afford to just pay off all the rent.

    Help me!

    The Answer
    Talk to your parents about the problem, (just so they know and they might have some advice/support to offer) then make an appointment with a counselor at your university.

    "What? A counselor?" You say.

    Yes. A counselor.

    No one expects a 20 something to be able to navigate the world all by themselves. Stuff like this comes up, and you can't really know how to deal with it if you never have had to before. The counselor will be able to talk out your options with you and connect you with other resources the school might offer. For all you know the housing office might be able to find someone who would just love to move in and be the fifth messy dude in that hell hole. You might also really be stuck there, but the university knowing about the problem might cover your ass later and if nothing else, your counselor could be a great sounding board and help learning to cope with these stupid males.

    Remember you are only a fledgling adult. You don’t have to solve every problem all by yourself. You have support systems in place you just have to reach out and figure out how to use them.

    Best of luck.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    I hear a lot of bad stuff about first time sex for a girl, so what do you think, is it better to do it yourself, I mean first masturbate and use some smaller dildo, and later have sex with a guy, or do you think it's better to do it with a guy first?

    The Answer
    It's best to simply be ready for sex, confident and secure in your decision to have sex.

    It doesn't matter much if you masturbate or not. All masturbation will really help you with is knowing what you like. Sex is completely different from pretty much any kind of self manipulation. Using a dildo will not deal with the actual problems that most girls face on their first time: being stressed and being dry.

    Quite honestly a girl’s first time does not have to be painful. It's made painful by rushing, by worrying, by being stressed out, by being uncomfortable and by all those feelings getting in the way of really throwing yourself into the act.

    If you want to masturbate, go for it. If you don’t want to, don’t. It won’t be a factor that matters much when it comes to your first time. Worry about the person you choose, the timing, and your own mental preparedness rather then what you’ve stuck up yourself. Those are the things that will actually make a difference.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    why is cunt such a bad word to call your pussy?

    The Answer
    Because our society says it is.

    Cunt is one of the few words you can truly not say or print in the North America. In New Zealand, Australia and Scotland, calling someone a cunt is the same as calling them 'dude', but in North America is an incerible vulgur word.

    Some femisnits have tried to reclaim the word, the same way some black people have tried to reclaim the n word and homosexuals have managed to make the word 'queer' quite positive. But by in large cunt is still offensive to most people round here. Not so much as a reference to female genitalia, depending on your community and friends you might be able to get away with that. Calling someone a cunt however, is a very serious offense.

    There is no real reason to use that word anyways, it's only good for shock value.
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    If I go to the theatre and scream "Boring!", can I get arrested in a democratic repulic like India?

    The Answer
    You would certainly be kicked out and if you resisted at all you could be charged (in fact you could be charged in the states too if you refused to leave for even a split second after they asked you too).

    Honestly though, I wouldn't pull a stunt like that in India. It would be fundamentally stupid to do so. Although India does have "Freedom of Speech" written into thier laws, those 'rights' aren't viewed as having quite the intrinsic value as they are in North America. Why play with fire?

    (On that note, shout "Fire!" in a crowded theatre and you will definitely be charged in any country.)
    (View All Other Answers.)

    The Question
    hey this paragraph "About 24,000 people die every day from hunger or hunger-related causes. This is down from 35,000 ten years ago, and 41,000 twenty years ago. Three-fourths of the deaths are children under the age of five. " obviously tells us that there has been a decrease in world-hunger, which is great, but i've been thinking.. and i mean, we've had MORE wars, right? shouldn't there have been an increase over the years?

    do you know what has led to this decrease?
    howcome less people are STARVING?


    The Answer
    I am rather curious about where you are getting that paragraph from. Just how much poverty is increasing or decreasing is a contentious fact right now. Some organizations who fight poverty, like the World Bank, claim they are being very successful, especially in India and China (those countries are home to nearly a third of the world's poor.) But the data on world poverty is fuzzy, difficult to gather, and has a huge margin of error, so there is a lot of doubt whether it is actually rising or falling and by how much.

    Even if world poverty is falling (which most people will agree it is, they just argue about how much) it's important to know that just because less people are starving to death doesn't mean they aren't still living very difficult lives far below the poverty line and suffering from many illness and horrible living conditions. People are still dying, loads of them, just not so much from hunger.

    As for your 'MORE wars' theory, you are actually quite wrong. The United States has gotten itself embroiled in several wars lately, but the number of wars around the world has decrease almost 50% since 1990. It is in fact, a more peaceful world then it was 20 years ago, no thanks to Bush.

    The greatest decrease in poverty however, has undoubtedly happened in India. With world support the government of India has made effort themselves to end poverty in their country. That is really probably the main reason deaths from starvation are decreasing: With help from richer countries through debt forgiveness, not-for-profit agencies and the sort, countries with serious poverty problems are organizing from within and working desperately hard to end the suffering of their own people.
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    The Question
    When is puberty officaly over for girls?
    When they have their first period?

    The Answer
    Okay, puberty is one of those words that means different things to different people.

    Some people would say puberty is just a stage in sexual developement that ends when a girl has her first period.

    Doctors would tell you puberty ends when your bones stop growing. Bone developement in women continues till they are about 19 or 21 and it's stoping coincides with a decrease in the intesity of horomones. (For guys bone developement doesn't slow down untill 21 to 24, probably accounts for thier sex drives not slowing down till much later) So that is, as far as the doctors are concerned, the offical end of puberty. You keep growing a while after your sexual maturation takes place, although it certainly slows down.
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    The Question
    Ok, I'm 14 and last night when I weighed myself I was 106...and that was with everything I ate (which I didn't eat much) I'm really worried because everytime I get hungry, I'm not as soon as I see food, or when I eat food, I'll get full after ONE BITE! My mom said that if I don't eat more soon she'll take me to a hospital...and I don't want that. So I've been forcing myself to eat...but the bad part of that is that everytime I force myself to eat...it hurts my stomach and makes me feel like I'm going to throw up...can anyone tell my easy foods to eat? I really need y'alls advice(and just saying something...I don't want to lose weight, I want to gain it...and I ain't one of those girls' who starves herself, so dont go thinking that alright?)

    The Answer
    Darling, you need to go to and see a doctor.

    What you are describing could be a symptom of a very serious illness. Please, make an appointment immediately. I had a friend who, like you, had trouble keeping food down and was way too thin, she had Chroms desires in her intestines. What you are describing is NOT normal. It will likely only get worse if you don't get treatment.

    In the mean time, avoid dairy products and stick to easy to digest foods like fruits, vegtables and not so processed grains like whole wheat bread. Making sure to have some meat as well, but try and stick to chicken, turkey and fish, which tend to be gentler on your stomach.

    But do go to a doctor, soon. I know going to a doctor is frighting, but not being able to eat and absorb nutrients could kill you, and that is far scarier.
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    The Question
    ok i've been working at my job for 2 months.

    all the girls (four of them) and my boss are extremely nice.

    we are going to go out to dinner around christmas time, and we're calling it a xmas party.

    so am i supposed to get them something? i dont know them that well because i'm new and we see each other around two times a month.

    so if i am supposed to get them something, what would be appropriate?

    note: i dont know if theyre giving gifts

    any ideas would be appreciated. oh ya dont say gift cards

    The Answer
    I doubt they are exchanging gifts, but gently feel them out about it if you aren't sure.

    I think the nicest thing to do for co-workers is give them a nice personal cards, and maybe bake some christmas treats for you to share on the last day or work such. No one expects a fifteen year old to shell out big bucks for co-workers, so if they are getting gifts, maybe an inexpenisve pair of earings for each of them.
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