The only way to make people stop bugging you about something is to take it like a compliment or just ignore that person.

I know it's really hard not to react to this kind of behavior, but when they make fun of you, that is exactly what they want. They want you to be hurt and react to it.

Or, you can say something kind of clever and funny, like, "Pale is the new tan", Even though that isn't true, it's pretty funny to throw the opposite at people, and they'll eventually get over themselves.

-TheTeenGirl

The way I see it, she sounds like she doesn't have any more feelings for you than friendship.

If you want to get closer to her, try inviting her to a movie alone instead of her inviting you and all of her other friends. Don't bail on movie plans if she invites you again, but let her know that you aren't crazy about the idea of going with 11 other people, and you'd rather go with about 3 or 4 other people. And I understand that, because unless there is a birthday party going on, that's just insane to have that many people go. Especially if you only know 1 person out of that 11.

I don't have the idea that she's a slut and nobody else should just because she has a lot of friends who happen to be generally males. If she's flirting with all of them, which is pretty normal, then I wouldn't go for her until she settles down a little bit. Maybe you should still hang out with her, but how about you do the planning, and sometimes invite your friends for her to meet.

-TheTeenGirl

It's weird and pathetic how some people will tell someone they look ugly or they'll say something totally out of line and they just try and cover it up with, "You just can't handle the truth" When there are nicer ways to tell the truth.

I think you should tell your friend that you don't even want to be around him anymore if he's going to say things like that. And when he starts saying how you can't handle the truth, just tell him to go away and leave or get away from him yourself.

You should expect an apology from him before talking to him again because if he thinks that telling someone they look like crap is a way to keep a friend, he hasn't got a clue with friendships. Plus, don't believe him when he says how you can't handle the truth, because there are better ways to say things like that other than "You look like crap, shut up".

Tell him that he is ruining the friendship and hurting your feelings.

-TheTeenGirl

I know that it's really hurtful to know that your parents are having a rough time, but I think that you should try to look around in their personal life together anymore. It only makes you angrier and more depressed and scared.

If you really feel upset about your parents, I think that you should try talking to one of your parents that you feel closest to. I know you may not think they'll understand, but if you just explain that you feel worried about what's happening between them, they might be able to assure you and tell you a little about what's going on. And if you need someone else to turn to, then maybe you should try the school counselor or a good friend you can trust. School counselors can really help because if you are having a hard time in school, they can let your teachers know that you aren't doing really well right now.

I think what's making you depressed is your parents problems. Maybe you felt like they were having a great marriage and you uncovered a secret that is really hard to take in. This can be really hard to cope with. I think you need to take things easy and confide in a counselor or a trusted adult.

-TheTeenGirl

I know that you are probably really upset about this break-up of 7 months, but you can get over him. It won't be in a matter of days, but it can be done.

The point is that it is over. So, you shouldn't try to contact him or yell at him because you both aren't together anymore. He would probably hang up anyway. Plus, you both really need time apart. Break-ups require tons of time away from each other because it needs to be healed and done with.

As for getting by with these sad feelings about this guy, take it easy. Take things one day and one moment at a time. Soon you'll realize after a few days of doing your own thing that you are really ok without him. If you both just stayed in contact as friends, you'll never get over him because you'd be still talking to him everyday. It's just torturing yourself when you talk to him when you are both are just broken up. Take it easy and try to keep busy at the same time. When you are just laying down and doing nothing, turn on your TV and do some sit-ups while watching it. Excersizing can really ease sad feelings away.

Long distance relationships are pretty hard to work through. They aren't impossible, but they require some tough work.


-TheTeenGirl

The issues about him not be able to have contact with you are eliminated, so there should be no problem with talking to him outside of school.

You also said that he wasn't a great boyfriend because he was a little obsessive. If you really don't want a little commitment and strong contact between each other, maybe Dylan isn't the one for you right now.

If you really do want to be with him, you could always ask him if you both could slow down a little bit this time because it felt too fast the last time around.

I don't really see any problem with giving this another shot. As long as there wasn't a serious problem with this guy, maybe you should try it.

-TheTeenGirl

Unfortunatly there isn't much that you can do about this except to keep telling her to leave her boyfriend when she comes to you for help.

A lot of people don't understand how girls can give in to this kind of behavior, I don't even understand. But, the thing is that she is really into this guy, they've been together for at least 3 years now. And so she can't really see herself without him because it wouldn't feel right, so this just makes her think that it's ok for him to have outbursts and freak out on her even though it's absolutely not.

