thelaura's advice column

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England

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is it possible for two people to be together in the future if they see eachother once a month now?

If you work at it, anything's possible.

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Ive asked this question before and got no responce..
I saw your profile and you seem like a good person to ask it too :)
Hopefully you'll answer, beacuse I really
dont know.. haha.

So Theres this guy I know,
He's really cute.
I would be supprissed if girls didnt go after him.
When I first saw him, I figgered he was one of those cocky
guys (Most cocky guys are good looking.. ive noticed)
And I didnt Pay much attention to him at all.
Then he always looked at me and When I caught him starring he would look away. He would always try and talk to me and tap my shouler and try to make me laugh.
At first I thought he only acted this way beacuse I was paying no attention to him at all and he didnt like that.
But then he asked for my number and texted me right away.
We even began talking on the phone.. alot.
But Ive notcied, When we hang out with everyone else together he always gives the other girls hugs and things I dont know if he's "flirting" or jokeing around, but he told me he likes me, and I asked about those other girls and he said he likes them only as friends..
But how do i know he doesnt say the same thing to them?
Do guys do this to alot of girls or do you think he's telling the truth?
P.s- He one day really wanted to see me, came to my house,
and Held me in his arms while we played video games.. LOL XD
But how do I know he's not just a flirt?

Hey hun, thanks for the question.
He's making an effort with you. A big one. He's trying to talk to you at any chance, get into your personal space, txts, calls, visits... and I have to tell you, that's definitely good.

I know you're probably wary of him right now and that's fine, but try not to assume he's flirting with everyone else - hugging people is probably just how he rolls. If he's told you he likes you, then believe him unless you have evidence - I don't mean go and stalk him to see if he's lying (!) I mean sure, he has to earn your trust, but right now he hasn't done anything for you NOT to trust him.

Don't forget you guys aren't dating so him hugging other people isn't much of an issue you should be worrying about just yet.
Which brings me to my next point:

Have you guys discussed dating? If he's willing to try it with you, then you know he's being serious about liking only you. If I were in your shoes, (if you haven't already) I'd have a chat with him and tell him the things that are a bit worrying. Let HIM reassure you (not random internet people :P)

Here's a little story:
When I met my boyfriend (now fiance), I kinda thought a bit like you. He's good looking and he knows it, so I thought he must have birds flocking to him 24/7. I debated whether to even bother believing him when he said he liked me. but after some time, I realized he was being truthful and any worries I had vanished. Now here we are, together and happy.

Good luck with him girl. I hope things happen the way you want them to. x

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i have a new friend saly i met her 3-4 months ago and we got along a lot she tells me some of her secrets, but i havent told her any because i dont know if i could trust her yet and im waiting till i hang out with her, but to start out i told her about the some guys that are cute and yesterday, me and our new friend named ashley was walking to class and we saw the guy i think is cute and she says

saly:hey its james
me:i know
ashley:whos that?
saly:thats the guy she thinks he's cute, hes name is james
saly:haha remember what you told me about him? (i told her personal stuff about him)
me:oh haha yeah
saly:i cant tell you unless she tells you ashley

i know this is not a big deal but do you think she can be trusted after all? she told the other friend that i think the guy is cute and i know i dont like the guy or anything but good thing she didnt say the personal stuff i told saly to ashley because if she did i would not trust her after that what do you think about this? sorry if it sound immature im really cautious about those things i just think this might give me a clue if i could trust her with the secrets or not. thank you so much

Did you tell her not to tell anyone? If so, she was wrong to start blabbing about it.
I reckon you should just talk to her about it and if you ever tell her things in future, tell her to keep them to herself, even if you're both with the rest of your friends.
I wouldn't worry too much about this incident because it's nothing serious. but still be wary of things you tell her, like, never talk about anyone to her, because if she's a bit gobby, it will always get back to that person. Just be careful.
Trusting someone takes time. Don't put ALL your trust in her just yet - but don't think you can't trust her either.

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how do i get rid of my period for the weekened i just got it and i wanna no if there is any way 2 save my date ive been planing for a few days?

