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i've been with my boyfriend for over three years. i love him and he loves me, but we're past the "infatuation phase". sometimes he takes me for granted and doesn't always show how much he loves me, but he's never been the romantic type, so i can understand. plus i'm his first "real" girlfriend, so he isn't as experienced with romance as other guys i dated in the past have been, and what i was used to back then (now i've grown comfortable with the way my current boyfriend is and all that, though).

my question is, is it terrible that i flirt and am most likely going to hangout with one of his friends that has gone away for college? the friend has admitted to having feelings for me, and i can't help but wonder what it'd be like if i dated him. and when some of his other guy friends tell me they wouldn't mind hooking up with me, i wonder about things like that too.

i am totally happy with my relationship, and i love my boyfriend with all my heart. is it bad that i think about the possibility of being with someone else, (even though i know they could never bring me the happiness my boyfriend does)?

There is nothing wrong with thinking or fantasizing about it.

However I do think it is very wrong to flirt with his friend though. In general flirting while in a relationship is not that great. It can lead people on, and guys often have trouble interpreting those signals (often for good reason too I might add).

I also think its particularly wrong because it is his friend, and because he has admitted he has feelings for you. That means that you would categorically be leading him on. It is the sort of thing that can really blow in your face.

It is also incredibly unfair to this guy, who will think that he has a chance with you. You would be using him to stroke your own ego essentially.

That being said, I dont envy your boyfriend for his friends. If you are loyal to him I would let him know what they have said to you. No one should have friends that hit on their girlfriends. That sort of lack of loyalty will manifest itself in other areas too. He is better off without them.

Good luck.

17/f. I'm not the best athlete, but I run as much as I have time for (between 5-10 miles per week). I ran a 5k this year and want to improve overall for next year.

I've heard that athletes shouldn't eat much red meat. That's not hard for me- but the problem is that I want to get all the nutrients I need (like iron) while still eating the protein and carbs that I need. I tend to gravitate to fruit and grains (oatmeal, bread, bagels, pasta, etc) most of the time. That's definitely not a balanced diet.

So, here's the question... what can I eat (other than bread and fruit) that will be healthy and give me energy? Can I eat red meat, chicken, turkey, or ham? And finally... I'm not completely opposed to going vegetarian if that would be absolutely best for my workout... so if that is my only option, does anyone have any tips/thoughts on that?

Hey there,

Eating a balanced diet that is suitable for sports performance is not as hard as you may think. They key is to vary your diet, to stick to wholesome unprocessed foods, to limit your intake of empty calories, and to limit your intake of saturated fats (fats found in animal products).

So, while it follows that you can become a vegetarian (something I would always encourage for ethical reasons), it does in no way mean that you need to become one.

Good protein sources include: Chicken, turkey, lean beef, fish (particularly tuna), eggs (in moderation), egg whites (as many as you want), low fat cottage cheese, skim milk, protein powders, etc.

Good carb sources include: Oats, basmati rice, whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, fruit, grains, etc.

Good fat sources include: Oily fish, nuts, seeds, olive oil, canola, flax oil/ seeds, olives, etc. (of these good sources of omega 3- which must be consumed daily- include oily fish, flax, walnuts... or of course one can get it through fish oil or omega 3 capsules).

On top of this vegetables are an essential source of vitamins, minerals, and fibre. They should be consumed daily.

It actually sounds as though your diet is fairly decent. Of the things you mentioned I would aim to exclude bagels and ham. With the rest its just a question of the right proportions. You can do this by feel, or you can try to use a formula if you want.

One example of this is ISSA's 1-2-3 rule. With this formula 1 part of your calories comes from fats, 2 from protein, and 3 from carbs (there are 9 cals to each g of fat and 4 cals to each gram of carb/ protein). So for a hypothetical 2000 calorie diet the distribution would be 37g fat, 167g protein, and 250g of carbs.

On top of this I would also recommend that you take a multi vitamin pill every morning.

Good luck.

I'm 17 F/145lbs.
I'm not fat, I'm pretty strong for a girl, so muscle weighs more then fat. But I do have the "lower tummy fat" and would like to get rid of it. How?
Regular crunches aren't working. What are some ways to get that lower fat gone.
Ab things I could do in my room?
If you lost a bunch of weight, how did you do it. My stomach is for the most part, flat, but that little fat area, I would want that to be gone.
Also my hips are kinda big I think its fat, how can I make that gone too?

I'll be going on a diet with my boyfriend here next month, and until then we are running about everyday, and riding bikes. thanks

Fat loss cannot be targetted through exercise. It is not humanly possible despite the rampant myth.

The answer to your question is (unfortunately) very simple. You can only do it by lowering your overall body fat percentage. Genetics will determine if one area is emphasised over another.

