Hello, my name is Sam. There's a lot that I can say about myself, but if you'd like that then you could always message me and we can have a nice cup of tea together :D
I am not very old, so I might not have too much life experience, but I do like to help people. I know that life often throws unexpected blows at people, but I am so extremely optimistic. Hopefully some of my optimism will rub off on the people to whom I am giving advice. I am happy to help with anything! :)
Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 17
Member Since: February 24, 2007
Answers: 477
Last Update: October 17, 2011
Visitors: 29140
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Ok, so my cousin has this boy friend, and he is in 8th grade, she is in 9th, they have been going out for over a month now and she thinks they are all good but today me and my friends found out her boyfriend has been cheating on her with a guy who is in 10th grade, its gross and we dont know how to break it to her, she will be ruined but its better to hear it from her cousin and friends than someone random calling her boyfriend a queer if it gets around, but we are not telling anyone (link)
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i say you tell her boyfriend that you know he is cheating on her. dont be mean about it just tell him that if he doesnt tell her then you will. also listen to what he has to say. it might not be wat it looks like unless you actually saw them kissing or hold hands or something. dont tell ur cuzin about it. he should do that. try not to get in the middle of it even if you think its for the best. because this could all be a big misunderstanding.
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My best friend is a guy. I like him as a little more than a friend...but I value our friendship far too much to make it awkward by telling him. Anyway I think he has a clue, and I think he likes me sometimes. (He's a huge flirt - it's hard to tell.)
Thing is - I called him up Friday night to come over and watch a movie. We watched the Davinci Code - a long one. We were both pretty tired, and of course we talked throughout it and weren't like, on top of eachother or anything. :-P
Anyway, during the movie in the middle somewhere, my guy friend joked, "watch us just fall asleep and not get up til morning, haha :)".
And...I was really tired and wanted to rest my eyes, so I shut them and sort of leaned on him a little, but I'm pretty sure he didn't mind, cause he was kinda close to me the whole time. Eventually I was sort of half-asleep but just enjoying the moment. A lot ...because even though I'm only 13, it seemed romantic to me ;D haha...and I'm all about wanting romance =P.
So my question is this - afterwards he didn't seem mad, but just sort of calm about it, and woke me up. But I knew I was leaning on him, I was just sort of half-sleeping. -
Did that make him feel weird? Because he's been acting a bit strange at school, like he isn't talking to me much. And as if he's annoyed with me or something.
I really hope I didn't do anything to mess things up - we've known eachother about a year but went through alot, including my father's death, and I feel so close to him. I hope he didn't mind my leaning on him.
It's just weird seeing him at school, because he doesn't seem to want to be around me. It's like I'm some annoying pest or boring person, when I'm not even doing anything...that I know of.
Any ideas why he may be acting this way?
sorry so long:( but I really want to save this friendship. Thanks sooo much if you took the time to read this. :-) (link)
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hey i know this can be very complicated- liking ur best friend and all. i am going through the same thing. ok well wat i did was actually tell him that i liked him. talk to him about it. first ask him if he is mad at you or if you have done something to annoy him. then tell him that you like him as more than a friend. if he says he doesnt like you that way then tell him thats fine and that you dont want it to affect your friendship. if he says he likes you well then thats very good! =) he might just be shy about the whole thing and not really mad at you at all. maybe he just doesnt know wat to say to you. and its ok im only 14 and i love romanticness! =p any time my best friend who i like does or says something romantic, i basically melt. lol i know! well good luck. anything you need leave me a message in my inbox.
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Okay, so i know there's supposed to be a show on tonight about the columbine shooting, an insider info about it and stuff.. could anyone tell me when and on what channel (for rcn users)
thanks. =) (link)
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ok well ur in luck. i m gonna watch this too. i have direct tv so its channel 276. its the national geographic channel. at 7pm on my tv, this may also be different. directv has a weird schedule sometimes.
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I always feel like I bring everyone down. Or like after I talk to people I feel stupid, like why did i say that... And then I feel unconfortable when I'm around those people... I just feel stupid everytime I open my mouth... Is it lack of confidence? I don't know. Sometimes I just stay shut or sit in a corner by myself, so that I won't feel this way afterwards. What can I do to change this?