You've already got it so now there isn't much you can do about it apart from let nature take it's course.
Hate to say it, but exercise and not sleeping etc as the user below suggested will not work. If you try it, you'll just be extremely tired. She is, however, right in thinking that those things can mess up your cycle, as well as stress. but that's not the answer to your question.
Sorry hunni.

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I was browsing thorough some of the questions on here and one of them said text sex what the hecknis that ??? Is it like where u moan or something?

Similar to phone sex, but without actually speaking over the phone, you are txting someone what you want to do to them.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=text+sex

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(20/F) I'm the kind of girl that gets along better with guys than girls. I make guy friends quick and easily and I enjoy talking to them. The problem is, every guy friend I make now has an ulterior motive! Even a few days after meeting, they call all the time and ask me out on dates. I don't get it and I don't like any of them that way. I don't flirt, lead them on or even dress provocatively. I don't want to lose friendships by hurting them, but what are some ways I can stop this before it starts? How should I handle it when they do try to get closer?

I know the feeling. I'm also 20 and don't really have girls as friends because I get along better with males, but it can be such a problem sometimes and even affects my current relationship.
The best treatment is to just make it clear you are only looking for friendships right now. Some will carry on being your friend and with others, you will see your "friendship" start to vanish, because as you know, there are some guys out there who only want to be more than friends.
In future if a guy tells you they like you but you don't feel the same, explain you are flattered but you don't want a relationship with them and hope you can stay friends. You don't have to put it in a nasty way, but please make sure you are stern with them, because if you don't sound so certain, they will hold on to a bit of hope that maybe you do like them.. when you really don't. That is when people will start to get hurt.
If a guy asks you to go out somewhere, don't assume it's a date unless he tells you so. Then, if he tries to get closer and again, you don't want to, tell him how you really feel towards him.. but the point I'm making here is don't be afraid to hang out with them on a strictly friendly way and don't assume all guys want more than a friendship. You'll know by the signs they give off.. and you can simply say you just want to stay mates if that's the case.

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my boyfriend is great and does all he can to get me to my climax point, but i can never seem to let the orgasm release. i've tried pushing, i've tried relaxing but i just never seem to let it out.
i don't know what to do to help release it. i tense my muscles up.. but then do i push?
if anyone could give me any sort of advice it would be greatly appreciated! thanks!

If you think about it too much and pressure yourself to have one, then you probably won't.
It could be that it's just not enough to make you orgasm properly, even though it feels good. Try different techniques, such as when you feel close to having one, have him speed up what he's doing/add a bit more pressure, etc
Have you ever had an orgasm alone? How did you achieve this? Did you "tense" and "push"? YOU shouldn't really be the one to "push" it out so to speak, it should push out of you, so don't try too hard to force it out, because as I said, it's not doing you any favours.
Try to visualise something that turns you on - that helps a lot.
Just enjoy what he's doing and don't think about trying to have an orgasm at the time he's pleasuring you. It'll come eventually.

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I'm dating this girl at my school. We're very close and such, been dating awhile, exclusive, blah blah blah.

Anyway, I go in late on some days when I don't have class, and I just found this donut place by my house. Would it be too much if I were to show up during snack at school with a donut for her? I don't want to come off as like... overly sweet I guess. So, good idea or no?

Good idea!
Random presents, big or small, are always lovely to receive.

