You're not gonna like this, but if they have a mutual crush going on - she likes him and he likes her back - and they KNOW they like each other, you can't get him.
If they don't know they like each other - I mean he doesn't know she likes him - then I suppose you could step in, do a lot of flirting, and if he ever asks about her, convince him that she doesn't like him and he has no chance with her.
BUT
That is extremely conniving and not at all nice. This girl is your best friend? I wouldn't steal her guy from her. Guys come and go but best friends should remain that way.
Good luck
-Siren =)

Yeah, Younggrandma's right. Get out now. Three months and he proposed? Sounds like he's desperate - not for a wife and a loving relationship - for someone to control, and you're it.
You're letting him do it, too.
I mean, I can understand saying "I love you" in a month, but proposing in three? At least you realize it was too soon. I know couples that have been together for three years and aren't engaged.
If there's ANY doubt in your mind EVER that he's "not the one for you," then he's not the one for you. That little voice in the back of all our minds is right more often than we'd like to admit. The subconscious is a very perceptive part of our minds, and we don't give it nearly enough credit.
This guy sounds more abusive than anything, and what you have going on here doesn't sound like love to me.
It sounds like the beginning of an abusive relationship, not a loving one. In a relationship you're supposed to be able to hang out with your friends and his friends together, and you're supposed to be happy, not slitting your wrists.
Think carefully about this - were you happier without him in your life? Were you less stressed out?
(I believe the answer to those is "yes")
Or are you happier now, when you're being alienated from your friends, and untrusted by the one person who is supposed to trust you?
It's admirable that you want advice. Now all you have to do is take it.
Easier said than done, I'm sure, but please take what we're telling you to heart.
Get out now.
Good luck
-Siren =)

Wow. You're either very young or very sheltered, both of which are fine...at least you're asking questions.
Okay, your vagina cannot be "popped".
"Cherry" is a slang term for your hymen, which is a thin layer/piece of skin just inside your vagina.
You cannot stick a finger up your cherry. That sentence doesn't make any sense.
Sticking things up your vagina doesn't necessarily mean you're going to break your hymen. You'll know when it's broken if it hurts, and bleeds. It may be sore for a while.
There are other ways to break your hymen than just sex, such as horseback riding, tampons CAN break it, but they don't always...etc.
The only way you're going to be able to get pregnant is if you have sex, and the only way you're going to actually have sex is if your hymen is broken. Otherwise, it would hurt a lot. Trust me.
Breaking your hymen wil have no ill effects on your menstrual cycle or the rest of your life, really.
It's a process that pretty much everyone goes through.
So yeah, that's not a bad thing, it's normal, and in fact, it's a good thing.
-Siren =)

I agree wholeheartedly with DangerWrench. However, I can sympathize. I often find myself changing little things about myself to appease my boyfriends, but it's not a conscious decision. If you EVER change, you need to change for yourself, not for him.
Being open with one another IS a good thing. I'm sorry, but you do not have a close to perfect relationsip if you can't talk about anything and everything. If he's uncomfortable with that, and with doing or saying things in front of you, something's not right.
I suggest you discuss this with him - I know he says he thinks it should be saved for marriage, and I suppose that's respectable.
BUT, you're changing yourself into someone and something you're not just to be a better person for him.
Think about this.
Is this really what you want? Do you really want to censor yourself because your boyfriend isn't comfortable with anything sexual?
As DangerWrench said, you're basically lying to him. You're playing a character.
I think you should spend some time without him and do a little thinking about what's going on.
I imagine you care about him quite a bit, but is he willing to change for you like you're changing for him?
Relationships are about compromise, and you BOTH have to be willing to give it a shot.
It is most ceretainly not bad to want to talk about that. Your boyfriend needs to realize that talking about it isn't the same thing as doing it.
Sex can be saved for marriage, and that's respectable. But you need to be comfortable talking about that kind of stuff anyway. He needs to loosen up, you need to stop trying to be his perfect girl, and you two need to talk.
Good luck
-Siren =)

Well, not necessarily. I mean, I'm 18, I'm on the pill, and my periods vary in length, but they're usually on the 5-7 day end of the spectrum.
Some people have shorter periods, some people have longer periods. It's really hard to say if your body is regulating itself or not. Some people take yeeeeeeeears to regulate.
If this happens a few times, then congratulations, you're regulated. Lol.
-Siren =)

