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lately ive been getting annoyed at my friends. They are great friends but sometimes..they get on my nerves. Like within our circle we have like 3 ppl who gossip..and i hate it. Then we have a couple people who never contribute in driving us anywhere..and its always me and a couple others driving. Its these little things that have been accumulating and now im getting angry. I feel like i want to find a new circle ..and my other friend agrees...she wants to also. But reality is..there isnt another circle and we do have good friends..what should i do? is this normal?
Hi,
Everyone gets annoyed with their friends from time to time. You say that your other friend is too, which is a good thing because it means that a. you're not going through it alone (which could make you really angry/annoyed etc) and have someone to talk about it to, and b. it proves that you're not crazy or nasty or whatever for being annoyed, because other people are too, (Did that make sense? Lol).
I think all you can really do is talk to your friends. Don't bring everything up at once, or yell at them, no matter how much you want to or get provoked, because they'll just feel like they're being attacked. Maybe next time you hear one of them gossiping, you could just say something along the lines of, 'hey...look, I know you like to gossip but I think it's kinda mean, so could you not do it, or at least not do it as much or around me? It's just that it's annoying me a bit because I don't agree with it, and I had to tell you because I don't want us to fall out over this' ?
You and the couple of others who drive everywhere could also refuse to drive a couple of times. If that doesn't get the message across, then tell the others who never drive how you feel.
It's normal to feel angry, especially as they're you're friends - you're probably angry with yourself for being angry with your friends, or feeling like you can't tell them so it just builds up. It'd be best if you could talk to them now before things blow up out of proportion.
And if your friends don't even listen to what you're saying, then they're not good enough friends anyway and you're better off without them.
Good luck, and I hope that helped and didn't waffle too much!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
ok this guy named john likes me and i like him and we both know it and what's the problem y dont we just go out? well he did ask me out and the problem is because my friend alexis went out with him and to all girls u know the "rules" dont go out with a guy your friend has gone out with. she knows that he likes me but nobody knows that i like him except for john because if word gets out she wont really be my friend. now this isn't about alexis and i dont want advice saying to dump alexis b/c she is a being selfish. john and me decided that we could just be friends or go out secretly. and i need to know which one to do. like go out with him secretly(without anyone finding out) or just be friends.
Talk it over with Alexis. You never know, she might be fine with it, and she definately deserves to know. If she doesn't accept it, give her time, and if she still doesn't, then you have to make a choice between her and John. Just remember that relationships tend to end and friendships don't. If you care about staying her friend, you'll tell her. Please, please don't keep her in the dark, and don't compromise your love life when you don't even know how Alexis will feel about it! Tell her - you don't know how she'll feel until you try.
I really hope everything turns out OK :) You're an absolute angel to think of not going out with John for the sake of your friend :D Alexis is lucky to have a friend like you!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
Hey...im a 14 year old bisexual and i want to have intercourse with the same sex...and i also want to tell my parents but i dont know how they will act... :( im kinda worried..
Signed..14 year old bi guy
Hi,
I think you're rushing into stuff a bit...you're only 14 and you're already talking about having sex and you don't seem to be in any kind of steady relationship (feel free to yell ay me if I'm wrong :P). I wouldn't tell your parents right now - I get the feeling that, at 14, they'd tell you that 'it's just a phase' or something along those lines. (I'm not saying it is, I just think that's what parents tend to say). Wait a couple of years, and if you still feel like this, then tell them, because they do need to know eventually...
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
i have this friend and we always hang out ....and mess around .........when i was scared at the movies ..becasue we wre watching a scayie movie ..he held my hand ....and at school he linked my arm with his ..and as he let go ...he grabed my hand ..i mean i like him ...i have alot of fun when i'm with him ...and some times i'll grab him by the hand ......when i say come on ....and he'll hold my hand .but for a like a couple of seconds....wat should i do .i like him..but i don't if he likes me or not .or is he just mesing with me
There's a big difference between holding hands and falling in love, just remember that before you decide anything. However, if you went to the cinema together and he held your hand, it does sound like he likes you!!