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:[ okay so long story short.. this guy i liked, who said he liked me started going out with his ex girlfriend. [he basically played me i guess..] and like SOOO much stuff has happened since then [they've been going out for a little over 2 months now..] but he like flirts with me.. sometimes. but i haven't talked to him in a little over a week because im done. IM SO DONE. he has a girlfriend. and it's never gonna happen. like, he used to text e everyday around the same time [on weekdays] late at night... i think that's when his gf and him would stop talking. and he would flirt a little bit, but sometimes he wouldn't, and i never knew what to expect it's like i was always just hanging on. yuh know? so anyways, since i haven't talked to him [he's in one of my classes, i ignore him.] he texted me late last night and said... "hey." then i didnt answer because i was so tired and fell asleep. and he texted me saying, "just outta curiousity why were we like cool and now you seem mad at me again"
i woke up at 10:30 p.m to find that message, and i didn't answer him. i think me not talking to him anymore is eating him alive, but i don't know. I don't know what to think anymore. I like him, I know i do. but i have to get over him, right? i don't want to... but i've exhausted all of my options, yuh know? and like in my class i have with him, a coupl guys flirt with me in that class [they are friends with him] and one of my best guy friends is in that class. well. one of the guys always pokes me and tickles me and im like ahhhh noooo. and when i like walk away the guy i like will be like, "duuuude, don't poke her." and then they'll start "play fighting" i dont get it. why does he do this? is he jealous.
I also saw him at a hockey game and he saw me and i dont know. him and his girlfriend didnt liek meet up until like 3 minutes left in the game. then i left and saw his parents [who love me, we are family friends] and they were talking to me and stuff.
I just don't know what to do or think or ANYTHING. someone help ?! with anything ?! thanks. sorry for the length, i appreciate those who take the time to read and answer this.

You're doing the right thing, hunni.
He has a girlfriend. If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn't be with another girl.
Be friends by all means if it's not hurting you inside, but anything more at this current time isn't going to happen while he has a girlfriend.
and if they happen to break up, don't be a fool and let him play you again.
It just sounds like he enjoyed you liking him. People like to feel wanted.

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14/F

In January of this year, I was feeling fine until near the end of the month. I started having mild chest pains. However, they started to increase in pain and in my body. It's an achy sort of pain. I'm really weak now, two months later. I've also lost 9 pounds since then. I cough a lot as well. I've been to the doctor's four times within those two months and the hospital. They offered to test my blood, but I have a horrible horrible, not even funny, fear of having my blood drawn, so I told them no. They didn't do it, but they did swab my nostrils and gave me a chest X-ray. They didn't find anything wrong with me, but they think I have mono. Is this possible or should I force myself to try the blood test? (Note that at my last blood test, I cried a lot. I scream too... It's immature, I know, but I'm just horrified of the needle.)
Please, I really want to get better and I'm sort of confused.
Additional info: been taking pain relievers, but they stopped working. I'm also seeing a psychologist. I don't exercise very much. I had a boyfriend and we kissed a few times, but we broke up a few days ago. I think that's it.

Would you rather not know what's wrong with you than have a little prick?
Get the blood tests done, please.
A fear of having blood taken isn't unheard of and even if you do cry, shout and scream, it's worth it, so you can get on the road to recovery.
Get better soon.

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2 years ago there was this video about the risks of myspace. the first scene is this kid taking pictures of himself in the bathroom in his boxers. then it goes to this guy whos talking to this girl online and when they meet her shes really scary. then this guy breaks into this kids apartment and has a dear head.
sounds really weird but its hilarious and i have NO idea how to find it! all the help is appreciated

LOL I remember this. LOVE IT!

Here you go :)

MySpace: The Movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBOfD2JBv0w

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my boyfriend and i were having sex friday night night (around 4 am) and we had sex about about an hour before we went for a second round. so, we were having sex for the second time. it was lasting 1000x longer then he usually does (probably because he cummed in the last hour). we were having sex. and i felt the condom break. so he thrusted ONCE. RIGHT AWAY, i got up and told him it broke. he took it off and we saw the hole at the top. so we stopped. we were done for the night. i have been freaking out ever since, unable to stop thinking about it.

some things:
well, i have been peeing ALOT today. but i think thats because i drank alot of fluids today haha.

here are some questions:
do you think i could be pregnant? (i know it is still possible to get pregnant even if you did use a condom. but, in this case since it broke and i noticed RIGHT away..)
should i get EC?

(ps; this wasnt our first time having sex, we have had it many times before this haha)

Yes, there is a chance of pregnancy.
You should benefit from the morning after pill - but bear in mind, it's more effective the sooner you take it.