And please don't say to stop caring what others think, cause that's obvious. (link)
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i think you might be lacking confidence. i feel the same way around certain people. i have found that the best way to gain confidence is to try to feel more comfortable around these people. when i started hanging out with a new group of people i felt like the odd one out but in time i started adapting and had more things to talk about with them. making friends can be very challenging. if you find yourself bringing people down, then even though its hard, try to think before you speak. sometimes a little thinking can go a long way. my mouth tends to slip too sometimes and i wish i could take things back. just try to have fun and let loose. chances are that when you are having a good time it shows and people are drawn to this type of happy energy. for example if you are in a group situation try to make at least one of the people in that group a good friend of yours. that way you never feel left out and always have someone to talk to. it really does take time though. and sometimes the people you least expect to become close with end up being the best friends you could ever have. and that is the best feeling in the world. good luck dont be discouraged. and have fun! anyting you need feel free to message me.
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Everytime I look really "nice/good/pretty/stylish/glamorous" my friends always spot something on me. Like a little bit of smudged eye liner, or peanut-butter breath, messy hair, lipgloss not on the lips, or make-up prob. Its just so annoying. I hate it. I wish they would just compliment me. but they always find something. So I try to look good but then they always are so mean. I always feel bad after they told me that and embarassed. Its like they never have something to say nice to me. what should i do about this? (link)
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well friends should not be so mean. they should compliment you if you are trying to look good. they just have low self esteems and need to feel better about themselves and so they attack you to help them feel better. i would say not to surround yourself with people that can not be polite and encouraging. you shouldnt have friends that bring you down. you deserve better.
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how do you get other people who dont have advicenators column to ask you a question, instead of just people who are memebers?? (link)
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on the left hand side it says welcome _____ where the inbox and all of that is. one of the links says profile settings. once you click that scroll down to where it says -Part III Stuff we show to everyone- and there it says who can ask you questions and just select "anyone". now even unregistered users can ask you stuff.
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it seems latly the only thing that anyone wants to do is either hook up or have sex. what happened to guys genuinly wanting to take girls out and being gentleman. is it me? im just tired of getting these guys who are just interested in getting in my pants. whatever. i just want to know if there are any guys out there who are still gentleman (link)
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im not a guy ut my brother is a gentleman, he doesnt just want girls for the sex. and there are more guys like him. yes they may be hard to find but you will one day come across a guy who cares about who you are and luvs you with or without the sex. in the meantime dont date guys that are just using you. you deserve better.
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--- BIIGGG MESSS --- ---L0NG ST0RY---
Okey so basically.~14/f~
i met this boy about 2 months ago,
how we met i was bout to fight him over the stupidest thing L0L [anyways] we'v hung out a few times like i know him &n he knows me & one night my friend kiki got in a fight with him & thay where madd at eatchother so i was like yall are gay stop fightin; so yeaa i got really madd & walkd off then my friend scoot & the boy i like came up behide me & thay was like why aint you with kiki & i was like cause i'm madd at her but then he said something & i was like i dont carree & then scoot was like your actin funny, & i was like i'm madd & then the boy i like said if you want me to live you alone i will [didnt sayy anything] & thayy buugg`d me to death about leavein me alone thay askd me again i was like do wat you do. & then thay left well later that night my sister ask`d him if he liked me & he said -- yeah a little bit - *hesmiles* well theres more two that storyy. --
wanna know ill tell. but later on that--
but lately iv been soo busssy wit cheerleading i didnt get to go over to kikis house & hang with them i found out he was moveing!
& so yeah he moved but not far from where i live. & i guess you could sayy i miss him --.alot.-- like i dream bout him ([ i know prettayy lame ]) allwayyss thinkin about him 24/7 i told my self to get over him but something wont let me. i wouldnt call it inlove just idk what it is.
i havent seen him for awhile or talkd to him i dont even know if he has a girlfriend
but everyone else in my hood has seen him. (link)
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hey well yea that kinda stinx that he moved, but yea if its not too far then you can still hang out. ask ur friends for his phone number or some other way to contact him. then just talk to him and see how things are. and no you're not lame for dreaming about a guy same thing happens to me every nite. and dont worry love is very complicated even if you dont love him its still very weird. love dont work for me too much either. but it will eventually maybe not with this guy but the next. if he has a gf i would suggest trying to move on. i bet there are a lot of nice guys that would love to be with you. hope this helps.