I know it's hard to have to see your friend keep acting like everything is just fine the next day and then get hurt again but she is the only one who can get herself out of this. The only way she'll get out is if she starts to understand that she is really disrespecting herself and deserves a lot better than this guy. Right now she's just going back and forth with this guy. He hurts her, she cries, he says he's sorry, she comes back and everything is good. Soon, she'll start to notice a pattern going, and it could be a lot longer for her to notice. It may even take marriage to make her see.

If you do really want to take action with this, I only see it as taking legal action. Like if you were to turn in her boyfriend for abuse. But, I think that would cause a lot of conflict with you and your best friend. The next time she's crying and confiding in you, try to explain to her that you are really concerned about this situation and you don't want to see her like this anymore. Try and reason with her, she probably won't see it your way. But, just tell her that if she really had respect for herself, she wouldn't be letting this happen. And try to let her know that if she decides to leave him that she can stay with you for a while to cope or something.

-TheTeenGirl

The only way you'll find out whether this can work or not is try. A lot of people are scared that they'll lose friendships after dating, but thats a proccess that every broken up couple will go through.

They need time away from each other, so they split for a long time because one of them probably still has feelings for the other. So, what I'm telling you is to not worry about what will happen if things don't work out. You don't even know for sure whether he has the same feelings for you. So try not jumping ahead of yourself.

Another thing you should do is have a friend ask him if he likes you or if you can get up the courage, tell him you like him the next time he asks you who you like.

-TheTeenGirl

I don't understand why you are looking for a different answer as if there is another answer.

Nobody knows when their periods will arrive. Thats it. End of story. There is no exact date for anyone to tell you this. Periods do happen at different times in different age groups.

When you've started your period, just tell her. Theres no certain way to tell her without her feeling happy for you. I can't pomise you that she won't act weird, but it's a pretty beautiful thing when a woman starts her period. It's your body's way of saying that you are mature enough to have a baby. I know it may not sound or look, or smell beautiful, but it is all together.

Just be patient when it comes to your period. Let nature run it's course.

-TheTeenGirl

I really think that senior and freshmens are two worlds apart. When you are a freshmen, you are just now understanding and figuring out what you might want in the future. When you are a senior, you are off to college soon and have a pretty good idea of what you want to be. Most seniors are about 17 or 18 while freshmens are only 15 or 16. When he turns 18, he will be an adult while you are a minor (child).

I'm sorry, but I think the maturity levels aren't strong enough to connect.

-TheTeenGirl

Well, first off I want you to know that I do know that this is a serious situation and you really can find someone who will believe you.

My next suggestion would be a teacher. Don't stop looking for someone to tell that will take this seriously because someone in your school will. Let them know that you are in danger and you need help.

When you go to school thats the first thing you need to do. If a social worker won't take you seriously, which is really unprofessional, then a teacher will. Before you go to any class, just explain it to a trusted teacher and tell them that the counselor or social worker aren't taking you seriously.

You don't have to reply and let me know what happened, but I do want you to be ok and get out of your situation. Please don't stop running for help, someone will help.

-TheTeenGirl

Absolutely break up with him.

You definetly did not deserve an outburst like that. You are in an abusive relationship again. He's emotionally abusing you by calling you those names and there is no reason to ever be called those names and he is out of controllably jealous.

You need to be careful about the guys you choose and where you are looking for them. A lot of girls who end up in these relationship actually defend these guys who flip out at them. They think that they have a right to be jealous and scream at them. They make up excuses for them so that they can convince themselves that they can stay in that relationship. They flip out, and if you react by crying or leaving, they will tell you they are sorry and that it will never happen again and it always does.

You should never tolerate this kind of behavior by a guy the first time. He hits you once, you leave. He flips out on you for hugging or looking at another guy, you leave. Don't wait around for a second time, because it will come around.

A lot of what comes from picking a guy whose abusive in ways has to do with what that girl thinks of herself. If she thinks she is worthless and doesn't deserve to be treated right, then she will be with a guy who treats who like crap and she'll think it's ok. If she thinks that she truly deserves a smart guy who cares a lot about her, then she will have that guy and not settle for less. If you really have respect for yourself, and you think you truly deserve love that is healthy, then look for that and don't settle for less. If you believe that you don't deserve a good relationship, then you have to stop dating until you can start knowing that you deserve to be loved.

-TheTeenGirl

You did the right thing by turning to the school counselor, but now it just sounds like the way you are living is unbearable.

I think what you should do now is ask the counselor for some help on trying to move somewhere else. A friend, another family member who can take you in, or someone who can take care of you for a while. I think that you should probably ask your counselor for help because your parents probably won't let you move out, which is why you need to turn them in or something.

If this isn't an option for you, then I think you better seek help from your counselor and tell her everything thats going on and how much it's hurting you. It sounds like you shouldn't be living there anymore. If you need anymore help concerning this problem, don't be afraid to inbox.

-TheTeenGirl

You aren't living a lie. I just want you to know that just because you have a rocky life, it doesn't mean that you can't smile or laugh, or have fun with anyone. You are a girl who has a good life in school.

You do really need to get a grip on this issue, because crying every night and wishing you weren't alive anymore is not a way to live. You are having flashbacks of something you'll probably never be able to erase out of your mind, and you need help to cope with that. Since your family isn't something you can go to for help, you need to get to a friend you can trust. Confide in a friend to tell your issue, I know it will be hard, but you'll feel better knowing that someone else knows what's happening.

I know that you don't want your friends to know, but you should at least let one you can come stay with for a while or something until you can work things out. Therapy can be costly, but it can help you. If you can't get money somehow to get to therapy, then I think you need to see the school counselor. The idea of letting out the problem probably scares you, but you need to get out of your house. This is a horrible situation and you have to get out of all of this.

I will put it to you this way, if you are truly that girl who has a good social life and is a good friend to all of her other friends, then be a good friend to yourself by pulling yourself out of misery. If you need anymore help or concerns, don't be afraid to ask me in my inbox.

-TheTeenGirl

Don't start giving up. These things happen. Guys don't always tell the truth about who they like and they aren't really into girls as much as girls are into guys, especially guys around your age. So, keep talking online and don't let what he said get you down.

-TheTeenGirl

Well, I don't know what her issue is, but my suggestion would be to probably stay away from her as much as possible.

I know this sounds hard, but when you are with your friends, try going in another room or go out somewhere with them instead of sticking around at home. I'm not saying that you shouldn't ever hang out at home, but she just has to start getting over herself when it comes to being picky. If she's being this way to her friends and boyfriend, how long do you think they'll stick around? Probably not much longer.

The next time she starts to get rude and picky, just say, "Hey, theres no reason for you to make it a big deal. Nobody wants to be around people who go crazy over things like this like you do. Stop acting like a big baby" or something like that.

And just out of curiousity, where are your parents in this situation? Because if they are tolerating this kind of stuff, they need to see what she's doing.

-TheTeenGirl

You don't have a problem. I know it's a little strange to have a lot of friends who are guys and the fact that you feel like you can relate to them better but maybe that's because you havn't really met a girl that was close to you as a friend. A way to get closer to a girlfriend is letting your feelings out or going out with them to shop or something. Basically girlfriends are just girls who tell secrets, go shopping, take pictures o each other, have parties, do make overs and all of that fun stuff.

Sometimes you think that you wouldn't be interested in that stuff, but you can have fun when you are with friends that you can trust and always talk to. You don't have to get closer to girls as friends, but it wouldn't hurt to check out what you are missing.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm sure that what she said was really upsetting to hear, but sometimes you just have to think about what it would accomplish by bringing it up. She would probably deny it and it will stir up more trouble with the people you heard it from.

You also just have to know that you have to figure out who your real friends are by what you get from your own perspective and not from other people. In other words, you have to start actually hearing or seeing what she does to prove whether the friendship is true or not. If you start believing what other people hear, it's not the best way to go. People will twist things around from what other people say and it will get back to that person as something different.

I'm not saying that she didn't say it, but this happened in the past. Wait to question your friendship with this girl when something goes on in the present.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you and your current boyfriend might be coming to an end in this relationship.

But, this is all up to you. If you and your boyfriend are off and on, and he just can't seem to decide whether he wants you or not, then I'd probably give your crush a try and start on something new. If you feel that you and your boyfriend can work things out, then maybe you are better off with him.

Plus, not going to the same school is hard enough to deal with. So maybe having someone at school to have a relationship with is better.

-TheTeenGirl

Keep comforting your friend. There isn't anything that can take a situation like this back. What you should be doing about your other friends is turn them in to a teacher.

These girls humiliated her in the worst ways possible, and they definetly do not deserve to be let off easy. I know that you may think they'll know you told and start making up things about you, but you've got to drag adults into this and let them know you need help. If you just let your friend cry every night, you are letting her down by not getting someone else into this.

This is an experiance that can make someone just depressed all of the time. You never know what can happen in result of all of this. People who get made fun of start changing to stop the harassment. I know that you may think Lizzie won't change, but you never know about these things. They can really ruin school experiances.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

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