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15/f
so this guy i've been hooking up with is coming over tonight. he's been too impatient to wait until this next week. theres one problem though, i'm on my period. i dont plan on having sex with him either way, but what if he tries to finger me? i'll have to stop him and then i'll seem like a prude. and it would be gross if i just let him.
should i just tell him when he's starting to do that that i cant tonight? and if he keeps asking why should i just tell him i'm on my period?
i know its natural and all of that but still i dont want to turn him off.
please help :(

Don't beat around the bush.
If you've done things with him in the past, let him know before he comes over that there won't be a repeat performance because it's that time of the month.
If you haven't done it before and he goes for it tonight.. then don't be embarrassed to simply say again, it's that time of the month, or, I am on my period..
It's nothing to be embarrassed about and he will understand.

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i have an iphone but i don't have a cable to transfer files. is there another way to tranfer music and pictures without the cable to my laptop. my laptop doesnt have bluetooth either. is there another way?

How come you don't have it?
Just buy a cable - it's money well spent.
For now though, you can email your pictures. Not much you can do about the music side of things though.

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how do you move stars for a person you love that much ??...and how do you show a person how much you love them...whilst haveing nothing to give.....how do you make that person smile when i cant do it properly my self.......how do you let go of bein in a cuddle when tbh...you dont wna ever have to leave there arms......how ??....nd how do you not cry infront of this person when u wna be there to protect that person from the bad people and things in life ?? ....how ??.......how do i know if im holding this persons hand to tight or if its not tight enough and how do i turn anger into more love for this person...does it matter if i dont mind being cold aslong as this person is warm....and does it matter if when where sleeping even tho its a double bed sheet on a single bed this person takes all the covers and i lay there freezeing ??.......how do i show im truely sorry to this person when i get angry at this person when all i want for this person is for her to have nufing but smiles on her face and to feel like her face is gna brake coz the smiles and laughter keep cmin out even tho she wants it to stop coz it hurts...........how can i wipe away her tears when they come and make her feel secure again when the werst of things happen and ......how do i tell this person just once.....not everyday......every ten seconds and after every nice thing that happens...but just that one time that it hits her so hard she falls over and realises.......i love her so much ti forces tears out of me at the smallest sign of a sad slow song ???..............how ??

ily

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How do you get letters on your keyboard such as: ℓ (l) and ८ (c).
I know that you can get symbolds such as ♥ and ♪ using your keyboard too, I just can't seem to figure out the code for letters.
Please help!

Character map.

Start
All programs
Accessories
System tools
character map

If you still can't find it, Google character map.

:)

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so i was at this MASC(missouri asociation of student councils) thing...and i met this girl, and shes really cool and we spent like the whole day together. but the thing is, she lives in southern missouri, and i live in northern missouri...about 6-4 hours apart. so my question is should i even try to get a relationship going or should i try, but never see her...but shes really cool and idk if i can just forget her...

Definitely keep in touch with her.. and if you both feel more than a friendship blossoming, then go for it. If it's meant to be, you will be able to work around a few hours distance. :)

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so we all know that for a girl, when she loses her virginity, its painful for the first time. the more you have sex, the pain is supposed to go away and turn into pleasure. ive had sex 14 times and i still dont really enjoy it. i know that as soon as u do it, your not going to get that mind blowing action. no, i just am curious why its not pleasurable. any clue? i feel retarted for asking that.

To put it simply, it's most probably lack of experience on both of your parts. It takes time for you and your partner to realize what works for both of you. but that's part of the fun - trying different ways where you are BOTH being pleasured.
If the ways you are trying aren't doing much for you, then try something else.
You may not achieve an orgasm from sex alone, but it should still feel good with a bit of practice.
Tip: Try clitoral stimulation at the same time, as many women find this more pleasurable than standard penetration.

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Im using an anti-scaring gel called 'Dermatix' for scars i have on my arms.
I've been using it for weeks but I havent had any results, the scars arent really fading at all.
Has anyone used any anti scaring products that they have had success with?

Scar creams take time to work. It can take months to see effects. Also, you need to massage it deep into your skin for it to work.
I definitely recommend Bio Oil. Tried and tested. It smells good and is a pleasure to use.

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who sings a song call stephanie

More than one person.

Go here to see which one you're thinking of.

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