To promote sustainable weight loss you need a good balanced diet that is a few hundred calories a day less than you burn. Starting by eliminating all the "crap" is a good idea (i.e. things with sugar added, things with significant amounts of saturated fats, processed foods, etc.).

Exercise of all sorts is great, but cardio is the most important. So, what you are doing with the running and biking is very, very good. If you want to incorporate other exercises, dont just focus on the abs. For best results try to work as many muscle groups as possible.

Good luck.

How many caloriees do you need to eat to lose weight?

Well, for most people, approximately 500 calories a day less than you burn. If you are very overweight you can increase this number.

To figure out how much you burn requires some trial and error. However here is a site that will give you an approximation:
http://www.internetfitness.com/calculators/bmr.htm

These kinds of formulas are an ok place to start, but use them as a guideline not as absolute truth. They can only vaguely approximate the calories you burn through daily activities. So, see how the weight loss progresses and then tweak your calories up and down depending on whether it is too slow or too fast. Ideally 1 to 2 pounds a week is ideal for most people.

what exactly is going on with oil? why is the price going up? are we running out? (sorry i live under a rock) and is that why the american dollar is losing its value? what countries are slowly rising to the top?

Well I do agree with a lot of the answer below, but I wanted to add a few things.

First off, the global oil supply is dwindling. To my knowledge (and admitedly I am not an expert) the amount of oil that the US might pump out of restricted areas will only somewhat postpone the inevitable. Within the next 100 years many of the world's top oil producing nations will have depleted their supply. The amounts produced in the middle east should be no match for what one might drill out of the protected areas.

Check out this link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oil_supplies

Scroll to the table that shows reserve life and compare how many more barrels of oil are pumped out of Saudi Arabia compared to the US (its more than tenfold).

Not to say that new drilling wont affect the price. However the high prices should be here to stay, and within the next decades will probably get worse. Definately time to look towards alternative energy sources.

Now as far as currency issues are concerned, I must say I always found that to be quite a headache back in university. As far as I understand (and keeping it ludricrously simple), the weakened dollar is a symptom of, amongst other things, a weakened economy with a significant current account deficit. The latter involves a number of things including the country's exports vs imports (which in this case are disbalanced towards imports). Here is another link if you want to learn more.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Current_account

As for which countries are rising to the top, well that can be a rather complex question. Certainly Asia has seen a lot of growth in the last years. Particularly China and India have shown some of the most dramatic development with their cheap and highly skilled work force (thats the main reason we outsource so much to them). Part of the reason that the world oil supply seems even lower is because these countries are beginning to demand it on par with the developed world. And their populations are very, very high.

Oil producing nations are also seeing record profits with today's prices. However, what makes this question tricky is that growth is relative. Economists are obsessed with growth and you will constantly hear statements like "Romania has had a 6% GDP growth". But this often does not tell you how far they still have to go (6% of what?).

Anyhow, many Asian countries (particularly China and India, also Singapore as mentioned below, but also lesser known places like Vietnam), and many Eastern European nations have experienced a lot of growth in the last years. Latin American destinations like Brazil are also being perceived as attractive locations for outsourcers and investors, and this promotes economic growth.

Hope this helps, even if it is a little muddled.

ok so im starting to feel the pressure of having to decide what i want to do. im 16/f/junior. and well i know what i like, but i guess i dont know all the possibilities out there, which makes it hard for me to make a decision.
ive always been artistic and such so i would love to do something with that.
then on the other hand im good at math and history and would also be able to do well in jobs dealing with that.
other thing is i LOVE traveling, and i know jobs dont necessarly mean traveling for fun, i still would like a job where i could travel. or at least live in a different country every few years or so...
and ofcourse you have to consider the whole money thing...
HELP???? does anyone know what type of jobs related to the things i mentioned would fit me and allow me to travel.
THANKS!!!

oh and im really good with languages i speak 3 and am learning my 4th and i find it easy so i would be able to adapt well...

What about a career in marketing/ sales in a multinational corporation?

Marketing and sales people are essentially the face of the company. They are often sent around travelling to different countries to meet important partners, clients, suppliers etc. The more languages one can speak the better. It will even tap into your artistic side if you are involved in designing advertisements, promotional campaigns, presentations, logos, etc.

This sort of job is usually well paid and can open a lot of doors. Your will have many different career advancement opportunities. It does of course require that you are very good at meeting, communicating and dealing with new people. You should definately be an extrovert.

Good luck.