Well, I dunno how much I can help you. No one understands the innerworkings of the opposite sex. Looks really don't matter all that much. I can't tell you what you're doing wrong or right, but if you're shy, or uncertain, or have low self esteem, that could be your answer.
What exactly are you doing to try to "get a girl friend"? You could be trying too hard, or trying the wrong way. There are so many things you could be doing wrong.
There are also, however, a lot of things you could be doing right, and you might just not know the right people. Your success depends quite a bit on your surroundings, and not necessarily you.
I will tell you that I believe everyone has their time. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear. Unfortunately, without more detail I can't give you very detailed advice. Can you give me an example of an interaction between yourself and a girl you're interested in - is there someone you're interested in, or is this just a general thing?
If you'd like me to try a little harder, I'd be glad to - I just need more info.
-Siren =)

Instead of talking to your boyfriend - if you have already talked to him about this - get him talking to Troy.
Or hang out with both of them and show your boyfriend that Troy's no different than anyone else. Your boyfriend probably is insecure, most people generally are.
Tell Troy what's going on, and tell your boyfriend you want the two of them to talk. Troy might be able to reassure him very well if he's a good friend.
I had a jealous boyfriend problem, and I didn't think of this. I think it would be a good idea to get the two problems talking to each other. Lol.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Leilani,
As far as the hickeys, if you haven't tried the frozen/cold spoon against the neck thing, I would try it. (Put a spoon in the fridge and when it's really cold press it against the hickey. It might be too late to do it now, but you never know.
For your second issue, if you take your birth control the way you're supposed to and don't miss any pills or take them too late, then you should be okay. I still reccomend using condoms, unless you're 100% sure there are no STDs involved. It also increases the effectiveness of birth control to at least 98%. Neither the pill or a condom is 100% effective, but if you take your birth control the right way you shouldn't have much of a problem.
You wanna know why it's so hard for guys to tell their girls how they are feeling about them? You mean if they love them, or whatever? "I love you" is hard to say. It means a lot. If the guy isn't sure you reciprocate his feelings, he's not gonna wanna come out and say it. Those three little words mean so much to some people, not enough to others, and other people still don't even know what it means to them. Love is like a jewel. It's strong, it lasts a long time, and it's a beautiful and alluring thing. Some guys are too afraid to dive into the whole thing. Some girls are, too, understandably. It means an immeasurable amount to tell someone you love them and mean it.
I hope this answers your questions.
-Siren =)

I'm kind of in the opposite situation. My mother tends to raise her voice to me.
If this happens to be on the phone, I let her know I'm going to hang up and ask her to call me back when she has stopped yelling.
The way you phrase EVERYTHING in an argument is crucial. If you sound accusatory, obviously your daughter will get angry.
Instead of saying "I don't want you to do this because blahblahblah," try letting her know how YOU feel when she does something you don't want her to do: "When I hear about this happening, I get upset because I'm worried about your safety..."
Center your sentences around YOU and YOUR emotions, not her and hers. For one thing, it gives her what she wants - the center of attention - and it sounds like you're blaming her for whatever's going on.
There's actually a book on this. I think it's "My Family, Myself" - and I don't remember who the author is, but the system I describe here is depicted clearly in the book. It teaches children how to discuss things calmly with their parents, and vice versa, if the parent reads it.
If this is a serious problem, I suggest investing in it.
In the meantime, make sure you keep your cool, think before you speak to make sure you won't sound like you're blaming her, and if all else fails refuse to discuss things with her until she can speak without yelling.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Honey, I hate to say it, but all guys are like that. It's not perverse, it's hormonal. =P
You say you've talked to him. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you asked him to stop, or something along those lines (if I'm wrong, lemme know, but that's my assumption, based on the way you speak of the situation).
Since every single one of my guyfriends enjoys to look at pictures of women (they did this when they were fifteen, too), I'm gonna say you're gonna have a damn hard time getting him to stop.
What you might do is ask him not to discuss it with you. Let him know it bothers you a lot when it comes up in conversation and whatnot.
Honestly, though, it's perfectly normal for a fifteen year old guy to do something like that. It's not a bad habit - hell, some girls I know even look at porn. Guys are very visual. They like to see things. There's nothing wrong with it.
In any case, instead of trying to get him to stop completely, I would just try to get him to stop bothering you with it. That would probably be considerably easier for him.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

That has happened to me, usually when my feet are cold, or I'm stretching. It's a muscle spasm.
You can prevent it by making sure you don't overstretch, and keep your feet relaxed when you do stretch. Also, keep your feet warm.
This at least sounds like what has happened to me, and since I've done all this (been careful about stretching, kept my feet warm) I haven't had another muscle spasm.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Rubbing alcohol. Trust me. Lol. That will take permanent marker off anything, including skin and clothing.
It's a good thing.
-Siren =)

Yeah, that's normal. I know someone who had that feeling after she lost her virginity. I didn't, but that's a whole 'nother story. =P
Just make sure you're safe about it. Get on the pill if you can, and make your boyfriend use condoms.
I'm sure you know all that, but I just had to say it. Heh.
Anyway, sex is a big thing. It's a big thing to go through, and it marks a big change in your life. Sex is also kind of like a drug. If you had a good experience and you like the feeling, you're obviously going to want it again. It makes sense, doesn't it?
That's kind of how I always felt about it.
-Siren =)

No, it's not weird.
Do keep in mind, though, six or seven years is a very long time. My high school sweetheart and I discussed marriage after college, but as fate would have it, I met someone else and am now dating someone better suited to me.
It's fine to want to get married, but don't tie yourself down if you don't want to be stuck. Remember you can always get out of it.
But to actually answer your question, no, it's not weird for a guy to want that, if he really cares about you and thinks he wants to be with you for the rest of his life.
Emotions are powerful. They influence quite a bit of our decisions, whether we like to admit it or not.
-Siren =)

Heh. That sounds familiar. You need the following:
*Connections
*A degree
*incredible ability
*dedication
*power
*control
*...a lot more
First let me say about the colleges I noticed listed below, Juliard is great for dance and instrumental music (I know a dancer who went there, and my third flute teacher went there), but not for voice, and DEFINITELY not for undergrad. University of Michigan is a lot better for education than it is for performance.
You want a vocal performance degree. That's what I'm doing - I'm a vocal performance major at Oakland University (Michigan).
La Traviata is a good opera. If you get the chance, go see La Boheme (If you know the musical Rent, that's the opera the musical's based on). Also, see Il Barbiere di Seviglia (I think I spelled that right, but in English it's just The Barber of Seville). Rossini. Funny. Mozart continued that with Le Nozze di Figaro (The Marriage of Figaro). Even if you're not into opera, you'd probably like these.
Anyway, a voice performance degree requires a lot of patience and the will to work. A LOT. I like to think I'm good for my age, but I still don't practice nearly as much as I should, and I know it.
I'm not trying to discourage you by any means. Opera is a great thing. When I sing anything now (classical), I feel like I'm using my entire body to produce the sound my voice teacher wants. I feel like I'm singing from my toes, lol. Operas are long - that's a lot of power to keep steady for that long.
I'm glad you have other things you'd like to do.
I don't! (We'll see where that gets me, right?)
Music is never a bad idea. I say pursue it, if you like, in college. Get a degree in vocal performance if you have the stamina/endurance/ability. If it turns out that it's not what you want to do, change your major. You have loooooots of options, but definitely go for that if it's what you want to do. College.
College is the answer. You need training above all to be an opera singer. You want to go where one or more of the teachers has experience training opera singers. Look for that before you look at the name of a school.
UofM sounds good, but if the teachers suck (no offense to anyone who goes there), then it's bad.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

If I may point something out, "mad at him" and "mad about him" are two WAAAAAAAAY different things. Which did you put in the letter?
The second, I hope. If you've got the nerve to tell him you like him, and why you like him, definitely go for it. Unless you're sure he likes you back, realize that you may be putting yourself up for rejection. If you think he does like you, then you have nothing to worry about.
As long as you realize all this, you should be fine.
If you don't want to tell him you like him yet, then you might want to reconsider your letter.
I say keep it and give it to him, or stick it in his locker, whatever you planned to do with it.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Okay, the issue here is hers. Not yours. She's the one that's afraid to be hurt. You've gotta convince her that you're not going to hurt her.
I had a similar problem, but it was more of a trust issue than a fear issue. It was my issue, though, not my boyfriend's. He didn't, however, try to convince me that he was trustworthy by tearing himself apart in the process. He just told me I had two options - I could just assume he was like all the other guys I've dated and wasn't wort trusting, and over time I'd see that it wasn't the case. Or, I could just accept the fact that he was different and come to realize that I'd put my trust in the right person - and left it to me to decide between them.
I chose the second option, once he put it like that. If he had the nerve to insist that he was so different, maybe he was.
He made it my decision, and it made sense to me.
You can't help it if you love her and she needs to realize that. She also needsd to stop shutting you out, which is exactly what she's doing. I suggest you stop trying to fix everything yourself, and help her realize that she has a problem. Let her decide what to do.
If she continues to push you away, then she's going to screw the relationship over.
As I said, you really can't do anything at this point. You've tried a lot, you've shown that you're willing to do a lot to make her happy, but the one thing you haven't tried is letting HER fix it.
Since she is the one with the problem here, I would give her the chance instead of trying to fix it yourself. Never change yourself for someone else. If you change, change for you.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

In the future, please try to provide more detail to your question. Does this boy know you exist?If the answer to that is "no", then maybe you should inform him. Go up to him and say "hi, I'm [insert name]," or strike up a conversation in school. Run into him in the halls? Say "wow, these halls are so crowded. What class are you off to?"
Try not to ask questions he can just say "yes" or "no" to. If he can just go "mmhmm," it ends the conversation too quickly.
If the case is that he does know you exist, and you're certain he doesn't like you, there really isn't a lot you can do about it. Sorry. It sucks, I know, but your best bet might just be to look around and move on.
I noticed you signed your question "not popular girl". If you just think he doesn't like you because you're not "popular" and he is, ignore that all. It is possible for a "popular" guy to like an "unpopular" girl, and the other way around.
Talk to him. Be bold! If I haven't touched on your situation, feel free to drop another question here with more detail so I can give you a more thorough answer. Remember, communication is key.
I hope this helps a bit!
-Siren =)

Hey. I'm probably about to tell you a bunch of stuff you don't wanna hear, but I think it needs to be said.
People your age in general don't seem to be able to appreciate classical music. I'm guessing they were laughing because they thought it was stupid. I've been laughed at and taunted, and I'm a voice performance major in college.
With music, particularly performance, you've just gotta know you're good. Think about all this stuff:
You were admitted into an advanced choir at an early age. Do you really think you'd be in that choir if you sucked?
You've been singing for six years. I think that's longer than I have been actively singing. I mean I was in choirs my whole life, but only started lessons when I was 13 and a half. Yeah, you've been singing longer than me.
You KNOW you're very trained as a singer. Technique will get you very far.
Maybe this just isn't your time. I mean, I did all these competitions and I won a bunch of them, so I thought "cool, I'm good!" but then I started competing with different age groups (college-age) and can't seem to win anything. However, I know for a fact that the people I've been competing with have much more developed and trained voices than I do. An eighteen-year-old can't musically or physically compete with a thirty-year-old. It just doesn't work. She has had twelve more years of training than me.
In a way, it's good that you aren't overconfident. On the other hand, to be a singer you kind of need to have an ego. You've just gotta know you're good and not care what anyone else thinks (This is where that comes in).
Doing auditions and the like to get over your stage fright is a good idea, but not if you continue to have bad experiences. Choose your auditions and competitions wisely - know when you really do have a chance to win (in competitions).
As far as talent show things, that's just what it is. A talent SHOW. You would have had the opportunity to show people what you can do when you perform.
A really good classical singer is a rare thing, especially young(ish). Everyone can sing rock, but it takes real talent to be able to sing classical music.
I hope this brings your spirit up a little. Don't doubt yourself.
-Siren =)

Cute.
*Mew?*
...__..........__
./....\/\__/\/....\
|.....(=O O=).....|
.\/\/\/(_)(_)\/\/\/
^That may end up as an extremely misshapen demonkitti.
and I thought I actually had a question to answer =P

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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