Just holding your hand every now and then can't be messing with you. Go for it!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
Alright there is these two guys... the first one is the one I lost my virginity to and I really care for him.. The second one I haven't done anything with him except hold hands....except when I hold his hand I can't stop thinking about my the first guy and Im not a player or a slut or anything but what should I do and do you think I still have feelings for the first guy
You could just be thinking about the other guy because you lost your virginity to him and you think that you SHOULD be thinking about him, purely for that fact. How do you feel when you think about him? If you think that how you feel is love, and not some kind of obligation, then forget the other guy and go for the 1st one! Don't let love pass you by :)
Good luck!! Could you message me on here (if you can...I dunno, I'm new :)) or email me at mitzirox1986@hotmail.com to tell me how it all goes? No worries if you don't want to though :D
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
This is pathetic and i would appreciate advice. I am 17 and really bad with getting a girlfriend. I have had girlfriends in the past and i am really good at relationships. See i have more girl friends then i do guy friends, get what i am saying? I really don hang out with alot of dudes. I dont know why dont ask why its just me. My friends are fine and we get along great but i just cant get a girl friend. I have heard "You're like a brother to me" and "I dont go for your type." Girls Like bad guys and that not me. I am not that bad looking and a great listener. I AM A GREAT CATCH. I just cant act like a dide around girls, its like a forgot how to flirt. Help Me get a girlfriend...PLEASE!
I don't want to sound mean, but dude, lose the ego!! Not all girls like bad guys, and girls DEFINATELY don't like guys who think they're great! Just be yourself and don't go looking for love - it'll find you when you least expect it. Let it ride for a bit.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
Hey, I'm just curious as to what you guys think about this. I was at callbacks today for an audition, and I ended up singing Marian with all the Harold Hills (we're doing Music Man) and I was fine, but all of a sudden, singing with this one guy (who is, by the way, an AMAZING actor) I started getting all shaky. Like, I didn't feel nervous, but I was shaking. Just for the record, I do have a boyfriend, so I wasn't nervous about singing with a cute guy or whatever. I also never get stage fright. I'm sure what happened is normal...lol. I just want to know why you guys think that happened then instead of at the beginning of singing with them.
Just because you have a boyfriend, doesn't mean you don't think cute guys are exactly that, cute!! Lol. It could be that you did think he was cute - you even pointed that out yourself - or just nervous that you won't live up to his standard, or even his personal expectations (if he thinks everyone should be as good as him or whatever).
Whatever it is, I'm sure you're a brilliant singer and I hope your audition came off well!
Blessed Be.
Rach xxx
Do you think it is possible to find "The One" you are going to be with for the rest of your life in highschool?
It's perfectly possible, and does happen, but not very often...you've just got to remember that you have your whole life ahead of you and to not expect everyone you meet to be 'The One', because 99% of them are going to fall short of your expectations - after all, there is only one 'One!'