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My name's Hannah and there's this guy named Jason who apparently is going to ask me out after spring break, it would be my first relationship (15 f hes 17 m) if I said yes to him, but I'm not sure if I like him or not or if I am just anxious to finally having my first bf. So I want your guys opinion whether I should say yes or no. My friend is trying to convince me to say yes, but I'm not sure if I want to or not. He's alright looking to me I guess... but I'm kind of into the spontaneous type and I'm not sure if he fits it.
- blue eyes
- not tan
- dark hair
- skinny
- smart
- on the shyer side (link)
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tell him that you arent really sure of how you feel about him. if you tell him the truth you cant go wrong. leading him on ar not givnig him the opportunity would be the wrong way to go. just be honest, tell him you need some time to think about it. dont feel pressured to say yes or no. and once you figure out wat you want tell him.
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14/f
the guy that i REALLY like just asked out the girl he liked. he had asked her out before but she said no. so we had been flirting for about a month after this happened and we are in a lot of the same classes and we talk all the time. i thought things were looking good for me, when today he texted me and said he wasnt single any more. he had asked the girl out again and she had said yes.
so did i misread his actions? was he really interested in me or not? what happened? thanks in advance (link)
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maybe you misread his feelings for you. guys are very confusing. wat may seem to be a "sign" to us is often just a guy's way of being friendly. they sometimes dont mean to lead us on purposely. i went through the same thing. i would say to move on. its hard but there are plenty of other guys that would love to date you. i bet you are a pretty, smart, and funny girl that any guy would be lucky to have. =)anything you need you can leave a message in my inbox. good luck
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how can i get my top friends and my comments at the center of my page, like you see on the band sites. (link)
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there are spcial layouts for this type of thing. im not sure if this is what you are looking for exactly but you can run a google search for DIV layouts.
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But isn't it ridiculous for a best friend to treat me as sister? In this world I know there would be a slightly possibility about best friend being treated as a sister but is there other ways that I could actually find out whether he has gone beyond just becoming best friends? If he really treats me as so called sister, why would he wants to treat me so caring, protective and also flirts with me? I do not want to speak out what is in my mind where I can also risk my friendship between him. I'm afraid he might step back and not be any closer to me anymore than usual. By the way, will it be a conclusion that our friendship will not go beyond best friends when he say "its impossible for us to be together" or "I am not too good to be your boyfriend"? (link)
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i think he is confused about what he should do. i think it could be more than a friendship if he wanted it to be. it could work. and by a sister i mean he loves soo much but in a friendly way. maybe he does like you but doesnt really want a gf at the moment or is afraid it will mess your friendship. another possibility: ok this may sound weird but it happened to me. i was in the same exact situation as you detail for detail exactly the same. but then i realized he never asked me out because he was gay. or at least he was confused. but not anymore. i know this may seem outrageous but maybe he is gay.
also another girl suggested that the best way to tell if a guy that is sending you mixed signals feels about you is to kiss him. cheek would be better so that he isnt totally freaked out. his reaction to your kiss will make it obvious that he either like you or doesnt. well hope this helps.
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I read your reply in one of the questions and your reply is something similar to my situation I am having here. My best friend who is a guy started to care for me even more, flirts with me like saying "let's get together", gets the things that I want like a "doggie(doll) for my bday present" and etc after knowing that I actually love him. And lately he is being over protective over me. This happened last 2 weeks where one of his friends asked me whether I want to join them for a trip for 3 days 2 night and my best friend was there with me at that time. When my best friend heard that question, before I could answer anything.. he said "she can't go, she have to stay back here to study for her exam (my exam is like 2 months plus away). Why is he acting like he's my boyfriend or something cause I know a best friend will not do that right? The thing is r u sure he is not giving "sign" that he actually starting to love me? Is just that earlier when he knew I love him, he was just too confused about his feelings whether "should he risk the friendship between us if he goes over the boundary" and rejected my feelings towards him. Is your best friend like that too treating the same way as my best friend? And is there no possibility that we will not go beyond just best friends? (link)
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well your situation is slightly different than mine. in your case he actually doesnt want to risk the friendship. in my case he just doesnt want a commitment at all. and he does not like me at all. if he is being all protective than maybe he likes you. however maybe he just loves you so much as a sister. because then he would also be protective. its hard to know for sure but i think that you should talk to him about it. and if he rejects you again then you should move on. not talking to him could make you even more anxious to know how he feels. talk to him and see what happens. best of luck to ya. hope it works out =)and if it doesnt you have me if you ever need someone to talk to.
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well here is my problem i like this boy like alot and liked him for like i think a whole year and the first time i ask him out i found out he liked my friend and he said no. the second time i ask him out i found out he had a girlfriend and they broke up now the third time im ready to ask him out again i just dont know if i should or just let it go. and if i do go for it and he said no should i get over him and just move on!!
(link)
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i think you should ask him out the 3rd time. you really have nothing to lose. its not wrong for a girl to ask a guy out in my opinion. u r not pathetic at all. ask him out if he says no just move on. hey its tough but there are plenty of guys theres no point in wasting your time on one who doesnt like you. hope i helped. good luck.
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ok, so i was the person that asked about the 8th grader going out with a 6th grader
what did all the other people think of your friend? did they talk about her behind her back about like "that is too young" and stuff like that?
i know i am blowing this thing way out of proportion, but i really want to know (link)
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well some people are gonna talk about you but you have to be stronger than that. nobody thought my friend was weird or anything like that. i bet some people thought it was too young. but you know people always date up or down a few years. its not really that big of a deal. i understand your concern though. i say you go out with him. and if girls make fun of you its only because they are jealous or insecure. just be happy you like each other. =) good luck
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15/f
Well, I started high school this year at a new school so I didn't know anybody. But now I have friends and one that I'm really close to. He and I Instant Message all the time, flirt, hug... I can tell him personal things and he will confort me when I'm sad. he's awesome. But I love him. I have a huge crush on him. But since I knew he didn't/doesn't like me back, last night when the subject came up I said I used to like him but that I didn't anymore. And he's like, "but I liked being liked by you. :-(" I said he gave me the idea he didn't want me to like him. So we recalled an awkward conversation we had a few weeks ago that had ended with him saying, "Why does this have to affect our relationship as friends?" Then he asked if he broke my heart, I said yes, and he felt really bad about it. And I kept trying to tell him it ok because he can't help it if he doesn't like me the way I like him. But he says he feels like he led me on, then pulled the rug out from under me. Which, he did. But I was like, "no, no, it's my fault." But that's not really true. He DID led me on! A lot! But I don't want to tell him that because he already hates himself for hurting me. And it'll just make me feel like an idiot for thinking he could ever like me. Tonight we're going to the Spring dance at our school... and I'm scared I'm going to start crying. He mad me promise a while back that I'd save him a slow down. But now that I'm certain he doesn't ever wanna be more than friend, I'm scared I'll cry or things will be awkward. Our relationship is a mess now! What do I do? (link)
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yea i know how you feel. i am in love with my best friend too. it was all the same, hugging, flirting, everything. i told him i liked him as more than a frined. and then he led me on just the same and finally told me that he didnt feel the same way. he felt really bad about it he said it was all his fault. i told him it was ok and he told me he didnt want this to mess up our friendship.
so later i decided to get over him. then when someone asked if i still liked him, right in front of him i said not anymore. to this day he still thinks i dont like him. but he is still really flirty to me and it really hurts knowing he will never feel the same way about me. its not like guys try to be flirty some of them just are. to them its not flirting its just being friendly. but to us these are "signs" you know what i mean? everyday when i see him i just pray that he will like me but he doesnt. he sees me as a sister, as a best friend, but to me he is soo much more. i think that the friendship should not change either but the only way for that to happen is to give up all hope that he will ever see you as more than a friend. even if he flirts, hugs you, talks to you, and makes everything feel better. once you give up hope its easier to let go. i know i never want to let go of him i wish i could be with him so badly but it wont happen. as far as the school dance just try to have fun as friends. its hard not to cry but just hold it in. be strong. you will get through this. i promise.i bet you will still be the best of friends and the relationship will not be as awkward once you realize this. just telling you all of this makes me want to cry. but its ok we'll get through this. well i hope i helped. it feels good knowing that im not the only one going through this. if you want to talk more then you can always message me or ask me for my AIM. thanx in a way reading this is helping me too.
SAM
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Ok, so i like this guy that goes to my church. The problem is, he's 2 years younger than me. Im in 8th grade, and he's in 6th. But you see, he doesnt act like he's in 6th at all. Hes really mature, funny, and im pretty sure he likes me back. But I dont know why, but i care what other people think about me. Would it be too weird for a almost fresman in high school to go out with an almost 7th grader? I dontknow!! I dont want advice like, who cares what other people think, because I do!! I don't know what to do, Some people might think thats too young, but i dont know. What should i do?? (link)
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well my friend went out with a 6ht grader this year (we are in 8th grade) and really it was no problem. i have another friend, she is a freshman in college going out with a 10th grade guy. its not really a big deal unless you make it one. you shouldnt care, i get that people may think its kind of weird but hey you like him he likes you. its perfect. good luck. hope it works out and if anyone says something mean slap the crap out of then haha. jkjk
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14/f.ok. well...i think i'm ugly.pretty much every girl at my school in my grade (8th)is skinny and pretty. i'm a nice person, i have quite a few friends, and i talk to guys.. but i just feel like i'm ugly. i'm not kidding when i say this... every girl in the 8th grade has/have a boyfriend. i've never had a boyfriend. i know, i know, i just need to wait for the right guy to come around, but what if that never happens for me?? i'm 14 and i weigh 175. i don't look that big, but i kinda do.. i just want a guy that likes me for who i am and what i look like, but what if that guy never comes around?? do i need to loose weight? people tell me i'm pretty, and they like my clothes or w/e. but i just feel like there won't be a guy for me. what do i do??? help me please!! thanks a bunch!!! (link)
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hey
we all have insecurities. i havent had a bf either. it seems like every other girl in 8th grade has. but most guys dont care about looks too much. trust me there will be someone for you. i know its hard to be patient. i am not too good at being patient myself. and you are not fat. however if you want to lose weight im sure you can go on a perfectly healthy diet. im sure if you are told that you are pretty then you are pretty. and besides guys do love girls for whats on the inside. and you seem like a great person. im sure that one day you will find a nice guy that will love you just the way you are. i keep telling myself the same thing. heartbreak is something im used to but someday we will find someone special. i hope i helped. =)if you need anything else feel free to message me.
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So there's this guy that I happen to be really good friends with. Earlier this year he went out with my best friend, but broke up with her because he said he just didn't feel the same about her. a little while after they broke up, i started to like him...a lot! but just a few days ago, that same friend said that he told her that he liked her again, and now she likes him again. and just yesterday, she said he didnt like her anymore. confusing rite? well, i still really like him, and like i said, we're really good friends, but i want to be more than friends. a lot of people would just say, 'tell him how you feel, or get a friend to ask you' but does someone have any other creative ideas to find out if he likes me? (link)
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well ok i understand completely.
umm well he might like you but the most obvious thing would be of course flirting. the problem is that what may seem as flirting to you or me is actually a guy just trying to be friendly. but this can be misinterpreted as a "sign" that he likes you. some guys arent very sure of what they want.
it sounds like he is very confused about whether his relationship with her will work out and thats why he says different things, sometimes he likes her or sometimes he doesnt.the thing is maybe he just wants to be friends with you. i thought for the longest time that my best friend felt a certain way about me and then it turned out that he was just trying to be friendly because i am like a sister to him. and this maybe the case for you as well. i think you should talk directly to him. thats what i did. he explained that he didnt want a commitment and that he really values our friendship. trust me if he is really your friend he wont care if you like him. it wont ruin your friendship. if he does like you then thats great, if not than thats ok too. well im sorry if im bringing you down. thats not my intention at all. i would like to help you some more. so write me back if you feel the need to. i hope this helps. sorry im not very creative as far as other ways to tell him. you can flirt with him and see if he flirts back. if he does then maybe he likes you. anyways, good luck.
im here anything you need.
oh and im 14/f btw
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Okay so I always get these like really low self-essteem problems every once in a while. Like I dont feel smart at all. Im not good at any sports, which is why i do cross country. The only things I care about is how i look,clothes,money,make-up,fashion you know the material things in life. Im not the best at anything..IM SERIOUS..im not smart,im not athletic,i used to dance but i wasnt amazing. I just feel so dumb. I want to be intelligent and i dont want people to look at me like im some dumb pretty girl. What can i do to become smarter? I study hard for my tests and i still get C's on them and im not even taking advanced courses. Im 15 by the way. Please help me thankyou (link)
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hey yea i can relate. it stinks feeling like your not good at anything even when you try. before i used to care SO much to be perfect. i wannted to feel like i was good at something but it wasnt working. but then a new friend helped me see the world in a new way. he made me realize that material posessions and being the best isnt wat life is all about. so dont try so hard. be yourself. you are good enough as is. and you dont need anyone to tell you otherwise. no one is perfect and we all have our flaws. but its important to stay tru to ourselves. its hard but once you discover this life gets a lot easier. hope i helped. anything you need im here.
SAM
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