Female 21.
I moved in oct to fl. I made friends fast and had been flirting with this guy for months. Finally I had to move and moved into a house with my new friends two brothers and ones girlfriend and two other guys. The brother(21) without a GF is the guy i had been flirting with for months. We finally hooked up (no drinking involved) He said he didnt want to date anyone but wanted to try new things since he never had a gf he was pretty innocent with alot of things and that was fun to me. I was ok with this. Then every now and then we would have sex(no drinking), months later he started having this other girl come over and hooked up with her. Since it was bothering me i new i was getting attached. So we disscussed this and i stated no more sex.He didnt really want to stop but he didnt want a commitment. It was fun but now it was over. Well now everytime i get drunk and come home from the bar i brush my teeth and he comes into our bathroom and i end up having sex then going to my room. Hes not nice he dosnt want me to sleep in his bed even though the other girls do. Sometimes i dont even remeber. But my roomies tell me they told me not to.Now I cant figure out how to stop having sex with him. I tell him i dont want to and i tell everyone in the house not to let me. but when i drink i come on to him and he dosent tell me no. Any advice?

Ok you are going to hate my answer. Before I tell you what I think, I just want to point out that I am not preaching to you. I have enjoyed nights out that involve drinking for many years, so I have no issue with an adult indulging in that way.

However, if when you drink you cannot control something as basic as this, you should not be drinking. Its not even that you made one mistake, you repeatedly make the same mistake and regret it afterwards. That means that when you drink, your reasoning is so impaired that you cannot even follow through on something that you have promised yourself over and over to avoid.

Another thing that is worrying is that you wrote that you sometimes dont even remember. That is usually considered a sign that one should lay off the alcohol. Small memory gaps are one thing, but having entire portions of your evening black out, is not a good thing at all.

Now, you can tackle this any way you like. However if you have this little self control when you drink I think it is completely reckless to keep doing it at least in those sort of quantities.

I just wanted to comment on your answer to the "Faith and Reason" question. First of all, I respect your thoughts and opinions, but I did want to clarify.

The difference between Christianity and all the other religions out there is relationship. Every religion is driven with the idea that they have to "DO" something in order to somehow "EARN" their way to heaven. There are many people who claim to be Christian and have no clue what being a Christian even is and they too think they need to perform.

But true Christianity is having a relationship with God through Jesus and faith is required. I believed first, then I saw this truth. It saddens me that the word Christian is so flippantly tossed around because it is obviously giving the wrong idea to so many.

I think I didn’t express myself all that well. Let me just try to clarify my references to Christianity.

I did not mean to say that Christianity is the same as other religions from the point of view of what is required of the believer or what it teaches. Every religion is different there, and since there have been so many throughout time I would not even begin to try to guess whether it is similar to others in this respect.

To be fair though, Christianity does ask more than just a relationship to God. The Ten Commandments clearly define rules by which we should lead our lives. However, I am getting off point. All of this is totally irrelevant from the point of view I was approaching the question.

In the end it does not matter whether a religion asks you to have a relationship, to go to church, to go to war, or even to make live sacrifices. The only thing that matters is if that religion is the true one. Obviously it would be nice if the hypothetical "true religion" also happens to be a nice religion, but that is not really in our hands.

So looking at other religions and realising that Christianity may or may not have some good qualities is totally irrelevant. That’s going about it backwards. The real question, the only question, is what concrete proof is there that these teachings are correct?

That was basically what I was trying to say in my answer (amongst other things). Because of this I actually made an effort to avoid too many direct references to Christianity, since there is no good reason why it deserves more or less attention than any other faith (and I am including here not just the major religions, but every little tiny tribal belief that has existed throughout time). The references that slipped through are there because the question itself dealt with Christianity.

I could write a religion tomorrow. It could have all the most wonderful ideas and teachings, and it could possibly appeal to millions. I could make it caring, friendly, compassionate, and humane. In a head to head comparison it may wipe the floor with today's major faiths. If I market it correctly I bet I could even get followers that "simply believe” in their heart of hearts. In the end however, I would have done little to prove the existence of my deity or deities. Sadly however, I would have offered as much evidence as any other religion past or present.

So, as I said, the actual teachings, the beliefs, the way the believers conduct themselves, etc. are irrelevant to me. These are all things that should be considered after one has determined the truthfulness of the religion.

I was raised Catholic and attended a private Catholic school from Pre-K through my senior year of high school. I just graduated in May.

Despite my Catholic upbringing, I am largely agnostic. I find Christians to be largely (though not completely) a hypocritical bunch crippled by Earthly desires. It pains me to watch churches around my hometown make multi-million dollar renovations, when that extreme sum of money could be used to benefit the poor of the world.

My biggest struggle: Christians will tell you that faith alone will save you. You need to have faith. Blahblahblah.
What if I CANNOT bring myself to believe? I have explored Christianity till I'm blue in the face. I am an intelligent, college-bound free-thinker and at this point in my life, I can't believe in God. If I were born with a less rebellious, more accepting nature, there is a good possibility that I would not have rebelled or questioned my religious upbringing and would still be Christian today.

What am I supposed to do? Pretend? I can go to church, read the Bible, pray yet I am unable to bring myself to believe in something I truly know does not exist.

If God gave me this personality, would he really damn a person to hell for being unable to believe because it went against their nature and conscience?

Of course you should not pretend. Nor should you in any way whatsoever feel guilty about your doubts.

I went through a similar experience to yours when I was younger. I came to a few conclusions.

First of all, I dont see why religion is given such leeway. Every other theory, every other philosophy must prove its point of view. Religion for some reason is exempt from this requirement (at least to most people). There is no good reason for this (you will also notice I speak of religion in general- there is also no good reason to award Christianity a higher status over all the other beliefs out there).

Secondly, take a careful look around the world. There are a lot of religions out there, each one of them claiming to be the absolute truth, and each one not offering one ounce of evidence. Now, look carefully and notice how most people raised in those cultures "truly believe". Each one is convinced that, due to a deep feeling they cant really explain, their path is the true one. Odd how these feelings seem to correspond to the same religion that they were raised with- the same religion that the children were bombarded with, and maybe even made to fear, from a very young age.

Third, you will notice in every religion a certain man-made quality. Huge flaws or gaps in science, major inconsistencies, etc. They might explain rain in terms of God's mood, or they might place the Earth in the centre of the universe. As time goes by religious followers must continuously strain the interpretation of their religion to fit the new discoveries.

From the dawn of time humans have had religions. It is probably a result of our need to have all the answers combined with our need to believe that our lives are not finite. The former is a classic one... just try and argue with a religious believer and you will, sooner or later get something that sounds like "Well, how else can you explain xxxxxxx?" As though not knowing something justifies believing in magic.

Irrespective of what you eventually decide to do, you should not feel bad about thinking outside the box that society wants to confine us to. I hardly think its fair to use a word like "rebel" for deciding to think for yourself.

Also, dont fall for the fear tactics. In Christianity when all else fails people still hang on to it for fear of going to hell (your last sentence has probably been thought by millions of others throughout time). I see no reason to fear hell anymore than fearing any of the hundreds of other places of damnation that we have invented over the millennia.

Good luck.

hi, im starting high school in 4 weeks and i want to loose a lot of weight before the first day. I know it might seem impossible but i want to loose like around 20 pounds. Does anyone have any easy dieting plans? (:

Its not that it seems impossible, it is impossible. At least if you want the weight loss to be fat. If you are willing to settle for water weight and muscle loss, then you can get nearer to your target. Of course, by losing muscle you will look a lot worse, and you will screw up your metabolism which will lead to a lot of fat gain.

If you truly dont care about the way you lose weight, and if all you care about are the numbers, then the fastest way is... : amputation. Have a doctor remove an arm or a leg. Thats 20lbs in no time at all.

Seriously though, if you want proper weight loss tips that involve realistic targets, just let me know. For now the answer to your question is that it just cannot be done in a way that anyone (including yourself) would consider beneficial.

I'm a girl so, I'm not sure if your the right person to ask about this but I read your information and hopefully you can help.

I'm 18, I have never been a very thin or skinny girl. I am pretty tall (about 5'8 or 5'9), and I have very big bones and features... Literally. I have about size 9 feet, my shoulders are very wide and not petite, big palms, long fingers, very wide hips and so on...

My question is about getting into shape. I'm very worried that even if I try to do any exercises that I will start to look more buff or masculine like a grown man. Now, as a girl I really don't want that. I've been dancing since I was little (off and on) and I have very big calf's and thighs. I can't even wear boots that go to the calf's because they are way to big but it's, from what I've been told, mostly muscle.

Do you have any suggestions for me? I already feel like I am a giant sometimes, I don't want to work out and look like a body builder too... And, I know there are people taller and bigger than I am but I'm not doing it for anyone but myself and wanting to feel good about me.

(Sorry it's so long and I just gave you a description of myself I just thought it'd be useful?)

Hey there. Well, getting into shape can mean many different things. Weight training is not mandatory as part of being in shape, so if you are worried about looking big, just avoid it.

What about focusing on cardiovascular work? One of the most important things about being in shape is being healthy. From that perspective, cardio is probably the most essential thing you can do. If I were you I would start doing steady, moderate intensity cardios every second day or so (stuff like biking, jogging, stair machines, etc). Go for about 20 mins. Then as you get fitter you can increase the length and frequency if you like. However the 20 mins will give you most of the health benefits.

If the intensity is kept fairly low, you should not get bulky muscles. These usually come about when the exercise that one performs has an anaerobic component (e.g. strength or explosive elements). Most sports have this, and I would assume that many types of dancing do too.

Of course, if you lose weight your existing muscles may become more visible, but thats something else.

Good luck.

Oh and btw, I know I am a guy and its not the same thing, but I have enormous, gigantic calfs too. Mine come from years of being overweight coupled with a love for explosive sports. I cant even wear knee braces, because if they are large enough to get over my calfs, they will be completely loose around my knees :D

so i want to go on a diet, im in pretty good shape right now but the problem is instead of getting leaner, my muscles get bulkier. I heard that if you eat less meat and more vegetable and such it will help make your muscles small while still being strong and eating healthy.
is this true?

thankyou
Kat, 16/f

Not really no. If you don't eat enough protein you will lose muscle and therefore get weaker.

The only thing that can influence the actual size of the muscles themselves is the type of exercise that you do. Anaerobic exercise will yield bigger muscles than aerobic exercise for example.

If you are losing weight though it should be very hard for you to actually gain any sort of muscle mass irrespective of what you eat. Normally for any substantial gains you need a calorie surplus, while when you are on a diet you have a calorie deficit. Of course, by dropping your body fat percentage your muscle will become more visible and defined.

I noticed your advice page, and saw that you'd answer questions about ethics, so I decided to ask you.

I'm 15, and in school I have one Ethics lesson per week.
Just had my first year of ethics, but I don't understand it.

What exactly is the point of ethics? Is it good?
I feel like I've just wasted a year discussing things about other religions.
(Because that's what we did in class)

Can you help me here?

Thank you in advance.

Hey there. Beware, this will be long. So long in fact I decided to give it headings, so you know what’s what (and can ignore parts of it if you want).

What is ethics?

Ethics essentially is the attempt to understand what makes an action right or wrong. Studying ethics is all about understanding and improving the parameters which we use to make decisions. It emphasises consistency and logic, and it challenges the very foundation of our decision making process.

Religious morality vs ethics

I am surprised you used up a year debating religions. Normally religious morality is not really a very important part of the philosophy of ethics. Sure, religions offer their own philosophies, but they do not allow them to be challenged.

To philosophers a true theory must provide a scenario where it can be disproved. For example, if I say "all things fall when dropped", I can be disproved whenever something does not fall. Religious arguments are circular, and therefore worthless to philosophers. No matter what happens, whether good or evil or in between, it is the will of God.

To quote one of the most eminent philosophers of our time, Peter Singer, "Ethics has no necessary connection with any particular religion, nor with religion in general... We have no need to postulate gods who hand down commandments to us, because we understand ethics as a natural phenomenon that arises in the course of the evolution of social, intelligent, long- lived mammals who posses the capacity to recognise each other and to remember the past behaviour of others." ("Ethics", edited by Peter Singer, 1994).

How does ethics improve our lives?

The thing about ethics is that it really is more of a process than a concrete goal. You continuously refine your thoughts and beliefs, you challenge yourself with theoretical scenarios, and in the process you become a better person. Suddenly you have concrete tools with which to tackle moral dilemmas in every day life. You no longer wing it, you know where you stand and you know how to approach a problem. Your decisions therefore become wiser and more consistent.

An example of one of the oldest ethical debates

I thought I would give you a very brief intro into one of the most fundamental questions in ethics, as an example of the sort of thinking that is involved. If you already talked of this in class, then just skip it :)

One of the oldest questions in ethics is "do consequences matter when determining whether an action is right or wrong?"

There are two broad schools of thought here, namely the consequentialists and the non consequentialists.

The former argue that ethics depends entirely on the outcome of the action. If I am about to do something, I must ask myself how my actions affect the people around me. I then tally up the positive and the negative, and if the action is largely positive, it is ethically correct (for both of these there are many different approaches, but I will just keep it basic for now).

The latter argue that consequences are irrelevant. An action is right or wrong based on a predetermined set of ideals. For example, Kant argued that before performing any action, you should ask yourself how this would fare if it were a universal law. If everyone always acted this way, how would the world look? If the answer is positive then its a good action. If it is negative then it is a wrong action.

Lets take an example. You borrowed money from a person promising to pay him back. When the time comes you have the money but you are able to do something else with it, essentially breaking the promise. Should you do it?

Consequentialists would ask "what are you going to do with it?" If the benefits outweigh the negative impact of breaking a promise then its ok (how you determine this varies... maybe you really really want that new car, or maybe you have a unique chance to rescue starving children).

On the other hand Kant would argue that it is always wrong. His universal law approach would lead us to envision a world where no one would trust anyone, because the value of the promise itself would be lost. Therefore, because you gave your word, the action is fundamentally wrong, irrespective of what you want to do with the money.

Ok, I admit this barely scratched the surface, and you have many many sub groups under consequentialists and non consequentialists. Everything from hedonistic utilitarianism to contract ethics. I do hope however that I have at least conveyed some of the mental challenges that one will face in ethics.

Conclusion

Ethics is all about finding where you stand and continuously challenging your position. It influences personal thought, your interaction with others, and the laws by which we govern our society. Ethics is always one step ahead of the law, and philosophers are always pushing to improve the system. Ethical thought has played an important role throughout history, and it has helped fight racism, sexism, and now speciesm. In every era it has challenged the status quo, bringing radical new approaches and ways of thinking.

If any of this seems even remotely interesting to you, I strongly encourage you to have a look at some texts. You may never think the same way again :)

Good luck, and sorry this went on for as long as it did.

can anyone who knows alot about eatting healthy and, or on diet plans help me please. i want to loose thirty pounds. i've decided to start eatting healthy and i need to know what foods i should eat. i need to know what foods can give the protein, iron, fiber, carbs and vitemins i need. also if you can give me tips, those are also appreciated. i also would like to know how to cook foods so that they're healthy like for example chicken. also if you are on weight watchers, can you tell me what foods are the lowest pointers? also if you are good with loosing weight, please give me some pointers.
i'm 5'8 and weigh 128, i know i'm skinny, i just need to loose the weight in my butt and thigh area. i look like a stick with a speed bump.

Hey there. A few thoughts. First, you cannot lose weight from your butt and thigh area alone. Humans dont work this way. Genetics will determine from where the weight is lost first.

Second 30 pounds at your weight sounds like a hell of a lot. I will give you a sound eating plan below, since that is important irrespective of whether one is losing weight or not. But I do urge you to be sensible and not push yourself too hard.

I have never tried weight watchers, so I cannot comment on that (other than to say that with a sensible plan you can do it on your own).

So here goes:

Good sources:
- Good protein sources include: chicken (skinless), turkey (skinless), tuna, lean beef, low fat cottage cheese, egg whites, skim milk in moderation, etc.
- Good fat sources (which must be included in small amounts daily- both to help weight loss and for your general health): oily fish, unsalted nuts (particularly walnuts), seeds, good oils (e.g. olive oil, canola, flax), dark leafy vegetables.
- Good carb sources (eaten in moderation, and very little later on in the day): oats, dark rice, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat bread, fruit,etc.

General diet tips:
- Learn to eat frequently with controlled portions. Start with 4 or 5 meals a day and see how it goes.
- Each meal should contain a good protein source and a good carb source. For at least a couple of the meals also add a good fat source. For your last meal (the one closest to bed time) drop the carbs. Here are some typical meal examples:
Breakfast: 50g oats in skim milk and a piece of fruit; an egg, three egg whites, a slice of whole wheat bread and a piece of fruit; etc.
Other meals during the day: 100g of any lean meat or fish, 50g of rice/pasta, salad made with good oil or just some vegetables; 200g low fat cottage cheese, a few unsalted nuts, a piece of fruit (without the fruit this is a typical bedtime meal);
- At breakfast throw in a multi vitamin pill.
- Eliminate foods that have are high in saturated fats (that includes more or less all full fat animal products), and stuff with sugar added to it (most commerical cereals, soft drinks, etc.).

Now the size of the portions and the overall amount of food need to be tweaked to your activity level. I have already put sizes that I think will probably be ok, at least if you are active. A little trial and error is good here, and you can always increase the amount you burn by throwing in some cardio work like biking/ running/ etc (highly recommended not just for weight loss).

How to cook:
- For the most part stick to things that do not require additional fat. Baking, barbequing, steaming, etc.
- If you must fry something use olive oil.
- Beware premade sauces and dressings. Read the labels. Sometimes they will make a low fat dressing taste better by adding sugar.

Here is a link to the recipe section of a bodybuilder site:
http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/forumid_31/tt.htm

You can find a lot of good healthy ideas here, both simple and more elaborate.

Good luck

I just recently started a good exercise plan for me.
Eating healthier, biking for an hour every day, running for a half hour, crunches, etc.

I'm actually sticking to it.
But I'm not really worried about losing weight, I just want a flatter stomach.

I'm 5'8 and weigh like 140.
I just want a flat stomach.
Can someone give me a PLAN, a good one, to work with my plan I already have now?
Thanks.

EDIT:

Well, achieving a flatter stomach is all about reducing your overall body fat level.

What you are doing now sounds good. Its quite a lot of exercise, but if you are fit enough to do it then its ok.

I can offer a few ideas:

1. To target the fat stores directly, try doing unfueled cardios, i.e. cardio workout in the morning before breakfast. You dont have to do this (I for one dont), but its a tested technique which bodybuilders often use when cutting.

2. If you can/ want to, add some weight training. This helps preserve your muscle mass while losing weight, essentially protecting your metabolism from dropping. Weights are often underestimated in their contribution to the fat loss process. Again, its not mandatory, but it helps.

3. As far as specific exercises go, the more muscle groups you work the better. Training the abs is of course good, but you will get better results if you focus on your other major muscle groups as well. Things like squats, presses, rows, etc. are good exercises to incorporate if you have the time.

4. Watch your diet. This will make or break your efforts. I answered a pretty comprehensive weight loss question earlier today so I think its easiest just to link you to it:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545579

5. Remember to get plenty of rest, both in the form of at least 1 rest day per week as well as getting plenty of sleep at night.

(Old message)
I do want to add a few things. Getting a flatter stomach is all about weight loss. It can only be achieved with an overall reduction in body fat. Just so you are aware of how things work since most people think they can isolate from where to lose the fat.

The other thing is, if you are training your stomach, I would also recommend training your lower back. Training one side of your body only will lead to bad posture, which in turn will lead to back problems etc. In general its always a good idea to train agonist and antagonist muscle groups. Have a look at this article:

http://www.iposture.com/learn_fh_agonist-antagonist.php

Good luck. I will edit more info here as soon as I know what you want :)

I guess I'm wondering... do you think people's real feelings come out when they are drunk? Since they are more laid back and don't have as much of a fear reflex? There's more of a story but I wanted opinions on this question too.
I, and a boy I have developed slight feelings for, do not drink at home. We went on a school trip to Germany together, where it is legal to drink at our age... I didn't drink enough for it to affect me but he was a little drunk. I was cold and he told me I could sit on his leg and he would keep me warm unless it was too awkward, and I did. He kept asking me like "are your legs cold?" and then he would like rub them a little to keep them warm... and if my hands were cold... He also asked "what would your boyfriend think about this?" (we were like in the process of breaking up at the time) to which I replied "I don't know, it doesn't matter" and he just said yea. I know from what I've seen that (guys at least) seem a little more um touchy-feely when they've been drinking... but do you think this could be any little hint at liking me at all? Or should I not even really consider it because he was drunk?
Thanks.

First off, I dont really agree with the answer below. Your real feelings may come out when you are drunk, but similarly, it may also just accentuate one aspect of your emotions/ desire. As human beings we are complete packages of reason and emotion... drinking kills some of these things and brings out others. That does not neccessarily mean that we are more truthful drunk.

I mean, amongst people who drink, a lot of mistakes are made. People hook up with people they have no feelings for, sometimes people they find outright repulsive. One gets a lot less picky drunk, and often one may say things one regrets the next day. Thats not a sign that their innermost feelings are coming forward, its a sign of a lack of reasoning or a heigthened sense of lust.

Anyhow, that being said, from what you describe he probably does like you. It sounds like the booze is giving him the courage to approach you. If you have broken up with your boyfriend, why not approach him when you are sober and see how you interact without booze.

okay.this is going to be long but if you need to know more about type two diabetes here is a link to a website that defines diabetes

http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/diet/diabetes/s

ymptoms_control.htm

so basicallly. i live in england and am a 14/f
i weigh 100 kg. thus (big suprise) i am obese.

that's one of the symptoms/causes of type 2

diabetes.
the other symptoms are:
Excessive thirst
Passing of excessive amounts of urine
Fatigue
Frequent skin infections e.g. boils
Itchiness
Blurred vision
Cuts or sores that take a long time to heal

but for me:
Excessive thirst- i don't really think i drink too

too much but i can't deny that i drink a lot but i

think i have always been that way, so i'm not sure.

Passing of excessive amounts of urine- okay this is

complicated. se since i was a kid, i have had

problems wetting the bed. recently i've been

stopping and now in the night i can't get to sleep cos i keep thinking i need to go to the toilet which i do (every10 secs!) but barley any pee comes out so does it count?

Fatigue- i'm generally sleepy person but no more than usaul which is saying a lot because it's midnight although i'm yawning but i did i wen't to sleep lat ight at 330 am and woke up about 1 pm . is that sleepng for too long?

Frequent skin infections e.g. boils - no boils but we just got a cat and recently my les have in sore and itchy where the cat scrathed me. no infections however but i have strech marks

Itchiness
as mentioned cat allergies as well as hayfever so not certain. i'm not trying to excuse my itchienes but when i hug my cat then my eyes get itchy after so i'm sure it's the cat. i'm not sure about my legs but my mom (who is a doctor) says it's cos the cat scrathed my and the marks on my legs show some wierd thiing to do with glands that i can't remeber

Blurred vision - i wear glasses so thee's no way to tell

Leg pain - i'm not sure what defines leg pain but i super clumsy so i constantly twist my leg and i'm double jointed so as of yester day i'm on crutches and it hurts so i dunno

Cuts or sores that take a long time to heal the scrathes on my legs have been the same for a few days but i can't tell

one last thing, i really don't wanna go to the doctors because as i'm under 16 my mom would find out and i don't want her of all peole, to find out because she is a mean person. is ther a sure way for me to find out withut her finding out that i have it or not?????? help me!!!!!!!

First off this sort of home diagnosis is totally counter productive. Before you know it you will see symptoms where there are none, and you might even start manifesting some just because you worry so much about them. Furthermore, people on this site cannot offer anything more than a guess based on the facts you provided. That is no good either.

So, you need to stop worrying (if you can), and you need to get tested. I did a little net research and you can get home test kits. All you need is a little cash. Here is one place called first air warehouse from England:

http://www.firstaidwarehouse.co.uk/xpp-diabetes_screening_tests.html?kwmid=4448038&kmcid=9335522531&OVRAW=diabetes%20home%20test&OVKEY=diabetes%20home%20test&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=9335522531&OVKWID=77437084031

Now, since I assume you might have difficulty ordering online, I am pretty sure that if these things are on the net you can also find them in stores. Check at your local pharmacy or something like that. They appear to be both inexpensive and somewhat common.

If you do end up testing positive, do tell someone right away. If you test negative (as I suspect you will), maybe it will give you a push nonetheless to do something about your weight.

Anyhow, good luck.

I've been drunk at least 10 times.
I've only had one hangover.
The one time I had it it was my first time drunk, and I wasn't that drunk. The next day I was throwing up, and I had a stabbing headache.

All the others times, I've been from a little drunk to really really drunk so I can't even talk properly, I wake up in the morning, no hangover. Just slightly feeling sick around lunch time.

Now, I'm not complaining ;)
I'm just wandering why.

15/f if it helps.
And I don't live in the states. So don't lecture me :)

Alcohol is unpredictable that way. Its unpredictable in its effect from person to person, as well as its effect on you over a longer period of time.

It also varies a lot with what you drink, what/ when you eat, how rested you are, and of course natural tolerance (which plays a huge role). I tried something similar when I started drinking but I soon found that things changed. First off, due to my very high natural tolerance, the amounts increased, this resulted in different kinds of hangovers (hard to explain)), and so on.

Now in my opinion, lecturing you should have nothing to do with the legal drinking age- rather it should have to do with the damage you are doing at such a young age.

I dont live in the states either, so being 21 is inconsequential to me. However, at 15 your body is growing and in one of the most crucial stages of your development. Alcohol is essentially a poison that induces a high. It has a profound effect on your body, it is habit forming, and it should not be something that any 15 year old consumes in any country on this planet.

hey all.... m a 19 year old guy with a physic kind of fine with a few extra pounds... but the thing which annoys me the most is exess fat on the chest region of mine which looks kind of awkward some times when i remove clothes..
actually under that thick layer of flesh i got a quite well developd chest muscles as i have been doin gym for a long time... but they get shades unde rhte fats... i am really annoyd with it.. i do gym quite often and do swimming for bout a kilometer a day...
any nice suggestions to tackle this prob??? plz help me

Hey there,

Ok, first off, like all fat your problem cannot be spot reduced (i.e. targetted through exercise). The answer below is plain wrong and adheres to one of the most common and irritating exercise myths around today.

The condition you have is called gynecomasita, and it is a fairly common problem. You can read about it on the wiki entry here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynecomastia

They talk about different kinds of treatments. The most common, from what I have heard, for mild cases is to reduce overall body fat. For more severe cases surgery is often needed. However, one should probably try the first option out first and see if it goes away.

But do check out their treatment section and also talk to your doctor (to determine that this is really what you have, if there are any other options, and so on).

If you need advice specific advice on how to generally reduce body fat (in terms of diet and exercise plan), then you can always a question to me or to the pool.

Good luck.

i have very big legs. they're not fat but they're just really muscular. i really want to slim them down before school starts but all the exersizes i see in magazines just work on getting rid of fat and they only make my legs more muscular. any tips on exersizes i can do?

First of all NONE of the exercises you see in magazines will get rid of fat from legs or any other part of the body. Either its an outright lie, or more likely they are implying it, as magazines often do- without actually saying it. Thats because humans cannot target fat loss.

As for muscle loss, its actually simpler in theory at least. If you dont use it, you lose it. Apart from genetic presdisposition, muscle builds up as an overcompensation to the stress you put your body through. The less stress, the less muscle.

You would need to particularly avoid anaerobic types of exercises, since they have a tendency to produce more volume. E.g. Gym workouts like squats, sports like volleyball, soccer, and anything with shorter strength/ power movements.

Personally I would rather keep the muscular legs than become less active.

Good luck.

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