Good luck!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
i am a 36 yr old mother of 2 boys ages 10 and 3. my mother who has been married 3 times, with her third marriage adopted a special needs baby about 2 1/2 years ago. now, i know that that is a comendalble thing, but i still have a problem with this whole thing. she decided to adopt the boy shortly after i had my second son. my son was about 3 months old when she announced that she was going to get into foster care. well, that was great. so, the first child she gets to foster is a special needs boy named charlie. he has a shunt, spina bifida, and is paralized from the knees down. Not long after she has him in her home, i begin notice that she is becoming very attached to charlie(naturally so). i asked her if she was considering adopting him , and she stated "that's a life changing decsion, and she would have to discuss it with everyone in the family before a decsion of that magnitude would be made". ok that was fine. well, about 2 weeks later she called me and annoced that they were adopting charlie. i told her that i didnt think that was a wise desicion condidering her husband is 72, and she is 58, and this baby would be a life long challenge. in addition to these factors, who would care for chalrie, when they pass? also, the state care worker told her that he wold be adopted immediatly, because even though he ahs special needs, he was a whilte baby and they were adopted quickly. she took my advise as offensive and told me in a spiteful way that they were adopting him! end of phone conversation. i just didnt get it. here i have two beautiful children, who despitatly needed a grandmother, and she would'nt give them her love and time before. i even spoke with her before the adopiton about spending time with my children, because i felt she really did'nt--because she did'nt. why wasent being a grandmother enough? so, i didnt speak to her for a year. well, we've reconciled since. but i still have a problem with this whole thing. its just to weird. everything she does is about charlie. she spends no time or attention with her own grandchildren at all. she's constantly going to physical therapy, and devoting every minute of the day for this child. now, dont get me wrong, these are things you would do, to take care of a child. that s not the problem. the problem is, i believe you cant be a goof grandmothe and a mother at the same time. also, i cant believe she didnt value you me or my opinion enough to ask my opinion first. i mean she didnt have to listen to me, but she could of at leat talked with me about it. they have burned so many bridges in our family. my step brother with 2 kids has recently just cut off ties with them for this same reason. they were hurt as i as well because my mother has maybe 1-2 pictures of her grandchildren, but the house is filled with pictures of charlie. i just feel that she did'nt consider anyones feelings not even charlies when she did this. i'm sure i look like the awful jealous daughter, but its not like that. although i will admidt i am jealous fo my chlidren. for the attention i think they deserve, from a grandma the will never have. should i cut all ties from my mother, or continue to pretend to everythings ok? talking toi her is not an option, because she will not want to hear that she may be wrong.
thank you
traci
Ask yourself if you could really deal with never speaking to your mother, ever again, for the rest of your life?
It sounds like she has a huge attachment to Charlie, and that's understandable. Maybe she feels like she has to be needed, and Charlie needs her more than anyone else?
Maybe you could suggest days out all together, like picnics in the park or a family trip to the beach? Or even suggest she takes your kids out to the cinema or something? It might remind her what she's missing.
As a last resort, I'd tell her that she's going to end up with her grandchildren hating her if she's never around. My father was never around and I don't talk to him now - your kids will most likely be the same with their grandma when they get a bit older.
Perhaps you could show her this site and your question to show how much this is affecting all of you?
Good luck, I really hope everything turns out OK for you.
And, btw, you didn't sound jealous :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
i'm a freshman in high school. so is my friend, kendra. she's dating a senior at our school. they have been dating since the day after christmas.. i talk to kendra almost day, and all she talks about is her boyfriend. my friends and i can't take her talking about him all the time - like them having sex, and all this other worthless crap. we want to talk to her, but we don't know what to say.. ya mind helpin?
Hi,
My friend is Caroline exactly the same, only she is forever talking about her ex!!
When you say 'my friends and I', I assume you have all discussed how annoying Kendra is getting? Keeping secrets - especially ones that are kind of against one member of a friendship - are never a good idea and can cause huge rifts. Maybe she doesn't know she's doing it?
I think you should just come out and say, 'hey, Kendra, your boyfriend sounds really great and all, and we do like hearing about how happy you are, but not all the time, OK?'.
You know, I think that's rather good advice and I may just go and try it out on my friend!! :P
Good luck xxxx
I have a friend that i have none for a bout 2years and I think i am developing feelings for him however he is with a good friend of mine wut the hell should i do!!-
Hi!
You say you 'think' you're 'developing' feelings for him? Personally I think that 'think' and 'developing' aren't good enough excuses to wreck a relationship. If you knew you were in love with him, I'd suggest talking it over with your friend, but until then...
But either way, I would mention it to your friend that you like her boyfriend, before things get out of hand. I've seen my friends go through this, and it's not pretty. Whatever happens, make sure the girlfriend is never kept in the dark. She'll get over you liking her boyfriend or even going out with him, eventually, but she'll never get over you lying to her. It'd be hard to tell her, but if you don't and you did end up dating this guy and she didn't know, she'd never forgive you. If you respect her at all, as soon as you think something might happen between you and this guy, you'll tell her.
I hope that helped!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx