Wow, you really made my afternoon...that made me laugh. Yes, he is hot...*drool*. Lol...I'd tell him to write to you, but he doesn't even write to me, lol.
-Siren =)

You could call him, you know. My guy and I have been together for almost 2 years and there are times he doesn't call me for like a week. Then I call him, ask him what's going on, and he tells me how incredibly busy he's been.
No phone call for a few days means either he's busy, he forgot, his parents won't let him call you (do you talk every day? They might be annoyed with that, or something), or something's wrong relationshipwise, in which case you really do need to talk to him.
Before you jump to any conclusions, hear his side of the story and find out if he has a valid reason for not calling you. Yes, forgetting IS a valid reason. I get busy and forget to call my boy, and I love him with all my heart.
So, call him - if he's not there, leave a message with someone (or with a machine) telling him you want to talk to him, or you're worried about him, since you haven't talked to him in a few days.(Either one works. "I want to talk to you about something" might make him nervous, though.)
One last note - it takes two to make relationships work. You've got to BOTH work at them. Maybe he just wants you to call him for once.
In any case, I hope this helps! Good luck with your boy.
-Siren =)

That's ironic - I met my boyfriend in math class. Lol.
Anyway, find out how much they're doing, so to speak. If it's all hand-holding and little kisses, it's age-appropriate. If they're doing more, then watch it.
Know, though, that everyone's gotta start having boyfriends at some point. Some people just start earlier or later than others.
I had my first "boyfriend" when I was 7. Of course, we didn't do anything but hug...but still. I had my first "serious" boyfriend when I was a freshman in high school. Let her talk to you about him - that way you can keep track of how "serious" they're getting, if you want to watch her. Be aware, though, that if you try to get her to stop, she'll probably fight.
It doesn't sound too serious at this rate, though, so I would just sit back and let her babble about it. It's kinda cute.^^
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Just so you know, there isn't a lot I can help with - this is a very serious problem, and it's going to take more than an advice columnist to help you all work it out.
I'm gonna try my best, but I guarantee nothing. ^^
Your friend's mom is right, I think. You should get an order of protection and get him taken from the house. He definitely has some mental issues that could blow up into a lot more than they already have, and at this point it's dangerous to continue being around him.
Also, unfortunately, this is a problem I don't think you can actually help fix. He has real psychological issues and they need to be taken care of by a psychiciatrist, and you and your mother and your sister need to get him out of your lives.
What you and your sister can do for now, until your mother makes some decisions, is maybe stay with a friend for awhile. Get away from your dad.
I don't know, honestly, if your dad can actually win the house or not. I think a lot of it really depends on how good your mother's lawyer is.
I'm sorry there isn't more I can say or do to help you. My best advice is for all of you to get away. Get the police involved, too, in any way you can.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's a terrible thing to have to deal with. I may not be able to offer a lot of advice in this situation, but I can listen - if you need someone talk to, my screen name is SirenCytherea.
I hope this helps on some level.
-Siren =)

Hey, I understand the hating of purses totally.
Your gym back would definitely work. You could also buy a tampon case (they look like glasses cases, only they open differently). Or you could even buy a glasses case to keep them in.
Also, Tampax makes compact tampons that are easy to carry around. You can't tell what they are unless you know what they are, and a lot of guys don't.
5 1/2 hours is definitely not too long. I always leave mine in for like 8 hours and nothing has ever happened to me. TSS is extremely rare, and occurs when bacteria forms. You don't really need to worry about that as long as you don't leave tampons in for like...12 hours at a time.
Anyway.
Go for the Tampax compact(s) if you want to kinda hide them, or get a glasses case and put regular tampons in them. It's up to you. I like tampax compacts, personally. They're small - I always carry two in my purse - and they're handy.
As for what you do if you get it during school, I'd keep a bunch of tampons and pads in your locker (like in some sort of opaque case so no one will notice) and that way you can run to your locker, grab a tampon or a pad, and change it, etc. The gym bag also works if you keep it with you all the time. Otherwise, definitely have something in your locker at the very least.
Or something else I just thoguht of - If you have a trapper keeper/binder/whatever, and a pencil case in it, you can keep a tampax compact tampon in there and no one will have any idea whatsoever. Be creative! There are a lot of ways to fix this.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Okay, first, stop straining. That's BAAAAD. Lol. Second, when you breathe in, you should feel like you're about to yawn, and when you sing, that "big-space-in-throat" feeling should stay there. You want to be using all your air, and don't be afraid to blast the high notes.
Who picked this song, you or your teacher? It's possible you just don't have those notes in your range yet. Range takes time to develop. I can hit a high E above the staff full-voiced, and I remember when I couldn't even hit the F IN the staff comfortably.
It takes time. Don't push yourself, or your voice. You could ruin your voice that way.
Concentrate on keeping the note feeling "low", if that makes any sense.
I suggest trying to find the piece in a different key, or try using more air, open your mouth more, and practice, practice, practice.
If you really want to improve your voice, I suggest you search for a voice teacher. They're amazingly helpful.
I hope this helped a bit!
-Siren =)

Hey there.
The "featured columnist" Is pretty random. In your profile it gives you a box to check "would you like to be a featured columnist someday?" and if you check yes, you can be randomly chosen. I think it changes every two days or so.
For future knowledge, this question is actually kind of in the FAQ.
http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?f=31

Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I don't know for sure - I don't think anyone does - but if I had to guess, I'd say you should have about from a low G (below middle C) to a comfortable high C above the staff (which means you should probably be able to sing a little higher than that.)
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Sorry I didn't get a chance to answer sooner - computer trouble.
Anyway, I think you should talk to your friend and let her know how you're feeling. She can't know that you feel this way unless you tell her - as awesome as best friends are, they can't read minds, unfortunately, so we've gotta communicate.
Communication is key in every kind of relationship, including frienship.
I strongly suggest you talk to her - if/when you do, make sure you're telling her how YOU FEEL about what's going on instead of telling her what she's doing wrong. If your tone is accusatory, there's almost certain to be a fight.
I suggest you use "I feel" sentences. (Yeah, kinda childish, I know, but seriously - it works. It's prevented fights with my parents, believe it or not!)
Example: "[Your friend's name here], I wanted to talk to you about how I feel. Lately, it seems as though you and I are doing a lot of the same things...same instrument, same teacher...I don't mean to be mean or anything, but it's bothering me a little because I kind of felt that guitar was my thing - it's what makes me different."
That's one way to say it. There are a lot of different ways to phrase the way you're feeling, but note that what "I" was feeling was emphasized over what's going on. "I want you to stop playing guitar because it's my thing" will only make her angry, or hurt, or confused.
But yes, do talk to her. Let her know how you're feeling, and emphasize that these are your feelings, etc.
I hope this helped. If not, I'm always wiling to try harder!
-Siren =)

One teaspoon of sugar (level or rounded) always works for me.
Either that, or one packet of sugar, whichever's handier.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Well, 32nd notes are confusing. They're just like doubled sixteenths. There are four sixteenths to every beat (if you're in 4/4 time), and if 32nds are doubled 16ths, there are...
8 32nds to every beat.
What might help, while sightsinging, is if you count in eighths.
Like, slap on your leg, and when your hand comes up, snap your fingers. So you ARE counting quarters, but you're counting eighths too.
As for just being able to look at it and sing it, that's difficult, especially with 32nd notes, you'll have to slow it down and count it out once or twice, but if you just remember that 32nd are doubled sixteenths, etc, you should be able to mark it out.
I hope this helps - if not, I can always try working through an example for/with you. I'm always willing to try harder!
-Siren =)

I'm a little person too. 5'3", though I'm broad-shouldered so it's kinda handy.
Firstly, think about filling the room with your sound. Second, NEVER feel like you're yelling when you sing.
Keep your larynx down, soft palette up, and breathe low. Use all your air when you sing. Exhale. Pull your shoulders up to your earlobes, then back and down as you inhale - that'll open up your ribcage. When you breathe, you want to feel like you're breathing from your toes.
Singing is very psychological.
All this stuff takes a lot of practice, and a lot of time. If you really want to improve your technique, I would start voice lessons with somebody.
There's no harm to be done, except to your wallet, lol. I do strongly reccomend voice lessons, though - it's hard to get help on line.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Ouch! I'm sorry, that really sucks. I have eczema, too. I use Protopic (I think it's prescription, though). Elidel works well too.
What you might want to try if you just need to stop the hurting or whatever - put vaseline, or petroleum jelly on your fingers and put a pair of gloves on and just leave them on.
You might also try smearing your hands with vaseline (or if you get Protopic, which I highly reccomend) at night before you go to sleep and wearing gloves to bed. It'll help it sink in a little better.
Also, Marilyn Miglin cosmetics has a "Tissue Cream" that I use on my dry lips at night - it's a little on the expensive side, but it's GREAT for fast fixes. You can use it on pretty much any part of your body that's dry. I use it mostly on my lips, but it tastes pretty bad, so only at night.
There isn't really a fast cure for eczema - I reccomend going to a dermatologist and getting a prescription for an ointment that might help you. I used to have it attack my hands and couldn't move them without my knuckles cracking.
If you end up going to a doctor, mention Cutivate, Protpic, and Elidel.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Wow, that's really flattering! But believe me, I am DEFINITELY not perfect. I've totally made my share of mistakes - that's the only reason I know what (not) to do in a lot of situations, lol.
I'm glad you like the advice I give. I just try to speak from experience and stop people from making the same mistakes I do!
You totally made my night, by the way. ^_^
-Siren =)

Wow, that's LOADS better. Does it sound better to you? You've done an excellent job of showing her excitement a little more. Watch your comma use, though. Lol. For instance:
"Realizing the moment she had been waiting for, for so long now, had come, she jumped out of her chair almost knocking it over as she ran for the door."
That almost seems to have too many pauses in it. You can easily replace a couple of words and not have the repeated "for" ('cause that would bother me, I d'no about you)
"Realizing that the moment she'd been anxiously waiting for had finally come, she jumped out of her chair..."
(If, of course, she is anxious about it)
You have a couple other instances where a few commas are almost overused, like "She swung open the door, to see..." that comma isn't necessary.
"sunk inside of her chest of in her..." You've got a couple extra "of"s in there, lol. Sometimes simplicity is best, especially if everything's happening quickly.
"her breathing has stopped as if her heart had." Her heart had what? Stopped? Skipped a beat? (I personally like that saying, it's cute.) That's a bit of a fragment (part of an unfinished sentence).
Just a comment, instead of "their presence's," I'd use "the other's". That's a personal preference, though. Both work.
Other than those few things, it's loads better. I hope you don't find my suggestions to harsh...I'm extremely perfectionistic in my own writing, and I go through things and edit them like, ten times over before I'm happy.
Anyway, it's getting good! ^_^
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Range comes with time and a heck of a lot of practice, unfortunately, but you can expand it a little and rush the process (in some cases. Be warned that this might not work in the time you'd like it to, as every halfstep higher takes awhile to get solidly.)
When you warm up, start with small intervals - I usually start with fifths. Like, start with a low A, slide up to an E, then back down to an A. Then move up a halfstep and start on a Bflat and slide up to an F, then back down, etc. Slide up and down on a comfortable vowel. When you get higher, switch to "ah" if you weren't already singing it, and hit your high C a couple times, then go back down below the staff to make sure you're not straining your voice.
Once you've done that, expand to octaves. Slide on "ah". The sliding will get your momentum going and relax your vocal chords. As you get higher, think of using more air and opening your entire body. Sing from your toes! Singing is very psychological.
Another excercise, after the octaves, is this one -
Slide up a fifth, then go back down to your starting note, slide back up to a fifth, then slide up to a ninth, then back down to your starting note (1,5,1,5,9,5,1)
Or if you know sol feg, it's do sol do sol re sol do.
An example is (starting on middle C) C ->G, slide back down -> C, slide back up to the G then up to a D then back down to a C.
With that excercise, it's crucial that you do it in one breath. If you can't hit an E the first time you try, don't freak. Work up by halfsteps. One day go for a C sharp. If you're feeling good, try a D, but then go back down. Don't push your voice, and after you've been singing high up, make sure you always go back down below the staff and make sure you're not straining your voice. If it turns out you can't get as low as you usually can, take a break, drink some tea (or something warm (no milk!)) tea with honey is good for your voice, and then try it again.
Practice this stuff for awhile, but don't rush too much or you'll strain your voice, and that's not good. Lol.
I hope this helps, good luck with the E ^_^
-Siren =)

You've heard right, tampons do stretch you out a little. Even if you are small, there's a possibility that using tampons might have stretched you enough so that it won't hurt too much.
However, I won't lie, it does usually hurt quite a bit, but it's not excruciating (in most cases).
When my guy and I had sex the first time, I hadn't used tampons, or fingered myself, ever. So I wasn't stretched out at all. It did hurt quite a bit.
Some things you can make sure of, though - when (if) you do go for it, make sure you're well-lubricated. Foreplay is a MUST. Try to relax (the tenser you are especially down there, the more it'll hurt). Ask him to go slow and be gentle, and don't let him like...shove the whole thing in. (Excuse the bluntness) Shallow is good to start. I reccomend missionary with him on top. That way he can control how far it goes in, and you don't have to do any work.
It may be a little scary, but it's not as excruciating and "Oh my god, the pain, kill me now!" as people make it out to be.
Don't be afraid to say "stop", though, if it freaks you out or it's too much for you.
Because I'm morally obligated, use a condom, get on the pill, be safe, blah blah blah. ^_^ I'm sure you know the drill.
But overall, from what you said, you sound like you'll be okay. Tampons do stretch you out a bit, so you shouldn't have TOO much pain to deal with.
Granted it may hurt quite a bit - brace yourself for pain, and if it doesn't hurt as much as you thought it would, you'll just be happily surprised. ^_^
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Ouch, this is a tough situation.
It's good that you recognize that it might not be right to continue going out with your current guy if you have more feelings for someone else. That's kinda stringing him along, and not nice to either of you. You've got a couple of hard decisions to make, and you might not like any of them. There's no easy solution, really.
What I would do, in your shoes, is decide how much you really like this other boy. You said you like him, but do you like him as much as your boyfriend?
It might be easier for you to be single for awhile until you decide what you want. Normally I might say to break it off with the boyfriend and wait for the other guy, but that's your choice. It's chancy, as you don't know whether or not this other guy still likes you.
However, answer these questions:
Are you willing to keep stringing your boyfriend along and making him think you only have eyes for him?
Are you willing to risk being single to get rid of your confusion?
You don't NEED to have a boyfriend (while it is definitely nice - I won't be a hypocrite), and sometimes you're better off single.
But you've got to decide if this other guy is really worth it. Is he worth killing a good relationship, and risking the single life?
Answer those questions first. If the answer to both of those is "yes," break it off with your boy.
Another option you have is to tell the other guy what you're feeling - scratch that, tell BOTH guys what you're feeling and see what they do. Your boyfriend may break it off for you, and this other guy may make a move.
I think I might go with that second option in your shoes, quite honestly. While it does take one heck of a lot of guts, both may respect you more for being honest about your feelings.
But realize if you tell your boyfriend you think you're developing feelings for another guy, he may very well break it off, and you may not be able to do anything about it. You've gotta make some important decisions, answer some important questions, and figure out what you really want.
Rather, WHO you really want.
If you need someone to babble at, my screen name's SirenCytherea and I'm always willing to help.
In the meantime, think some stuff over. Maybe even talk to your mom or dad. They were kids once, and parents are surprisingly good resources. That's where I get most of my "infinite knowledge."
I hope this helps you!
-Siren =)

Okay, first remember this: This is YOUR relationship too. Your guy shouldn't have all the say.
It's great that he's taking such an interest and you guys are really looking at this stuff, but if you feel like it's happening too fast, you've got to tell him.
Lack of communication can seriously destroy a relationship. My fiance and I almost broke up because of a communication issue. If you're freaked and you feel like he's pushing this, or whatever, you've got to sit him down and tell him.
Either that, or take a blank Word document, or Notepad or whatever, and just write nonstop for like half an hour. Babble about what you're feeling dealing with this whole moving-in-with-him thing, and see where you end up at the end and how you feel. Nobody but you has to see what you write. You can just click "no" when it asks you if you want to save the changes.
Freewriting always helps me sort my feelings out, and I strongly suggest it for you. Then once you know what you're really feeling you can sit him down and tell him.
I'd ask him not to interrupt you until you finished babbling (let him know when you're done, though).
The whole apartment thing is a BIG thing. Unless you already know what you're doing college-wise, keep that in mind, too. You might not end up where you guys find an apartment. Being in an apartment limits you a little schoolwise. Keep that in mind.
Unless you're not planning to go to college right away, which is fine as well.
Think everything through on paper (or on computer, whichever works), decide what you're feeling, and then talk to your boyfriend.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

It's a good idea. Be careful about tense-shifts. You can't seem to decide between past tense and present tense. Present is good if you're trying to keep the reader "in the moment", and past is good if you really want to keep it a story.
Personally I prefer past-tense. Most writing is in past.
Watch your spelling, and try some more descriptive terms. Like, What did she do when she heard the doorbell ring? Did she jump up and knock her chair over in an effort to get to the door quickly?
Also, try reading it aloud to see if it flows. If it sounds to you like you're telling your friend what happened the other day, then you've probably got it down pretty well. If not, try to make it a little more casual.
I like that you focus on trying to get the reader to recognize the feeling your main girl has when she hears her guy at the door. That's very good - try getting the reader to actually FEEL it. Describe the guy! Let your girl's eyes draw slowly up his legs, resting on his well-toned body and finally up to his gorgeous eyes - get me to feel what your girl feels.
Other than those couple things, this is very good! If you want an editor, I'm open. I love to help other people out (especially since I can't get to any of my own writing to edit and I'm kinda going through withdrawal).
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

Website:
Gender:
Age:
AIM:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists